Moony Quits
Remus' whole body ached. The last thing he could remember was stepping out of the tunnel that lead to the Shrieking Shack. Beyond that, all he could remember was how it felt. The searing pain from the bite marks and the claw gauges on his legs from the shaggy black dog he had fought with. The scents of human flesh still lingering in his sensitive nose. Only now could he recognise them. Fear rose in his chest; was he sure he hadn't harmed anyone?
Remus lifted his head to check on his injuries. It looked worse than it actually was. As he flexed his limbs to make sure nothing was broken, the events of the previous evening slowly came back to him. Sirius, his old friend, was innocent. The word seemed to echo around Remus' brain. After all this time, everything they had been through, and he was innocent. For the last twelve years Sirius had lived a miserable, lonely, soul-destroying life in Azkaban. He had truly thought Sirius had been responsible for everything and he had been innocent all along.
Exhaustion weighed down every muscle in Remus' body, his mind reeling from all the new information. He lay naked on the ground, listening to the breeze in the trees above him when he heard light footsteps coming his way. Out of the gloom came a tall, thin silhouette, a long, silver beard gleaming. Dumbledore. Anger welled up inside his chest. Even though every muscle screamed in protest, Remus forced himself to stand.
"Remus," said Dumbledore, his hand held up to stop Remus from talking. "I have brought you a set of robes and a new pair of shoes. The ones you were wearing yesterday could not be salvaged."
Remus didn't say anything, nor did he make to take the robes. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his bare chest heaving. He could feel his fresh wounds begin to trickle blood again, but he ignored it. He didn't care anymore. He didn't care that he was stood naked in front of Dumbledore. He wanted only to rip him limb from limb, to finally be the monster everyone thought he was.
"You told me they were safe," he began, his voice trembling with anger and supressed tears. Dumbledore's glasses glinted in the small amount of light that reached them through the canopy above. Remus breathed heavily, his nostrils flared, his chest rising and falling with every breath.
"You told me to trust you and I did. For the last twelve years I have lived with hatred for the wrong man. And we can only imagine what Sirius has had to live with! Why didn't you tell me they had made Peter Secret Keeper instead?"
"Remus, I didn't kn-."
"How could you not know?" screamed Remus. He couldn't keep calm anymore. "How could you think Sirius would betray James? His best friend since the first day they met. They were inseparable! They would have laid down their lives for one another. Do you have any idea how it feels to be the one everyone suspects? To have everyone think you're the spy. Was it because of what I am? Does that make me guilty by default?
"But no one ever suspected Peter. Was it because he was never as intelligent as the rest of us? How could poor, little Peter ever cross over to the Dark side? Why did you never see that he always made friends with the most popular man, the biggest bully in the play ground? Maybe we didn't see it, but you? You must have seen it!"
Remus was pacing now. He wanted to attack Dumbledore, to make him feel some of the pain he felt. His friends had suffered and died because they all put their trust in the wrong man.
"Listen to me, please," said Dumbledore. "You have every right to be furious. I am disappointed with myself for not having seen it sooner. If I had known I would have done everything in my power to save them. I offered myself as Secret Keeper, but James insisted on Sirius. As you discovered last night, they swapped right at the last moment. They decided Sirius was too obvious, being as close as they were. He was Voldemorts first choice. No one could have guessed Peter Pettigrew. For that, I am deeply sorry. The last twelve years would have been more bearable with an old friend at your side."
Remus sank down to his knees, unable to see through the unshed tears in his eyes. "What now? The Ministry has Peter, so Sirius will walk free, won't he?"
"I'm afraid not. When you transformed Pettigrew escaped. Without him, no one will believe the word of a convicted felon, a werewolf and three teenagers."
The tears broke free at last and ran unchecked down his face as he realised what it all meant. "The Dementors, they haven't-? They didn't-?"
Dumbledore knelt on the ground before Remus and laid a hand upon his shoulder. "Sirius escaped on Buckbeak with a little help from Harry and his friend Miss Granger. With her Time-Turner they were able to save two innocent lives last night and they are both far away by now. With time you will see Sirius again, but for now he must go into hiding.
"Come, Remus, it is almost time for breakfast. I will have Madam Pomfrey heal your wounds in your chamber and you will spend today on bed rest. I have some rather unsavoury business to attend to with Severus. He saw fit to inform his entire house of your affliction."
Dumbledore stood up and held his hand out to help Remus to his feet.
"No," said Remus, barely needing to think about what he was saying. "I do not need Madam Pomfrey."
"Remus, I must insist-."
"I quit," he said bluntly. "How long before the owls start coming in demanding for my resignation? I am resigning as of today. Far too many people were at risk last night and I cannot let that happen again. On the train here, when I first saw Harry in that compartment, my first thought was that it was James again. I couldn't believe my luck. There was my baby nephew, all grown up and a teenager. I thought maybe I could be Uncle Moony again, but he had no idea who I was and I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Now he knows everything and I'm still a stranger to him. I'm a monster.
"So I resign. I will go back underground where monsters belong. Nothing you say will change that. You know where you can find me if I'm needed again."
Dumbledore studied him carefully. "Very well. There will come a time when the Order has need of you again. With Pettigrew loose I fear Voldemorts return is one step closer. Lay low, gather any information you can, any rumours you hear. We will meet again soon. I'll wait for you to dress."