My life turned around after my daughter was born. I felt happy again after that emotional rough patch I had gone through during my pregnancy. It was all worth it when Dr. Reynolds placed her in my arms. I couldn't believe it: her. I had a daughter and oh my god, she was beautiful.

This baby girl has been the biggest blessing of my life so far and that's saying a lot because I can realize again how blessed I've been throughout my life. Jean Louise Finch brought me back to my husband, Atticus. She looks like him and call me crazy but I see her father's spirit in her already. I know that she is my gift from him and that knowing has just deepened my love for my husband that I didn't think could get much deeper. She has made me want to be a better mother to my son, Jem. I pray that he didn't realize what a mess I was before she came and if he did, I pray that he will come to accept me as a new mother. Yes, a new mother; I promise him and I promise her that I will be more present, more loving, more joyous. That has been the greatest miracle all of all: she has brought me back to myself.

With Jean Louise's arrival, Calpurnia has taken on full-time hours. She is truly another blessing because I will admit that I can really use her help. Take a baby with all her feedings and diaper changes along with trying to keep up with a four year old and I just don't think I could do it on my own like I used to. It was always hard not having Atticus with me because of all the crazy hours he has to work but now I can see how hard it must be on him. I'm sure he would like to stay home and enjoy being here while our babies are still so small. He is able to provide for our family in ways that a lot of our fellow townspeople cannot and just that in of itself is a huge blessing to our children. I'm sure they will understand when they grow up.

I still go out on the swing at twilight when I put our children to bed. I look up at the sky and admire all the colors that come with the sunet. I look back at my husband and the way the fading sun sets on his handsome face when he reads his newspaper. I hear the crickets and the peeper frogs out in the distance and the sounds bring me peace. I used to ask, "Why, God?", but now I say, "Thank you, God." Thank you, God, you are so good.

"Mind if I join you?" Atticus asks me.

"You know I don't," I tell him as I make room for him.

"I've been meaning to tell you something," he said as he gruffed and took my hand. I wonder what in the world he wants to tell me.

"What is it?" I ask him as I put my other hand on top of his.

"It's a miracle."

"What is?"

"I'm talking about you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you're back to your old self again," he said as he kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry you had to watch me go through that. It must have been really hard."

"It was hard. I didn't know how to help you."

"I had to help myself, honey."

I was trying my hardest not to cry. I honestly had no idea how badly affected he was by my behavior until he said that to me. He told me everyday that I was all right and everything was all right but I shut him out everytime. I can realize that now but back then I was so full of darkness that I couldn't see how badly I obviously was hurting him.

"I really was listening, though," I began again. "When you would tell me I was all right. I heard you."

"Like I said, I didn't know what to do."

"Believe me, Atticus. That was enough. You don't understand the way you get through to me, do you?"

He let go of my hand and scooped me up into a bear hug. I never felt so wanted, so needed by my husband than I did in that moment. I began to cry tears of joy and gratitude for this moment unfolding.

"Thank you for being my husband," I whispered in his ear.

"Thank you for being my wife," he whispered in mine.