Standard fanfic disclaimer that wouldn't last ten seconds in a court of law: These aren't my characters. I'm just borrowing them for, um, typing practice. Yeah, that's it, typing practice. This is an amateur work of fiction; no profit was made from its writing or publication. Based on characters and situations created by Marvel Comics, Kenneth Johnson, Joss Whedon, et al. Originally published in the fanzine Grimmoire #3 by Ashton Press.
Mishap in Sunnydale
The Incredible Hulk/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
by Susan M. M.
printed in Grimmoire #3
Sunnydale, California, November, 1984
"Thanks for the ride," David Banner said as he got out of the blue '73 AMC Ambassador.
"No problem," the driver replied. "Good luck with the job."
David waved his thanks. Hitchhiking was his primary means of transportation; he had learned to depend on "the kindness of strangers." In his late thirties or early forties, he was a stereotypically good-looking man: tall, dark-haired, and blue-eyed.
He looked at the complex of buildings behind him. UC Sunnydale, the smallest branch of the University of California. Adjusting his backpack, he went looking for a map or a directory.
Ten minutes later, he stood in front of a secretary in the science building. "Excuse me. I'm David Benson," he lied. "Would it be possible for me to make an appointment with Dr. Rose Morgan?"
The secretary shook her head. "Not for several weeks."
"She's that busy?"
"She's aboard the SS Boudicca, teaching with the Semester at Sea program," the secretary explained.
David frowned. "I read her article on the effect of gamma radiation on cells. I was hoping to discuss her research with her."
"I can forward a letter to her next port of call," the secretary offered.
David thought a minute. "That's very kind of you." The university could make a radio-telephone call to the ship in an emergency, of course, but from their point of view, a total stranger wanting to discuss Dr. Morgan's research on gamma radiation was not an emergency. To David it was a little more important. He gave the secretary a weak smile. "I'll write her a letter and come back to you."
"Okay." She returned her attention to her work, clearly considering the matter closed.
David politely excused himself and left the office. This threw all his plans out of whack. He'd intended to try to get a job at the school - dishwasher at the cafeteria, lab tech, janitor - anything to give him access to Dr. Morgan and her lab. If he dared use his own name, the university would probably welcome him with open arms as a guest lecturer. But since David Banner was assumed to be dead, that wasn't possible. Revealing that he was still alive would raise awkward questions, not only about the Hulk, but about the death of Dr. Elaina Marks. Until he could control or exorcise the Hulk, David Banner would need to remain dead.
David thought as he walked across campus. The secretary had said that Dr. Morgan wouldn't be available for several weeks. Therefore, she had only signed on with the Semester at Sea program for one semester; then she would be returning to UC Sunnydale. It was November. There wasn't much of the semester left. Rather than wandering aimlessly, it might be better to stay in Sunnydale and wait for her. If he could get hired on campus, he might be able to get access to her lab or office while she was gone. Ship's cabins didn't have much storage space; she had probably left her research notes behind.
He felt something wet fall on his head. He looked up, and was relieved to see dark clouds rather than a pigeon. Another raindrop fell, then another. David hurried to the nearest building, the university library. It would be a safe, dry haven until the rain ended.
Thunder roared. Lightning flashed. David made it to the refuge of the library just as the sprinkle turned to a downpour. With a wry smile, he quoted Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott. "It'll gie me a chance to catch up on m' technical journals."
Several hours later, a growling stomach dragged David away from the library. It wasn't often he had the opportunity to read recent issues The Journal of Physiology and Biochemistry or The American Journal of Physics. Normally, the best he could manage to find was a back issue of Scientific American. Avoiding puddles, he made his way to the university cafeteria, where he got a cup of coffee and a ham and cheese sandwich labelled 'yesterday's sandwich' on sale for half price. By the time he left the cafeteria, it was growing dark.
He started walking, having asked directions to find a cheap motel. He was grateful the old man he had hitched a ride with a few days ago had insisted on stuffing some money into his backpack.[1] It meant he could rent a motel room instead of looking for a bridge to sleep under. Even in southern California, November was too cold to sleep rough.
It was two miles to the area he'd been advised to try, but he was used to walking. He was surprised by how deserted the streets were on a Thursday. It seemed like everyone in Sunnydale was at home tonight. The streets were as dark and empty as if it were midnight, instead of barely past seven.
David shrugged. Maybe there was an especially good football game on TV tonight.
He had only gone a little over half a mile when strong hands grabbed him and pulled him into an alley. He was forced against a brick wall. Two men pressed him against the wall, one holding either arm. Two other men stood in front of him. Their faces were pale, but they were inhumanly strong, like PCP addicts.
"I don't have any money," David fibbed. He didn't lie deliberately. He was simply so used to his wallet being empty that he took it for granted.
"We're not after your money," one said.
"Speak for yourself, Charlie. I could use some pocket change," another said.
"I'm hungry. We're wasting time," a third complained. Suddenly, his face transmogrified. His features shifted, taking on an inhuman visage. The other three quickly followed suit. Their teeth had changed as well as their faces. They had fangs now.
Fangs.
Eighty-five percent of David was terrified at the sight, and justly so. Fifteen percent of him wondered what they'd done, how they'd done it, and whether or not it was similar to his transformation when he became the Hulk.
His captors pushed him against the wall even harder, banging his head against the bricks. As Charlie and another one held him, the one who'd announced he was hungry attacked David's neck. Sharp fangs sunk into his jugular vein.
Ever since an accidental overdose of gamma radiation some years ago, whenever David Banner felt pain, whenever he grew angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurred. He was now angry, frightened, and in pain. He metamorphosized. His blue eyes turned green. His muscles began to expand. The seams of his clothing strained, then gave way, tearing and falling off his back. The skin revealed by the now-absent shirt was green. His smooth, neatly combed hair grew rough and thick, turning a dull shade of green-tinged black. He grew bigger, taller, stronger.
Much stronger.
The creature the National Register had nicknamed "the Incredible Hulk" growled. He threw his captors to the ground. One landed on a two by four with a sharp corner, and disintegrated into a cloud of dust. The Hulk grabbed the vampire closest to him, picked him up, and threw him against a trash can.
The trash can clattered to the pavement with a loud, metallic clang. The vampire scrambled to his feet and ran.
"What kind of a demon are you?" Charlie demanded.
The Hulk reached out one hand, and swatted Charlie. He tumbled into a puddle.
"Do you know who we are?" the other vampire asked, with more bravado than brains.
The Hulk roared. He took a step toward the vampire. The vampire took two steps back.
Charlie, meanwhile, had risen from the damp alley. He watched, wide-eyed, as the Hulk reached forward and shoved his nest-mate to the ground.
"What is this thing?" the vampire cried out. He would have soiled his pants, had he still been capable of such bodily functions.
"I don't know. Let's get out of here!" Charlie fled. His nest-mate rose awkwardly to his feet and followed him.
The Hulk roared again. He looked around. The vampires were all gone from the alley.
The vampire who called himself 'The Master' scoffed at his minions' report. He was an ugly demon, resembling the Nosferatu from the German silent movie far more than Michael Nouri or Frank Langella.
"You're acting like a Slayer was in town." The Master snorted. "As if a Slayer would dare come to the Hellmouth. Your cowardice offends me." He reached into a ceramic vase beside his throne and pulled out an oaken stake. "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe." He tossed the stake at one of the kneeling minions at random.
His victim disintegrated into a cloud of dust. None of the other vampires dared say anything. The Master controlled them, commanded them, and had the right to destroy them if they displeased him.
"Get out of here. You disgust me."
The two remaining survivors of the Hulk's attack scrambled to their feet and hurried to leave the Master's presence. The rest of his unholy court had the sense to remain silent, and not draw his attention to them.
David woke up. He had no idea what happened, beyond the fact he had obviously transformed again, given the state of his clothes and the fact he was waking up in a cold, damp alley. He thought he remembered monsters attacking him, then wondered if that had been a dream, perhaps a nightmare caused by food poisoning from eating a day old sandwich.
He sighed. If he had transformed into the Hulk again, it was probably safer to move on rather than stay in Sunnydale and wait for Rose Morgan. He wondered where he should go next. He wondered if he'd ever find a cure for his curse.
Author's Note: at the time this story takes place, Buffy Summers is a few months shy of her fourth birthday and still living in Los Angeles. This story is a sequel to "The Hitchhiker," published in Of Dreams and Schemes #23, and posted at FanFiction-dot-net and AO3. By the way, both Edgar Benedek of Shadow Chasers and Jack McGee of The Incredible Hulk wrote for The National Register.
Dr. David Banner: physician; scientist. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry. And now when David Banner grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter. [Banner:] "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." The creature is wanted for a murder he didn't commit. David Banner is believed to be dead, and he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.
[1] "The Hitchhiker," in Of Dreams and Schemes #23