Karma

By: Aviantei

An Ao no Exorcist pilot episode

"Hey, come on, wake up."

"Honestly, how long do you intend to sleep for?"

"Come on, Kid, if you don't wake up, everyone's gonna think you're dead and it'll be my ass that takes the blame…"

Renzo opened his eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling. It was white, speckled with little dots of black that had no purpose other than breaking up the already existing color. It hurt his eyes. He closed them the next instant, pulling an arm up to block the rest of light intruding through his eyelids. Renzo immediately regretted it, images of the festival flashing before his eyes. There was everyone staring at him, hurt, the helicopter descending, Izumo in her cure little waitress dress, cradled in his arms—

Izumo.

Renzo sat up quickly. His body hurt less than he thought it would, but he was starting to form a headache, and his eyes were stinging. He couldn't see the room properly because tears were blocking his vision. At least he was crying now and not earlier. That would have rendered the whole thing useless if he had cried at the festival.

"Hey it looks like you're awake now," a voice said. Renzo immediately wiped his eyes, not want to show his tears. He had made his decision. No one here would react kindly to him showing weakness. The voice seemed uninterested or just didn't notice, continuing, "That's good. What's the point in planting a spy if they die before the can tell you anything?"

The voice was female. Turning his head, Renzo could see its owner, a girl probably a few years older than him with hands planted on her hips. Strands of hair framed her face but stayed clear of her eyes, the rest tied behind her head. She was wearing multiple layers of clothing, even though it wasn't that cold in the room, which sadly made it hard to see her figure properly. The cuffs of her Illuminati jacket stuck out from the sweater piled on top of it, reminding Renzo of where he was.

"So I guess it wasn't a dream, now was it?" he muttered, finally taking a look around him. Good thing the girl had shown up. The infirmary wasn't that different from the one they had set up at the school.

The girl seemed to smile a little, although it was more like a smirk. "If you're going to confuse reality with dreams then I'd have to question the higher ups' decision in choosing you," she said. Then she sighed. "It's not that I want to or anything, but I'm supposed to make sure that you aren't hurt even though I've been taking care of you for days. So how you feelin'?"

Renzo blinked, then realized he didn't know what the date was. He wanted to ask, but by the look on the girl's face she wanted an answer before getting anywhere close to his concerns. "My head hurts a bit, but I'm good other than that." He smiled. "If you've been taking care of me, that means you're a nurse, right? A cute girl like you should be dressed up for the part, you know."

He fully expected her to frown. To yell at him. That's what Izumo would have done. This girl looked brasher than Izumo did, though. Maybe she would hit him instead. But the girl only smiled without the slightest trace of malice.

"Ah, I heard you were that type of guy," she commented. "I'd be careful what you say, though. If I took care of you for ten days, I can certainly take you out of this world in less time than that." She leaned forward, face within centimeters of his. Their noses were almost touching. Her eyes were so green that they seemed unnatural, and Renzo was supposed to be an exorcist. "That's a real nice fake smile you got there, Kid. How long did it take you to master that one?"

Renzo recoiled, his elbow sinking into one of the pillows against the back of the bed. She wasn't supposed to be able to tell. How was she able to tell? Not even Bon and Konekomaru could tell, and Renzo had grown up with them. That was how he had been able to trick them after all. And yet—

"At least I get why they picked you then," the girl said as she stood back up. "If you can make a smile like that at will then you'd be the perfect choice to infiltrate others. Though you still get shocked way too easily whenever someone sees through you. Looks like you've still got a lot to learn, haha!" In the time she took to laugh, Renzo decided to regain his composure.

He really should ask some questions. She had mentioned ten days; what had happened in that time? Had the plan advanced any? Had the Order of the True Cross retaliated? What was he supposed to do, now that his role as a spy was fulfilled? He opened his mouth and let his subconscious decide what was most important.

"I want to see Izumo," Renzo said. The girl immediately stopped laughing and shook her head. The beads angling off the end of the hairstick inside the bun topping off her pony tail clicked together with the movement.

"No way," she said. Her tone of voice wasn't even commanding and Renzo still felt like he had been punched in the gut. "Sorry, Kid, but only the higher ups are allowed near her now. Besides, even if she was conscious, I doubt that she'd want to see you. You did sort of kidnap her, after all. That definitely wasn't a dream.

"Is she at least alright?!" The sudden increase on voice volume made Renzo's throat protest from disuse. The girl was looking at him, almost like she was disappointed. Renzo looked down and took a deep breath, not even trying to contain the sound.

The girl sighed. "You really aren't suited for this job, after all," she said. "Aside from whatever you did to render her unconscious, the girl's fine. She's stable and there are no external injuries. It's just way easier for everyone if she stays unconscious for now, alright? Not that you should be worrying about her or anything."

Renzo almost wanted to scream. Of course he was going to be worried about Izumo! It was only the natural decision. But as much as he hated to admit it, the girl was right. He had betrayed Izumo. What right did he have to worry about her? She would probably hate him anyway. It was best to focus on the plan. "I understand," he said. "I should go and get new orders now…"

"Ah, there's no need for that." Renzo looked back up at the girl. "Your current orders are to report everything you learned while infiltrating the True Cross to the head of the Intelligence Department, Emília Nussbaum. From there, you are to start work with the Intelligence Department until further notice."

"Alright." It wasn't the ideal scenario Renzo wanted to deal with right now, but it could have been worse. He adjusted so he was sitting on the side of the bed, not ready to stand yet. His legs felt like they might collapse if he tried. "Could you tell me where to go then? I'll head there as soon as you say I have the permission to, Miss, um…"

"Nussbaum," the girl said, sitting down on a chair Renzo hadn't even noticed was there. She tossed a bag of some foreign snack off the bedside stand and into his lap for good measure. Renzo couldn't even begin to decipher what language it was in, and gave up on the endeavor almost instantly. "Just to clear out the trouble of you putting it together, I'm the head of the Intelligence Department. So you can just make your report here and we can get you some real food when you're done."

Opening the snack bag produced crinkle that seemed to echo in the otherwise empty infirmary. Renzo devoured the snack as a stalling tactic on autopilot, not even bothering to taste them. If Emília noticed she didn't say anything. When he couldn't avoid talking anymore, Renzo just closed his eyes and spilled it all out. Even the meal he ate afterwards couldn't remove the bitter taste from inside his mouth.

A few weeks passed, and Renzo was left being nearly forced to admit that he had become somewhat content with his new life. Emília wasn't an easy person to work under, but at least she wasn't a slave driver. And in the end, Renzo's own position was limited to being around so he could report on the True Cross at any moment he was needed to do so. It happened to have the added bonus that he could stare at Emília all day (or at least attempt to) whenever she wasn't out of the room.

He was stuck was nightmares as payment though. He would either lay awake thinking about Bon, Konekomaru, or the others without sleep for the night or dream about them on the off-chance that he did happen to pass out. It wasn't affecting his work as much as he worried it would, but Renzo knew if he didn't fix it soon there would be consequences.

By the start of the fourth week—Has it really almost been a month?—he felt about ready to fall asleep at the makeshift desk that had been added into the corner of Emília's office. Just when his brain was about to wander off into some daydream or another (heaven forbid it be pleasant), Emília appeared in front of Renzo's desk, causing the boy to snap to attention.

"How many total Exorcist Cram School Students were enrolled in your class?" she asked.

Renzo found himself needing to think too hard about the question. There's me, Bon, Konekomaru, Okumura, that Takara kid, Shiemi, Izona, Haruhana, Pheles, Izumo… "Ten before the festival, including myself," he answered. The pang that usually accompanied thoughts of his friends had lessened but was still present. He didn't let it into his voice.

Instead of returning back to her desk, Emília looked closer at him. Even though she wasn't glaring at him, her presence over the desk still held some level of an intimidation factor. "I knew it," she said without any preamble. "Your reaction time has been slipping even though I've been asking you the same question every day for the past week. Ugh, how did I miss the bags under your eyes? They're so obvious now." Renzo didn't know what to say. Emília dug through the varying pockets of her multiple jackets until she pulled something out and placed it in front of him. "Here."

It was a small bottle, the glass clouded into a dark green color that matched the uniform jacket Renzo had been fitted into the day he had woken up. He couldn't tell what was inside. "Not to be rude, but what is it?" Renzo asked. He picked the bottle up, jarring its contents. He frowned as he heard the rattling of pills. He didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"It's a sleep aid," Emília informed. "You're not getting enough sleep, so this'll help. All you need to do is take it when you can't fall asleep after an hour of lying in bed and you'll be catchin' some z's in no time." Her content expression was soon replaced with a scowl. "Don't give me that fake smile, Kid. With the state you're in right now it's worth as much as shit. I can't stand to look at it, so why don't you go and pop a pill and sleep properly, huh? Boss's orders."

She didn't even give him a chance to retort, moving away from Renzo's desk. He felt like he had been steamrolled into taking a break. Back at the Academy he would have rejoiced at the idea of free rime off. Right here, in the middle of everything, he was almost dreading it. Stopping work would give him time to think again. Reluctantly, Renzo stood up to shuffle out of the door, pocketing the bottle on his way.

The only thing he hesitated more about was actually taking the pill. He decided it was best not to think too hard about it and closed his eyes before swallowing it dry. The bitter taste almost made him gag.

He fell asleep effortlessly, the entire day gone when he woke up the next morning. He hadn't had any nightmares. Renzo didn't hesitate to take the pill before bed that night or any of the nights that came after.

"Do you still want to see her?"

About five months of sound sleeping, several refills of pills, and more stupid, impossible, and absolutely private daydreams about his new boss than Renzo could count, the calm in his mind was nearly broken apart that once sentence once he realized what it meant. Emília looked at him across the lunch table, awaiting a response. She had a tendency to try and not look too interested whenever she asked a question, no matter how badly she wanted to know the answer.

Renzo couldn't appreciate the habit (which he had decided was definitely "cute" after several trial and error attempts) as much as he normally would have. His still clumsily wielded fork was hallway to his mouth, frozen in midair as he tried to comprehend the meaning of Emília's sentence. "See who exactly?" he asked, a sheepish grin forming on his face. Surely she hadn't been saying something and he had missed it? That would get him scolded for sure…

"Maybe I shouldn't bring this up after all…" Emília said, propping her face up on her palm. Her free hand went to play with the beads dangling from her hair. She almost sounded conflicted, but Renzo dismissed it as a trick of the ears. "Don't tell me you've forgotten about your darling Izumo already. You were so worked up about her when you first got there, but now you just went and forgot? That's bad, Kid."

Renzo winced, dropping his fork on his plate. The clatter that would normally be present was lost in the din of cafeteria noise. No one else seemed to notice, but Renzo could feel his stomach turning over. A lump was forming in his throat. Izumo. All of this had been about her and he had completely forgotten.

Emília sighed. "You really shouldn't forget things like that. I can understand not wanting to think about it, but you still shouldn't just abandon it. That betrayal you did still has a lot of meaning to people out there, especially that Izumo girl." She wiped her face with a napkin and went to take a drink, pulling off the tab of her soda can in the process. "I think you should go."

"I should?" Renzo asked, not expecting the reaction. Emília nodded, the missing pop-tab between her fingers. "Why's that?" His mouth was so dry it was a wonder he was even speaking. Despite that, he couldn't convince himself to reach for his own drink.

"Well for one, this may be your last chance to see her," Emília said. Renzo flinched before she could adjust her wording. "I don't believe that the higher ups want to harm her. It's just that even with the state of the world after the plan is fulfilled she may not want to see you at all. At least you now you know that she won't be able to run away. She may not be able to respond, but she can't run away either." Emília stood up properly, a half-baked smile that was more like a grimace covering her face. "I mean, in the end, it's your decision, Kid. But I've been called in to see her, so if you wanna come, now's your chance."

Renzo frowned. Did he really want to see Izumo like this? Did he even want to see her at all? She would probably just reject him. And even then, she couldn't really push him away. It was almost like he would be forcing himself on her. Would he really do it for something as selfish as finding out whether or not she hated him for what he did?

"I'll go," he said, standing up and taking the remains of his lunch in hand. Emília frowned at him but didn't say anything. He didn't have the heart to admit that his stomach wasn't agreeing with his decision as much as he liked to imagine his brain was.

She was just as beautiful as the last time Renzo had seen her. It was like he would never be able to look at her face anymore, and he set out to memorize it all over again. It was exactly the same as before the incident, her lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed even in sleep. She still looked peaceful regardless, and Renzo wanted to shake her awake just so she could yell at him. The only problem was that the act would involve touching her, a right he didn't feel like he had anymore.

"Well, she's still stable," Emília said, finishing taking Izumo's pulse and putting the sleeping girl's arm back down on the bedspread. Emília's movements were gentle, as if Izumo would break if not handled delicately enough. Izumo was like a doll: stagnant, beautiful, and still wearing the same clothes Takara had dressed her up in on the night of the incident. Emília took a step back to stand beside Renzo. "I don't know what the higher ups keep fussing about. They pamper her like goddamn Sleeping Beauty. Of course she's going to be fine."

Sleeping Beauty. Renzo clenched fist, not saying anything. If that was the case then he was the one had had cursed her into sleep. And for what? She may not respond but she can't run away either. What was it like for the role of the princess that didn't get a choice of who to love, only had to settle for the person who came to rescue her and accept that it was? That wasn't anything but ambition and foolishness.

The only thing that made this situation worse was that this princess wasn't going to get the chance to have anyone save her.

Renzo didn't say any of that. He had been working himself up to be able to say something, anything at all. "Has she not woken up yet?" he finally asked. He didn't look at Emília and she didn't look at him.

"She could wake up if they let her," Emília said. "They think that keeping her asleep will reduce any complications. I bet that she's just going to be pissed that she lost half a year of her life just because of some idealists." Renzo felt a strange mix of relief and disgust. At least he hadn't permanently damaged her. Emília laughed, oblivious to his inner state. "Well, none of that will matter when the plan succeeds, anyway." She established eye contact as sudden as her next words. "You like her, right?"

"Um…" Renzo faltered. He didn't know the answer to that anymore. "Well, I made myself like her," he admitted. Emília's expression didn't waver. "It fit the role I was playing and what I needed to accomplish, after all. But I guess when I think about it, I really did like her." He thought about smiling but knew Emília would see right through it. He didn't bother. "I mean, what isn't there to like? I even got to be her hero for a minute so it wasn't all that bad…"

Emília studied his face. "Past tense, huh?" Renzo winced. "So once she was out of the picture you just stopped caring for her, huh? I guess that happens."

"I still care for her!" Renzo protested. Despite the effort he put into it, his voice was weak.

"But you don't care enough to say that you like her." Emília shrugged, dismissing the argument. "Although I guess that from your perspective that could be enough. Trying to keep up with other people's emotions is way too much for me since everyone has their own standard of what's what. I guess that just from my perspective I feel like you don't care too much for her. Sorry about that."

Renzo looked back over Izumo again. Would she even be the same when she woke up? There wasn't even a guarantee that they would see each other when everything was over. Renzo wasn't even sure he wanted to face it. Why had he even come here? Emília had made it sound as if he had some sort of responsibility, but…

Renzo laughed. He didn't know where the sound had come from or how to describe it. "I guess you're right," he said.

Emília only raised an eyebrow and didn't miss a beat. "About what?"

"I really don't like her that way anymore…" Renzo attempted to swallow the lump in his throat but it didn't go away. "I care about what happens to her but I think my feelings have moved on at the very least." He laughed again, except it was more of a cheerful self-depreciation. "I guess I really am fickle, considering I think I like you."

Emília stared at him for a moment, wide-eyed. She was hardly ever shocked, so this had to count as some sort of victory. Renzo had no idea where the words had come from himself but decided that they were more than likely true, at least for the moment. Emília's smirk fell back into place before he could even form a follow up.

"Fickle? More like stupid," she said. The next thing Renzo knew was the sensation of Emília flicking his forehead. "If you have time to deal with things like that then you really need to set your priorities straight. I'm not anyone that kids like you can handle. Don't go confessing feelings unless you're serious about it."

"I am serious, though." At least for now I mean it. "Work's been slow for a while so why don't we enjoy ourselves until it's time to go through with the plan? Even with your position it shouldn't be that difficult to manage someone like me on the side, right?" Renzo reached out for the hand closest to him, Emília's fingers slipping between his own.

She sighed. "Oh man, I was just trying to get my facts straight and you spring this on me. Honestly, what am I supposed to do with someone like you?" Emília moved close to Renzo's face for a moment, and he didn't dare move. "Geeze, I can't even say no when you have such a genuine look on your face like that. Fine then, don't disappoint me!"

Renzo didn't bother to try and figure out what expression Emília was talking about before his face broke out into a grin. As far as he was concerned how he felt in this moment was all that mattered.

"So it looks like it's just me and you," Emília said, lightly hitting his arm. Renzo smiled at the contact, letting it be his focus. There was so much else to think about that he was happy enough to push it aside for this moment. The year had finally passed to set about their plan, and the only thing to do was wait until the time was right.

"I know we should be thankful that our job is so easy, but I wish it wasn't so boring," Renzo commented, sitting down. He patted the seat beside him, and Emília joined him, intentionally pressing their legs together. On the other side of the room was Izumo, still asleep. In less than a few hours she would be woken up and used as part of the Illuminati's final stage in their plan. Renzo put an arm around Emília's shoulder and pulled her closer, hoping her warmth would distract him.

Emília nuzzled into the contact, her beads tickling against Renzo's ear. "Hey, what do you think about this whole thing?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"The plan, what we've been working for. The idea of bringing the two worlds together, letting demons into Assiah, wrapping the world up in light? What do you think about it? Do you think it's the right thing to do?"

Renzo didn't know where this conversation was going, but he decided to go along with it anyway. Anything had to be better than focusing on Izumo right now. "I'm pretty okay with it," he said. Emília looked up to him, a contemplative expression on her face. "I mean, I really don't care what happens to the world. And when it comes down to whether it's right or not, I couldn't care less. It's what's going to happen, and that's that."

Emília laughed softly. "I should have expected as much from you."

"And what about you? Have any thoughts to share?"

Renzo watched as Emília thought, looking over the lines of her face. She finally went to speak, her voice softer than usual. "I really don't know," she admitted. "I guess I've just been having second thoughts about it. Even if it sounds good, I don't know about what kind of person I'll be afterwards. If we're adjusting human morality, then you and I and everyone else is going to change. And at the very least I'm worried that you and I might…"

"Hey now," Renzo interrupted before Emília could go any farther. He placed a quick kiss on her temple. "You know it's not going to be that way. You and I are already part of this, so we won't change too much. I promise that if anything else I won't let that happen."

"Thanks." Emília smiled, standing up and stretching out. "Even if everything changes after tonight, I'm sure we'll make it through somehow. Besides, there's no need to be slacking. We have work to do." Emília walked over to Izumo, adjusting the sleeping girl's clothes. "By the way," she called over her shoulder, "don't you think it's a bit weird that two members of the intelligence division were considered to be enough security for the most vital part of the plan?"

Renzo leaned back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling. "Not really. Everyone's busy running around on their preparations and the True Cross has been significantly weakened as a threat. When it comes down it, it's us Intelligence Division members that have the least amount of worth, so there's nothing else for us to do but to be guards."

"I'm glad you think so. That makes things a lot easier."

Renzo wanted to ask what was going on, but was interrupted by the wall collapsing. Any efforts he made to call out were prevented by a fit of coughs. By the time he could see again, Emília was already walking away, Izumo cradled in her arms, and a helicopter approaching on the skyline. Renzo rushed forward, only to collide with a barrier that must have been summoned in the midst of the dust.

For the first time, he thought he could understand what it must have been like for everyone else on the night he had kidnapped Izumo. It was like he had gone back the entire year in time, except now he was the betrayed instead of the traitor. He didn't understand. What was this even about?

"Emília, wait!" he called, voice almost muted out from the roar of the helicopter. Emília stopped and looked at him, but didn't move to come back any closer. "What are you doing with Izumo? It's almost time for the plan! We need her!"

Emília laughed a little, and what Renzo could hear of the sound made him shiver. "What does it look like I'm doing, Kid? I thought you'd be familiar enough with this scenario to recognize it," she called back. Even though he really couldn't hear it, the shift of her weight triggered the memory of the bead clicking together at the end of her hairstick. "I'm betraying the Illuminati! I was a spy the whole time, just like you were inside the True Cross!"

Renzo felt like he was about to throw up, but it had nothing to do with the memory of his own betrayal. "What about me?!" he shouted before he could stop himself. The barrier prevented him from getting any closer, but Renzo pressed his hands against it anyway. "You could have told me, Emília. I would have sided with you and you know it."

"No, no, it doesn't work that way at all," Emília retorted, shaking her head. "You couldn't have come with me, no matter what. You already made your betrayal once and decided to own up to the consequences. There's nothing else that you'll be able to do about it. If you weren't so naïve you would realize that you would've caught onto me before it was too late." She smiled, and Renzo had no idea how to tell her fake smiles apart from her real ones anymore. "You really were an idiot for liking me!"

"That's not true!" Renzo clenched his fist, sending his nails biting into his palm. "I may have been an idiot, but liking you was never the reason!" What did he have to say to make this not happen? What could he possibly do to change her mind, to make it so that he could follow her? Was there anything? His heartbeat and mind were racing at the same pace, neither making any helpful progress.

Emília walked back towards him but didn't erase the barrier. Izumo stayed asleep in her arms, oblivious for an entire year towards what was happening to her. The helicopter was coming closer and would land before Renzo even stood a chance of breaking through either wall that was presented to him.

"It's stupid, though," Emília said, voice almost a whisper. It strained Renzo's ears to hear her, but he was hanging onto every last word from her mouth. "All I really want to say is thank you for trusting me this entire time. I guess that makes me as much as an idiot as you." A ladder dropped to the ground, the helicopter not even bothering to land. "It was fun, Renzo. At least you didn't disappoint me. You definitely exceeded my expectations!"

Emília turned to walk away. Renzo pushed against the barrier trying to reach her, but his actions failed as much as his voice did. He wanted to scream after her, the same way Bon had done for him. He wanted to say everything he was feeling, but there wasn't any way to communicate it in time. She would know all those thing already, and he would only sound like an idiot for repeating himself.

Then she was gone. Emília was gone and Izumo was gone with her and the entire plan was gone to shit. The barrier only disappeared once the helicopter was missing from the sky, sudden and without warning. Renzo had still been pressing against it and fell over as a result. He didn't get up, staring at the ground where Emília had been standing.

"Man, I'm gonna take all the blame for this one, huh?" Renzo muttered. "I guess karma really does exist…"

And Renzo knew for a fact that this was exactly what he deserved.

This story has a lot of notes that goes with it, so here we go.

The original Karma one-shot was written months ago, a bit after chapter 49 was translated. As such, it doesn't contain some of the important information included in the two chapters that have come out since then. It was really meant as sort of a theoretical "what if" piece and was written to be turned in for a creative writing assignment. It has been since then edited, lines fixed and clarified, and an additional scene added in to make the arc of the story go at least a bit smoother.

Karma, as is now, is really only a pilot episode. In other words, it's really just a test piece for an idea and characters and writing that just wanted to be done at the time. As canon progresses and things get wired out, I will eventually rewrite this into a proper chapter story that not only elaborates on the time gaps, but continues the story past this point. When it will be written... well, that's anyone's guess.

The names of the cram school students that are not a part of canon are OCs that have their own separate story that will one day be written. The Ao no Exorcist stories I have in mind all subtly work off of each other, so that's why they're even mentioned at all. Those stories will, also, be written someday.

Well, I think that covers about everything. I hope that this was an enjoyable story for everyone to read.

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