Drift looked down at the supine form of Perceptor on the berth. The scientist was still being repaired, even after spending quite a bit of time in the CR tank. It was obvious that he had not been upgraded with wartime systems and armor. The scientist was, as he had been, no more than a civilian. The only thing that made him any different was the Autobot badge he wore.
"Although I know that asking would be rather silly and therefore you have not asked, considering that I am still in need of repairs…" Perceptor said softly. He brought his optics online and looked up at Drift. "I assure you, I am feeling much better."
Drift smiled. "Well, the medic did say you were doing better, but sometimes I like to make sure of things myself. Besides…there are other things besides physical pain."
"Oh," Perceptor turned his optics to the ceiling. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you, seeing as you were the one who ensured I survived the skirmish with Turmoil, if you could call getting ripped through the torso with a highly powered blaster cannon a 'skirmish'…my repairs are taking a little longer than normal considering that some of the supplies are not readily available and to be rather honest…I don't know if I can rejoin Kup's unit in the state that I am in."
"I don't think they'd force you to go back on duty with repairs…"
Perceptor gave a small smirk. "Ah ha, yes, well, that is not what I meant. I meant…I am not a warrior, Drift. I never have been, despite my Autobot allegiance. In the beginning, I was needed to help upgrade and invent weapons, new armor, as well as new methods of travel. It was quite easy to not be a warrior when the war was just starting, after all, no one thought that it would escalate to a full scale civil war that would go beyond our very planet. Assignments kept coming, and I was happy to complete them. But then I realized other things, like resentment from warriors who felt that I was hiding behind my assignments, all in the name of discovery and scientific advancement, to keep from getting my hands dirty, if you will…"
"Perceptor, that's…you know as well as I do that it's not true," Drift frowned.
"No, Drift, it is very true."
"Perceptor…"
"I would be inclined to agree with you if I had not been injured. I almost cost the unit the mission. I couldn't be quiet…as you can see it can be a problem with me…and I gave away our position. If you had not been there, Turmoil would probably have hunted us down and destroyed us, rescued prisoners and all," Perceptor turned his optics away, his voice sounding a bit defeated. "I was pretending that I could go on as I had. That war couldn't change me, ever. When that shot hit me, it was the worst pain I had ever felt. I'm sure you know what it is like to be hit."
"…yes," Drift agreed, not willing to let Perceptor know that he had never been hit by a blast as powerful as the one that Turmoil had dealt the scientist.
"I thought, as it happened, that I was going to be deactivated, and that I had cost the others the mission. It wouldn't have been the first time I had gotten in the way. I felt that it served me right, for being as naive as I am. But…I am obviously still online, thanks to you…no, don't take it that I am ungrateful. In fact, if you had not rescued me, you would not have given me the chance to contemplate the fact that I need to change or else I will only cause others a grave inconvenience." He paused. "And also, that I need to admit how utterly afraid I am of this war, and what it might do to me."
"You make it sound like you are a coward," Drift said. "I don't agree with that."
Perceptor smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment, but with all due respect, you've known me for only a short while."
"I am sure that no other scientist would be in the mix as…"
"Oh no, there are quite a few. And they're rather good shots as well. Even if…their procedures in the scientific field could use finer tuning, and they often require outside help…"
"Then what are you suggesting? That you want to be upgraded as a warrior?"
"Actually," Perceptor hesitated. "I was wondering if you would be willing to help me upgrade. To reconfigure…somewhat like how you were reconfigured."
Drift opened his mouth, ready to protest. "I…Perceptor, that's…" A highly protected secret. "I mean, I was only upgraded like this because…" It was a gift. A gift I promised not to share. He met the scientist's optics, unable to say yes, but finding it hard to say no. He raised his palms helplessly.
"Oh," Perceptor said sullenly. "I see. Well…it's alright, I suppose. I was only asking because your modifications seemed rather…unobtrusive. And…well, I liked the way the work was done. I mean, I could try to do it myself, but even as someone who knows the nature of modification work, it's admittedly easier and less time consuming if you have someone…"
"Perceptor," Drift started. "When I was upgraded, I was told that I couldn't use my upgrades as a means for revenge, or a means to make war. I went to that ship to help the Autobot prisoners. I can understand if you do not want to be a burden on your team mates, but you make it seem as if you want to turn from a rather peaceful and useful non-combatant to a warrior without hesitations. There's a certain lethality to that. Trust me…I know. Are you sure that's a path you want to take? To…kill?" He met Perceptor's optics. "To be honest with you, I admire the fact that war has not turned you into a mindless killing machine. Not that all warriors are mindless, or killing machines, but you have to admit…we were all civilians once. I would give anything to return to a mindset much like your own."
Drift looked down at his hands. "I can never do that. I've caused the deactivation of many bots, and it will never leave me, no matter how many lives I save or what I do for the Autobots. But it's not about Decepticons and Autobots for me anymore. Is that what you want it to be for you? About factions and lines, with only the good bots being the ones on your side?"
Perceptor frowned to himself. "No." He vented air. "I just…do not wish to be a burden. I just want for when Kup needs someone to do something, and I am the only one available, that I can do the job without him having to look to someone else because I cannot do it."
Drift cycled air. "If I don't help you, you're going to try the modifications anyway, aren't you?"
"I am programmed to seek knowledge about anything that might present itself to me," Perceptor replied, shrugging. "I could try to refrain from doing it, but I will eventually become engrossed in it and pursue the development of the process…"
"Alright, alright," Drift held up his hands in defeat. "I'll help you."
Perceptor brightened. "Would you really?"
"But only if you promise me something."
"Well, what?"
"That you never use your modifications for anything other than to help, and to defend," Drift said solemnly, his optics meeting Perceptor's, glowing brightly. "That you only use it to help the Autobots, to assist them, and to protect yourself, and to never use them for baseless murder or hatred. That is not why these modifications were developed. You must understand…I need you to promise this to help me come to terms with the promise I am breaking in helping you."
"You…" Perceptor shook his head. "No, I cannot do it then, if it means making you break your word…" He tried to sit up and winced. Drift helped him up, supporting his shoulder and being mindful of his injuries, especially the temporary patch over the right side of his torso. "Since I know how much you've gone through just so that others might conceive you as trustworthy…"
"Perceptor, if I help you, and if you promise these things, then I won't tell anyone about my involvement in your upgrades. Besides, I don't need to prove to anyone my trustworthiness, no one but to myself," He met Perceptor's optics. "I did go to Turmoil's ship on my own volition, after all. The fact that you and the others were there is a coincidence."
"Even so, Drift, I don't want you to betray the very bots who helped you. I cannot promise on a broken promise. Surely you understand the moral logic." He slowly brought his legs over the side of the berth. Drift helped him as he struggled to stand. "Although you will have to forgive me when I say I will attempt the modifications myself, despite this. In fact, while you were talking, I managed to begin outlining the process of the modifications based on my own understanding of modifications and reverse engineering what I have seen of your own…" He waved away Drift's hand as he moved to a storage cabinet and began searching for supplies. "The process itself is not that complicated, it is the configuration…"
"Perceptor?"
"Hmm?" The scientist did not look up.
"If I'm not going to help you, then promise me one thing?"
Perceptor turned from the cabinet. "Yes? What is it?"
"Promise me you won't alter yourself so much that you will be someone completely different," Drift motioned to the scientist. "Even though I barely know you, I'd like to consider you as a friend. Actually…as someone I look up to, if you'd accept that."
Perceptor smiled. "Although I cannot allow you to help me, as in doing so you would have broken an oath that I believe is essential for you to keep in order to give your new moral stance a solid backing, I can promise that I will not use these upgrades to become a mindless killing machine, as you so eloquently put it," he smirked. "And I will also ensure that I will not alter myself to the point of that I am unrecognizable, both physically and mentally." He took a tool from the cabinet and shut the doors. "I believe that a mech is and always will be what he started off as. Alliances aside, the willingness to be who you are now was always there. Sometimes people are misguided, and it is not my place to decide what is right or wrong on a universal plane, black and white with no gray in between, but if I believe that you are now what you have always been, then I do not believe that I can be anything more than what I am. Upgrades change that very little. In the end, what your spark is will always be, even if we ourselves fail to recognize it immediately."
Drift smiled. "Thank you."
"No, thank you. I have many comrades and team mates. I cannot say that I have many friends. I wouldn't wish to destroy a friendship while it is in its early stages of development."
"Is…everything an experiment for you?"
"Not everything, but many things. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Drift gave a nod and moved to the door of the med bay. When he turned to say goodbye, Perceptor had already retrieved a sheet of plating and had begun work cutting it. Drift smirked and left, letting the door shut softly behind him.
