Truth or dare with Eragon 2, Adventures on Earth

Chapter 1

This chapter is rated: K

There was wind and ice. It was all blowing about in the Alaskan tundra. The bare desolate landscape seemed to be nothing but a giant blank piece of paper with tons of snow blowing about it. But there was something here.

About five hundred feet bellow this freezing wasteland was a rather musty old room. It's walls were made of cement, and old grimy computer panels glowed in the dark. Hanging from the ceiling by a rusty wire, a flickering sixty watt light bulb was hung, and the room was illuminated and darkened for what seemed like forever.

But then just when It seemed like the old room would never see movement or anything exciting again, something happened.

There was a great flash of blinding blue light, and two people appeared. The last two people the people wanted to see. These people would cause destruction and suffering beyond imaginable. These people would destroy things. They would burn things. They would tell jokes of the worst kind. And they were of course, Angela and Orik.

"How did we do that?" The dwarf man whispered excitedly, hardly able to hold in his new excitement.

"We just left Alagaesia, by a nuclear worm hole to earth using my magic flue powder." The old witch explained happily.

She fumbled around in the dimly lite room until she found the light bulb. She twisted it into it's socket tightly, and the room was illuminated. In the clear light, It was clear that this small underground room was once he center of something important. Something large and important.

There were three large cement cylinders in the back of the room. They emitted a electrical humming sound, and each one was about ten feet in diameter, and went up through the top of the ceiling up into the earth above them.

"What is that?" Orik asked in awe.

"Well those are the cement casing for nuclear rockets!" Angela explained in a happy tone. "Each one holds a giant exploding rocket in it, and they were used to destroy huge things I helped de-!"

"No no!" Orik said in a now panicked tone, "What is that? Will it hurt us?"

Angela followed his gaze to none other than the light bulb. Angela sighed and gave a annoyed look at Orik.

"That is a light bulb." She said in a bored tone. "It makes light. And it won't hurt you. Now would you like to come over here and see these nuclear weapons?"

"Noooooooo..." Orik mumbled under his breath, "It's soooo... shiny... it just lights up the darkness... I want to touch it..."

Orik reached out his dwarf fingers and reached them towards the light. Angela new what was about to happen, but instead of stopping him, she just watched with with an evil grin plastered onto her face..

Orik touched the light bulb and was electrocuted. He buzzed around for a moment, and then fell down to the floor.

"IT HURT ME!" Orik sobbed "THE PRETTY DIAMOND STUNG ME!"

"SHUT UP!" Angela yelled back. "It's not a 'diamond' Orik, It's a light bulb! And you better not go around touching them!"

Orik mumbled about his bad luck while while stumbling around. His beard hairs were all sticking out at awkward angles, and the smell of bunt hair followed him.

"Perhaps you better take a seat Orik." Angela said shoving him onto he ground.

"Now let me explain about where we are..." Angela said while pacing back and forth.

"We are on earth. The humans on earth are not used to seeing dwarfs. So I picked a date where it was OK to be an elf, dwarf, or other mythical creature. That date is May 21, 2011. It's OK to be a dwarf today, because the worldwide 'Lord of the Rings' convention is today, and everyone will just think that your some random overenthusiastic movie nerd. All you have to do is act like a human. Did you get that Orik?"

But Orik was not paying attention at all. He was sitting cross legged beneath the light bulb staring up into it with a dreamy expression of pure joy.

"ORIK!" Angela hollered, "Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Um... Yes of course I was..." Orik said in the most confident voice he cold muster. "I just have one question... What is this place?"

"Well..." Angela started again.

"We are in an American Nuclear battle silo five hundred feet below the ground! It was abandoned after the nuclear launch system went automated! In fact, I was the one who taught the humans about nuclear fusion!" I remember when I was talking to this old man named Einstein, he was really smart as far as human witches and and sages go..."

Orik watched as Angela went on about her achievements with mankind and their crazy rockets and bombs and light bulbs.

"Um Angela... I was just wondering, I'm kind of hungry, so I was wondering... Um how do you get out of this little cave thing?"

Angela's look of excitement vanished from her face. She ran to the back of the room behind the concrete pillars.

"NOOOOOOO!" She screamed, "They closed up the door!"

Orik stood up and walked over to where Angela was standing. There was a steel door there, but it had been sloppily covered with cement, with a sign that said 'Do not enter' on it.

"Well that's a stupid place to put a do not enter sign!" Orik exclaimed, "Where already inside!"

"Were going to die in here!" Angela wailed, "Were going to run out of air!"

"Well why don't you just turn on the air conditioning?" Orik asked walking over to a knob on the wall.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Angela screamed, "THAT LAUNCHES THE MISSILES!"

But it was to late. Orik had already turned the knob. A deep humming noise filled the room, and then a loud explosion noise. But then, just when it seemed that all was lost, A cool breeze came through the musty room.

"What happened?"

"I turned on the AC... Duh..." Orik mumbled, "That button launches the missiles..."

Angela walked over to where Orik was and saw another identical knob protruding from the wall right next to the AC knob.

"Well that's a really stupid design..." Angela said in a relived voice. "Just make sure you don't mix them up, OK?"

"Whatever..." Orik said, "I'm going to go look at the light bulb."

Angela sighed as Orik waddled back over tot he light bulb and began staring deep into its depths. Angela on the other hand began to rummage around, and soon found an old cup. She filled the cup up with some of her magic flue powder, and began to write a letter.

Dear Eragon/Arya,

Sorry to bother you.

We are trapped underground in Alaska.

It would be really great if you could come and save us.

Just use The included flue powder to come over to earth using the enclosed directions.

Please, Please, please, come and save us soon,

From: Angela and Orik.

PS: Can you bring some food? Orik is hungry.

Angela finished her letter, and stuffed it into the cup. She then threw it at the ground, and watched it disappear with the usual flash of white light. When she was done, she went and sat down next to Orik.

I hope they find us soon... Angela thought to herself, Orik is going to drive me crazy...

AN: HOORAY! the squeal has arrived! I know I said that I was going to make this 4 months from now, but I couldn't pass the chance. What better day to post a doomsday fan fiction then on May 21, 2011! (The end of the world day)

Well, I kinda got bored of writing serious stuff all together. Comedy is my ZONE. I know the tittle says 'Adventures on earth' but most of the story will in in fact be taking place in America, and China. Yes that's right I said china.

So if you want to see the next chapter I want 10 reviews! come on people it's only 10! I'm going to be very disappointed if i only get 7! If you review enough I will put you in the epilogue. So go ahead and press that button. If you do so

you shall recive more words by me.

PS: whoever left that Japanese comment on my other story... your words made no sense. I even translated your message at Google translate. I don't get it. So this little message is just for you...

ご挨拶日本の男は、あなたのご意見はまったく意味が行われた。しかし、あなたは英語を話すことができるか、少なくとも型をそれを知っている。それ以外の場合はどのようにこの話を読んだことがありますか？これは、英語で書かれています。私はあなたに私...

Yeah, idk if i did that right, but there you go...

'HOLLA!'