Zant on Sugar High
A/N: I am not the first one to have this idea. I am, however, the first to write it in just two paragraphs. Rated K because I have to. Just sub in the "toned down" words with the George Carlin words.
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda. If I did, then Ganondorf would appear as main villain in more games. Midna would also come back.
"Just one bite." Ganon held the spoonful of rich, chocolate cake in front of Zant. "No. You don't like me when I'm on sugar high." Zant turned away. He DID want the cake, but it had sugar in it. "Come on, you wuss. I didn't poison it or anything." Ganondorf held the spoon out, with the evilly good magically sugary chocolatey goodness within it. "Just one bite, or I take your powers away for a week." Zant sighed. "Alright, then. But I'm warnin' ya..." "Just eat it." "As you command, my lord" Zant took a bite.
"WEE-HEE-HEE! Wah-CHAAAH! OOH OOH AH AH! Ilikkecake. Doyoulikecakeisuredo." Ganon facepalmed. Never would he be able to take his decision back. Zant was on a sugar high. Zant created a big ball of evil energy. "Takethatmotherlover! Ilikecake." "SHUT THE FUDGE UP OR I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY MORE FREAKING CAKE!" Zant just stared, then went back to being crazy. "Alibar Hayd! Eatmywrathmotherlover!" Zant threw the evil at Ganon. Ganondorf started the transformation. He grew huge tusks and a piglike nose. The newly transformed dark beast ran Zant through. "Iwantmybeepingcake..."
A/N First fic!