Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara or any of its characters, but I do own this storyline.
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In The Process Of Breaking
My Loveless Melody
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Chapter One: Unbreakable
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In such a large house, it feels like I'm all alone. I very well know that there are servants living in this house, but my boyfriend, Tsukiyomi Ikuto, made sure that I did not see them, speak to them, hear them, or any other kind of contact. He wanted me isolated.
No one except him even knows I exist in this world. My parents have either long forgotten me, or just never bothered to come see me. Not that they would be allowed to anyways.
I wasn't forced to stay this way. I had full freedom to leave if that was what I wanted. But I didn't.
Couldn't.
My feelings just wouldn't allow me to. I don't know why I stayed either. He told me I could go, but to never come back to him if I did. So I stayed for him. But he's never here. He never comes home. This house is more like my home than his. It's not a wonder he doesn't come home. I wouldn't be surprised if he was cheating on me, and I know for a fact that he goes around screwing other girls. He didn't even bother to deny it.
He took me when I interested him, and now he threw me away. I still love him, but only a strand of hope permits me to think that he still loves me.
I gave up everything for him. My friends, my family, my dreams, and I even dropped out of high school because he told me to. He finished university and became a famous violinist in his own company, Easter. I would give the world for him and he knows it. Or at least I thought he did.
I threw away my life for him, and now I'm worthless. Yet I can't bring myself to regret anything but falling so deeply in love with him.
He never comes home, but just to keep my hopes alive, I always make dinner for him. The servants usually take it away before I wake up. It indicated that Ikuto didn't touch it.
Just like everyday, I would make dinner for him today too.
I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, but not before stopping at the front door, the only thing separating me and the rest of the world. Standing there, I stayed silent and then moved on to the kitchen.
Food had been spread out across the table like every other day by the silent servants. It's what they do. They take care of me from a distance. Because that's what they've been ordered to do.
I whipped up a small dinner for Ikuto since he probably already ate if he decides to come home. Wrapping it in cling wrap, I left it on the dining table for him. Without bothering to make something for myself as well, I returned to my room.
At 8:00 everyday, my own dinner would be left outside my room by the servants. Silently, without a trace of human-life ever occurring there except for a tray of food. That was how things worked around here.
I waited the rest of today for him, without a single complaint. I chose this, so I'll carry through. Like always, he didn't come. So I fell asleep like that. By myself. On the bed that felt his warmth a long time ago. Where I had felt his warmth, when he used to tell me that he loved me.
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I woke up in the morning, on natural instincts. No light from no windows, no alarm clock, no servants, and most definitely not Ikuto. I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't let myself. I wanted to be strong. For him. But it wasn't that easy.
Some other girl out there is lucky to have Ikuto next to her when she woke up.
But I sucked it up and dealt with it. I have no right to complain. I have to follow through with my decision no matter what.
I got up and did what I do every morning. Brush my teeth, showered, and got dressed in the clothes prepared for me by the silent servants. A long white skirt and a pink tank top were draped on my bed.
I dressed myself quickly; ready to endure another day alone, in the home of my beloved.
Quietly, I went to the dining room and checked the food I had laid out. Like always, the dishes were gone and the plates were carefully placed back into the cupboards. He, of course, did not come back last night.
I sighed. I couldn't help but wish I had held on tighter when I still had him. I took granted of being of interest to him and I didn't think how easy it was to lose him.
He was smart, rich, and talented. Not to mention immensely pleasing to the eye.
And then there was me. Useless, horribly educated, jobless, a freeloader in her boyfriend's house, and utterly infatuated with someone who's never going to love her again. I wasn't even particularly beautiful or anything.
My golden honey eyes that had caught his attention when I had first met him had dulled over after I lost him.
I hate myself. Why am I like this? He was such a player and I knew this would happen. I was prepared for this. I was so sure I was. And now I'm here. Almost a year later. Still waiting for him.
He never smiled for me. It was always a mysterious smirk. He never failed to embarrass me. But he knew how to make me feel like I had the world in my hands. He was such an asshole sometimes. And he never said 'sorry'. Though I would always find myself forgiving him.
I wonder sometimes how I fell in love with someone like him.
Someone so different from myself.
Someone so perfect.
So unreal.
And a pain in the ass.
It's so easy to fall in love, but falling out of love proves to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to face in my life.
I couldn't hold on to him. It's all my fault. Because I'm not good enough for him...
How I wish to have him hold and caress me like before. But I'm not stupid. I know that he won't be back. I know that. Though I can't leave, because I'll never be able to bear the thought of letting him go entirely.
I wish someone would help me. Help me out of out of this world. Help me forget him. Help me leave my heart behind.
But even if I'm this hurt, I know what I feel for him is unbreakable.
Tomoyo: This chapter is boring as hell and really short. It's just a ramble dedicated to Amu's feelings so you understand her character in my fanfiction. Cause honestly, she's pretty different here from the anime. It'll be way better when Ikuto comes in, so please just bear with me while it's still boring! This story is currently rated T, but chances are, I'm gonna start writing lemon and then it'll be rated M. I'd love to hear any ideas, opinions, grammar/spelling mistakes, constructive criticism or even something random about my story. Just place it all in a review and send it to me! :3
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Anime: D Gray-Man
My recent addiction! It's really good though I know it was out a long time ago. The characters are awesome and everything's so unexpected. If you get bored, go check it out. 8D