Three Years
Disclaimer: Belongs to whoever owns it, definitely not me.
Rating: PG
Pairing: M/A
Summary: Three years on, and he still can't see I'm bleeding
Author's Note: After my first angst-ridden M/A one-shot, I thought I'd try something a little less tormenting. Enjoy!
It's been three years. Three years since I saved the world from a bunch of psychotic, evil cult loonies. Yep, that's me. Superhero freak girl Max. She saved the world, but she can't even save herself. Now that's just sad. But I guess, in the end, the only person I can blame is myself. It's my own stupid fault I didn't see what was staring me in the face all along, and so naturally it's my own stupid fault he didn't believe me either. I uttered those three little words to his face, but he stood staring at me as if I were an alien from a distant galaxy. I guess it didn't help that I laughed it off at the first hint of disbelief glittering in his hazel green orbs, hugged him, and once again told him what a valuable asset he was to our cause. He hugged me back of course and made some lame ass joke about how I couldn't live without him. And that hurt. Because when it comes down to it; it's the damned truth.
I broke it off with Logan a while back now. It wasn't fair giving him false hope; even with the welcomed absence of the retrovirus, it just wasn't the same anymore. With all that was happening around me; my family was more important than any selfish personal needs and I simply moved on. Healed my old wounds just to carve open some fresh ones. Three years on, and he still can't see I'm bleeding . . .
"Hey Boo!" Cindy walked up the stairs at Crash and promptly positioned her rear at the nearest table; the table that was also currently lucky to be in the presence of Ms-Still-carrying-the-woes-of-the-world-on-her-shoulders. Taking one look at the distracted look on her transgenic friend's face, OC let out a dramatic sigh,
"Ok girl, I'll try not take offence at the fact you're just ignoring me."
"Oh - what?" Max said not quite snapping out of her reverie yet.
OC shook her head, "Never mind Boo. What you still doing here? I thought you were headin' home after work?"
Max shrugged, "Changed my mind."
"Whatever you say honey."
Max looked up from her empty glass, "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"You know exactly what that means."
Max remained stoically silent, her right index finger circling the drop of beer on the table.
"You do realise that tonight's the perfect opportunity for you to have that long overdue talk with your boy."
"He's not my boy," Max snarled through gritted teeth.
"Right Max and I'm a closeted heterosexual."
"Oh wow OC, that's great news!" came the unwelcome outburst from an incoming Sketchy. "So you know, I was wondering," he said inviting himself to sit down, "Do you wanna go out some time?" This was followed by a wiggle of the eyebrows, Cindy's hand slapping him round the head, and an utterance of "fool!"
Max couldn't help but crack a smile, "Where's-" The rest of the question fell dead on her lips as the transgenic in question made an appearance just a minute after Sketchy.
"Hey Max, OC," Alec greeted hovering beside the seated Cindy.
"Hey Bro," Sketchy intervened feigning hurt, "don't I get a hello?"
Alec rolled his eyes, the gesture only which Max from her position could catch, "Hey buddy!" he over exaggerated, moving in for a manly hug. Sketchy's eyes widened in horror, "You can get off me now," he managed to choke out from underneath the huge lump that was obstructing his view.
Max stifled a giggle; it wouldn't do for her to inflate Alec's already over inflated ego any further.
Straightening himself up, Alec slapped Sketchy hard on the back, "So what's going on here then?"
"We were just discussing what a nightmare it's gonna be with you two hanging around our home for two weeks," Cindy piped up.
"Its not our fault we haven't got anywhere to live," defended Alec.
"Exactly," Sketchy added.
"What so your kitchen just happened to blow up?" Max pressed eyebrows raised in mock.
"That," Alec retaliated, "Was an accident."
"Yeah, cos leaving the gas tap open and playing around with lighters and matches is an accident."
"That, my transgenic friend," Cindy finished for Max, "is stupidity. And the both of you seem to possess it in truckloads."
"Hey, now that's not fair," Alec argued. "It was Sketchy. Not me. I had nothing to do with it."
Sketchy glared up at the X5, "Dude, you left the gas tap open."
"Yeah by accident, hence my earlier defence," Alec huffed as if talking to a child.
Max and OC shared a glance across the table, a silent conversation being held between the two females,
"Let's get out of here."
"Great idea, that way we can lock 'em out."
"And not let them in, good plan boo."
"Let's go."
The two males, so engrossed in their argument over whose fault it actually was that they no longer had a home, failed to notice just when their new housemates had disappeared. It wasn't until two hours later that they ended up at Max and OC's front door, banging mercilessly on the rotten wood. If he wanted, he could have easily kicked the door in, but Alec thought it best to avoid the wrath of Original Cindy.
"Hey come on ladies," Sketchy yelled for the umpteenth time, "This ain't fair!"
"I'll open this door on one condition," Cindy's voice seeped through the cracks.
"Anything," Sketchy muttered slumped against the wall.
"That I don't hear a peep from either of you for the rest of the night – no squabbling like the little boys you really are."
"Deal," Alec groaned, "Now open the door already!"
There was never a more welcomed sound than the unbolting of an old wooden front door.
"Finally," sighed Alec stepping into the girls' humble living space.
"Aah, what did I say?" Cindy warned shutting the door after Sketchy.
"Not a word," Sketchy mimicked zipping his mouth.
Alec nodded enthusiastically in agreement as he collapsed on to the couch.
Barely containing a yawn, Cindy left the two boys for some much needed sleep. Not trusting they'd keep to their word, she made sure her bedroom door was firmly shut – just in case.
"Hey!" Sketchy called out, "How comes you get the couch?"
"Cos I do," reasoned Alec.
"That ain't a reason."
"Yeah it is."
"No it ain't."
"Yeah it is."
"No it ain't."
"Yo boys, shut up!" came OC's howl from the direction of her bedroom. Alec promptly dropped his head on to the cushions and slammed his eyes shut.
Sketchy followed suit, except he had no soft landing. His head met the hard wooden floor, "Ouch!"
Alec chuckled, "Night Sketch."
"Yeah, night," Sketchy grumbled back.
Funnily enough, it was Sketchy who had no problems sleeping that night . . .
Perfectly still, Alec lay staring up at the ceiling for what must have been at least an hour. He'd had a brief spell of sleep before waking up again as was now customary. It was always around the same time; three, four in the morning. He could tell by just looking out the window; the perfect arrangement of nature's greatest light show was a soldier's trusty friend in the night, and strangely the bright twinkling stars soothed him. Taking care not to tread on Sketchy, who was now unceremoniously sprawled across the floor, Alec made his way over to the window that showcased the night sky. He stood leaning against the glass pane; staring up. Down there was too gloomy, too desolate, even though they had a right to be a part of that world, Alec was searching for something better.
The cynic in him laughed. Every cloud having a silver lining was a waste of a joke. In this post apocalyptic, post familiars world, the transgenics may have had a right to live, but were they really living at all? America was once again a divided union, hatred spewing from the eyes and tongues of the ignorant masses. There were some who tried to understand, to coexist, but the fear in their eyes was always lurking. Only a blessed handful didn't give a damn about what DNA you had, and Alec was glad that his friends were among the few of them. Some of them the most unlikely of suspects; Alec chanced a glance at Sketchy. His mouth was wide open and he was currently slobbering all over Max's floor. Alec smirked, he really did wonder. His musings were however cut short by a familiar voice wading into the silence.
"What are you thinking?"
Alec's head jerked away from the window over to the door way, where Max stood clad in a vest top and loose pyjama bottoms. His perfect vision allowed him to see every speck of detail on her face, even in the night time darkness of the apartment.
"I was just wandering why if a mentally challenged person such as our dear friend Sketchy over there," he jerked a thumb in Sketchy's direction, "Can see passed the barcodes, why can't the millions of people down there?" he pointed out the window.
Max shrugged as she quietly walked across the room to join Alec by the window, "Well that my friend is the million dollar question." A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth; she looked serene, peaceful, as if the hundreds of problems they faced had ceased to exist.
"So Max, wanna tell me what's up?" Alec frowned.
Max stared at him blankly, "Why?"
"Just the fact that you appear to have had a complete personality transplant since Crash; it's kinda got me a little worried."
Max let out a quiet chuckle, "I've just been thinking that's all."
"Right," Alec answered dubiously, "about?"
"Me," Max said simply.
Alec raised his brows.
Max elaborated, "I've been so caught up in our plight against the Familiars, and now our fight against prejudice, I think I've forgotten to live. I haven't had the chance to actually stop and think; what do I want from life?"
Her voiced thoughts were greeted with brief silence, before Alec asked the question she knew was coming,
"And what do you want from life, Max?"
Max sighed. Turning her head, she was now facing the window head on. The sight that greeted her was Seattle's beautiful night skyline. She could easily make out Space Needle; her haven. The streets were quiet; a few vehicles driving passed now and again. The stars and moon shone brighter in the sky than all the artificial lights put together down below.
"What everyone wants," Max finally answered.
"Which is what?" Alec asked staring down at her moonlit profile.
"To not be alone."
"Right," Alec muttered, running a tired hand back and forth through his hair.
Max turned back to look at him, surprised at his reaction. His expression was now tightly closed off, but Max could still make out the hint of sadness that was lurking in his expressive hazel green eyes, "Alec?"
"You know I heard Logan's found a new apartment close to his old penthouse."
Max sighed, "You still don't get it do you?"
"Get what Max?" Alec turned to face her, "Don't give me that garbage about you and Logan not being 'like that.' You may have broken it off with the man, but you still love Max. You always have. So just please, save yourself and the rest of us the misery, and go tell the man you love him!"
"Ok and when are you going to stop being a blind idiot and realise, I don't love him!" Max's temper had well and truly flared. It had been three years coming; she wondered how she'd managed to keep it bottled in for so long. But she had had enough; now was the time to be reckless, to throw caution to the wind and let rip; no matter what she stood to lose, "Damn it Alec! I love you. Do you get it now? Or do I have to make it clearer?" she seethed. "I love you." She prodded him hard in the chest.
Alec stumbled a few steps backwards, caught off guard by the vehemence behind her words, yet his ears were refusing to believe any of it. A cold, shocked silence captured the room, as Max stood staring at him; her face now streaked with tears. She hadn't even realised she was crying, she still didn't as a ghost of a smile flitted across her mouth, "Same response," she shook her head.
Alec was still stunned, confusion written all over his face.
"Three years ago, I told you exactly the same thing and surprise, surprise, your response hasn't changed at all."
"What?" Alec managed to croak out.
"Forget it Alec," Max shook her head, "I'll try again in another three years," she added sardonically.
"And how the hell am I supposed to forget that?" Alec asked grabbing her wrist and roughly spinning her back round to face him. He willed his heart rate to slow down but it was still refusing to comply. He softened his tone, "Are you serious?"
Max glared at him, "Do I look like I'm joking? Because this is really funny. Here I am pouring my heart out to you and you still look at me as if I'm a madwoman."
"I just – I," Alec stammered, looking anywhere but at Max for inspiration, "Why?" he finally blurted out, "How even?"
"Why does anything happen?" Max answered.
"But me?" Alec asked, disbelief still etched in every plane of his face.
"Is it really that hard to believe?" asked Max.
"Well given – well yeah. It is. I'm not good enough for you Max."
"Or is it that I'm too much for you Alec?" Max spat, "Look whatever Alec, I'm going to bed." Once again, she turned her back to him and tried to walk away, but once again, Alec instinctively reached out and grabbed her wrist preventing her leave. Max turned back towards him, "There isn't anything left to say."
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
And as if her heart hadn't already been trampled on, it broke into tinier shards if it were even possible.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, "It's just hard to get your head round something you never thought was possible, but have never stopped wanting all the same, being not so impossible after all."
A dangerous glint of hope sparked at the pit of Max's stomach, "What are you saying?"
Alec took a step closer to her; close enough so that she could see the flecks of green in his eyes and the ever so slight turn of his lips that told her his seriousness was a mere fictitious prelude to what would be following.
"That I have to be one of the most stupid, moronic and gutless wonders in the world," he said. Max would have said something had it not been for four very soft and very warm fingers currently keeping her lips shut. She wasn't complaining. "Three years, huh Maxie? Sorry but I think I win this round. I've been in love with you for much longer."
"Oh really?" Max quirked her brows, reluctantly removing Alec's fingers from her lips, "Well in that case, I feel a lot better, cos you're the brainless ass, not me."
"Fine by me, so long as we get to make up for lost time . . . and three years is a very long time," Alec wiggled his brows, and Max's smile was instantaneous as she playfully slapped him on the arm,
"Just shut up and kiss me."
"Yes ma'am."
And kiss her he did.
End.
A/N 2: Please review!