Author's note: This story takes place in a human high school AU. The main pairing is USCan. Side pairings are RusCan, PruCan, PruAus, ItaCan, GerCan, GerIta, NedCan, SpaAus, FrUK(maybe), LitCan, LitPol, CuCan(maybe), Giripan, and Ameipan….for now…list of side pairings may grow as story progresses. Yeah I like a lot of pairing, but it depends on the story for me on weather I like a pairing or not. Involves Fem!Canada, Fem!Austria, and Fem!Japan. More gender bent characters may appear later. I update when I have time, no set times. I hope you enjoy my first fanfiction. R&R please.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
Chapter 1: Alfred's List of Problems
AMERICA'S P.O.V.
I, Alfred F. Jones, the hero, am crazy for Madeline Williams. No doubt about it. She's shy, cute, funny, sexy, and smart. She has long golden hair, violet eyes, and ivory skin. She's perfect for me. I want her to be mine. Sakura says if I love her, she makes me happy, and I would be stalking her if I didn't that I should go for it. I thinks she has been reading too much shojo, but my best friend has a point. I should go for it. I just have a few problems.
Problem #1: I'm not the only one who likes her. Ivan Braginski, Carlos Machado, Ludwig Beilschmidt, Lars the Stoner (I don't know his last name), and Gilbert Beilschmidt also like her. I know Ivan likes her because Ivan is an obsessive psychopathic commie creep and Maddie is with him all the time and Maddie is the most perfect thing on the face of the universe so why wouldn't he be obsessed by now. Ivan and I also hate each other so if he ever found out I like Maddie he would surely ask her out. Carlos, another commie, is constantly hitting her and teasing her, but she is fine with it. He is totally like an elementary school boy with a crush. Okay….I may have been being paranoid when I put Ludwig on this list, but I have a good reason! They have a lot in common and hang out a lot at his house. He also looks at her. He has to love her by now! How could he not? Lars is her best friend who is also a senior. And a druggie as his title 'the stoner' may imply. They eat lunch on the roof together almost every day. I know because I saw them! Dating is how people fall in love, and the most common form of dating is eating together. They are indirectly dating! Gilbert, Ludwig's perverted older brother, totally has a thing for her. Even if it is just physical. He is always touching and flirting with her even though he already has a girlfriend, Analiese Edelstein. That cheating jerk! Ironically I heard Analiese broke up with Antonio, the boyfriend she had before Gilbert, because he cheated on her. Well, Analiese sure knows how to pick 'em. This list is still growing. I think I saw Feliciano Vargas staring at her boobies the other day and I saw Toris Laurinaitis talking to her about class yesterday. Who just talks about class anymore? So if I want her I want her I have to stand in line. A line that people keep cutting in front of me in.
Problem #2: My father, Arthur Kirkland, hates her father, Francis Bonnefoy, with an undying passion. Lucky for me Francis hates him back. Nobody but them knows what started this fight, but everyone knows it is as old as time. Once Iggy even got a wild black bear (don't ask me how because I don't know), covered Francis in honey as he slept, put the bear in Francis's room afterward, and super glued the doors and windows shut from the outside. Man that was hard to explain to the cops without getting Iggy arrested. Another time Francis paid every single prostitute (both male and female) in the state to come to our house at the same time under Iggy's name. Iggy wasn't amused. Yet another time Iggy sold Francis's social security number to an illegal Mexican immigrant for ten cents. Francis still doesn't know about that yet. One other time Francis replaced all of Iggy's clothes with women's lingerie. Funnily enough all the lingerie were the correct size. Boy was Iggy pissed, it took an entire month for me to find his clothing for him because Iggy wouldn't leave his room (by the way they were in a thrift shop in Quebec). I have a ton of quaint little examples of their hatred just like these. The closest thing to friendly interaction these two have is when Francis flirts with Iggy just to piss him off. It is always funny to see how Iggy reacts. I think they assume that if Maddie and I have any relationship whatsoever that it is one of rivalry. The only way Iggy would ever consent of any romantic relations with Maddie would be if I conspired with him to break her heart to spite Francis because that is totally something he would do. I'm surprised he hasn't already. I wouldn't be able to do that to my Maddie. Francis would probably support us if we got together because it would piss off Iggy, he is cool like that, and he is sort of a pervert. Not that I care about their consent. They can go and Fruk themselves for all I care, but if we ever got together they would keep us apart in the long run with their rivalry.
Problem #3: We hardly know each other. There are a few reasons for this. One, being Iggy and Francis's hatred. Two, she is in all honors and grade below me (she is a freshman I'm a sophomore) so we only have the same lunch period together. Three, I'm a jock and she is a nerd. Those aren't exactly compatible high school social classes if you didn't already know from every cheesy movie ever made that involves high school. Lastly, is that her small number of friends seem to never let her out of their sight.
Problem #4: I looked in to my adoption records a little earlier with Iggy and Maddie might be my sister. We apparently were both adopted from adoption centers in the same area, are a reasonable age apart for siblings (one year), and sort of resemble each other. It is a long shot, but anything is possible in my situation. Well, that might really suck if we really are related. Any possibility I ever had of dating her goes out the window. Iggy and Francis would be probably overjoyed if we were blood relatives because we would never date, we would have some sort of connection to our past, and they would have the perfect alibi as to why they were in one another's house. Well, as I said before they can go and Fruk themselves.
I, Alfred F. Jones, the hero, need to overcome all of these obstacles if I want her to fall for me. That means that I will have to make sure no one else gets her first, put an end to Iggy and Francis's feud once and for all, get to know her better, and pray we aren't related. Being the hero I can totally do this, but I hope I don't get more complications along the way.