One. Two. Three. Four.
The fire in Ochako's muscles ached as she strained against the barbell, but she pushed herself through the pain with deep, measured breaths.
Five. Six. Seven. Eight.
She found solace in the cadence of her exercise, revelling in the burning sensation that slowly spread through her arms and lungs. She had learned to appreciate the heat, using it to drive herself forward.
Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
The burning ache grew more intense, but she resisted her urge to use her quirk and end the routine. She had never lifted this much weight before, but she needed to keep improving. She had to if she wanted to be more like —
She stomped down hard on the thought. Not the time.
Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.
"Just...a little...bit...more," she muttered to herself under her breath, fighting desperately to maintain her rhythm. She was thankful there were few people around the indoor fitness facility this late at night. As much as she enjoyed working out with her friends, she felt an increasing need to keep a more single-minded focus during her routine.
Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.
"Twenty!" she gasped out, tapping the bar with her fingertip and making it weightless. She gently lifted it back onto the rack before bringing her fingers together. "And release," she managed to pant out, taking large gulps of air to try to cool the heat in her body.
Ochako took a large swig from her water bottle laying next to her, savouring the cool refreshment. She set up and scanned her eyes on the room around her. Save for her, the bright facility was empty, the machines and weights deathly quiet. The windows showed only darkness, the sunlight that had guided her inside having long since departed.
She sighed out after her long drink, deciding to start her cooldown stretches before calling it a night. She lamented losing track of the time again, and the persistent questions she would probably get from her dorm mates about what exactly she was spending her evenings doing.
Training, Ochako said time and time again, but the quirked eyebrows and follow up questions were starting to grate on her nerves. Her friends were sceptical that she would actually spend her evenings training, considering how loaded their days already were with hero practice. Mina, in particular, was unrelenting, finding moments when she was alone to ask her if she was sneaking off because she was in love —
A flash of green hair appeared in her mind's eye and she shook her head in desperation to lose the image, immediately starting her final stretches, focusing on steady breaths. She was still training. She could save such thoughts for later. Or never. Never sounded good to her.
Ochako reached down towards her toes, feeling her back muscles stretch out as she held the position. She put all of her thought into each movement, losing herself to the single-minded distraction.
But as she winded the routine out, she struggled to keep her mind from going adrift. Her thoughts and feelings were such a chaotic mess these days, rendering her dazed and confused as they zigzagged across each other.
She tried spending more time centred on her solitary drive to improve herself and her physical capabilities. She put her all into becoming a stronger hero, which she had largely been successful in achieving. But the other recesses of her mind continue to nag, a lingering discontent and even….resentment?...continuing to trouble her.
The quiet ring of the door to the building snapped her out of her reverie and she panicked at the thought of getting caught here this late. She made a quick step towards her gym bag, trying to gather her belongings before turning her eyes to the sudden intruder, some distance away from her corner of the gym, in hopes she had not been spotted.
To her surprise, the new presence was no student, but All Might himself in the flesh. The now eternally-thin frame of the man was adorned in a baggy grey tracksuit, his eyes scanning around the room for any sight of anyone. Instinctively, Ochako kneeled down behind the weight rack, trying to hide from the teacher's scanning. She wasn't sure what he was doing here, and there was still a few minutes left before the facility closed to students, but she figured it would be best to play it safe.
She peeked her eyes over to see All Might, to her surprise, approach one of the heavier weight racks on the other side of the training facility. He started to load weights onto the bar, panting in an effort to lift some of the heavier discs. She watched on in amazement, grimacing slightly as he grit his teeth. Like most everyone, it was still taking her time to get used to seeing the world's number one hero as frail as he was now. She may not have idolised him the way Deku did, but everyone on Earth could appreciate All Might! Seeing him reduced to this made her feel sick to her stomach.
Probably why he hasn't been teaching classes as much, she thought to herself, recalling the almost dirge-like dread that had befallen the 1A classroom the first time he had stepped in for basic heroics class. He had tried to explain how he was still staying on as a teacher and wanted to continue spreading his wealth of hero knowledge to them, assuring them that he would still guide them, in a desperate effort to recapture his old bravado. But the speech's impact was limited as his student's struggled to come to grips with the fact that All Might was actually the wispy and persistently blood-puking man before them.
Though she had tried to compliment and thank All Might for his lessons with more vigour than she usually would (and encouraged her fellow classmates to join her in this), anyone could see the newfound uncertainty in their classroom dynamic had disappointed him. Now, he seemed to be doing all he could to avoid the room, with heroics being filled in by other teachers while he disappeared from student view. Nobody could be sure what he was up to most days, but there were plenty of unflattering whispers and rumours flying about.
The world's greatest hero loaded another weight, evenly balanced and looking absurdly heavy for a man of his stature. He panted, standing straight and taking a moment to appreciate his handiwork. Ochako watched on in a mixture of shock and horror; he wasn't seriously planning to lift that much, was he?
Her eyes scanned around the room and in that moment, she realized All Might didn't have a spotter. She could generally get away without one thanks to her quirk, but she couldn't imagine he could manage like this.
All Might laid himself onto the bench and started to lift the heavy barbell. To Ochako's surprise, he actually managed a couple of heavily-strained reps. Despite the thin frame, there must be some real muscle beneath it all. But his struggles gradually increased, the bar getting dangerously close to his chest. His arms finally gave out, causing the weight to crush him. She immediately leapt into action to help.
"Sensei!" she shouted as the bar caused him to retch and cough up blood. She ran over and put a hand on the bar, grabbing onto it and lifting it off of him with her quirk. He took a deep, mournful breath, eyes widening at seeing her there.
"Ura-urKA!" All Might tried to exclaim, interrupted by another spurt of blood. He covered his mouth and sprung up, flailing his arm weakly as if trying to shoo her away.
"Sensei, you...you shouldn't be doing that!" Ochako scolded. Student-teacher etiquette be damned, he was going to kill himself! He was pushing himself to the point of insanity, far too much like Deku.
Her eye twitched as his face ran through her mind again and she briefly pondered how much like All Might he was. But she let it sit there, keeping her attention focused on the more immediate problem.
"Uraraka, my dear! Your assistance is most appreciated!" He flashed a wide grin and a trembling thumbs up, his face seeming to contort slightly to match his once glorious visage. "But don't fret, I had the situation well in hand!"
Ochako affixed him with a quirked eyebrow and unsure eyes. All Might wavered under her gaze, bringing his shaking thumb back down to his side.
"It didn't look like it. Why are you here, anyway?" Her curiosity was as piqued as her concern. It didn't make any sense for him to be using the student facility, let alone trying to sneak in late at night.
His face fell back into its grotesque shape and he eyes flew straight to the floor, refusing to meet her searching gaze.
"...The teachers will kick me out if I try this in the staff training room," All Might muttered. A bolt of shock thrust through him and his eyes suddenly bore into her. "Don't tell anyone!" he flailed his hands desperately to implore her co-operation. "I don't want anybody to know I was doing this."
Ochako sighed in response, exasperated by the familiar self-destructive determination. Deku really embodied his hero far too closely. Her eye twitched again in annoyance.
"I promise I won't tell anybody," Ochako replied, flashing him a weak smile. "But you should really work your way up slowly on the weights, okay?"
All Might gave her a mournful look, his sunken eyes etched with a weariness that Ochako had never seen before. But he breathed a deep sigh and nodded his head in submission. Ochako figured he probably couldn't bear actually admitting the weakness verbally.
"Well, good night," she said quietly, not knowing what else to say and eager to leave the awkward moment behind her. She was drained and her nerves felt frayed at seeing All Might that weak. She sought the peaceful solace of bed, as much as her dreams tended to trouble her these days.
With a deep sigh, Ochako plodded off for her abode, her posture unconsciously slouching as she walked through the glass doors of the facility into the darkness beyond. She was glad that another day of putting up her sunny facade was finally over.
Unfortunately for her, she did not get very far.
"Wait!" the deep voice of All Might exclaimed from behind her. She turned to see her teacher trailing behind, staring fiercely into her, through her. His gaze was unnerving; she did not like the thought of being the subject of his ire.
"You seem...you look troubled," All Might said, voice betraying an uncertainty that did not match his stare. "In class lately, too. You do well, but I can tell that...that you're distracted."
The words pierced through her skin, getting dangerously close to her fragile young heart. She tried her best to dissuade her teacher with a reassuring smile.
"I've just been a little exhausted lately, is all," Ochako filled her response with the bright cheeriness she was known for. "Training has gotten pretty hectic! But I'm doing fine."
She didn't give him a chance to respond to her face, twisting herself around and moving with quicker steps to escape the conversation. All Might didn't see her mouth fall into a deep grimace.
"It's about Midoriya, isn't it?"
The question sliced right through her, gripping onto her legs and rendering her motionless. All of her carefully managed efforts to deny, to evade, to hide the tempest raging within her from the outside world were so close to being rendered for nought. She trembled slightly as she breathed in, trying to regain her composure and stop herself from spilling her guts out on the cool pavement.
Not him. Not now. Another day. The short, quick justifications spun rapidly through her mind as she lifted her expression back into the gentle smile that masked her turmoil.
"Like I said, I'm…" her excuse crashed into the wall of All-Might's presence, looming over her with ferocious eyes, the once beastly man having snuck up during her self-distraction.
"Uh…" Ochako sputtered, at a loss for words as her voice fell into the abyss in the eyes of her mentor.
"You...you can...trust me, Uraraka. You don't have to lie to me." His voice was raw and open, lacking the usual facade he tried to maintain in classes to imitate his old, powered vocal chords.
She stared at him blankly, lips quivering, searching desperately within herself to find the steel to rebuke his question.
"Why don't we just talk? Just to discuss hero work, of course." His hand gestured to a nearby, plain-looking metal bench just ahead of them, innocent under the overhanging lights of the walkway. But she knew the unoffending bench would spell her untimely emotional demise.
Yet despite much of her mind screaming in protest, her feet slowly walked toward the bench, taking a seat and placing her hands on her lap. Her heart had seized her movements and she did not have the strength or energy to evade the inquiry of her teacher.
And something...something in those eyes made her feel like she could trust him. She didn't know All Might well personally, but maybe he could help her sort out her hero problems. There was also kindness in his eyes, that reminded her of...of Deku . The one that made her hero's journey so fraught.
All Might deposited himself on the bench next to her, his eyes never leaving his young student. A stretch of terrible silence extended between them as Ochako struggled to figure out what exactly she should say.
She hardly had a firm grasp on her heart herself. She had been struggling to keep it locked in chains, not wanting it to get in her — or anyone else's — way. It tore her up inside and continued to rattle in its confinement on a daily thought of unlocking it and baring it before anybody made her stomach churn unpleasantly, fear and embarrassment shrinking her lungs whenever she considered talking about those feelings with someone.
But the demanding beat of her chest had grown increasingly frustrating, making the already difficult path she was setting herself on all the more so. She couldn't take it anymore. She was realizing she had to talk to somebody, especially if all of her painstaking efforts to disguise her turmoil were not working.
That she was taking All Might of all people intimidated her, but her mind gripped onto a single thread of justification. She could just tell him she was anxious about hero work. Keep the talk focused. Who better than him to help her with that?. It was the best compromise she could think of.
She wouldn't have to tell him that she loved —
"Have you ever…" she used the sound of her own voice to roughly shove the track of her mind in a different direction. "Wanted to be like someone so much, but terrified you could never measure up? As a hero, I mean."
Ochako kept her glance glued to her track pants, unwilling to pull her eyes up and see his reaction. She ran through the words in her mind, praying that they were ambiguous enough to disguise some of the more embarrassing aspects of her internal dispute.
A surge of anxiety rushed inside her as she considered her own question and the silence stretched between them. She chided herself on her own stupidity. Of course All Might, the greatest hero ever, would have no such —
"...Every day of my life."
Her head flipped towards him, mouth agape at the reply. But he did not meet her glance in return, his face solemn and downcast, shadowed by the top of his hair. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking about.
"...And every day now, I look at all of you kids, and think that." His voice was tinged with a misery that made Ochako's eyes mist as she recalled his latest classes.
"But that is just part of being a hero." His dark eyes, prominent on his emaciated face, shifted back towards her. Within them was a blazing fire that made Ochako gasp.
Those were his eyes. Eyes that could stare up at the sky and say, "I will punch through you." Those were the eyes that she tried to summon in the mirror every day.
She never was able to.
"But you know what you do?" His voice grew deeper, the fire igniting it. He almost sounded like his old self. But the tremor in his limbs as he spoke conflicted with that. "You use that to drive yourself forward. You keep on reaching out for the very top, to live up to the ideal that you value. Every hero needs that — the camaraderie of competitiveness, the burning pursuit of doing the person next to you one better, plus ultra!"
He stood up from his seat, blood dripping from his mouth as he raised a shaking fist up into the unmoving sky. In that moment, she could see the silhouette of the man he used to be. No, the man he still was, deep inside. The greatest hero ever.
If only. If only her heart wasn't bruised from trying to do just as he said.
"But what if…" her voice felt soft and weak. Like she was. "What if it's not possible, no matter what you do?" She lifted her gaze up to All Might and the fire she just saw was swiftly extinguished.
A tear leaked out from the corner of her eye as she saw the harsh impact of her words deflate the mighty man before her. The silhouette evaporated as he eyed the dark ground, the thin, broken, echo of a man returning to the world.
He sat back down, looking more defeated than she had ever seen him. The impossibility choked both of them into quiet.
Ochako breathed in deeply, fighting back against the sadness that overflowed within her. She looked up at the sky and the stars she could never reach. There was a comfort to them, even as her own limits frustrated her. She could still admire them from afar.
"I know he is going to be the greatest hero ever, someday." Those particular words felt as natural as breathing. "I...how...how could I possibly compare to that? To even get remotely close, I know I have to put everything into it. And I am. But for every step I take, it feels like he takes a leap. I can't keep up."
She closed her eyes, head throbbing as she let her doubt pound against her skull. She didn't let on the other part of her conundrum; how this all mixed in with her affection for him. If she couldn't keep pace with him as a hero, as a rival, she certainly couldn't as a...whatever it was she wanted to be to him. She didn't know.
"You keep pushing, just like you have." His voice was soft, but the embers of his passion burned within it.
Ochako weakly turned her head and her looked back to her teacher. His eyes bore into her once more, his brow creased in concern.
"I know you've already been through a lot, but you're really only just starting your journey. You haven't realized your full potential yet. And I see a lot of it in you."
Her face flushed at the compliment as she tried to mull over the words. It may be true. Everyone in their class had a lot of growing to do and the future was uncertain.
But there was little comfort in that. Already, the best of the best were clearly evident. She knew she wasn't one of them.
"I'm not going to lie. Your quirk is far from the most powerful out there. Other quirks can just do things you're not capable of, enabling some to excel in ways you never will. There are those that will likely be able to do things impossible to you, simply by virtue of their quirk."
The truth of his analysis stung Ochako's core, the faces of Bakuko, Todoroki and Deku flashing swiftly through her mind.
"But you have to use that to drive yourself forward," All Might broke through her inadequacy-fuelled fugue as his voice rose in tempo. "There are so many things even I couldn't do. But making yourself drive through those limits is what being a hero is all about."
Her fingers gripped tightly into her pants as the words pushed against her like a mighty current, but she held against it, unmoving as stone. She had already been doing all of that! How could she possibly make up the gap, when her quirk would not let her?!
"If you think you can't do anything, look at me and say so."
Ice. Solid, creeping and biting into all of her insides as the words rang through her ears and filled her with guilt. As if under mind control, she meekly obeyed, looking up towards the frail man sitting next to her.
The greatest hero ever. His quirk somehow extinguished, his body eerily thin, no more than an ordinary, but once extraordinary, human being. A man compelled to save everyone he could, now powerless to do so.
He may as well have punched her in the gut.
Ochako realized then she was focusing far too much on the rattling of her envious heart. She was so wrapped up in what she wasn't that she was losing sight of who she was. What she was capable of. She had the power that could achieve her dreams. That could save lives. That could make her a hero. That could give her parents the life they deserved.
She had power, unlike the man before her. Who was she to besmirch her own capabilities, when she could do so much?
"Now that my hero days are over, the world needs the next generation of heroes. The world needs you, Uravity." The sparks of his earlier fire were still there, deep in the abyss of his gaze. A fire he was entrusting to others, she knew.
Ochako felt the first honest smile she had offered in some time rise above her rosy cheeks.
"Thank you, sensei. You really helped me." A part of her wished she was more comfortable with him to offer more affection, but she settled for beaming up at him with her trademark grin.
"Don't mention it. Now, it's getting late. Off to bed with you." All Might looked very pleased with himself, a pleasant change of pace from the misery he had been carrying around of late. She hoped this talk might have made him feel a little lighter, too.
Ochako needed no further prompting. She sprung up, feeling as if her quirk had finally managed to lift a huge weight off of her chest. There turmoil was still there, but she would channel it to reach higher. She wouldn't let anyone hold her back, not Deku and certainly not herself.
Ultimately, she needed to count her blessings that those pesky feelings were the only thing impeding her way forward at this point. She could push through them. Compared to what All Might was going through, virtually helpless without a quirk, this was nothing. Compared to the hardships Deku had been going through, she could handle this.
She turned to walk back to her room, eager again for the comforting warmth of her bed. But she stopped, as a blazing thought streaked across her mind, demanding her attention. She turned her face back towards All Might, flashing him a toothy grin.
"You're still his hero, you know," she said with a quiet confidence. She got a great deal of enjoyment from his shocked expression. "And you're mine, too."
Ochako turned swiftly, catching his jaw trembling out of the corner of her eye. She giggled as she ran away, feeling lighter than air.
I hope you enjoyed my first foray into My Hero Academia fanfiction.
Thank you to my beta reader SabletKnight for help improving this piece.
I hope to bring you more soon. I would like to start helping the reversal of the startling lack of IzuOcha content.
Leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed it! They help and inspire me more than you know. =)