Discalimer: I do not own Kim Possible.
Confidence
by CemK
Ah, coffee.
Shego leans in and looks at the dark brown liquid dancing in her cup. Its vapor hits her eyes, and she feels awake even before drinking the thing. She remembers her college years, and how much coffee she used to drink, then. Studying for classes is much harder when one also has the be on call for hero stuff every hour of every day of every damn single week.
She closes her eyes, annoyed. Now is not the time to think about the past, she scolds herself. Taking a sip of her coffee, she places the flimsy porcelain on a wooden lab table clad in empty test tubes. Leaning back on her small chair, also made of wood, she tries to make herself as comfortable as possible.
As the rather old piece of furniture creaks and groans in frustration to accommodate her changing center of mass, Shego tries to forget everything and just let herself drift in random thoughts.
She hears nothing. It is supposed to be that way, so she is not worried in the slightest. The secret entrance of the lair is an abandoned hangar, after all, last used about sixty years ago. Shego has always prided herself on doing her part of the job without any problems.
It makes her feel better, at least, when everything blows up in their face and she mocks Drakken for it.
So, she taps her foot, sitting next to a table which is probably the only furniture in a radius of ten miles. This place is so empty. She could her taps echoing along the concrete walls almost immediately after her boot hits the cement floor.
Without looking, she grabs her cup again and takes a gulp, much bigger this time. Her tongue burns, but at least it takes her mind off of her boredom.
Just where the hell is Drakken? The one time their plan is actually working, he disappears. She hopes he didn't use the CO-Ray on himself. She giggles at nobody, and puts the cup back on the table with a lazy clank. It's not like it'll work on him, anyway. Genius, yes. Confident, nah.
"Shego?"
Shego, startled, snaps open her eyes, and almost falls down from her chair. Standing before her is the last person she expects.
There, not thirty feet in front of her, in his mission gear, and trembling like a leaf, stands the lone form of Ron Stoppable.
She stands up, alarm bells ringing in her head. No way Kim can gather herself back so easily, she thinks. She still remembers how she felt after testing the Ray on herself. No way.
She can beat Kim, she knows that. She can even take on a murderous rampaging Kim , provided she is okay with killing her. The problem is that, if Kim shrugged off the effects of the Ray (and how she is going to kill Drakken for actually managing to get her hopes up this time!), she will be out for blood, and Shego has no idea how to settle such a confrontation without anyone ending up dead.
She really, really doesn't want anyone dead. She can't rule the world with that on her conscience.
"Kim's not here."
Shego, relieved, releases a breath she was hoarding in her lungs. She stares at the boy, who still seems to be experiencing his own private eartquake.
"And yet, you are here," she states the obvious. "Why?"
"I want that," Ron points at right next to her.
Shego stares at him. She turns, and looks at the table with the lab equipment. Among the translucent test tubes, beakers, and other paraphernalia, is a dull metal ball about the size of a tennis ball. It does nothing, just stands there innocuously.
Shego turns back to face Ron. "You come here, and believe me I have absolutely no idea how you found here, and you just- just expect me to hand in the single most important thing we have ever achieved to you?" she snarls. On any other day, she probably would have found his buffoonery hysterical. Now, however, she's cranky, bored, and irritated all at once. He couldn't have chosen a worse moment to tick her off if he tried.
She can hear his breathing. His heart must be beating a mile a minute. "Yes."
He starts walking toward her. His feeble attempt at intimidation fails a millisecond later, as his knees buckle, and he falls down on the floor, face first. An otherworldly thud is heard as flesh meets concrete.
Shego watches, speechless, the chaotic mess of limbs that lies on the cold cement twenty feet away from her. She's picking up the ball, and bending down to place it safely in her leg pouch, when she hears it.
Ron is chuckling.
She can't comprehend what is happening. He is reminding her of Drakken after one of his more... inane attempts.
They're on their way back to one of their less conspicuous lairs, and Drakken is ranting. Shego is trying not to listen to him, but it is quite hard, since he is sitting right next to her.
"Again, foiled by that Kim Possible!" he's saying."It was perfect! Perfect, I say! Everything was going according to the plan, and minutes before the whole world- the world!- bows down to my demands, she barges in! So close!" He slams a fist on the controllers, and yells in pain, holding his knuckles.
Shego closes his eyes in irritation, and growls silently.
"So close!" Drakken whines, his hand still partly in his mouth, suckling on his knuckles through the fabric of his glove.
"Oh can it, D!" Shego yells at the top of her lungs. Her voice cuts the dark sky like a knife cutting through butter. She hears a flock of birds fly away, obviously scared for their lives. It is after midnight, and she can't even concentrate on the scenery to distract herself.
"So close to what? Do you think at all? What do you think your damn army of paper planes would do? How in hell did you think they would pose a threat? What were you gonna do, paper cut the world into submission?"
Drakken attempts to open his mouth, but seeing Shego's murderous expression, stops. He just gapes at her eyes.
Shego sees his boss' vulnerability. Usually, that's where she stops, and leaves the scientist to regroup.
Not today. Her back hurts, she will feel that punch tomorrow, and her hair is full of sand. To hell with his feelings! She can harness the power of the freaking sun, but instead has to contend herself with a glorified cheerleader!
"My job is to guard you. And I do! I hold your precious Kim Possible at bay, and what do you do? Get beaten by a good for nothing buffoon and a rat! A rat!"
Drakken seems to defy the laws of biology as nearly all of his blood migrate around her cheeks.
"This is getting ridiculous! Maybe I should just go work for Dementor! You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
This time, Drakken pales beyond comprehension in mere seconds. All he could do is a meek shake of his head.
"Or maybe you should just-- just retire, y'know? I would, if I were you. But no, you are Doctor Drakken!" she points at him. Her voice is trembling, and she knows she is on the verge of losing it. "Your ego exceeds the world you are trying to conquer! You will never accept defeat! Well, I'll tell you something, all right."
She glares at him dead in the eyes.
An hour later, Drakken, with a stoic expression on his face, dashes to his private bedroom/lab, and Shego hears the sound of a door locking from her seat in the hover car. She is trembling, and she doesn't remember the last forty five minutes.
A day passes, and Shego winds down enough to become worried about the mad scientist. Knowing his usual sleeping patterns (unfortunately), she knocks on the wooden door well after midnight.
No response. It is too quiet. She can hear her own breathing, slow and controlled, a reflexive response to such a quiet and dark setting. She's a thief, even now.
She looks around, but sees nothing but darkness. Curse Drakken for being so cheap. Can't even buy a simple light bulb. Her boots sink into the soft carpet, making it hard to walk for her. She scowls, and knocks on the door again, louder this time.
This time, she hears a soft, rhythmic sound in response. She leans in and places her ear on the cool wooden surface, and holds her breath.
She can hear soft chuckles, then sobs, sniffing. A sharp thump, rustling of rough pages, then chuckles again. It's as if he's trying to start one of his evil laughs, but can't quite manage to do it.
Suddenly, Shego feels an inexplicable weight pressing down on her chest. She feels rotten.
A few hours later, Drakken finally comes out of his room with a determined stride, a notebook filled with scribbled schemes and cartoonish drawings tucked under his arm, ranting about toys and something about the devil, but she only understands that because she knows some Spanish.
Ron is sobbing now, but he pushes himself up, cheeks glistening. Shego can't see his eyes. He's muttering something to himself.
"I can't, I can't..." he shakes his head.
"Can't what? Walk on your own?"
Ron raises his head, and looks at her. She sees his glistening cheeks, and redness in his eyes. He is not looking at her face, but at her leg.
"Just- just give that ball, and- and I'll go. Please."
"Right. I'll give you the one thing that makes Drakken actually feel competent, and act competent, because?"
"It's killing Kim."
Shego frowns. If that's a side effect and Drakken didn't tell him...
"She's a wreck. She cries all day. She's refusing to eat. We had to restrain her to prevent her from harming herself. She just wants to curl up and die.
Please, Shego. You know Kim, you fight her. This is wrong. I can't see her like that anymore..."
Again, Shego remembers her private experimentation of the Ray, and remembers the helplessness, the constant feeling of terror, the doubt, and the chilling realization that no matter what she does, it will never be enough, never be right, and no one will help her, notice her, or love her...
She could easily have jumped off a bridge, at that point, had Drakken not intervened before she left the lair.
She can reminisce all day, but right now she needs to concentrate. At least now she has something to concentrate on in this godforsaken place. Maybe she can do something to alleviate the suffocating feeling of boredom.
Ron is walking towards her now. His face reveals so many emotions, but she can see right through him. He is desperate. He probably tried ever other way with that nerd who helps her, and she's his her last option. He's sad, so sad. Shego has no idea how seeing someone so close to you wilting away like that feels like. Her parents... that was immediate. They were there, boom, and then they were not.
She has no idea what to do.
"I'm begging you. I'll do anything y-you want. I will. Tell me to k-kill myself, right here, right now, and I'll do it. Just please, please give Kim back her confidence." He seems to have trouble standing up again. He may accept death, but that obviously doesn't mean he's terrified of it.
Shego watches as the boy who stands no more than six feet away from her struggles to stop any involuntary movement. She should be enjoying this, the feeling of having power so complete over someone, but she feels nothing.
"No."
Ron's breath hitches in his throat, and he looks at her, helpless, uncomprehending. He's on the verge of disintegrating, and it compels Shego to continue. She tries to keep her expression as detached as possible.
" I do not care why you came here, or how much you are willing to sacrifice. Drakken and I were never so close to- to actually winning. Not even the Diablo's... He may screw up everything again, God knows he has the talent to do so, but I will not. I will not cause him to- to hold that over me."
Drakken is sobbing, and then he starts to laugh, and Shego can't take her ear off the door.
She starts to pace back and forth, hands clasped behind her back. Some cheap fluorescent lamps lighting up the hanger flicker, making small clicking sounds as they do so.
"I understand."
Shego stops in mid stride, and turns, incredulous. "You do?"
Ron flashes a wet smile, blinking tears from his eyes. "Yes, I do."
" You do not want to fail him."
Shego wants to say something, but she can't find the words. She stares at him, mouth agape.
"It'll all be your fault. Nothing will be the same again, maybe. He will forgive you- of course he will forgive you, but you will not forgive yourself." Tears flow freely for his eyes, and he lowers his head, ashamed.
Right at that moment, Shego knows what she has to do. She just knows. It is not just a job, anymore. It is her responsibility.
Bending over and opening her leg pouch, she palms the object and her arm reaches forward. She aligns her hand so that it is placed right in between her eyes. She glares at Ron.
"You want this?" she asks.
Before Ron can move, she turns, and flings the ball at her back. The air whips in protest as she moves her arm. The ball flies, flies, hits a cup on the table, smashing it, soars between empty glassware, and lands on the floor, halting only after hitting the concrete wall.
Ron hears something liquid splashing on the floor, and he smells coffee.
Kim and he used to study all night for tests, and he would take off and bring her her favorite coffee while she was occupied with an especially challenging question. Kim loved challenges.
Shego smiles, and her hands curl up in fists. Her leather gloves creak, the titanium of its tips shine. She's sure the boy can see the ball behind her.
"Let's play."
TBC
AN: This story will be a two parter, so keep your eyes alert for a second chapter. Don't forget the feedback!