A/N: Hey guys! Guess what?! I didn't die! contrary to several of your intuitions, I am still breathing. I don't have a good excuse for not updating EVCBN. I just haven't felt like it. I have been busy I guess, but I have lost interest in the story. Sorry. So I just had this idea and had to write it down. Let me know what you think and I will update. And i possibly may even update EVCBN. someday. Enjoy! -Nora.
Having just arrived back at my room, I paused while reflecting on the day. I was 15. Did I really just go to the zoo? Of course I did, and I fucking enjoyed myself. Its funny how the most childish of activities can be the most fun. That might be why children are looked down upon so much. Parents, Grandparents, babysitters, teens, they all just observe the sheer look of joy on the faces of children, wishing that they could still act like that and experience the high of just acting without a care of what other people thought of them.
And the reality is, that utter feeling of elation, will never be felt again. Its too long gone to be obtainable to any normal person over the age of 10. So I must have felt that joyfulness a short 5 years ago. Wrong. I said any 'normal' person. And I definitely did not fit into the definition of 'normal'. Truth be told, I had never felt that feeling for some reason. Nothing is wrong with me, of course. I don't know why I never felt that feeling. I feel gypped.
Imagine the best thing in your life. I don't care what your thinking about -a favorite food, a certain some one special, the feeling of another- whatever. But now think of how much your life would suck if you never experienced that amazing thing. You knew that it existed, a tingling in the back of your mind alerting you that there is something beautiful out there, but that you will never know how great it is. Try surviving like that. It blows.
I was moving in with my new father tomorrow. And for the past week I have been traveling around Phoenix with my friends from my orphanage, going everywhere I used to love here. Hence us visiting the zoo, where I had spent a lot of time when I was new to town. I had just gotten back a bit less than a month ago from my last foster family who had decided that I wasn't a good fit into their family. I couldn't blame them either, I wouldn't want some random chick bursting into my family either. So here I am, back in Arizona, reunited with my best friends from the orphanage, about to be shipped off to another home. I didn't mind though, I would come back soon enough, the families never lasted long.
I hoped there would be a good zoo in Washington. They were where I always felt most comfortable. I guess I just fit in with wild animals…Haha. No. I met the groundskeeper of the zoo my second day at the orphanage. I was only 4 years old when I was taken to the zoo with the other kids, but I still hadn't made any friends, so the old blue-clad worker, who I later learned was named Ralph, came up to me and started talking. He was my first friend in Arizona. When it was time to go, he told me that I could visit anytime. I didn't really know what he meant, because you had to pay to get in, but I said ok nonetheless. We parted ways.
The week after, I had still made no friends and wasn't adapting well to the orphanage. Some of the other kids had told me that I didn't deserve to be at the orphanage, and told me to leave. So I did. I don't remember what made me do it, but I walked all the way to the zoo. It was after closing time. And I just sat awkwardly at the entrance, unsure of what to do. Eventually, as a female worker was leaving, she saw me and asked if she could help. I asked if I could talk to Ralph and she went and got him.
That was a serendipitous moment for me, seeing Ralph walk out the Employees Only door, whistling and swinging his keys around with a smile on his face. He saw me, sniffling and looking forlorn on the bench and came, picked me up, and walked us back through the Employees Only door, walked us into the Central America exhibit, sat me down in front of the cage for the Tamarind Monkeys and looked through his keys. He opened the cage, lured one of the creepy, small orange monkeys out, and plopped it on my head.
It was then that I got this funny feeling in me, a feeling that I could laugh and dance around. it's the closest thing that I've come to felt that resembled pure happiness. And after feeling that, even though it was only for a second (I quickly freaked out that there was a monkey on my head, but I was no longer sniffling) I realized that I needed to feel more. More happiness. Ralph and I have been great friends since. He would let me into the zoo for free when I needed someplace to go. He's my role model, my father figure.
So I have made that my goal. To achieve that feeling of elation that I thought only existed in movies and in play dates of younger children. It's my thirst. My thirst for happiness.
A/N: Yes? No? Review and tell me! It's very short, I know, but it is only the first chapter. toodles.