I'm not really sure when I first knew. Maybe it was that first day, when I frisked him. The way he smirked at me when I was finished made me wish I hadn't.
The day he shaved off that gorram lip ferret was the day I knew for sure. I went up to the bridge and there he was with his dinosaurs. He turned at the sound of my footsteps and my breath caught in the chest.
"Something you wanted, Zoë?"
His question broke me from my thoughts which had been rapidly turning into day dreams. I prayed that he hadn't noticed. "Just checking on our course."
He looked a little disappointed but it had been hard to tell in the low lights. "About another three hours or so."
"Good. Wanna get this job over as fast as possible." Then I did something before I even thought about it: I smiled. He looked a little surprised. As I left the bridge, the woman in me wanted him to watch me go or call me back. I didn't turn to see if he was looking.
As I headed down to my bunk, a song my mother used to hum often around my father when I was very little and he was still alive came to mind. I shut the door and in the privacy of my bunk sang along to my mother humming in my mind.
"I've tried but I can't seem to get myself to think of anything but you."