Alphabet Soup for the Millenium Soul
Disclaimer: Another silly fic I had written in class. It started out as something intellectually perfect, and then turned into a mindless hoot! Just goofy nonsense I worked on going through each letter of the alphabet. So, VampireQueenAkasha presents (and is very sorry for) this wacky fic of utter nonsense!
By: VampireQueenAkasha
"Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless."
"What I'm concerned about is the people who don't dwell on the meaninglessness of their lives, or the meaningfulness of it-who just pursue mindless entertainment."
Michael K. Hooker
-Steve Allen
P.S. Brought to you by Hellsing Beer.
If Hellsing isn't your choice,
you're a terrorist.
A-Schrodinger: "A is for ANARCHY!" (Jumps up and down triumphantly). (Jan pokes his head into frame.) It's also for ASS! (Schrodinger glares at him, ears flattening).
B-Zorin: "B is for BLITZKRIEG!" (She displays this by smashing her scythe into the entire background cover, slashing things up. Jan pokes his head into the frame again, grinning). "It's also for BALL SACK!
C-Rip: "C is for CATASTROPHE!" (She spins goofily on top of the battleship cannons and falls over with a yelp and a small "Ouch". And once more, Jan's grinning face is in view. He whispers the next word carefully). "It's also for Cunt ... "
D-Luke: "D is for damnation ... " (Says this in creative and eerie voice. And here is Jan once more, poking his head up behind his brother's back). "It's also for Dick!"
E-Schrodinger: (While looking through a dictionary and struggling to spell the word out). E is for ... en - entrophy!" (His ears flatten in confusion) "What the heck does that mean?"
F-Tubalcain: F ... F is for ... uh ... " (He scratches his head in confusion). "F is for FEROCIOUS!" (Jan in the distance. He holds up a sign that reads "This guy and the Major both get together every Sunday night to fuck each other").
G-The Doctor: "G is for Grenades!" (He maniacally tosses many grenades through the air, letting them explode. He sighs dramatically, letting it out of his system and resumes a professional position). "I am done."
H-The Major: "H is for Hellfire." (Grins nastily while drinking a powerful beer. He coughs slightly and curses once in German.)
I-Zorin: "I is for Incendiary!" (She is holding a blowtorch and blasts a jet of flame all around her. Jan is in the distance, yelping because his ass is on fire).
J-Rip: (Holding up a blade to a whimpering man's throat). "J is for Jugular!" (In normal voice, to the man) "Which I am set to slice up right now." (She grins and pats his head). "Good boy."
K-Jan: (Looking at a book) "K is for Kelly Clarkson." (He blinks and glares at us) "And she's such a fucking hooker!"
L-Tubalcain: "Hang on ... I got it ... (Looks very weary). "L is for Lacerations!" (In the back, Jan calls to him from somwhere). "You're still a fag!" (Tubalcain sighs).
M-Schrodinger: "M is for Mincemeat!" (He yelped frantically and dove into a box, searching madly for something). "Which is what I'll be if I can't find the Major's stash!"
N-The Major: (He is grinning happily at a nuclear warhead). "N is for Nuclear warheads!" (He nuzzles them). "I'm so happy ... "
O-Jan: "O is for O - Ring!" (He giggles and waves his butt in the air). "Oh yeah ... "
P-Rip: "P is for PAIN!" (She fires her rmusket with delight. Jan flashes a grin at us). "Between you and me...it's also for penis ... "
Q-Hans: ... (He looks at us with a look of disgust).
R-Schrodinger: "R is SOOOOO for RAMPAGE!" (He roars and a soft, kitty-like meow escapes his lips. He yelps embarrassed). "You didn't see that ... "
S-Luke: "S is for Slaughter." (He looks back and smiles, walking off).
T-The Doctor-"T is for Tanks. (He is standing around thousands of tanks. He looks around curiously). "Although I am not sure why there are so many here ... "
U-Schrodinger: (Sadly) "I always get the hard words ... "
V-Jan: "V is for Vagina!"
W-The Major: (In full view). "W is for ... WAAAAARRR!"
X-Jan: "XXX is for POR - NO ... " (He disappears below in a dramatic parting tone).
Y-All together: "Y?" (They raise their weapons) "Because WE GOTTA!"
Several Hours later...
Z-Schrodinger: (He is pondering angrily in the dictionary). "AWW COME ON NOW!"
O
Note-See? So silly, huh? Still, hopefully it was good for a laugh. Stay tuned for my next fic!