When Naruto was little, he didn't really understand how families worked. He'd learned about the basic structure, but that didn't explain the fine details. Like what made Shikamaru listen to his mother, but not his father, why Kiba was allowed to ignore what his sister asked him to do, but not his mother. What made an old man an 'honored grandfather', why did he deserve respect? There was nothing particularly honorable about any of them, not like Hokage-jiji. The whole system was foreign to him. It was one of those kinds of things that people learned instinctively. With no example, Naruto was pretty much clueless.
That is not to say that Naruto had no family. He just made it himself. But it wasn't the same. Naruto didn't respect Iruka-sensei or Kaka-sensei because they were older than him, that didn't make any sense. He respected them because they were powerful and fair and kind, and because they respected him. But the whole family thing of parents and siblings and cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles? Naruto didn't really get it. And clan politics? that was even more confusing.
Sometimes on Sasuke's good days, he let slip what it was like to have a clan, to have a family. Sakura didn't understand, her family was civilian. Naruto didn't either, his clan was long gone, his homeland razed and in ruins. There were no temples to pray at, no graves to mourn, no memories to hold dear. But Sasuke remembered what it was like to belong, to be a part of something bigger. Naruto would die and kill for Konoha, but there were limits. He valued the people, not the concepts. Sasuke, on his good days when his eyes were clouded with something more like sadness than anger, told them what it was like, having other people depend on you, having others' expectations resting on your shoulders, having your life controlled by other people.
It sounded terrible. It sounded amazing.
But Hinata grew up with that. She didn't know a life without the oppressive eyes of her clan watching her every move. She didn't learn to idolize it, like Sasuke had, who had only known the clan and the sudden gaping emptiness which was the lack of a clan. She knew it, inside and out, the good and the bad. Sasuke knew what it was like to belong, to be recognized. Hinata knew what it was like to be owned, to be subservient to. She knew what it was like to be swallowed by her family name, knew people who heard it and didn't listen longer to hear her personal name.
I own you, the Hyuuga name seemed to say. You are forever mine, forever belonging to me. No matter how far you run, it will never be enough.
I am my own person she wanted to shout sometimes.
"You are Hinata." her father had acknowledged. "but you will always be Hyuuga first."
That probably wasn't meant to sound so much like a death sentence. Probably.
But it was true. She was born Hinata, but she had Hyuuga in her blood. Hyuuga was more than a family, more than a clan, it was a legacy weighing heavy on her shoulder and her tongue, making itself known with every decision, every word, every battle fought.
These eyes are a gift, your birthright is a gift. This is a debt you will never repay.
It didn't actually become an issue until Naruto and Hinata got engaged. It was cute- there were pretty flowers, beautiful music, and maybe even a billboard or two (in retrospect, Naruto probably should not have taken Lee's advice on that one).
It was romantic, heart-warming, and vaguely uncomfortable for everyone in the immediate area. In other words, it was all Hinata had ever hoped for. The issue, when it occurred, was several hours later, while they sat on a bench in the park, when the quartet had left, the flower petals had stopped falling from the sky, and the billboards depicting Naruto and Hinata at a romantic beach scene were... still there (and they would continue to be for the next month. Again, probably shouldn't have taken Lee's advice).
Specifically, it was when Naruto, giddy on love, rested his head on Hinata's shoulder, and whispered, almost to himself, "you're going to be my wife" in a soft voice that was half elation, half wonder.
Hinata stiffened. Maybe Naruto wouldn't have noticed it if his head wasn't on her shoulder, but when he sat up and looked into her eyes, there was hesitance and displeasure mixed into the post-engagement bliss.
"What?" he asked, nervous and defensive.
She mumbled something, too quiet for Naruto to understand, even though he was sitting right next to her.
"What?" he repeated, louder this time, still nervous, more uncertain this time.
"I'm not yours. I don't belong to you." Her voice was louder this time. "I don't belong to anyone." Hinata said, her quiet voice firm with something like pride.
Naruto doesn't understand.
But when he asked her to explain, she couldn't.
In times of need and confusion, most people seek comfort in friends, and ninjas are no different. This was Naruto and Hinata's first real fight, and they had no idea how to deal with it. Naruto, weary of Lee's advice, and too smart to seek out Sai's, used Sasuke as a sound board, bouncing ideas off his teammate's non-responsive bitch face. It was a system that worked both for Naruto, who was used to being the only one talking anyway, and for Sasuke, who was thankful to not be required to offer any useful input.
Naruto didn't understand the problem.
The concept of marriage delighted him. Belonging to someone, being tied to someone, depending on someone and having them depend on you? It all sounded great to Naruto, who had always had to rely on himself. it sounded like never being lonely again, it sounded like family. It was family. Naruto, who had never belonged to a clan, didn't understand what had made Hinata so upset. There was no prior connotation, no bad feelings associated with the idea of family. He wanted a clan. He wanted a family, one that could be his, belonging to him, one that he could belong to.
Didn't Hinata understand how much that meant to him? How much she meant to him?
She did, right?
The more Naruto thought about it, the less he was sure of. She had agreed to marry him, hadn't she? Didn't that count for anything? She wasn't just being nice, right? He had thought she had gotten over much of her shyness, but maybe not. Maybe she just didn't want to embarrass him in front of everyone. She had always been too kind of her own good. What was really going on here?
It just made Naruto miserable, his logic turning circles in his brain, not really sure of anything. It would be a long night for Naruto, his uncertain questions echoing around and around long after Sasuke had snuck away. In the morning, he would seek the company of his other teammates, and see if they were more helpful
Hinata, somewhere on the other side of Konoha, had also sought out the company of others. She went to Ino, who gave her advice on how to talk to men, and then to Sakura, who gave her advice on how to talk to Naruto.
It wasn't a problem with Naruto. On the contrary, she had loved him for as long as she had known him, and that first crush had evolved from infatuation to a strong bond of love. No, it wasn't Naruto. It wasn't even the concept of marriage. She was ready to be a wife.
As Naruto questioned himself, Hinata was doing the same, wondering if she had overreacted and ruined everything. She didn't mean to make such a big deal of it, and Naruto wouldn't have even noticed if he hadn't been resting on her shoulder. It wasn't all that big of a deal right? She hadn't ruined everything. Naruto would drop it, everything would be fine.
She hoped.
See, it wasn't either of their faults. Neither one could have seen this coming, could have predicted how differently the other would reacted.
Hinata had grown up feeling suffocated by her family. She had grown up with eyes always on her back, with a family name that swallowed her whole, with people looking at her and seeing Hiashi's daughter, seeing the Hyuuga's heir.
"I don't belong to anyone." They were words that Hinata had always wanted to say, but they weren't true. From birth, she was not her own. This way the way clans work, especially bloodline clans. She belonged to her family, to her elders, to her father. She had belonged to her duties, to her responsibilities, to her legacy. It had been trouble enough to convince her father not to through a fit over the relationship. She didn't want to go from being controlled by one man to being controlled by another. It wasn't the same, she knew it wasn't the same. But it still made her feel uncomfortable and nervous and awkward and everything she was trying to work on. It brought up the dark parts of her she didn't want to remember, the parts that felt crushed and small and weak.
Hinata didn't want to feel that way, didn't want for Naruto to make her feel that way.
But Hinata, being a completely reasonable, logical, and intelligent young kunoichi, took the most reasonable action for someone in her position. She talked with Sakura.
So in the morning, when Naruto arrived at Sakura's door, despondent and upset, Sakura had already heard Hinata's side of the story, and was fully equipped to deliver a hearty bonk on the head to her dopey teammate. But he looked so miserable, she took pity on him, and explained the issue.
She had done enough work setting the two up, damn it, Sakura didn't want one fight breaking them up.
Naruto, terrified that he was going to lose Hinata, followed Sakura's instructions to the letter.
He took her out to dinner. He wore nice clothes. There were absolutely no billboards involved.
She wore a pretty dress, and her smile was beautiful, and the time was right.
Naruto leaned in and offered to be hers.
Naruto didn't fully understand, not really.
(They make it work anyway)