Cast A Glance Lower Than The Exterior

Anime/Manga: Bleach

Pairing(s): None

Genre: Tragedy/Drama

Warnings: OOC-ness

Personal thoughts: Random exploration fic

Ps.

"Talking"
'Thinking'

Prologue

Izuru knew most would say he was vulnerable.

Maybe they were right, he didn't know but what he did know was that he wasn't the only one, maybe because of his readable eyes it just made it easier to see it. Although, you couldn't always just look at the exterior, you had to explore the interior to fully understand. So little do and Izuru thought it was a shame. If someone would than maybe someone would just save those two from their pools of despair and darkness in their hearts because Izuru could see them drowning. Both chasing someone they love, one friendly, one romantically but they were chasing, they were crashing. How come he had to see this, when was he taught to look below and not above?

'Why couldn't I be ignorant…?'

Maybe he was vulnerable, maybe he wasn't but he knew he found his strength and unfortunately through a person he learned to despise through anger. He learned to hold onto what he gave him because he knew if he gave that up then he would become vulnerable. Maybe it was because what he was taught wasn't as contradicting that he was able to hold on so easily. Maybe that was why his friend was struggling to not let go, so little fingers left.

'What do I do… he's supposed to be my guidance not the other way around…'

They are strong. Keeping it so hidden so well but even everyone has their tells, even someone boisterous. Maybe being that way was a good way to hide things, cover up scars that everyone thinks shouldn't exist. There's a fear though as he looks at all his friends, it's so minor that it takes quite a few tries before you'll see it. He's suffered the same, the pain of abandonment, the fear of loss and the thoughts of inferiority.

'How can I help him when I've help build the gap?'

Izuru's eyes soften and sadden as he stares at them from the far distance, so many people blocking his view that sometimes he can't see the two at all. He can still feel them and he knows he shouldn't be staring at them, he knows it's rude. However he can't do anything but that because he's afraid to take the step forward that the two of them need. Afraid to try and be the one strong enough to carry their burdens as well, it's not like he can't carry burdens. It's something he knows how to handle but no one but himself, him, and Wabisuke has ever given him that chance.

Izuru can't dare to take a step because they never called him, never noticed him amongst the dark cloud around them. So Izuru walks away again, knowing he's useless, knowing he can't reach out to them, not with this crowd, how can he weave through it to reach them, to bring them out. He knows despair but to get rid of it is another question, he doesn't think he can. Izuru eyes, stoic to everyone else but it displays his soul to those he knows, he's vulnerable and he knows it. Unstable in mind and depressing, always looking for lies when he shouldn't.

'Can understanding be enough?'

He wants to say hai but knows better because even if he knows both their pains, they would never understand him being strong. They would never let him reach them because he is vulnerable and frail to them. He is nothing to them. There is no trust in their relationship, there is nothing to share, they lack balance. He can't be that balance but neither of them want to be a balance, they all want to be the weight that keeps someone grounded instead of the weight of despair. They both lack the weight of being grounded for themselves and Izuru wonders if they realize. If you just be one weight eventually the scale will tip too far or break and then what?

'You can't be strong forever, that weight will crush you and when there's no one around to forgive you it will take your life.'

Once they reached that point Izuru knew it was going to be the end of the Shuuhei and Renji he knows, he admires, he loves. They would slowly sink below and drown in their fake stability, they'd never be okay because they couldn't ask for help. Forever strong, forever stable. Those words were lies, everyone has weakness and things that get to them and Izuru found himself foolish for once believing in those words, no one is perfect. Despite how much Shuuhei and Renji tried to be, they could not perfect their soul, remove those harmful scars that lay on it. They would never stop the bleeding on their walls because Izuru knows they've both been trying, they need another opinion.

They need a savior.

Maybe it was cheesy but everyone needs a savior, he had been saved, saved from the darkness that would have killed him. Renji had no savior and Shuuhei seemed to be losing whatever it was that his savior had done for him. It was hard to hold on without a savior, Izuru didn't know why his savior had equipped him to still be saved, be alive, even without him. He didn't know why Shuuhei's savior was so stupid as to not give Shuuhei something of his own to believe in. The path they were headed down, Izuru was sure was going to end in self-destruction and no one would see it coming. Izuru's hand clenched and flexed, he could see it but he couldn't do anything, he's weak. One would say that all he could do was hope that someone would come save the two.

He didn't believe in hope though.

A/N: This is either a one shot that could turn into a fic or just stay at it is, I feel selfish for asking for messages if you want an actual story out of this. The idea I'm proposing is a bit weird because it has a more dominant Izuru and a more vulnerable Renji and Shuuhei. I don't think many people will like the idea or what I explore into, it will also be very angsty and more character exploring than actual plot-worthy. Maybe I'll be able to come up with something but that's very unlikely. Either way if you're curious you can just ask for a continuation, you can PM instead of a review with a simple "Please continue" no explanation needed for those who don't like writing reviews. I prefer PMs rather than reviews, reviews would make this small thing look good so… Either way, you can check my profile under "update:" to see if the status changes to a full story. Btw, the main pairing will be Shuuhei x Izuru x Renji.
Update: Fic is under construction and chapters will be added.

Translations:

Hai = Yes