If It's Not One Thing

by Goblin Cat KC

1 Heero and Duo find out there's more to hate than just a person's orientation.

If It's Not One Thing...

Warnings: violence, shounen ai, 2x1, Deadpool plug (everyone read Deadpool!)

Setting: Sometime after the war

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing characters belong to Mixx Entertainment, Koichi Tokita, the SOTSU Agency, Sunrise, Kodansha and anyone I may have forgotten, not to me. I make no money off of this.

"I don't get it," Duo said, flopping onto the bed. "Why does everyone here hate me so much?"

Heero repressed his sigh and didn't turn away from his laptop. "You mean besides the fact that you refuse to do schoolwork, you sleep during class and one of the prettiest cheerleaders snubbed her own boyfriend to flirt shamelessly with you?"

"Well, the first two never got me in trouble before," Duo said. "At least, not with the students, anyway. Why do they care here?"

"This isn't an American school," Heero . Haven't I told him this dozens of times already? "Education is taken seriously here. Students are expected to perform, even you."

"But it's so boring here!" Duo said.

"Not everything can be entertaining, Duo."

Duo made a face at him. "I know that! But here, it's like...it's so rigid, man. And I really mean it, this place practically stifles creativity."

Heero had to concede that point. "True, but then...Japanese schools are extremely competitive. Daydreaming gets in the way of memorization, and you need that to pass the exams."

"What a fucked up way to learn," Duo said.

"As opposed to America's sink-or-swim method?" Heero asked.

Duo grinned and fiddled with his braid. "It's more fun."

Heero didn't reply.

Duo continued, accustomed to the fact that Heero usually didn't freely converse with him, even now. "This never happened with the other schools I went to. Nobody else cared what everyone else did, not really. Yeah, you'd be labeled something, but at least it wasn't the whole school against you."

Again, Heero didn't say anything.

Duo heaved a sigh as he flipped onto his stomach and lay his head on his folded arms. "Didn't expect that chick to ditch her boyfriend for me, though. You said she was the prettiest, huh?"

No response, but Duo did notice how Heero's typing had turned into pounding on the keys.

"Ah, I'm sure I can take that boyfriend of hers if he comes after me. He looked like a pushover, I wonder what she sees in him."

"He's the kickboxing champion of this school," Heero said.

Duo's eyes widened for a moment, but then his familiar grin returned. "No problem, no one beats me in a fight. Nobody can defeat the Shinigami."

The keyboard pounding grew a little louder. Duo's smile softened. Heero could be heard to read at times, but he certainly knew when the Japanese boy was jealous. Duo jumped to his feet and crossed the tiny dorm room, draping himself over Heero from behind.

"You can be so silly," he said. "Why would I want a bouncy cheerleader when I have my crazy mute boyfriend?"

Heero shrugged him off and didn't answer.

A hurt look crossed Duo's features for a moment. That certainly hadn't been expected. Heero was supposed to yank him by the braid into his lap and force a kiss that would be eagerly reciprocated. At least he was supposed to put his hand on Duo's and let him know he wasn't really upset. Guessing that Heero wasn't letting him see how hurt he was, Duo sat down on the floor next to Heero and lay his head in his lap, his hands resting on the spandex covered thighs.

"Heero?"

The Japanese boy spared a brief glance down at him, but he refused to speak. He only opened up another window on the screen.

Duo closed his eyes and nestled even closer to his lover. "I...didn't mean to make you jealous," he said. "I had no idea she'd do that. If I'd known...I would've skipped lunch."

Heero gave him an incredulous stare. "You? Skip lunch?"

Duo smiled. "There, got you to talk." He pushed up Heero's tank top and trailed kisses across his abdomen. "Okay...maybe not lunch...but I'd have skipped that class..."

Heero smirked despite his anger, but even that was waning. "You'd have to skip the first three classes to do that."

"And that's bad because...?"

Heero only stroked the long braid in response, relaxing the boy in his lap and making him purr in pleasure.

"You know," Duo said. "If I'd known she'd be such a bother, I'd have just kissed you in front of the entire class and let everyone know I'm taken."

Heero's fingers closed on the thick rope of hair and tugged it back so he could glare into Duo's face. "Duo, you can't do that."

"But Heero--"

"If they find out we're together, we'll have to move to another school," Heero said. "Again."

"Would they really be so mean here?" Duo asked. "They might not like me, but I know they like you."

"Do you remember the third school we've been in, the one in Luxembourg?"

Duo lowered his eyes. "Most of the students were nice...it was just that one gang--"

"Duo, they almost shot you."

"I know..." Duo crawled up into Heero's lap, putting his arms around his shoulders as he lay in his embrace. "It's not fair...why do they have to be so cruel?"

"Their religion," Heero reminded him. "And yours, if I remember."

Duo shook his head. "Christ never said being gay was evil. He said to forgive seven times seventy times." He sniffled and shut his eyes up tight. "And they were so nice until they saw us holding hands..."

Heero sighed and saved his work on the laptop. It was going to be one of those nights, comforting his friendly lover and calming him down. He put his fingers on Duo's chin and tilted his face up, brushing his lips on Duo's before claiming a real kiss.

Of course that was when someone knocked on the door.

Heero broke off the kiss before he knew what he was doing. Before he could even make a token apology, Duo slipped out of his arms and returned to his bed, giving him a little wink to make sure Heero knew it was all right.

Obviously not eager to open the door, Heero did it anyway, revealing one student Duo recognized from class. Duo waved, but the greeting wasn't returned.

"Since you're new here," the student said, looking only at Heero, "I came to tell you that every Thursday night at ten, there is an assembly in the gymnasium. Students are expected to attend. Failure to attend results in suspension."

Heero nodded once. "We'll be there."

The other boy smirked and shook his head. "No, Heero. Students only. Real students." With that, he turned and disappeared down the hall.

"Lousy little prick," Duo said. "Thinks he's so smart...he'd go into shock if he went to an American school..."

"Anyone with a few sensibilities left would be shocked at an American school," Heero said, glancing at the clock. It was nearly nine forty-five. "I'd better go now...Duo...?"

The braided boy just nodded. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Probably a lot more fun in here than there." He looked up at Heero. "Just...be careful, okay? Hurry back."

"I will." Heero slipped out of the room, not bothering with his school uniform. Bastards, he thought to himself, wandering through the empty halls. No reason to treat Duo like that. He doesn't do any work, but that doesn't mean he's a complete idiot...he just gets bored too fast, and this school system isn't helping.

He wandered out of the dormitories and headed around the school, deciding to use the shortcut behind the gym. Even though the grounds weren't well lit at all, he could still find his way without fear of tripping or getting lost. No more clouds lingered in the sky since it had rained earlier, leaving the full moon to light up the area.

And I did drag him into this...I didn't want to deal with the hassles of his culture's schooling, but he willingly came here and put up with mine. And now this happens...Heero stopped in his tracks and looked back at the dormitories. Maybe...no definitely. This place isn't right for my Duo. I'll tell him we're leaving in the morning. To hell with the stupid assembly. His eyes narrowed. If there was an assembly, why weren't the lights on? He heard something snap behind him, but by the time he whirled around, a heavy object connected with his head, sending him to the ground.

"Yeah, more fun in here, right," Duo said, tossing his comic book back into his small duffel bag. "Boring, boring, boring! I've gotta get a new stack of these, it's dull reading the same thing over and over. Even Deadpool." He sat down at Heero's laptop, still on, and flipped through the open windows. Just more and more updates from the Preventers private files. "Tsk, tsk, Heero, what would they say if they knew you were keeping up on them? Hmm...and apparently making spelling corrections to their memos."

He raised one eyebrow. "Why would he...?" He looked over the rest of the few memos in Heero's laptop, and growled to himself as he realized what was going on. "Heero, man, you promised me you wouldn't start up again until next year..." He knelt by his bed and dug his jacket out of his duffel bag, sliding the light thing on. Old war wounds flared up whenever it got cold and humid, and he was not about to let the kids in the assembly see him too stiff to move.

Duo quietly left the room and locked the door, doing his best not to make a sound and wincing when the hinges creaked. Dammit...empty places always make me nervous...'specially empty schools...Noticing a light coming from under one of the doors, he crept past hoping he could catch Heero before he made it to the assembly with the rest of--

"Wait a second," Duo said. If someone's in their room, then all the students can't be at the assembly, so that means...that little bastard lied.

No longer caring if he was caught outside the room after curfew, he raced down the hall, footsteps reverberating through the dormitories. The boy he loved was out there alone with an unknown amount of people they had no reason to trust and had just lied to them. "Heero, please be okay...Heero, please..."

Heero rolled as quickly as he could and rose to his feet again, startling the five boys surrounding him. They'd expected him to just lay still and moan in pain while he waited for them to beat him up. He glared at the small gang and wondered if he could dispatch all of them without a scratch.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, hands curling into fists. Wish I'd brought my gun with me.

Heero recognized the one in the center as boy who'd called him out in the first place. "Lee, what is this about?"

Lee, deciding to lay off a victim who bounced back up after his best hit, crossed his arms. "Why do you associate with that...boy?"

"Why do you care?" Heero said.

"He does not belong here," Lee snarled, "and you do not belong here if you insist on mixing with him. His kind is not welcome here."

"He is my friend," Heero said.

"He's an American!" one of the kids in the background snarled, spitting out the last word like an insult.

Heero blinked. He hadn't expected that. No gay slurs, no snide comments followed by a fist, no belittling insults..."You mean that's all this is about? That he's an American?"

"That's enough," one of them said. "Fucking round-eyes..."

Heero shook his head to himself. "You mean...you don't know?" The one time the little baka manages to keep it a secret, and then this happens...it's always something...

"Know what?" Lee asked.

What the hell, we're leaving anyway, Heero told himself. "Duo is more than just a friend. I love that little round-eyes."

Lee took a step back, his face registering immediate disgust. "You must be joking."

Heero smirked. "No, he's the one who makes jokes."

The night was still for a few seconds as they all stared at him, everything lit up clearly by the moonlight reflected up from the wet pavement. Then Heero shifted his weight to his other foot, and the nameless boy who had spoken first took that as his cue to charge him. The other four were only a step behind.

Duo nearly tried to go through the front to get to the gym, but he thought he heard the sounds of a scuffle around the corner and veered off, thinking that Heero might have taken the shortcut. Sure enough, he arrived just in time to see Heero dodge a clumsy punch and slam his fist into the boy's stomach, sending him staggering back. While he was distracted by that kid, though, another enemy launched a roundhouse kick that connected with the back of Heero's head. Heero stumbled forward onto his knees and caught a low punch from yet another boy, dropping onto his side with a quickly groan.

"Heero!" Duo yelled, running towards them. "Leave him alone!"

"Ah, there he is," Lee said. "The other one."

Duo came to a halt over Heero's body, kneeling down to check his pulse and breathing. To his relief, the Japanese boy had just been stunned by that kick, hovering between consciousness and sleep. "Heero...can you hear me?"

"Mm...Duo?" Heero focused on the pale face looking down on him.

"Stay put, don't move," Duo ordered him. "I'm taking you out of here."

Lee chuckled. "That's going to be a little difficult."

The boy who had kicked Heero stepped next to Lee. "You're just the guy I wanted to talk to. You stole my girl in front of the entire class!"

Duo gave Heero's hand a reassuring squeeze and stood up. "You know, if Heero hadn't been going easy on you, I wouldn't have to clean up this little mess."

"Going easy?" Lee laughed. "When we're done with you, you'll be begging us to go easy on you!"

Duo smiled and stepped away from Heero, taking the fight away from him. "Bring it on, you little coward."

"Coward?" the boy next to Lee hissed. "I'm the kickboxing champion--"

"No, you're one of five little pansies who're so scared of one guy they have to bait him out and gang up on him," Duo said. "Well, come on. There's only four of you now, but don't let that stop you."

"Four?" Lee said. He looked around and noticed that the one Heero had punched was on the ground, lying back in the mud gasping for breath like a fish out of water.

"I'll take you myself!" the kickboxer yelled, charging.

Duo easily sidestepped the lunge, tripping him as he went by. While he fell face first in the mud, Duo swung at Lee, connecting his fist against Lee's face. As the other two joined in the fight, Duo pushed the dazed Lee back and punched the next attacker, elbowing the second in the stomach. Meanwhile the kickboxer pushed himself back up and tried to kick Duo's head, much like he'd done to Heero. Duo's braid, however, whipped around and slapped him in the face, not only distracting him but also telling Duo he was there. Duo ducked and punched one attacker as the second caught the poorly aimed kick.

Two down, Duo thought with an evil little laugh. While he was down low, he grabbed the kickboxer in a perfect tackle, dropping him back into the mud. "You should--" punch to the head "--play more football--" another punch "--you might have blocked that tackle!" One more punch knocked him out.

Duo was about to get to his feet when he felt a violent yank on his braid, jerking him flat on his back. Before he could get his hands up, Lee straddled his top half, pinning Duo's arms to his sides with his knees. He backhanded Duo, laughing when Duo couldn't hold in his cry.

"Stupid little American shouldn't come where he isn't wanted," Lee glared at him, raising his hand for another strike.

Suddenly another hand grabbed his, wrenching him backwards with a sickening snap. Lee began to scream in pain as his hand flopped on the end of his wrist. Ignoring his yells, Heero knelt next to Duo and helped him back up.

"Are you all right?" he said.

Duo rubbed the side of his head and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Good," Heero breathed, and then toppled forward into Duo's startled arms.

"I've got you," Duo said, setting him on the ground for a moment. He removed his jacket and wrapped it around Heero's shoulders before and hoisting him up as if he was a child. "Just lay your head on my shoulder, I'll get you back to the room."

"No," Heero whispered, lying still despite his usual stubborn nature. "Leave...hotel..."

"All right," Duo smiled. "I'll grab our things and we'll call a cab. Good?"

Heero nodded once and promptly fell asleep.

Heero was only vaguely aware of being carried into a strange room and set on a ridiculously firm bed. Curtains were drawn and a door was locked before the lamp beside him was turned on, and then he could see Duo staring at him in concern.

"Just lay still," Duo said. "I'm gonna get those clothes off and then you're taking a nice hot bath."

Heero nodded obediently, enjoying the feel of his hands first yanking the sneakers off, then pulling the tank top and spandex away. "Now I'm glad you're a minimalist dresser. Ready?"

Heero reached his arms up and grabbed onto Duo as he was lifted back up and taken to the bathroom. His head was pounding too hard for him to do anything for himself.

"I've gone soft," he whispered.

"Huh?" Duo asked, setting him in the tub while he started the water.

"I could've beaten...them before," Heero muttered. "I wouldn't feel so bad...didn't before..."

Duo chuckled to himself as he brought the water up to an acceptable level. "No, Heero. That kickboxer guy was pretty good, but he just got a lucky hit, that's all. As I remember, a certain braided baka got a few lucky shots at you in as well."

Heero smiled despite himself. "I suppose so...he must've hit me pretty hard..."

"Ah, he didn't even knock you out," Duo shook his head. "Besides, you're not as psychotic now as you were then."

"Psychotic?" Heero repeated.

Duo took the complimentary soap and unwrapped it from its paper packaging, dipping it in the water to wash the mud and sweat off of his lover. "Yes, you're much more relaxed now...even if you still are a little aloof."

Heero's reply was lost in the warm feeling of his boyfriend's hands running along his body. A few minutes later, those same hands gently massaged shampoo into his hair, avoiding the little bump at the base of his head. "Shouldn't...you...?"

"What's that?"

"You got muddy...too..."

Duo smiled and kissed Heero. "Silly...I already took mine. You fell asleep again after I locked the room, so I took a quick shower. See?"

Heero opened his eyes and looked directly at him, finally noticing the towel around his hair and waist. "Oh...I guess so."

He smiled as warm water rinsed the shampoo away, and after a few more minutes Duo let the water go down the drain. He dried Heero with a few of the towels provided and then swept him back up, carrying him back to bed.

"Time to get some rest," Duo whispered, turning off the lamp and pulling the blankets up over them. Now they could only see each other in the faint moonlight that filtered through the thick curtains. "For once."

"You looked in my laptop," Heero said.

Duo looked into his eyes and nodded. "You said no more Preventers work for a year."

Not having a good response, Heero stared at his pillow. Duo just smiled and gave him another kiss. "Those memos that you corrected the spelling on...that was your way of saying you'd received them, wasn't it?"

"They needed someone from L1 to review the details of the case..." Heero explained. "So I volunteered."

Duo shook his head. "No. When is that case done?"

"Today's was the last message."

"Good, I'll tell Sally tomorrow that you're done with that for a year."

"Duo..." Heero started, a warning note in his voice.

"Hey, you were doing Preventer work. That bumps the starting point up to tomorrow." He hugged Heero closer. "Think of it as a long honeymoon."

"We're not married, Duo."

"Well, there's the first thing we can take care of while we're on vacation. After finding a new place to stay. I think we should avoid schools from now on. If some social worker wants to give us grief about living alone without 'adult supervision' we can just kill 'em. Maybe a nice apartment, my choice, though, since you've been picking all our stays lately. I've heard Florida is nice this time of year, with all those amusement parks--mmm..."

His voice was cut off as Heero pushed his lips against Duo's, forcing him into a long kiss that took the braided boy's breath away. He put his hand on Duo's braid and pulled him closer. When he finally broke away with a smaller kiss, he wrapped his arm around Duo's waist and closed his eyes, drifting to sleep. "You talk too much."

The End