A/N: This takes place toward the beginning of Knife Edge when Meggie sees Jude, and then he drives away, from her point of view. I hope you like it, please review!
Old… I felt so old, so very, unbearably old.
And alone.
Alone was the worst part. Nearly a year ago, what felt like my life's end had come.
First was Lynette, my beautiful daughter. My beautiful, confused, lost, loving Nought daughter. Driven to believe she was a Cross by the hurtful insanity of today's society. Walked out In front of a bus once she'd taken in the bitter reality. It was believed to be an accident, but I know better. A mother always knows.
Second was Ryan. Dragging my poor Jude into the Libertarian Militia. Our last months of time together were so stressed and strained, at times I didn't think we were going to make it. And in a very suck, twisted and sadistic way, we didn't. No, the Crosses took him away from me.
Then Jude. My first born son, my lonely, hate-filled son. How I wish I could have foreseen this happening. I often cry myself to sleep, thinking, Jude, how could you do this to me, leave me all alone for such a hopeless cause. Me, your old mum. How could you? I knew deep down that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't a hopeless cause. But a look from the surface, and what had this war caused? My husband and youngest child's death, and basically, my eldest son's death. Jude sends me money on occasion, but doesn't he know that I'd sooner flush it all down the toilet just to hold him in my arms for one single moment?
Callum… I could not bear the thought. we'd told him to stay away from Persephone Hadley, no, begged. that family was bad news. And how I hated that girl. Off somewhere with my poor, unknown grandchild. Ruining its life as she had destroyed my son's. Hung, just like Ryan. Like father, like son, I think bitterly.
I stood up off my old couch, deciding that brooding was not going to get me any better. What's said is said, what's done is done. No going back now, no matter how it killed me. I grabbed the rubbish and dragged it out the door with me, remembering when there was four times the amount, instead of this one small load.
I noticed an unfamiliar car at the end of the driveway. I looked up to meet eyes with the driver. And then my mind shut down, and I was running toward the car.
"Jude, Jude!" I cried. He looked alarmed and straightened the wheel. "No, please, Jude, you're--" The car was already a distant dot at the end of the street, turning left sharply at the corner. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed, thinking the words that I was unable to say.
You're all I have left.