What I (and I know some others of you) would have liked to have seen after All Things.
I don't own the X-files or any of the characters. This is my first X-files fic and my first fic with any significant degree of sex in it. But, there is a first time for everything. Please review.
She stood by the hospital bed paralyzed with fear
She stood by the hospital bed paralyzed with fear. She couldn't save him, no matter how hard she tried. She had lived this before, but this time it was turning out differently. Instead of the paddles in her hand shocking life back into the man in front of her, he lay there dead.
Scully awoke from the dream with a start. She leaned forward, her hand against her head, fingers pressing the spot above her eyes as she tried to bring her breathing back to a normal pace. Taking in one deep breath, she exhaled audibly and sat back against Mulder's couch. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of the dream. It hadn't been the fact that she couldn't save him that shook her to the core. It had been the fact that it wasn't Daniel lying in that hospital bed; it hadn't been Daniel who had died. It had been Mulder.
She had seen Mulder on the brink of death before and dreamed about it often, in fact. Nightmares seemed to go with the job. Usually, she could relieve herself with the idea that they were just dreams, Mulder was fine. But, after the last couple days and the conversation she and Mulder had before she fell asleep. Did we finish that conversation? she wondered. What if there was only one choice and all the rest were wrong? Being here in the middle of the night, on Mulder's couch; was this the right place for her to be?
She shook her head as if she could make the thoughts leave. Lying down and pulling the blanket back over her shoulders she shut her eyes hoping to fall back asleep. She was too tired to drive home at this point. As her eyes drooped closed she was hit with the vision from the end of her dream, Mulder, dead. Her eyelids sprung back open. Why was it, she wondered, that when you woke up during a pleasant dream you could never get the moment back, but when it was a bad dream it was always right there? What was she going to do now?
She couldn't go back to sleep, back to that dream. She could go home. Then she could stay awake all night at home. As her eyes closed against her will, she decided that she needed sleep. Preferably, sleep with no bad dreams. It was the idea that had first entered her mind when she woke up. She had ignored it then, it had just been instinct. But now, logic was telling her the same thing.
She got up off the couch, folding the blanket over the arm, and walked towards Mulder's bedroom. Quietly she turned the doorknob. Pushing the door open, she hesitated for a moment. Then, with soft steps, she walked towards the bed. Mulder was sprawled out on his stomach, arms stretched above his head hugging the pillow. His feet stuck out beneath the comforter, the cuffs of his sleep pants barely visible. Scully could hear his rhythmic breathing. It reassured her. She sat down on the edge of the bed and whispered his name.
"Hmm…," he sighed quietly, waking a bit. "Scully?" He was a bit disoriented. "Are you okay?" he asked with a puzzled, sleepy expression as he pushed himself up with his arms and looked at her.
"I…umm." She knew she was going to sound like a little kid, but still she said, "I had a bad dream and couldn't go back to sleep." Didn't want to go back to sleep.
"Okay." He didn't need to hear or say anything else. He rolled on his side and scooted back on the bed, lifting the comforter so she could crawl beneath it. She slipped beneath the bedding and lay down, her back to Mulder's front. He adjusted the blanket around her, as he had earlier that night. Then, laying his arm on top of the comforter, he wrapped his arm around her and hugged her to him.
"Thanks," she whispered, as she reached out and grabbed his hand with hers tucking it under her cheek. Feeling his warmth reassured her. He was alive, he was okay.
"No problem," he said equally quietly. He felt like he had to whisper or this moment might be ruined. Mulder thought back to their conversation on the couch. What if every moment had led to this one? To them being here together? What would have happened if he had made a different choice somewhere along the way? Would he never have met her?
Scully was letting herself drift back out of the waking world. Mulder's proximity was all she had needed to eradicate the threat of the nightmare. As her breathing became more rhythmic she noticed that Mulder's seemed to mirror hers exactly. She smiled and let her eyes close.
Mulder had, also, noticed that their breath had become aligned. He could tell Scully was on the verge of falling asleep but was fairly sure he wouldn't be able to. His fingers, which had been making gently stroking her palm brushed against something cold. He felt for it again- her cross. Absent mindedly, he began to move it around on the chain with his thumb. The repetitive motion was lulling him to sleep; Mulder let his eyes drift shut.
Scully was completely relaxed. She had been sure that having Mulder beside her would allow her to sleep, but she hadn't counted on what having him holding her as she lay there was doing. Her body, which had been fighting to stay awake, only moments before, was not acutely aware of everything around her. She almost laughed when she noticed that he was wiggling his toes to the same rhythm that he was swinging the cross on her necklace to. She wondered if it had been a good idea to stay here instead of trying to go home and get some sleep. As Mulder moved his head slightly, nuzzling the back of her neck, she decided it had been. Scully closed her eyes again and decided to just enjoy this moment.
Mulder wasn't sure how long had gone by when he became fully aware of his surroundings again. He, also, wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep. As he drifted back into consciousness he noticed that he was still playing with Scully's necklace and figured he couldn't have fallen completely asleep. However, he noticed that he had seemed to drift off some. His thumb was still running back and forth over Scully's cross though his hand was now laying flat against her chest. No, not her chest, he thought to himself as he realized his hand was directly on top of her breast. Blushing slightly Mulder moved his hand. He had meant to do it carefully, as to not draw her attention to his action, or more importantly the prior location of his hand. Now his only hope was that she was asleep and hadn't noticed. But then he felt her shift, slightly. Damn.
The sudden lack of warmth across her front brought Scully to a fully wakened state. Why had Mulder moved his arm? She wondered. She had felt so warm and safe with his arm wrapped around her and the regular movement of his thumb against her skin had felt soothing. Then is occurred to her, his hand had shifted to a somewhat precarious location. However, she hadn't thought about it until he had moved his hand. That made her wonder why it hadn't bothered her. Suddenly, her thoughts turned to what she and Mulder had become. Not just partners, not just best friends, something more?
Mulder lay paralyzed, unable to move. He didn't quite trust himself. Every fiber of his being wanted to reach back and pull Scully close to him, to touch her. He felt cold and empty having let go. But, he didn't trust himself to keep the touching platonic. Had he even thought about touching her in that way before his hand had slipped? Of course he had, he admitted. But in a plausible, actually doing it kind of way? He wasn't sure. As he struggled with his indecision, Scully shifted, snuggling backward into him. He didn't need any other encouragement. He wrapped his arm back around her and held her close, this time he was careful and placed his hand squarely on her stomach.
Scully felt Mulder's hesitance in wrapping his arm back around her, but as he did the rush of warmth she felt led her to a decision. Reaching down with one hand she took a hold of his hand where it rest against her stomach. Simultaneously, she moved his hand back to her chest and held it against her skin just between her breasts and turned her head so she was looking into his face, her lips just a breath from his.
Mulder's breath was suddenly uneven. He felt like his heart might stop. He looked at her questioningly and doubted his own eyes when he saw her nod slightly. His doubts were assuaged when she met him halfway and their lips touched gently. The kiss was simple and sweet, much like the one they had shared on New Years Eve, but only at first. As Scully rolled to her other side to face Mulder, he deepened the kiss. If every choice he had made in his life had led him to this moment, he was grateful for all of them. Pulling away from Scully for a moment, he looked into her eyes and could tell that she was also.
A small smiled played on Scully's face as Mulder looked deeply into her eyes. She almost laughed out loud, it seemed almost ridiculous. She stopped herself, worried an express amusement might give Mulder the idea that she didn't want this to happen. But, she did. In fact, she couldn't remember wanting to be with any man more. Instead, she leaned forward and kissed him, grabbing his lower lip between both of hers. At the same time she placed her hands on his chest and ran them down, enjoying every rise and fall of his muscles. She gripped the bottom of his t-shirt and teased it up. He let go of her for the first time to allow her to pull his shirt over his head. As she did, Scully rolled over onto her back pulling Mulder with her.
He pushed himself up slightly, supporting himself on his elbows and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. For a moment, they both stared into the other's eyes. Scully marveled at the chocolate color Mulder's, normally golden eyes, had taken on. He was staring at her with a look she had never seen before. He had looked at her in similar ways, the hallway before the bee, for one. But, this was even more intense. It made her catch her breath and wonder when she had gone from loving him, to being in love with him. And, she wondered, was he in love with her or was this something else? Did she care?
Mulder found himself trying to read Scully impression, and for the first time, found he was truly jealous of those with telepathic abilities. She seemed to be mulling something over in her mind, but, he decided as his will power ceded, it couldn't be nearly as important as kissing her again. He lowered his mouth to hers, starting out with a gentle and brief kiss before returning for a more passionate embrace. As she angled her head, he moved his kisses down her jaw line and a long her neck to the edge of her sweater. His hands, which had been tracing her sides with his fingertips, now pushed her sweater up and over her head, removing his mouth from her collar bone only long enough to remove the objectionable article of clothing, followed quickly by her bra.
As Mulder's kisses moved from her neckline down to the space between her breasts, Scully felt her entire body quiver. She could tell Mulder felt it, too. He stopped the movement of the trail of kisses and kissed the same spot again. Then he moved one hand to her left breast and cupped it tenderly running his thumb across her nipple which immediately hardened. At the same time, his mouth traveled to her other breast and kissed passionately. She allowed herself to enjoy his complete attention to her body for a moment before she ran her hands, through his hair and down to over his shoulders onto his back. She urged his attention, gently, back to her face where he kissed her on lips again, with passion like she had never experienced before. As he did she reached for the waist of his pajamas, as she felt his hands explore the button and zipper on her own pants. It took only moments for the remained of their clothing to join the growing pile on the floor.
Mulder marveled at the warmth radiating over his skin everywhere it came in contact with Scully's. He hoped that in the morning neither of them would have any regrets; knowing that he would only if she did. The look in her eyes, as he ran one hand up the inside of her thigh, relieved him and he decided, that either way, tonight was most definitely worth it. Scully ran her hands over his back massaging his muscles. Mulder watched her eyes close and saw her gasp slightly as his hand continued it path up her leg and his fingers gently teased around the opening of her vagina. He grinned as her entire body tensed against his. He let two of his fingers slip inside of her, then sliding them out he moved his hand forward and massaged her clitoris.
Scully had lost control of all conscious thought. Her body was running on complete instinct and the only thought she could seem to pull to the surface was that she never wanted Mulder to stop touching her. She let her hips fall farther open and ran her hands the rest of the way down his back, over his ass, and around to his full erection. With one hand she urged the tip of his penis into position, inviting him to enter her. This time it was her turn to enjoy the quiver of his body as he thrust himself deep inside of her. "God Mulder," she murmured, giving herself over to him. They both enjoyed the level of closeness neither of them had ever known if they would find. Though, unbeknownst to the other, they had both secretly hoped for.
A small amount of light was streaming in the windows when Scully's eyes fluttered open. Mulder was still asleep. His legs intertwined with hers as he slept. One of his arms was thrust under the pillow beneath his head, while the other was wrapped around her. His face was nuzzled right beneath her ear, covered slightly with her hair. She wondered if she would be able to get up without waking him. Slowly, she disentangled her legs from his and lifted his arm to allow her to slip out of the bed. She was not ready for the conversation they would be forced to have if she stayed here until he woke up. Better to avoid it, in her mind. She gathered her clothes from the floor and went to the bathroom to dress.
Mulder felt something was missing before he even opened his eyes. Scully. He sat up quickly and looked around. The pillow next to him still had an indentation from her head. Her clothes were gone from the floor. She had left. He knew it. "Damn it," he muttered. Getting out of bed and heading for the shower. The conversation would have come much more smoothly if they had been forced into it. He had no idea how to bring it up.
When he got to the office in that morning, she had beaten him there. Her briefcase was already on the desk and her coffee mug was gone. He sat down at the desk and opened the file on top. "Skinner wants to see us," Scully said as she entered the office.
"Alright," Mulder said standing up. She seemed totally normal. He had no idea what to say.
"We should probably head up," she added. The only awkward moment was the elevator ride. By the time they made it to Skinner's office things felt like any other work day and the events of the day and the case they were looking into didn't leave any time for any discomfort.
Though, by the end of the day the issue was clearly not an X-file. The murder which had seemed to be the result of supernatural interference, turned out to be a rather mundane poisoning. The unusual perpetrator was what had Scully sitting on her couch that night watching Arsenic and Old Lace. The old woman they had encountered that day had reminded her much of the aunts in the film.
She was about ten minutes in when there was a knock at her door. She sighed, knowing who was on the other side and what conversation they were about to have to face. Still despite her knowledge and mostly out of habit she asked, "Whose there?"
"It's me." The familiar response came from the hallway.
"It's open, Mulder. Come on it," she replied.
"What are you watching?" Mulder asked as her walked over to join her on the couch.
"Arsenic and Old Lace," she responded. "I kept thinking about it after we caught that old woman today."
"Yeah, easier than most of our cases." Mulder stared at the screen thinking over what he should say. He had gone home. It had seemed like Scully didn't want to talk about the night before. He was going to let it go, at least for awhile. But then he had gotten home, and his apartment had felt so empty and lonely. It had been instinct and need that had driven him to Scully's apartment. Finally he worked up the nerve, "So Scully, there was something I wanted to tell you today."
"What Mulder?" Scully felt her chest tighten with anticipation. She feared what he was about to say. Did her think last night was a mistake? Had it been? Did he think they shouldn't work together anymore?
He took a deep breath and turned to look into her eyes. She couldn't seem to make eye contact with him. He reached out and lifter her chin with his hand so she was looking into his eyes. "I… umm… I love you," he said.
It sounded like there was more to come, which scared her. She knew Mulder loved her. She had for a long time. You can't be partners with someone for as long as they had been, you can't be friends the way they were, without loving the other person. But there are so many types of love. It was what he was going to say next that would explain that. For some reason Scully was pretty sure it was some kind of a "but". She had to say something though so she did. "I know you do, Mulder."
He could tell what she was thinking from the tone of her voice. She didn't understand what he was saying. "No, you don't Scully," he added. "I don't just love you as my partner, or as my best friend. I am in love with you. And last night…" he stopped and paused trying to judge her reaction. He was afraid this admission might be the biggest mistake of his life, or it could be the best thing he had ever done, depending on her reaction. "Last night was the best moment of my life."
A smile teased on Scully's face. Seeing it, Mulder broke out in a grin. Scully bit her bottom lip and said, "I love you, too." She wouldn't have thought it possible if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, but Mulder's grin grew even bigger.
Then, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was gentle and sweet and neither one of them deepened it this time. Instead, Mulder pulled away and asked, "Can I stay and watch the movie?"
"Of course," she replied turning back to the TV and snuggling into the crook of his shoulder. "Movies are better with company." He wrapped his arm around her and sighed.
As they watched Cary Grant hurrY off with Priscilla Lane for their honeymoon. Mulder smiled down at Scully who appeared to be nearly asleep. He leaned forward and reached for the remote as the film came to a close. As Mulder turned off the TV, Scully stood up and stretched. Mulder followed her suit and stood. "I'm tired," she said. Mulder started to say goodnight, telling her he would see her in the morning when she asked, "Should we go to bed?" The twinkle in her eye left Mulder speechless. He simply reached out and took her offered hand, following her to her bedroom.
He watched as she changed out of her clothes and into a silk pajama top. He sat down on a chair in the room and began to remove his shoes and clothes, until he was in only his undershirt and boxers. As Mulder was laying his clothes over back of the chair, Scully crawled into bed. When he just looked at her, she asked, "Are you going to join me?"
"Definitely," Mulder replied walking to the other side of the bed, turning out the light, and crawling in. Meeting her in the middle of the bed, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to his body. Kissing gently near her ear, he whispered, "I love you."
She smiled wiggling in closer to him. "I love you, too."