How Shaun and Yong Soo fucked up in Austrialia.
Yeah... So me and my friend somehow ended up getting another weird story written, this time for a pairing I strangely started shipping. Northern Ireland x Southern Korea! Yay~ Anyhoo, enjoy this wacky fic that involves OCs being smexy and stuffz.
Northern Korea sighed as she slumped down next to her friend, Republic of Ireland. The republic nation raised an eyebrow, but knew exactly why Yang was like this.
"You really need to get him a partner." She sighed again.
"I know that. I just don't know who to set him up with. I tried China, seeing as my stupid brother won't stop stalking him, but apparently there is too much hatred... Also Russia is NOT keen on sharing."
"I see your point." Cerys said. "What about Thailand or Vietnam?"
"Thailand is married to his Elephant, Vietnam is too boooorrring." Yang banged her head on the table multiple times, before sipping some of the coffee Cerys gave her.
"Ah, anyway, how's it going with your bro?"
"Ugghhhhh. Don't get me started! He is wearing TOTALLY NOT BADASS green skinny jeans now! Where the hell did he even buy those?! Plus they were way too tight around his crotch last time we visited your place."
Yang turned to her friend with a smirk. "Lightbulb moment."
Cerys raised one of her overly thickened eyebrows that she'd obviously tried to pluck that morning. "What? Have you figured out how to get our brothers out of our faces?"
"Yes. You see... We pair them together!"
"Le gasp!" The Irish Republic gasped, dramatising the effect. "You mean... Ship our bros?! Isn't that like... SUICIDE!"
"Nuh uh!" Yang retorted. "I do see your point in the fact that they might blow some shit up, but they would be blowing stuff up hopefully AWAY from Asia. And Europe... Oh Idea! We set them up and ship them to Greenland. Because like hardly any people live there anyway."
"You might be on to something there. But how do we set them up?"
"Hmm... Fair point. Ask France?" Yang suggested.
"Nope. Not going near him again. Urgh." Cerys shuddered. "Not that I went near him when I was drunk and walked in on stuff... And walked in on him and Scotland. You can't tell me that happened because it didn't!"
Yang blinked. "Right. Ok. Didn't need to know that."
"...ANYWAY! Shaun and Yong Soo?"
"Oh yeah. How are we going to set them up exactly?"
"Uhhh... Lock them in a wardrobe together?" Cerys suggested.
"That might work... But we should make a back up plan just incase." Yang said.
"Uhm... We lock them in a rocket and send them into space?" Yang turned to her friend with an 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' face.
"No. We should do something unexpected like... Drugging their food so they get knocked out and we send them to Austria! ...there are kangaroos in Austria right?" Cerys raised an eyebrow.
"No, there are no kangaroos in Austria. You mean Australia?"
"Yeah! Austrialia! We send them there so they get lost in the wilderness and have to huddle together for warmth so it's a matter of gay or death!" Yang exclaimed, happy about her random plan B.
"You seem happy about your random plan B." The Actual Ireland pointed out the obvious. "So, let us put these awesome ass plans into actionnnn! But first I must browse my Tumblr!"
"... You don't have a Tumblr."
"Not yet I don't!"
Five minutes later...
"TUMBLR SUCKSSSS!"
"Really?! Whatever. Come help me draw Shaun making out with Yong Soo!"
Fifty minutes later...
"DAMNIT! How did they get outta the closet?!" Yang complained, slamming her coffee on the table, BADASSLY.
"Argh. Shaun must've had a paperclip on him or something. Or a knife. Or anything. I don't know, he's Irish." Cerys replied.
"... Aren't you Irish too?"
"NOT THE POINT YANG. LET US GO DRUG THEIR FOODZ!"
Elsewhere... A few hours later...
Shaun woke up, in a desert, wearing exactly what he was wearing that morning, a vest shirt and some strangely tight boxers. He looked to his left, what seemed like a white dressing gown was discarded next to him... Oh shit no...
"Hey Shaun! Where the hell are we?!" Yong Soo yelled.
The Irish boy looked up, to see his Korean crush shirtless, wearing baggy trousers and gleaming with sweat. The trousers only slightly sitting on his hips, showing off Yong Soo's strangely impressive midriff.
"Ayyyyy! Put your shirt on!" Shaun cried, pushing the Korean towards his shirt thingy.
"Oh don't be such a prude! Da-Ze!" South Korea smirked, as North Ireland's hands brushed against his waist.
"Mehhhhhhhhhh! Please put your frigging shirt on!" Shaun said. He frowned when Yong Soo made no move to do so. "We're in the middle of nowhere. Put your fucking shirt on."
Im's hands went to his waist, an eyebrow raised at the Irish male. Taking in his attire, Shaun was one to talk. "Nice underwear, Da-Ze."
"Huh? Oh yeah." The Irish male said, looking down. "Although to be honest, my trousers aren't over there, are they. Unlike your shirt."
"Fair point." Yong Soo noticed how tight the other's pants were, the perfect chance to hit on him. "Hey... Is that a pot o gold in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Well fuck you too." Shaun said, not impressed at the other's attempt at flirting. "I mean, I don't even have a boner, can't you think of something else to say?"
Instantly, the Asian was on top of him,grin wide on his face. "Your underwear says otherwise~"
"No! Stop it! Can we atleast find civillisation before you start trying to shag me?" Shaun protested, pushing Yong Soo away.
Again. But the Korean wasn't going to stop that easily. He started to play with the Irish boy's hair, now that the hat was gone, his cowlick was clear to see.
"Hey what are yo- Don't you dare. Don't you fucking touch it!" Shaun shouted, his own hand reaching out and pulling the Korean's curl.
Yong Soo let out a moan, as his ero-zone was pulled. Not that he wasn't turned on before, but now, he was turned ON.
"Oh great. Now you're aroused." Shaun said, sighing. "I'm probably going to have to deal with that, aren't I?"
"Oh don't treat it like a negative~ Da-Ze." The dark haired boy, still sitting on top of him, replied.
"Dude. We can't have sex. Atleast not here." Shaun protested. "We're in the middle of nowhere!"
"You didn't say we couldn't make out though~" The elder whispered in in his ear.
"But I'm hungry." Shaun complained.
"I know I'm aroused and everything, but that sounded extremely sexual."
"Eyyyyy! I just want some food." Shaun said. "And everything always sounds sexual to you, you dirty pervert."
Yong Soo sarcastically gasped. "Oh how you hurt me so, Shaun! But that stills sounds extremely sexual."
Shaun sighed. "We're in the middle of nowhere, I'm hungry, thirsty, and it's too fucking hot out here. We find civillisation, and THEN we can make out, you horny bastard."
"Oh FINE!" S Korea pouted, getting off N Ireland and putting his shirt thingy on. Shaun stood up, dusting off his shirt.
"Fucking finally. Now let's find some people."
"Uh Shaun? What the fuck is that giant rabbity thing jumping towards us?" Yong Soo asked, pointing at said creature.
"SHIT. NO. NOT AGAIN!" Shaun instantly started running away. "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! I HATE THIS COUNTRY SO MUCHHHH!"
"WHAT?! WHAT IS IT SHAUN?!" Yong Soo shouted, running away as well.
"ITS A FRICKEN KANGAROO!"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS A KANGAROO?!"
"A SIGN THAT AUSTRALIA IS NEAR!"
"OH SHIT... HEY SHAUN MAYBE WE'RE IN AUSTRALIA." Yong Soo yelled, the duo still running.
"NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!" Shaun snapped back.
"Heyyyy! NO NEED TO BE SO FUCKING RUDE." Yong Soo shouted back.
"WHATEVERRRR! HEY! THERES A HOUSE UP AHEAD!"
"OH HEY THERE REALLY IS. QUICK GET IN." Yong Soo yelled, looking in the direction Shaun had pointed.
The two rushed in through the door, and into the living room. What they found, was definitely not expected, amd very disturbing, so disturbing that what they saw cannot be explained. Only three things can be recalled, Australia, New Zealand, and R-18.
"AHH WHAT THE FUCK?!" Yong Soo yelled, running back out the house.
"Hey you idiot! Don't go back out there!" Shaun shouted. "The fucking Kangaroo is out there!"
"I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT! THATS WORSE THAN WHEN I WALKED IN ON CHINA AND RUSSIA!" S Korea yelled back from outside the door. "THAT MAY EXPLAIN WHY THEY WANT TO KILL ME THOUGH!"
"YONG SOO GET BACK IN HERE! THAT FUCKING KANGAROO WILL KILL YOU!" Shane shouted.
Yong Soo was NOT going back in there, not if Australia doing R-18 with New Zealand was going to be happening in there. The Korean shuddered, trying to get that image from his head.
As he did so, he didn't notice the Kangaroo sneaking up on him until it was too late.
"GAGHHHH! SHAAUUUUNNN HEEELLLPPPP MEEE!"
Elsewhere...
Cerys giggled at Yang's snorting whilst they spied on the duo, desperately defending themselves against a kangaroo. Yong Soo's dress like shirt had been practically ripped off his body, and Shaun was obviously turned on by this. How they were not fruking yet was a mystery to the both of them.
"Oh God... Imagine if they get bitten by a koala!" Cerys cried, still laughing.
"Pffttt. Shaun would probably tell Yong it was poisonous!" Yang was almost in tears she had laughed so much.
"No but... one of the One Direction members... got bitten by a koala... and he thought he got aids or something!" Cerys exclaimed. "I-I tricked Shaun into believing that was possible!"
"Ahahahahaha~ That's bloody hilarious!" Yang chuckled, clutching her stomach to try and control her laughter. "Oh god, now I'm starting to talk like you."
"Ha! Suck it."
"I'd... Rather not." Yang commented, turning back to her spying. "How have they not given up yet?"
"I don't know, but your brother can punch!" Cerys commented as she watched Yong Soo attacked the kangaroo.
"What the hell is your bro doing? Where did he get that cauldron?!" The Korean girl pointed to a black pot that seemed to be filled with gold coins.
"I don- wait. It's st. Patrick's day. Of course he has gold." Cerys facepalmed. "Maybe if he feeds it to the kangaroo it'll go away! "
"HEY IDIOT! FEED THE GOLD TO THE FRICKEN KANGAROOO!"
"... You know he can't hear you."
"Oh hush. Doesn't he have magic? Why doesn't he use that instead of trying to feed a kangaroo gold?"
"How would creating gay sky illusions help him defeat a kangaroo?"
"That would distract it while they run...? Actually why isn't Austrialia coming out to tell them off yet?"
"Because he's busy doing R-18 stuff with New Zealand." Republic Ireland explained, planting yaoi images in her friend's brain. "And Toby is topping."
Back in Austrialia...
Shaun clanged the heavy metal pot on the Marsupial's head, knocking the kangaroo out. He turned to smirk at the cowering Asian, who looked so damn smexy with half his clothes ripped off. No, bad brain, stop thinking about Yong Soo like that.
"Heh, you liking what you see?" The Southern Korean smirked back, changing his position so that more of his body was available to Shaun's perverse gaze. The Irish male instantly turned away, cheeks tinted bright red.
"Aww. Is little Shaun Kirkland O'Riley shy?" Yong Soo had pulled the Irish guy down to the ground, and on top of him, so that Shaun was straddling the older Korean. With the force of South Korea pulling him down, North Ireland's face ended up so close to the other's he could practically smell egg noodles and rice on Im's breath.
"I'm Northern Ireland. I don't get /shy/." Shaun retorted even as a blush appeared on his cheeks.
"Uh huh..." Yong Soo's pale fingers stroked the red cheeks, causing them to go a shade or two darker. "Then why won't you look at me?"
Shaun hesitantly moved his gaze to the other, placing his hands on Yong Soo's shoulders. "But I /am/ looking at you."
Southern Korea smiled softly, cupping the other's chin in his hand. Bringing the Irish boy's face closer to his own, a slight scent of Guinness on his breath. Shaun's hands moved down from Yong's shoulders, resting by the sides of the Korean's small waist.
Noses touching, Shaun tilted his head, leaning in to kiss the male beneath him. At first, Shaun tried to dominate the kiss, one of his hands going up to pull at Yong Soo's curl as his tongue entered the other's mouth. However, it soon became apparent that South Korea had every intension of being dominant, and so Northern Ireland's tongue was pushed back into his own mouth by Yong Soo's. Yong Soo explored the cavern of Shaun's mouth, tasting every nook and cranny he could reach, the taste of beef and beer were hiding a faint scent of tea and potato.
But even countries need to breathe, and so Shaun pulled back, panting.
Somehow, Yong Soo had managed to flip them over during their make out session. Heh, for such a small and toned guy, the Asian boy was quite heavy. Shaun tried to catch his breath again... But found he couldn't, maybe it was because Yong Soo was just that breathtaking to look at, or maybe because the other was sitting on his stomach so that he couldn't breath in or out.
"Can you get off me?" Shaun gasped.
"Oh!" South Korea instantly got off of North Ireland, smiling bashfully. "Sorry, da-ze."
"Heh." Shaun grinned back. "Help me up. Let's go see if we can get a plane ride back home from Australia. Ya know... if they're done fucking." "Wait, your place or mine?" Korea smirked, helping the other stand up.
"Because mine is closer."
"Yeah, but knowing Cerys like I do, she'll probably be at your sister's place." Shaun commented.
"Yours it is then."
"Brilliant! Let's go see if they stopped shagging yet."
"I'll... Wait out here."
"Pfft. Whatever sissy." Shaun retorted with a chuckle, entering the house again. He cautiously entered the building, listening for signs of smex. "Okay, no erotic moans or screams. No yelling of names or the words harder and faster... Seems okay." Slowly, he peaked his head around the living room door, sighing in relief.
"Huh? Oh hi North Ire! When did you get here?" Toby smiled sweetly from the sofa, stroking a random sheep that hadn't been there before, acting all innocent and like he hadn't been fucking Australia a few minutes ago.
"Not too long ago. Yong Soo and I have been outside. Getting punched in the face. By a kangaroo." Shaun said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder and at the door.
"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?!" New Zealand was imediately by his side, looking for bruises and cuts. "You don't have any injuries anywhere do you?! Kangaroo attacks can be fatal! They can kill! Is Korea okay?"
"Yeah, he's good." Northern Ireland replied. "Just got his shirt ripped a bit. He may or may not be bleeding too."
"Bring him in now! You shouldn't leave someone alone in the outback! Even the koalas are vicious!" Toby stopped fussing to glare at Australia's 'pet'. Receivingan odd stare from said brunette as he entered the room, clearly just taken a shower.
"Right right. I'll go get him then." Shaun replied, leaving the room.
"He'd already be in there if you guys weren't shagging the first time." He muttered the last part under his breath as he made his way to South Korea.
"Eh?! You wha-?!" Cody did a spit take as Toby's face went bright pink. Shaun poked his head back round the door frame.
"Oh, you heard that. Oh well. Yeah the first time we came here you guys were sorta shagging, so we waited outside, and THAT'S when the kangaroo attacked us." He carried on his way, smirking at their expressions. "I'm going to get Yong Soo now." "I thought you said no one was in a fifty mile radius of us!"
"Well, that was BEFORE you distracted me by removing your clothes, mate!" Shaun chuckled as he returned to Yong Soo.
"So? They still fucking or what?" Korea asked impatiently.
"Nah, they're done. Fully clothes and everything, and by that I mean Cody is still refusing to wear a shirt and Toby has his unbuttoned." Shaun replied, quickly pecking Yong Soo's cheek.
"Oh. Well that's not too bad. Let's go see if we can hitch a ride home then." South Korea said as Shaun helped him to his feet.
"Sure, when we get to my place, I get to dominate right because its my house?"
"No way in hell." Yong Soo quickly replied. "...Well... I suppose we could fight over it, if you get what I mean."
"Oh sorry, were you saying something? I was looking into your eyes and got lost."
"That was corny as fuck."
"It's better than 'is that a pot o gold in your pants'." Shaun scoffed, entwining their hands as the walked back to the house.
"Whatever. I just wanna get off this shitzone of sand!"
"Heh, as long as we can make out on the plane back,"
"We need a plane first."
"Congrats captain obvious, wanna point out something else?"
"Sherlock loves John."
"Wow ok. I was being sarcastic."
"Don't tell me you didn't see it." Yong Soo leant his head on the slightly taller's shoulder.
"I'm still on season 1. If I treat this stuff slowly the long waits won't be so painful."
"Spoiler alert, Sherlock kills Dumbledore."
"Pfft. Not even the same fandom you liar."
"I know you were reading that Potterlock fanfic. You're welcome, bitch."
"FUCK. ASSHOLE."
END CHAPTER ONE