Sweeney Todd was horny
Sweeney Todd was horny!!
One day Sweeney Todd was horny. He looked out the window and sighed daintily like a girl. "Oh mai." He said. "I wish I was back in prison. That's were I got all my kicks. Those boys really knew how to lay it on me!"
Suddenly Mrs. Lovett entered into his little dainty shop. "MISTA TEE!" She cried.
"Go away Lovett." He said angrily, "I'm fantasizing about my sex-mates in Australia."
"WELL I NEVER" Cried Lovett again. Then she left.
"Good riddance." Said Mr. Teeee. He sat in his chair and began remembering times of old when he and his cellmate Marion would fondle each other in the night. Ah, those were the days. Why on earth had he gone back to London? There wasn't any action here.
Suddenly WILL FUCKING TURNER jumped through the window and grabbed Mr. Teesssssssssssss WANG!
Mr. Teeee felt uncomfortable with this notion and shot WILL FUCKING TURNER and he fell back out the window. "What is WITH all these disturbances today??"
Suddenly Anthony FUCKIN GODDAM HOPE came through the door with a bang. "MIERSTER TAWWD I WANNA FUCK YER DAUWRTUR JOOWAAGAA!!"
"SHUDAFUKUP ANTHANY!" Yelled Mista Tee
Anthony pouted, "well how about you??""
"WhaT??" Exclaimed masrter Tee
"CAN I FUCK YO INSTEAD SWEEEEEE??"
"Welll……………………………………………………………."
DISTURBING SEX SCENE
"OH YEAH MISTA DTEEE" Said Mrs Lovett.
"SHUT UP WOMAN" Said Mister Tee., "I'm trying to get it on with the girly kid Anthony fucking goddam Hope!!"
"AWRR GIVE IT TO ME MISTER DAWRRD" Said Anthony, ans they felt echothers wangs.
Hooray happy bunny time!
Mrs. Lovett grabbed her camera and shot up the stairs to film some man on man action. To her surprise Toby was already filming it so she just sat and watched.
"TOOOOBBBBYYYYY! Through the old woman in thrrrrr!" Cried mrs. Lovett and toby through the old woman in the smoke cloud that was Mr. Todd and Anthony.
'EWWWWWWW!! A GIRL!" cried Anthony and his penis retracted into his body and he jumped out the window.
"NOOOOO BLUE BALLSSSSSSSSSSS!" Cried Sweemy as he looked over at his soft penis.
MEANWHILE…………..
"OH HOJANNAH, I wish I was as pretty as you, then the Judge would notice meeeeee!!" Sang the Beadle Bamford. He was going through Johanna';s closet, and found the sluttiest dress he could find.
"Won't you let me borrow this for the fancy dress party??"
Johanna agreed. "But first let me braid your hair Beadle."
"OAYAYYAYAYYY!" The beadle jumped about with delight! Then he stared out the peep hole and saw the Judge coming!!
"ShIT Jo, I gotta go!" So he jumped out the window, but unfortunately he impaled himself on the fence and died.
"Oh poo." Said Johanna.
"My shmoopsykins!" Said Judge Turpin! He was half naked, standing at her door. "Its time for our pre-marital honeymoon!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" cried Jo.
MEANWHILE………..
"MUM I WANNA SEX YOU UP!" Cried Toby. He was standing on the barber chair half naked, flailing about.
Mr Tee said "GTFO YOU MOFO!"
Mrs Lovett Stripped down to her dainties and began feeling up MR Teeee
"ARGG" Said Toby,"NOT HIM, ME!! YOU MUTHAFUCKA"
Mrs Lovett was sliced by Mr Teeeetarara. He threw her out the window and she landed on Adolfo Pirelli.
"EY-A!" Said Signore Pirelli! "DAT-A IS-A DEAD-A BODY-A!"
"Sorry sir" Said Mrt Teard "But I'm afraid I'm busy molesting a young boy. Sorry."
Toby jumped with surprise. "FU Sweeney I'm outaa here." And witht hat, he stepped on the pedal and fell downt he chute into the bake house. He also died.
So there he was, Swee all alone. Suddenly Johanna came a-knockin
"EXCUSE ME GUY WHO I HAVE NO IDEA IS MY FADDA, WANNA GET IT AWWWN??"
Sweeney grimaced, "Yer a freaky girly girl. No wai."
"Awww but the Judge is gonna take me on his pre-marital honeymoon if I don't get fucked soom!"
"Well fine." So they did it. Oh happy day. THE END
I wrote this with my better half.