Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or its characters
Rating: PG-13 for violence mostly
A/N: Italics are flashbacks!

To Breathe Again

"Patience, my young Padawan," Jedi Master Mace Windu called out. "You must be patient."

Just feet away, his Padawan Learner, Amis Deelay, stood near her sparring partner, Anakin Skywalker. They had never spoken before, but his talent was no mystery. Anakin was all of a year older than her, but he found he had underestimated her talent with a lightsaber.

She had been the first to attack, and it was undetectable, more than he thought it would be or could be. They were both competitive by nature, and neither would admit to any weakness. The match had already drug on for what seemed like hours. Anakin refused to show it, but he was tired. Amis didn't look or seem in the least bit tired. Her attacks ere stronger while his defensive lines grew weaker.

Anakin managed to shove her back, but she came back even stronger. She wasn't thrown off balance for even a second. At Anakin's next attack, she flipped over him with great ease. The next attack was hers. She rounded on her opponent and shoved him off balance with an aggression he had never felt before. With a quick round-house kick, she knocked him to the ground. She delivered what would have been the killing blow had her lightsaber not been on training mode.

The two Padawan's Masters were standing on the sidelines watching. Amis helped Anakin off the ground easily. "Good match," she commented quietly with a small smile, and she turned to face Mace, take his criticis, and accept his corrections, whatever they might be.

"Well done, Padawan, but you must be patient, both with yourself and your opponent," Mace started with a quiet, yet firm tone. "Patience is the key to a successful match. If you lose the key, it will be harder to win and more tiring from the frustration. You will get nowhere if you cannot remain patient."

Amis nodded, wiping the sweat from her face. "Yes, Master," she replied.

Mace sighed as he passed the sparring room they had always used. Amis was his best student. She was gifted and a hard worker. At that time, she had only been fourteen. She was strong, obedient, and a fast learner. Her only weakness was her impatience. She wanted to win a match immediately. To end a match as soon as possible was wise, but she grew uneasy and anxious if she wasn't able to.

The Master-Padawan bond was strong and lasted long after the apprentice became a Jedi Knight. Mace hadn't seen Amis in over a year and a half. She was no longer his apprentice. She had chosen another life, not a Jedi's live anymore. She had been expelled from the Jedi Order. She was lost to him. There was no chance she could ever come back. She gave up that life, hadn't she?

It was her choice, Mace told himself. He couldn't believe her decision was his fault. True, he was her Master, her teacher True, it was his job to teach her, but it was also her job to learn. He couldn't blame himself if she didn't learn. It was her faults that caused failure, not his. So why did he feel this way? Why did he blame himself? Was he such a failure he couldn't move on?

"No. Think like that, you must not," Master Yoda said from behind Mace.

Mace turned. "Master, I didn't see you."

"Distracted you have been. Think so much of your former Padawan you should not. Healthy it is not."

Mace nodded in agreement. "Yes, but I can't help it. Something went wrong. Somewhere, somehow, at some point, maybe I told her something in the wrong way or I didn't tell her something."

"Made the decision she did. Not you."

Mace sat down with a sigh. "Yes. But she's not a murderer. She had her flaws, yes, but that wasn't like her. I'm sure there was a reason she refused to tell the Council what happened. Maybe she felt guilty or didn't know exactly what went on. But every time I think of it, I just know, I know she's innocent! She has to be."

"Blinded you are, young one. Blinded by your bond, which was so strong."

"You taught her in classes, Master! You know she didn't lost control, even when she was angry. She always controlled herself." Mace let out a heavy sigh. "She killed a Jedi, or she was accused of it, but she's never killed anyone before unless she had to. I know her better than anyone. It's not like her."

"Then explain she should have! But explain she did not. Gone she is."

Mace nodded. "Yes, she is gone. But I can't stop feeling that she's innocent."

"A chance she was given. Turn it down she did."

"It was guilt then, Master! She was a perfectionist and went hard on herself over the smallest mistake. She hated making mistakes. Perhaps it was an accident and she was angry because of it. But I don't think she could murder anyone. Not ever!"

"Then time you must take to think. Leave you must. Time alone you need."