Hello, friends!
I come to you all at 4AM on Christmas morning, bearing the gift of Lokane!
I hope it brings a smile to your face and warmth to your heart!
Please note: This is a Christmas-flavored companion piece to "The Royal Hangover Remedy", and I'd like to dedicate it to Selenite as a gift!
And of course, to all of you, who read or have read my stuffs: All of my love and gratitude; this fic is for you as well!
Merry Christmas!
I disclaim Thor, Pac-Man, and Coca-Cola. Maybe Santa could give me Thor, at least? Please? PLEASE?
She fought to keep her focus on the people around her from the moment they arrived, but the reality of where exactly they had arrived continued to harangue her.
Jane swirled a bit on the bar stool and could not help but let her eyes dart to the loud, incessant bulk that was the Pac-Man machine. Two Stark Industries employees that she vaguely recognized stood hovering over it, very probably intent on beating the latest record.
Good luck folks: I boosted that record in a drunken stupor. There's no telling how high it is…
She tore her blurring gaze away and forced herself to blink when she picked up on a signature hearty laugh from the opposite corner of the lounge.
Thor stood, drink in hand, teeth flashing brightly against the lights as he absorbed whatever mischievous humor Tony Stark was currently throwing at him. Nearby, she could make out Clint Barton and his partner, Natasha Romanoff, both smiling at the joke (what she supposed was a joke) as well.
People passed in front of her, often blocking her view of the group. A crowd of Stark employees, their dates, and a few select SHIELD members all stumbled about, drinks clanking as they toasted the coming New Year and the even closer Christmas Day.
Her eyes shot to a nearby wall clock; it was still several hours until Christmas Eve gave way to its more popular sibling, and the party her boss insisted on hosting here had only 'just begun'…..
Jane felt the cold of her own glass sting her palm. Looking down, a single cube of ice floated, and she realized she had barely touched any alcohol so far. She wondered, as she fingered the cold perspiration on the outside of the glass, if it had anything to do with the consequences of her last liquor-related adventure.
Another booming laugh jolted her, but she could not help but smile.
She was glad that Thor had returned to Earth to visit her, despite his coming coronation. She missed him, and it was good to see him enjoy her world and make friends.
But she wondered often- as she did tonight- if his visits would begin to become scarce as his responsibilities as King demanded his attention. They had not discussed it, really, due to a combination of his ventures between preparing for Kingship and aiding the Avengers, and her own reluctance to discuss their future as a….a….
To discuss them. Whatever it was that they were….
The sound of Thor's warm mirth brought her lips up again, but her smile was sad.
She wondered if he even noticed that she was alone at the bar….
She should have expected the night to go as it did.
Tony Stark and his "team of awesomeness" were never allowed to fully enjoy a holiday, and this one was no exception. They had been called away on Thanksgiving, too (right in the middle of Tony's egotistic speech about how everyone should be thankful for the Avengers), and it had kept the team away for two days straight. Thor had returned to SHIELD HQ, eaten cold leftovers, rejoiced at how amazing it was despite its lack of freshness, and promptly departed to Asgaard.
Tonight, Jane watched as Clint Barton moved away from the crowd, discussed something with Agent Coulson (who was busily mumbling into a cell phone) and then proceeded to gather the scattered team members with restrained haste.
And so, the life of the party died as Thor bid her a remorseful farewell, being brutally honest in his informing her that the Avengers would spend Christmas morning across the Earth, settling a rather nasty threat from a collective of terrorists who had apparently received some early gifts of Stark Industries weapons technology from Evil Santa.
She sat in place at the bar, unmoving as the group left with their SHIELD allies in tow.
It did not take long for the rest of the guests to realize that their jovial host was missing, along with anyone and everyone who made this particular Christmas party interesting. Thirty minutes after the departure of the Avengers and Co., the lounge was nearly silent. Two of the big screen televisions blasted some rather un-Stark-like holiday music, and two people remained in the large area with her.
Pepper Potts and Stark's driver, Happy Hogan, walked about the room gathering trash.
Jane shook her head and attempted to stop feeling sorry for herself.
"Pepper? Need any help?"
Red hair snapped through the air as Pepper looked at her, and a hand sporting an insanely large diamond ring raised to run through it.
"Huh? Oh, no, that's alright, Jane. We're just getting the beer bottles up. Stay there and enjoy your drink!"
Jane smirked a little as the diamond glinted brightly in the lights. For the first time that night, she thought of Loki. If she ever saw him again, she would need to tell him the results of Tony's drunken proposal….
She had found it quite sweet of Happy to ask her, multiple times, if she needed a ride home before finally giving in to her adamant assurances that she had barely consumed any alcohol whatsoever.
Pepper in turn had offered to hang around for company, but again, Jane was convincing in her quiet argument.
She just wanted a bit of time alone, and the overstuffed reclining chairs across the room looked very inviting….
If only her legs weren't so numb.
She had been sitting in the same spot on that barstool for hours, two mostly-full glasses of vodka and Coke nearing room temperature and mocking her new fear of intoxication.
Swirling a bit towards the bar, she propped her elbows up on the counter and proceeded to lower her head, a dull thump sounding as her skull met the smooth, cool surface between the amber glasses.
Eyes closed, and she considered the fact that it was after midnight, and she was alone on Christmas. Forcing back self-pity once again, she scowled against the counter.
She should be worrying for Thor's safety instead of her own loneliness.
Dark hair and green eyes flashed behind her closed lids briefly and she jerked her head up a bit.
She could not help but also wonder about his loneliness…
Jane rocked in her seat absently, moving her legs in mid-air to get blood back to them.
Get up, Jane. That's the only way you'll actually get to the recliner.
Laziness shied away at her determination, and she swirled the stool back around.
The first thing she noticed was the freshly cut, neatly slicked black hair as the head it adorned looked down at something.
The second was that that something was a book, held in pale hands against a propped up leg in the chair.
Loki paid her no mind until she stood.
Numb legs pooled with blood, and Jane took at hesitant step toward her visitor (or was he just visiting the lounge?).
Those green eyes flicked up from whatever they were reading and met hers.
"Finished dozing, Jane Foster?"
She tilted her head and reflexively pursed her lips at him.
"I wasn't sleeping."
"Sure."
Jane watched as he gave her a strange, small grin and returned his attention to the book.
Taking his actions as a sign that his presence held no malicious intent, she allowed her legs to carry her closer as she felt a renewed energy and alertness overtook her. Coming to stand just behind an opposite chair, she noted that despite her own self-assurances that he did not come to harm her, she was still using that chair to protect herself.
"Um….what are you doing?"
"Reading. Do you do so little of it that you cannot recognize the act?"
Now that's just being an ass, Loki.
"Funny. I mean, what are you reading?"
Long, elegant fingers froze in the middle of turning a page, and he raised his head again to study her.
"I'm learning about this holiday your people seem so enthralled by tonight."
Jane shook her head and wondered if she had heard him right.
"You…you're reading up on Christmas?"
"Yes. I found this tome on the origins and practice of the holiday in one of the city's libraries."
"Wait. I'm sorry. You went to a library?"
"I did."
"And you what, applied for a library card and checked out a book?"
"Of course not."
"So….you stole it."
"Correct."
"You stole a book. From a library."
"Yes."
"Right."
Why did such a thing not seem strange to her?
Maybe because this is Loki we're talking about?
Jane could not help but laugh a bit, earning her a curious expression from her companion. As the lingering feelings of caution seemed to fade, she found herself easing around the back of the chair and considering the idea of sitting in it.
Meeting Loki's eyes as he watched her, she saw them narrow and stopped moving.
"It is no laughing matter, Miss Foster. I for one do not find this celebration amusing."
She leaned against the side of the chair then, admittedly confused.
"It's…it's Christmas, Loki. Everyone loves Christmas! Can I ask why you've decided to hate it?"
"Its practice involves blatantly lying to your children."
"….Oh." And in that moment, Loki had effectively shut down what was left of her holiday spirit.
She had heard of Loki's true origins from Thor, had heard him tell the tale that he in turn had heard from his parents, about Loki's 'adoption' into the Asgaardian royal family, and how devastated the young prince had been to learn of his true nature.
And how enraged he was that his father had spent a lifetime keeping it from him.
Jane moved, determinedly this time, and sat in the cushioned chair directly across from Loki.
"It's…that's….okay, it's not quite the same concept, Loki." Green eyes flashed at her then, before darkening visibly. But a slight nod of his head told her that he was listening, and was willing to hear her.
"It's innocent, you see. Yes, parents lie to their kids about it all, about Santa and the reindeer and the chimney, but it's part of the spirit of the holiday. The children enjoy it, and for much of their childhoods they have fun believing in this story….and parents enjoy it too."
The book had been closed by the time she'd finished, and those pretty fingers (and when exactly had she decided they were pretty?) were laced together as he listened intently.
"I see. And what happens when the children realize that their 'Santa Claus' is not real at all, and their parents have been feeding them useless lies for so many years?"
Jane shook her head at the ice in his voice.
"Not so many years, Loki. I think most children find out sometime in their early teenage years, and really, I don't think it devastates them all too much. They still continue to receive presents, after all."
"But how do you know? You do not have children, do you?"
Okay, when did we start talking about me, exactly?
"Um, no, I don't."
"Hm. Do you want to?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you wish to be a mother someday?"
Jane leaned back against the hulking comfort of the recliner, hoping it would do her the favor of swallowing her into a cushioned abyss. She avoided the piercing gaze she felt on her and ignored the obvious amusement that seemed to crackle in the air with the quick change in Loki's mood.
If she knew anything about psychology or aliens, or alien psychology, she would think he had some extraterrestrial form of ADD.
"I, uh…well….maybe. I'd like to. One day."
"With Thor?"
"What? Ah….I don't...I don't know. We're not…we haven't…."
"Discussed it?"
"Yeah. That."
Her chest was tight now, and she felt that gaze boring into her, searching for something.
Somehow, she knew that he knew that she and Thor had not become intimate with their relationship. She also knew that he knew that she worried if they ever would, with the prince coming so close to ruling a faraway world as King.
Her eyes finally dared to land on him and she found his eyebrows quirked just slightly, a combination of lingering amusement mixing with something that she could not pinpoint.
Concern? Compassion? Empathy?
She felt her neck grow warm beneath his eyes, and the sudden silence made her question her decision not to immediately dash from the lounge the moment she'd realized he was there.
Abruptly, he leaned forward, a finger tapping the cover of the book with purpose.
"Did you know that Odin was one of the influences for your 'Santa Claus'?"
Jane blinked, her tight chest loosening and her brain likewise struggling to comprehend his question.
"Oh…uh, no…I didn't know that."
"Ironic, yes?"
"I guess it is…."
She watched as he glanced down at the thick book, a pensive expression drawing his brows together. But as sudden as it had come, it vanished, and Loki stood from the chair to tower above her.
Jane felt her body jerk in surprise at his quick, fluid movement, and as he took the few short steps to stand in front of her chair, her head raced with chaos. Her rational mind told her he was still the being that brought an intense threat to the world, to the universe itself, even….
But her gut told her that he would not hurt her this night. Just as he had not the last night she had seen him.
Jane leaned back a bit as an arm reached out, and she realized in her clarity that he was holding the book out to her.
"Would you be so kind as to return this for me? I took it from the smaller library near your apartment."
Jane craned her head up at him as she took it from his grasp.
"And what were you doing in my neighborhood?"
"Why, looking for a library, of course…"
She smiled then, and so did he.
Loki stepped away, gesturing toward the large doors.
"I thought you should know, Stark's driver is in the lobby, waiting for you to come out. I believe he feels a sense of duty to ensure that you make it home safely."
"How sweet of him."
"I was going to say 'noble'. "
"Ah."
Cradling the book in her arm, Jane stood from the recliner and watched Loki scan the room before nodding at her curtly.
"Well, I suppose this party of Stark's is quite disappointing, wouldn't you say? Much like the holiday it was intended to celebrate." She heard the hint of bitterness drop into his words, but noted the grin he maintained nonetheless.
"Watch it, Loki. Christmas happens to be my favorite holiday."
Receiving what appeared to be an impressed arch of a brow, Jane felt her smile consume her as he bowed dramatically.
"My apologies. I suggest you run along then, Stark's lackey is waiting. And no doubt, Thor will return to you when he is through playing 'hero' to celebrate your beloved holiday with you…."
Jane did not have time to come up with a snide retort as Loki flashed from existence in the room, a green, visible static crackling the air where he had once stood.
She hefted book in her arm and returned to the bar for her purse.
She decided she would read it before going to sleep.
She had barely slept, and as the light flooded her vision Jane knew that the causes were many:
She was worried about Thor.
She was worried about Tony Stark.
She was worried about the rest of the team.
Her brain had refused to shut down after reading the fascinating book Loki had given her.
And of course, despite all the denial she threw at herself, she knew….
She was kept awake by her many (and mostly random) thoughts of him.
Sitting up, she could tell the Thor had not yet retuned from his mission. His side of the bed had not been touched, and the wood-like scent that always accompanied him was missing from the room.
Jane bent backwards and stretched her arms above her head.
Frowning slightly, she looked around her empty bedroom.
"Merry Christmas, me."
Her bottom lip pouted a bit and she almost wanted to laugh at herself.
And then, something alien and colorful caught the corner of her vision. Jane straightened and leaned over the side of her bed to peer at the lamp table. Sitting atop the old, worn, thick book was a familiar bag of gummy bears, a white piece of paper folded just beside it.
She wasted no time in snatching the note, unfolding it quickly. In what she would call perfectly neat cursive, the message made her eyes want to water:
Jane Foster,
In the spirit of your 'favorite holiday', I offer these gifts:
A bag of gummy bears, and a promise to refrain from destroying the universe. Doing so would very likely ruin your chances of becoming a mother.
A Merry Christmas, little mortal,
-Loki.
P.S: This does not entirely remove Asgaard or Thor from my 'naughty list'.
Jane re-folded the note and ducked her head instinctively, hiding her broad smile and tearing eyes.
Even Loki, it seemed, was not immune to the giving nature that Christmas brought forth in all.
And only she would know the rare kindness that he hid from the world.
Again, a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to you all!