DGG: Hello, everyone. I am back with another random Yu-Gi-Oh! oneshot! This story was inspired by the song "Watching You Watch Him" by Eric Hutchinson. They play that song where I work, and it just got the wheels turning in my imagination. Like...I bet that's kinda how Yugi feels, so this story was born! Woo! Anyway, enjoy. Feel free to review if you'd like! And thanks for stopping by.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or its characters. I'm simply a fan who is writing this for fun.
I know my chances are slim. When he's in control, I feel like I become nothing more than a phantom limb. She forgets all about me when he's the one in control! It hurts so much. But I can't help but feel this way when I'm watching her watch him…
From the first moment I met Téa Gardner I was on Cloud Nine. I may not have truly known that at the time since we were in elementary school, but I realize it now because she still has me on Cloud Nine. How could she not? She's just so gorgeous! I mean her crystal blue eyes are just so warm and inviting; I could stare into them all day if she'd let me. And her chocolate brown hair never has a strand out of place; however, I certainly fantasize about messing it up. She also has a killer body thanks to her dedication to taking care of herself. I love those curves. But while her appearance always blows me away, what really gets me is her personality. She's so take-charge, optimistic, and determined. She knows exactly what she wants, and she will do anything in order to get it. She can be warm, caring, and supportive, but if you mess with her or anyone she cares about you're in for a rude awakening. She doesn't take crap from anyone. I love everything about her. I always have, and I feel like I always will. But I have no chance with her because of him…
Because of the spirit of the pharaoh that shares a body with me. He usually takes control of our body only when we're in a duel, and typically I'm focused on the match-at-hand since the two of us work as a team; however, I'm able to steal sideways glances at our friends that are cheering us on from the sidelines from time to time. When that happens, I'm mainly focused on Téa. I see her encouraging smile, I hear her supportive words, I see the glimmer in her eyes, I see her bouncing up and down…Don't get me wrong. I love and appreciate the support I receive from every one of my friends; however, knowing that Téa is there to bring me encouragement always gives me a sense of pride that no one else can give to me. I used to think her cheers and smiles were for me. I used to think that maybe, just maybe she had a crush on me as well. But as time moved on I soon came to realize that all her efforts were for the man that looks like me.
When we're not in a duel and the pharaoh has control over our body, my eyes always wander toward Téa, both instinctively and subconsciously. Either way that's when I notice the little things. Her body language, her inflections, how her long gorgeous legs are accentuated by the high heels she wears…um…her demeanor. But the main thing I notice is how she looks at the pharaoh; she doesn't look at me that way.
The pharaoh is full of charisma. He's charming whether or not he realizes it or means to be. I mean, his deep voice just makes Téa swoon. My wimpy, girly, high-pitched voice is most certainly a turn-off to anyone who hears it. And he seems to emit more of a mysterious "bad boy" vibe than I do. Apparently Téa must like that sort of thing because she just seems so intrigued and mesmerized by his presence. And why wouldn't she be? He's a king from Ancient Egypt! He lived in a palace, he had people dedicated to protecting his life, and he saved the entire world from destruction 5,000 years ago! He has a much more interesting life than I do or probably ever will, that's for sure. And the only reason my life became any more interesting is because the pharaoh came into it!
Before he came along, I was just a loner. I may not have been one by choice, but I was one. I was picked on every day of my life. Most of the time, I think people thought I was mute because I spoke so seldom. I just kept to myself, tinkering with the various puzzles and games I would bring with me to class from my grandpa's game shop. I would get made fun of, and I'd even get beat up for being the quiet weird kid in the corner. More than once, Téa stepped in to defend me from my bullies. I mean, how appealing could that truly be? The pharaoh doesn't need anyone fighting his battles for him. He attacks his problems head-on and can solve any dilemma that's thrown his way. If I were Téa, I'd be more attracted to the guy who wasn't a wimp too.
I don't know. I can't really explain it. It just seems like her demeanor changes when he's around. She just seems so much more captivated by him. And I know on a few occasions she actually wanted to see him instead of me. I remember quite distinctly when we were all trapped and held captive in the virtual world by Kaiba's stepbrother that I heard Téa calling out my name. Hearing her voice, hearing her call out for me sent chills down my spine as well as a terrible sense of urgency. I knew she was in trouble, I knew she needed help, and I so desperately wanted to find her and make sure she was all right. I wanted to help her. I needed to help her. I needed to see her! But during my journey to reach her I couldn't help but feel that even though she was calling out my name, that she truly meant that she wanted the pharaoh to save her. It broke my heart to think that, no…to know that. But I always cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe she might want to be with me. Unfortunately, doubt always pecks at the back of my skull like an annoying woodpecker.
It's not fair! She knew me first! I don't resent the pharaoh though. I know it may sound like I do, but I swear I don't. It's not his fault. And as far as I know, he doesn't seem to think of her as anything more than just a friend, which quells my fears slightly. Fine, she can like him. But if he actually reciprocated those feelings for her I really don't know what I would do with myself.
For a while, I thought she was taking an interest in me. And that may have been true at one point until the pharaoh stole her heart. But that doesn't stop my heart from skipping a beat whenever she greets me. And it doesn't stop chills from racing down my spine if she touches me. Nor does it stop a wave of euphoria from crashing down on top of me whenever she smiles. I love all of it, but I fear I only get to experience those things because of my alter ego.
Téa and I weren't as close before I put the Millennium Puzzle together. And that scares me. What if it's only because of the pharaoh that she's around now? Would she have drifted away from me had I never put the Puzzle together? Would she still only mainly talk to me at school? I don't know. I'm so grateful that I've gained so much since solving the Puzzle, but I'm also afraid that it's only because of the Puzzle and the pharaoh that I have any of it, especially Téa.
It really hurts. I love her so much, and I would do anything for her to feel the same way about me in return. I want so desperately for her to look at me the way she looks at him. I so desperately want to just grab her and kiss her. I desperately wish that I was my alter ego sometimes because she doesn't want sweet, caring, and nice Yugi. She'd rather have the daring, bold, dark pharaoh that shares his vessel.
Maybe this is the way things were destined to be. If I can never be anything more than a friend to her, I guess I'll accept it. My main goal is for her to be happy no matter what. I can't help it if I want to be the one that makes her that way. But if she truly wants the pharaoh, I won't stand in her way no matter how much it hurts me. All that matters is that she's happy. I love her. I know that I do. My love is unconditional and also unrequited, and I won't stand in the way of what she wants. And judging by the looks of it, she wants the pharaoh.
And I gathered all of that just from watching her watch him.
I've urged him on more than a few occasions to tell Téa his true feelings. It embarrasses him when I speak about it though. I know he wants to, but he's just too shy to do so. And although he's never outright said it to me, I do share a body with him. We are linked together enough that even though he's never said it aloud to me, I know he fears that she has feelings for me rather than for him. I wish he could see just how wrong he is.
When Yugi is in control of our body, I don't always just contain myself to my soul room. I watch the goings on of his life throughout the day. I listen to some of his conversations with our friends when I'm certain that I'm not intruding on something I shouldn't be. I'm watching from the background when he just duels for fun with our friends. Sometimes we're both spectators of a duel. But what I enjoy most is watching how Yugi and Téa interact with one another.
Yugi sells himself short about ninety-five percent of the time. He's much more than what he realizes. I should know. I spend the most time with him, after all. I've watched and sensed him changing throughout the years. In the beginning, he was very insecure and quiet. He still isn't the most outgoing person in the world, but he has become more outspoken. He's not nearly as afraid to voice his opinion like he used to be, but even though he has gained a lot of self-confidence, he still hasn't mustered up the courage to tell Téa his true feelings.
I understand Yugi's concern. He didn't have many friends while he was growing up, but he did have Téa. She was there for him when no one else was, and he absolutely adores her for that and for many other reasons. They have a special bond, and Yugi doesn't want to lose it or her to anyone else. I won't lie that I've seen her show an interest in me, but I don't believe it's a romantic one as Yugi suspects and fears it to be. I feel that if I were in her position and learned that there were two completely separate entities residing within one person, I would be a little intrigued by the situation as well. Learning that it's not two sides to one person but actually two separate people would garner anyone's attention.
She knew Yugi. She had for years, so she knew a great deal about him. I, on the other hand, was a newcomer. She was interested in learning about my past, my quirks, what makes me tick. That does not mean that she would prefer me over him. Yugi and I are two different people with two very different personalities and two very different lives residing in one body. I know that Yugi is confused as to who she truly has eyes for, but I can tell which one of us truly holds her heart.
If only he could see what I see when I am watching her watch him.
When Yugi steps into the room, her eyes immediately light up, and the smile on her face becomes even bigger. When he speaks, she listens intently to every word he says, even leaning in closer as if entranced by his very being. If he's feeling a little down, she's the first person to notice and to spring into action to make him feel better. If he's doubting himself, she's the first person to give him a pep talk. Yugi is probably her oldest friend, and I can tell that she has a very strong bond with him. My presence does not affect that.
If he wanted further proof that she doesn't have feelings for me, then I could tell him all about the time I spent with her alone during the Dartz fiasco. Yugi had selflessly sacrificed his own soul in order to save mine, and once that news was broken to Téa I could tell that she was crushed. I could see it in her eyes, and that only made me feel worse. She had lost him, and it pained her to think that it could even remotely be true. I don't think she resented me or blamed me for it, but I know that she was devastated. She stuck by my side, she helped me through my own sorrow over the situation, but that was it. She only tried to help me, and nothing more.
She has a special connection with Yugi that she just doesn't have with me. I may be one of her friends, but she and Yugi seem to have a special chemistry with one another that no one else can imitate. They share something deeper whether they realize it or not, but while Yugi was gone so was that something. Before Yugi's soul was taken, I could sense it, but afterward it was just gone. And that's how I know that she does not feel for me what she does for my partner. When Yugi's soul was returned, when she saw that he was the one standing before her rather than me, that something also returned. She ran over and embraced him immediately with tears of happiness in her eyes. Her little moment was interrupted all-too-soon by our friend Joey rushing in to greet Yugi as well, and I could see just how reluctant she was to ever let him go. It was then that I surmised that she realized just how much he meant to her.
I also recall another time that could convince Yugi of her feelings for him. I don't believe he remembers, and I'm actually surprised that I remember the incident given the circumstances. Joey had won a trip to India and through a bizarre turn of events, we wound up fighting for our lives and our freedom in the world of Capsule Monsters. Yugi and I were donned with battle armor, and with it we could fuse with our monsters. The first time we fused, however, it took a great deal of energy and stamina, far more than what we realized until it was too late.
Yugi could barely stand, and so most of our group set out to accomplish the next task while Téa stayed behind to watch over my partner as he recuperated. He was quite out of it. We both were. While he lay on the ground resting, I had retreated within the confines of my soul room. I had never felt so overtaxed before, and I could hardly focus on anything other than my throbbing muscles and weary state of mind, but that's when I happened to sense something. It was a feeling from Yugi. It wasn't a bad feeling or anything; it was actually quite lighthearted. With my curiosity peaked, I knew I had to check to see what was going on. I knew he was just as drained as I was, so I just had to know what was causing this little flourish within his heart.
I mustered up as much strength as I possibly could in order to see what was going on in our surroundings, and that's when I saw it. Téa had Yugi's left hand clasped between her own. His eyes were closed, and he was barely conscious, but he could still sense that she was the one holding his hand. The look on her face was one of utmost concern as she gently rubbed his hand. This brought a smile to my own weary face as I retreated back within Yugi's mind for some much needed rest. After we had regained our strengths, he made no mention of the incident, however. It was almost as though it never happened, which is why I believe he doesn't truly recall it. I believe he is under the impression that it was only a dream, but I am positively certain that it wasn't.
It isn't a secret that the young Rebecca Hawkins is quite smitten with my counterpart. She clings to him whenever they are in the same vicinity, and she even has the audacity to tell people that they're a couple. I sit back and watch in amusement whenever they interact with one another because of how awkward it makes Yugi feel. He so clearly doesn't reciprocate her feelings, and he's very uncomfortable whenever she's around. She's just a kid – a very bright one who tries to act a little mature for her age, but a kid nonetheless. I know he allows her to act that way because of the age difference and because he's simply too nice to tell her to quit. But until that day comes, I get to watch as he squirms uneasily around her. And while Yugi is preoccupied with Rebecca resting her head on his shoulder, he fails to notice the reactions this garners from Téa.
Her body goes rigid whenever Rebecca hangs all over him. I see her attempt to brush it off like it's nothing; I've seen her hide her true feelings before, but this is something she simply is unable to conceal. If Rebecca gives Yugi a peck on the cheek, I watch as Téa balls up her fists so tightly that her knuckles turn white and how her lips thin out so much that they practically disappear. When Rebecca calls Yugi her boyfriend, I watch Téa's eyebrow twitch as she bites her tongue. I even once caught her staring longingly at him while Rebecca had her arm linked with his as though she wished she could take the younger female's place. Perhaps if Yugi wasn't so preoccupied with feeling so awkward as Rebecca pressed herself as closely as possible to him, he would notice his crush's reactions and how much she detests anything Rebecca does.
When I sit back and observe, I witness a great deal of happenings. My favorite things to witness are Téa's and Yugi's interactions. Knowing how Yugi feels for her, and watching how Téa acts around him tells me that if he were to ask her out she would more-than-likely say yes in a heartbeat. I know that Yugi fears she has feelings for me. I can sense a slight heartache at times coming from him, but if he could only see the things that I witness, then I know his fears would be alleviated.
And I know that for a fact from watching her watch him.