Diary. Journal. Notebook. I don't really know what to call this. I suppose it doesn't really matter, I'm going to be writing in it whatever its name is. Stupid Charlie making me write in a stupid book.
I can't blame him really. Its not like I'm big on opening up. I don't know why that is, just not comfortable with it. Like I'm giving too much away that could be used against me maybe? I don't know, but if I can pin it on some out of control survival instinct, then why the hell not.
It would hurt his feelings if I didn't use it. I might as well.
Not quite sure what to write about though. My feelings? Observations? Thought process? I think I'll start with that one.
It is snowing outside. Watching it fall from my window is quit restful. You can see it underneath the street light. Each flake glows gold , individually fluttering in the breeze. You can tell which direction the wind is blowing in, as they all start tumbling at an angle, then stop and fall straight to the ground, only to get picked back up again. Then they swirl around each other, dancing through the air. They are so pretty. And why does it only really fall at night?
Its crazy to think that they are crystallised cloud, dropping all of those thousands of feet, just to land on the ground to get trodden on. Or made into a man. Or a weapon.
It is settling, but I don't think it will be enough to get the school closed. The news said that we are expecting around 20 inches. I doubt that because that is A LOT of snow. It would be nice if there was though. Would be another day of holiday.
It's doing my head in. I like school and I love learning. I do not like tests. It takes all of the enjoyment out of it. Now I just have to worry if I am putting my opinions across in an exam board approved manner so that I can get those oh-so-sought-after marks. Which, in my opinion, is ridiculous. Takes all of the originality out of it. Plus, what is the point if you can just buy those little pocket study guide things? May as well just memorise that. Doesn't matter, once you've got the grade you just forget it all again.
Wow. I'm quite the pessimist. But I've filled up a whole page. I wish my writing was bigger, then it would be more than that. You know when you try to make your writing bigger on purpose, and it just ends up looking ridiculously stupid? No? Well of course you wouldn't - you are paper.
Oh God. Now I am talking to it. Maybe that's what Charlie's big plan with this was? I can kinda see why it could be a good idea to write in this thing. It can't chat back, can't argue, can't complain. It can just take my ramblings and deal with it. Hm.
Doesn't sound too bad when I put it that way. Maybe it will help me sort things out? If I write it all down, then I can just look back over it and think it though?
That man may be onto something.
It's not too bad to look at really. Hard cover, black, matt. Won't look out of place on my shelf. He said he won't read it, and I believe him. He would be way too scared about what he could find.
And I have always liked writing, so I guess this could be a way of getting out some ideas, see what I can come up with when I'm not pushing myself? I hate it when that happens. Like when you get set Original writing or something and you are trying really hard to make the bears or mountains or whatever sound really deep and effective. Trying to get the image across to the reader without sounding like a complete moron. Then you get writers block and then you can't write the deep rubbish at all.
Ok, not I'm trying to justify it to myself. This is not the way to go.
I shall just have to see what happens really, won't I?
Do you think this is worth carrying on with?
Let me know if you want more!