Pig-sama: Okay! Heyyyyy. This is my first onnie for HM! I normally wouldn't write for this series, but what can I say, Oliver inspires me. So enjoy all you people.

Disclaimer: If you actually think I won this series, you are SOME kind of crazy. Because I don't. Point. Made.

+cough+


Oliver Oken stared down the empty hallway. This was more TV cliché then he ever imagined.

He'd cut class a little early to make his escape. Why? There was no way he'd become a victim of the Pantser.

The Pantser, as far as he knew, had been pantsing every guy at school since this past Tuesday. Today was Friday, and Oliver had still managed to say out of its grasp. But he was running out of time quickly. The Pantser had revealed the shorts of pretty much every male on campus. Even the weird CPR model in heath class wasn't safe from the it's wrath.

Why they had picked him for the final pants-ee, he did not know. All he knew was that by cutting out of the end of class with a fake bathroom pass, he could sneak down the stairs and past the lockers to his next class without getting pantsed. Then, all he had to do is make it out of the building, and he was safe for the weekend.

He could hear his own heavy breathing as he crept past the lockers. The awful cliché of the empty hall was really getting to him. He slowly snuck down the hallway, and was making good progress, when he heard approaching footsteps.

Panicking, he used his locker opening skills to bust open the door to the locker closest to him. Quickly, he dumped all the contents out, and, judging by the number of records with Swiss titles, the owner enjoyed yodeling to the oldies.

He quickly squeezed his tall frame inside and slammed the door after him. After being in that position for all of five seconds, he had the realization that this was the worst idea he'd ever had.

"No!" he thought, "I'm already here I can't back out now. There is NO way I can be embarrassed again after that Bagel thing last month….."

He shuddered at the memory. He would never look at bagels the same way ever again.

He watched the figure through the small slots in the door. It paused in front of the locker, then moved on. Figuring he was safe, he slipped out of the locker, stuffed the contents back in the bottom, and realized that the figure hadn't stopped to look around, they'd stopped to steal his backpack.

"Shoot….." Oliver muttered. "Half the money for my 'Bribing Owen' fund was in there…."

"Oh, really?" came a voice from behind him. He saw a figure, dressed in all black, facing him. All this clicheness was making him sick.

"Oh….." he gasped, stepping backwards as the person approached him.

"You like your panties, Oken?"

"I…h-happen to…love my panties." Oliver squeaked, clutching his hips protectively.

The person, who he now knew must be the Pantser, chuckled. "Too bad."

Oliver took off running down that hallway as fast as his skinny legs could go, with the Pantser following close behind him. "Must be athletic…" he thought, turning a sharp corner to face the staircase.

He stopped, for barely a second so he wouldn't lose his balance, but it was too late. The Pantser reached for him, and in a desperate attempt to escape, he jumped over the stairs.

The whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion. He soared above the stairs for a brief moment, and felt the hands of the Pantser only after it was too late.

He landed on his face with a thud at the bottom of the stairs, as the Pantser stood triumphantly above him, giggling. Suddenly, Oliver sensed something familiar about that giggle.

"That was priceless!" The Pantser said, removing its mask, revealing its identity.

"L-l-l-LILLY?!"

"Payback for last Halloween." She said simply.

"But-but-but-"he stuttered hopelessly "Why all the other guys too?"

"Because! You should SEE guys when they're embarrassed! 'Ooh! My pants! Augh!"" she impersonated, followed my more laughter.

Oliver just stared, completely speechless for once in his life.

Lilly stepped down, dropping Oliver's pants on top of him.

"Oh, by the way? Nice Mickey shorts, Prince Charming!" She walked off, leaving him there.

And that was it. All the stuff he'd gone through, just to realize that Lilly held serious grudges against him.

He sighed. "Well," he thought, still staring up at the ceiling in shock, "At least nobody SAW that."

But then, the defining sound of the school bell rang through the hall, and the school filled with the sound of students coming out of their classrooms. And down the stairs.

"Oh My God."


Pig-sama: Heh. So that's it, don't kill me for fulfilling my own needs. R&R, folks.