Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or any of its characters. They belong to Akira Toriyama. I am making no money from this.
Summary: The guys play the drinking game 'I Never' at Krillen's bachelor party and Seventeen has a little fun at their expense.
Author's Notes: This is pretty weird and I don't have much else to say. Read and review!
I Never
By: Kynthia
"The name of the game is 'I Never'," announced Seventeen. He was standing alone on the floor and holding a glass in his hand. It was Krillen's bachelor party and all the guys were there. Even Mirai Trunks and Goku had gotten to visit in time for it. Of course some of the guys had to be convinced into going by various sisters and wives. Seventeen being a member of the above-mentioned group had taken matters into his own hands after thinking of a way to entertain himself and maybe get some dirt on baldy.
"The rules of the game goes as follows: we go around the group and each person says something they have never done and if you have done it you have to take a drink from your glass. Simple enough for ya?" Seventeen asked with a raised eyebrow to all those at the table.
Goku was sitting next to Krillen and was trying to convince him not to be nervous about the wedding the next day, Krillen looked ill, Vegeta wore a scowl as usual but seemed particularly ticked about being convinced to come, Piccolo leaned against the wall apparently ignoring them, Roshi was stealing looks into another of his more, um, questionable magazines with Oolong trying to peep over his shoulder, Yamcha was casting nervous looks at Vegeta who happened to be sitting to his right, and Mirai Trunks was eyeing the drink set in front of him warily.
"Um, sure, sounds like a good idea," said Yamcha as he still looked nervously at the angry saiyan prince to his right.
"The purpose of this game is supposed to be what?" growled Vegeta as he glared at the drink in front of him.
"To get good and plastered," smirked Seventeen.
The saiyan seemed to think this was a good idea because he stopped glaring at his drink like it was about attack him.
"Who wants to start?" muttered Krillen from where he sat with his head propped in his hands. He still hadn't totally gotten over his cold feet but had regained the ability to speak.
"I've never…worn a dress," said Master Roshi. He had apparently hid the magazine with the rest of his stash.
Goku and Oolong both took a drink. Everyone's eyes darted back and forth between the two for a few moments.
"Bulma made me when I was a kid," said Goku with a sheepish grin. Vegeta and Yamcha seemed to accept the answer with wary nods or understanding and everyone's attention turned to the shape shifting pig.
"I don't want to talk about it," grumbled the annoyed pig.
"I guess I'll go now," Goku said scratching the back of his head. "I've never played this game before."
Yamcha, Roshi, Oolong, and Seventeen took a drink. The game progressed and was getting quite boring until it got to Oolong.
"I've never seen a naked woman before," said a slightly buzzed Oolong. He had apparently forgotten you could only say things that you had never done before but no one corrected him.
Yamcha, Vegeta, Roshi, Oolong, Goku, Seventeen, and Krillen each took a drink. Seventeen glared at Krillen when he saw him take a drink. Piccolo and Trunks were the only ones not to. No one was surprised that Piccolo hadn't since he had refused to play since the game had begun and there was that little fact about nameks being asexual so he had no reason to. Trunks on the other hand had turned bright red and looked like he wanted to hide under the table.
"You have got to be kidding," said Oolong looking at Trunks in surprise.
Roshi just looked at Trunks pityingly for a moment before grinning in his own perverse way and sticking one of his, umm, mature magazines directly in front of Trunks face.
"Ahhh!" shrieked a shocked Trunks. If it was possible his face turned even redder and he nearly fell out of his chair.
Vegeta shook his head in disgust before grunting out to continue. Seventeen sat back in his chair to watch. Nothing much else happened after that. Trunks returned to his normal color but he kept glaring at Roshi with a look that could have burned holes in the table.
About an hour later they had stopped going in any particular order and people just blurted out whatever came to mind.
"I've never hit on anyone else's wife," Goku said with a hiccup.
Roshi, Oolong, and Yamcha took a drink. Every one of them was casting uneasy glances in Vegeta's direction the entire time. Vegeta looked mad enough to explode. Goku eventually managed to convince him not to go on a rampage and kill everyone present but just barely and with a promise of a sparring session later.
Seventeen had watched all of this with growing amusement until he got an idea. Picking up his glass and swirling the liquid around inside for a moment he began to speak. "I have never slept with anyone with blue hair."
Yamcha looked like he was going to wet himself. Vegeta was watching everyone to see if anyone dared to even look at their glass like they would take a drink. Trunks was glaring at Seventeen. He didn't like the android anyway and encouraging his father to commit homicide wasn't helping it any. Everyone else was watching to see what Yamcha would do.
Casting a frightened side-glance at Vegeta's face made all of the blood drain out of Yamcha's. Vegeta sat and glared at the human next to him silently daring him to pick up his glass.
Yamcha swallowed nervously. The poor guy was sweating bullets. Glancing at a clock on the wall he suddenly yelled out, "Oh crap! Look at the time! I have to be going!" He then ran out of the house like his pants were on fire.
"I think the party just ended," Krillen said as he watched Vegeta and Piccolo leave. Trunks left to make sure his father didn't decide to chase Yamcha down. Seventeen and Goku left after that and Roshi and Oolong went into another room to find some more magazines.
Krillen let his head fall and land on the table with a thud. He was still nervous about the wedding. Tonight hadn't alleviated his concerns since it had helped him realize something truly horrifying. Soon Seventeen would be his in law. Groaning Krillen began to mumble, "Why me?"
The End