Lisbon's POV - totally fluffy...
I want to touch him, to brush his hand when we are next to each other. And I want to smile. So much that It hurts. He doesn't realise it but he is the best piece of ass I've ever known, or even seen. And I got to call him my boyfriend. Not in public yet.
I want to keep him for myself only. The first 2 weeks we had together have been a dream. He is so protective and gentleman with me. He always has been but not to that level of cuteness. It's almost impossible to bear. My heart just wants to explode every time he smiles at me. Before he told me he loved me, it was a mixture of pain and comfort. I was hopeful and heart-broken at the same time. Having the sensation that he reserved those smiles only for me was making me feel blessed but knowing that behind that happy facade he was grieving for his family and that he probably could never love again was crushing me.
Now I know he cares for me, that I am his. I'm well aware of his ring still on his finger but I accept that. I know he loves me and that his ring is not preventing him from loving me. I thought that in the past but now I understand that it's a reminder of his past life. It is part of his identity and I accept him fully. Sometimes I cannot help but hope that someday I'll be on his finger too. I don't want to force him tough. If it never happens, I'll live with it (or without should I say). He's too important for me to risk pressurising him into something he's not ready for. It's like for our intimacy...
Since we've kissed for the time, we've mainly spent our time hugging and touching. He even tickled me. But we haven't made love yet. It's been almost a month now. Our relationship is so much more than a physical expression of affection. It's a communion of minds. Sure, I want him to be my lover in every sense of the term but for now it's enough. We are in love. We were friends for 12 years and now we are a couple. It's difficult to handle. I don't want to burst into flames and realise after our first night together that now that the sexual tension is gone, our attraction was purely physical. I cherish every moment with him. Every step that we are taking together will bring us closer to a married-like life. I cannot imagine living my life without him. It's too painful to even think about it. I almost lost him with Marcus. I don't want to risk that again. So we're gonna take out time.
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