Disclaimer: characters to Lucas
Pairing: obi/padme
Genre: romance/angst
Title: A Different Choice
Rated: pg-13
Before Padme Amidala was in love with Anakin, she was in love in Obi-Wan, two years before Anakin and Padme feel in love on Naboo, Padme had been secretly meeting obi wan on Courasant. It all started when Obi Wan ran into Padme at Dex's diner, she had been traveling with her double Dorme and was pretending to be a handmaiden going into the diner to grab dinner for all of the other handmaidens.
"Padme?" Obi wan had called out to her, surprised she turned around and said, "Obi wan!" and they embraced. They chatted for a short while then Padme suggested they meet in Dex's diner tomorrow for lunch. The rest was history from there.
For the next two years they secretly met in Courasant either at the diner or other hidden places, a meeting usually consisted of them talking and holding one other, For over a year that's all they did, not speaking of the future that could never be, just savoring the moment when it was just them being together. Then their relationship took the next step when a night of just kissing and embracing turned into much more than that. Padme had given up her virginity to Obi Wan, a day she always thought would happen on her wedding night, but she knew a marriage to Obi Wan could never be, so she made love to him and in her heart she knew he was the only man she ever wanted to be with.
Obi Wan knew he was breaking the Jedi Code, but his emotions and feelings for Padme tortured him and he always gave into those desires, though he knew he shouldn't have. He thought he could keep it a secret from the council, but one day it all came crashing down. The council had finally found out about Obi Wan and Padme, and he was called in front of the council to explain his actions. He told the council he loved Padme with all his heart, and it was his love for her that caused him to break the Jedi Code. Yoda told Obi Wan under any other circumstances, a Jedi would be dismissed immediately, but because Obi Wan had been such a great Jedi, they would give him a choice, Padme, or the Jedi Order. Obi Wan struggled for days with the decision, but in the end, he chose the Jedi over love, from birth he had been trained to be a Jedi, and he didn't want to let those important in his life, especially Qui Gon down. So he went to Padme's apartment on Courasant and gave her the blow.
"Why? Why cant we still meet secretly like we always have been?" she said.
"Because now its different, the council knows about us, and they will be keeping an extra close eye on you and I." "I'm sorry Padme, I love you with all my heart, but we both knew this wasn't meant to be from the beginning, I wish things could be different, but they cant, its my destiny to be a Jedi."
He tried to hug her because she turned away and said "No, don't touch me, I cannot stay friends with you anymore Obi Wan. I think its best if we just go back to being acquaintances."
"I understand, I hope someday you can forgive me" he said.
Then he walked out, out of her life, she had gone into a deep depression for weeks and it was during this time the assassination attacks began. Because of Padme's history with Obi Wan, Anakin was chosen to be her escort and protector on Naboo. It was there that Padme started to see Anakin in a different light, no longer was he a little boy, but a young man. At first she tried to brush off his advances, when he kissed her by the lake she said she shouldn't have done that. But the real reason she said it was because of her feelings for Obi Wan still lingered. But then she realized Obi Wan no longer loved her nor wanted her but the Jedi Order so she finally gave into her feelings for Anakin, and made it her top priority that no one on the Jedi council find out about her and Anakin. She didn't want him to have to make the choice Obi Wan was forced to make. Anakin needed to be a Jedi, she knew that, but she also needed him and wanted his love, he could have both. She wanted that with Obi Wan, but being the noble Jedi he is, choose his duty over love. But she had finally forgiven him the day she married Anakin. It was time to move on and let go of the past.
Her marriage to Anakin had been a happy one until the day he turned to the darkside, he had broken her heart. Somehow Palpitine had found out about her history with Obi Wan and planted a seed of doubt into Anakin's mind. When she confronted Anakin on Mustafar, he had asked her if she could no longer be with him because of Obi Wan. She told him it was because of what he had done, and it was the truth, but Anakin didn't believe her and when he saw Obi Wan on the ship he force choked her almost to her death.
After Obi Wan's duel with Anakin he returned to the ship to make sure Padme was alright. He had just found out that Padme was married to Anankin and he was the father of her child. He knew Padme was pregnant, but didn't know who it was and never thought it would have been Anakin, but now it all made sense, after he broke her heart she turned to him and he did what Obi Wan could not.
"Obi Wan, is Anakin alright?" Padme asked.
"It's okay, everything will be alright" Obi Wan said.
"I'm sorry Obi Wan, I now understand why Jedi's are not supposed to love." Tears started streaming down Padme's face.
"No, I'm sorry Padme, I hurt you very deeply, I only wished that one day you could have forgiven me."
"I already have, Obi Wan." "I never stopped loving you, even though I did love Anakin with all my heart, all I ever wanted was love, I wanted your love, but took Anakin's because he offered me what I wanted." "It was very selfish on my part."
"Its all my fault" Obi Wan said. "I failed Anakin, I did."
"No, its mine" Padme said then fell asleep very quickly.
The droid had told Obi Wan has lost the will to live, he couldn't believe it, he needed her, needed her to stay alive, not only for her children, but for him as well. He wanted to finally have the life he desired to have with her, the life he thought could never be, but now that the Jedi Order is gone, he had nothing to look forward to, except a life with Padme.
"You have to be strong, don't give up Padme." Obi Wan said.
"I cant, I cant" she cried, after the twins were born Padme asked to speak with Obi Wan alone in the room.
"Obi Wan, please watch out for my children, I don't trust anyone more than you to make sure they are safe, promise me." Padme struggled to get out the words.
"Yes, yes I promise, I will always watch out for them Padme." "Please don't leave me, I need you, I have never stopped loving you, I only wish I could have changed things and made a different choice when I had the chance." Tears started to run down Obi Wan's face.
"No, you made the right choice, you gave me your love for as long as you could, I was selfish and wanted more, I've always known in my heart you love me, even though I tried to convince myself you no longer did."
"I will always love you Padme, I will love you until the day I die."
"Thank-you" Padme said, her breathing very shallow and struggling to keep her eyes open, "thank you for loving me, I'll always be with you, and when you look up at the sky, remember I am there watching you from above, waiting for the day you will join me."
Then she was gone, Obi Wan had sat in the room with her for hours, he could not force himself to leave her. But he finally did and watched from afar her funeral on Naboo, always in the shadows, the way it had always been for the two of them.
But he was able to go on and live his live on Tatooine knowing that Padme had forgiven him and that she still loved him, he wasn't sure until her last words. Those words was what kept him going, and it was those words he decided to end his life by Darth Vader's light saber. So he could finally be with the woman he loved so deeply and be able to still watch over Luke and Leia. He finally had it all.