OMFG my first fanfic.

Derailed –Ch. 1

It was another normal day in Konoha.

Scratch that.

It was the most paranormal day in Konoha's history. Uchiha Sasuke was showing emotion.

I know what you're thinking.

"What

The

Hell?"

Next thing you know, Tsunade will stop drinking her "Special" water, or…… Gasp!

Kakashi will stop reading dirty novels!

Wait! That will never happen!

Anyway, continuing onward!

Sasuke dashed through the busy streets of Konoha. Normal, right?

Except for the simple fact that he was clumsier than Naruto, which, by itself, was a good reason to prepare for hell freezing over.

Oh, but dear reader, there's more.

Sasuke was sweating.

Sasuke was frowning.

Sasuke's eyes were puffy from tears.

And the worst of all, He was wearing a neon green shirt.

The shirt just so happened to read, "Shy, but sexy."

Once again,

What

The

Hell?

Oh, yes. Did I mention the blindingly orange pants that would put Naruto's outfit to shame and potentially kill itself?

Now I did.

All of them on Uchiha the Sasuke were definitely a head turner. In fact, no one on the streets moved, just stared. Even Sasuke's cough Stalkers cough I mean Fan Club were frozen, their squeals caught in their throats, dumbstruck. Everyone wanted to know how the heck Sasuke actually wore that outfit and emotions and why.

It goes a little something like this:

-----------------------------------3 weeks ago-------------------------------------------

Sasuke was walking back from a harsh day of training with Naruto. Yes, Sasuke had returned due to Naruto's persuasion, and, (In an epic battle spanning WAY too many episodes) Successfully defeated his elder brother, Itachi. Since there was nothing left to do with his life, so back to Konoha he went. Yes, he was considered a traitor, and went through a helluva interrogation by Ibiki or whatever, but as time passed, his fan club had grown to a disgustingly large size. (There were more fangirls than students in Konoha's Ninja Academy, yeah, that many.)

Sakura, surprisingly, had moved on to Sasuke's replacement, Sai, claiming something about "Huge Penises".

Whatever.

Naruto was his friend again; Kakashi his teacher, and Iruka still that annoyingly patient teacher, or, better know as the (insert Sasuke blanche here) adorable half of KakaIru.

Psh. Whatever. People's sexuality didn't matter to him.

Until that day.

As previously stated, Sasuke had trained with Naruto, and that particular day had been Hell. Naruto had somehow gotten the upper hand and was able to create a large gash along Sasuke's right shoulder. Ouch.

Not only that, but Naruto attempted to sing to cheer Sasuke up.

Now Sasuke had a bloody shoulder and a massive headache. There was only one thing that could cure that particular illness.

Alcohol,

And lots of it.

This, my friends, is why Sasuke allowed Naruto to drag him to Ichiraku Ramen, because sake was mentioned.

'Damn that dobe and his ramen.' Sasuke muttered to himself as he sat down on the barstool.

That was three hours ago, and during that period, Sakura, Sai, and Kakashi joined in on the alcohol-related festivities.

"It'll be a team thing." Naruto stated when Sasuke drunkenly questioned why the three other ninja's were joining them.

"You'll be with your teammates, think of it as bonding." Naruto defended.

Bonding with teammates you hate. Oh joy.

Unfortunately, the only word to describe the entire group of Team Seven was:

Splooshed.

One…Two…Three…. Four…Five. Five! Five bottles of sake were drunk between the five of them.

(For all you stupid people, that's one bottle of hard liquor per person.)

Unfortunately for Team Seven, they, unlike Tsunade, couldn't hold their alcohol.

Oh yes, rumors were spilled.

"Saaassssuuuukkkeeee!" Naruto drawled, while attempting to eat ramen through his nose.

"Whut?" Sasuke burped, downing a shot of sake.

"You're GAAAYYY" Naruto sang happily.

In a fit of sobrerity, Sasuke attempted to retort, "I am not!"

Unfortunately, a loud-ass bitch with chewed-bubblegum-pink hair and an abnormally large forehead was able to respond faster.

"Well DUH!" Sakura screamed, and then proceeded to hit Naruto on the head with her fist. Promptly knocking him unconscious.

"Cha!" Sakura stated proudly, before she proceeded to make out with Sai.

Ah, but what of our lovely Hero, how well did he react to Sakura's comment?

Not well at all.

Sasuke spazzed out, to say the least.

"Imma not gay!" Sasuke slurred, attempting to point his wobbly finger at Sakura.

"Sure you're not." Sakura replied. She was currently doing… 'favors' for Sai.

"It is quite obvious Sasuke, it has been since the beginning." Kakashi stated in a matter-of-fact-ly way.

He then proceeded to lick his Icha-Icha Paradise novel. Yummy.

"I am NOT GAY!" Sasuke protested.

Oh yes, he was getting sober and pissed. Not a good combination.

Naruto snapped back into consciousness, and with a foxy grin said, "It's okay Sas-gay, I know it is difficult for you to come out of the closet, but Neji and Gaara did it, and look at them!" Naruto gestured to Neji and Gaara, who were making out on the bar.

"Besides Teme, I know you changed once you kissed me, and-"

Naruto was promptly cut off by Sakura, who had…uh…'finished' her job with Sai.

"Yeah, that's the reason why you would never go out with me!"

Sasuke then proceeded to twitch.

Furiously.

Kakashi added in on the fun, once again, "And your obsession with male rivals…"

"Don't forget your strange attachment to Naruto's small penis!" Sai added in.

That

Was

It!

Sasuke exploded.

"I am NOT fucking GAY! The only reason I kissed Naruto was because he was pushed into me. I did NOT enjoy it.

I have no female rivals because none have challenged me.

I wouldn't go out with Sakura because she was a bitchy stalker!"

Sakura got offended at the last part, but seriously, who cares?

"AND YOU!" Sasuke pointed at Sai with an accusing finger, "YOU.ARE.THE.ONE.OBSESSED.WITH.PENISES!" he hissed.

"Mmm hmmmm" They all replied, not really listening.

"THAT DOES IT!" Sasuke screeched. He was going to prove he was straight.

Sasuke grabbed the nearest girl, and crushed his lips against hers. She was, at first, frozen from surprise, but then soon relaxed and melted into his kiss. Surprisingly, he liked it. Her lips her soft, and she tasted of vanilla. Sasuke liked it so much he held the kiss for much too long.

When they finally broke off, Sasuke turned to his friends and smirked. 'Whose gay now?' he thought.

They were gaping, but not at Sasuke, but to the girl he kissed. Sasuke slowly turned.

Hinata Hyuuga had fainted from shock.

'Oh shit.'

-End of Chapter one-

Hehehe… my first fanfic.. EVER.

Show me some love or hate, just REVIEW.

Xoxoxoxo

-Hope