Disclaimer: Not mine, Bellisario's
The Greatest gift
Mac was dozing. Lying on the couch she looked through her eyelashes at the Christmas tree. The lights seemed to shimmer. Slowly she felt herself drift away into dreamland.
It was almost an hour later when her boyfriend Mic came out of the kitchen with two mugs of coffee. "Sarah," he softly called.
Mac moaned. The voice barely penetrated her foggy brain and to be honest, she didn't want to hear it, didn't want to wake up. The dream was too good.
Again there was that irritating sound "Sarah. Sarah, I brought you coffee."
"Harm," she sighed dreamily.
Suddenly the silence became deafening. Finally Mic said in an icy and accusing voice "I think that said it all. It will always be him, won't it?
Mac was clear awake now. Her first impulse was to deny it but when she opened her mouth Mic shushed her with an angry sweep of his hand. "Don't say anything now, Mac. Don't lie. Just think about it for a minute. Then answer me!"
Mac did as he demanded. To be honest, she didn't have to think long. It was true. Even as she was together with Mic now for almost six months, it was Harm occupying her dreams. He was her true love.
Sadly she looked up to Mic, who was hovering above her, a grim expression on his face. She nodded. "You are right, it will always be Harm."
He let out a breath and she could see him deflate. "Well, that is out in the air now. I go pack and will be out of your hair." Helplessly she saw him walk to the bedroom. She heard the door of the closet and the shifting of the drawers. Ten minutes later he reappeared with two stuffed bags. He made a little round through the living, collecting his belonging scattered there. Then he dropped his key on the table. Mac was still sitting on the couch. She made an attempt to stand but he shook his head. "Don't bother, Mac. I'll see myself out. Goodbye." The door slammed behind him. Silence ruled again.
Suddenly she found herself in front of his building. She debated with herself whether to go in. Probably he was with Renée. But still her feet carried her upstairs. Inside she could hear him play his guitar and sing softly. It was a beautiful melody, although she couldn't quite understand the words.
When he was finished she knocked. She heard the music stop and then steps. The door went open and Mac took in his tall figure eagerly. Even his presence made her feel good.
"Mac!" Harm's voice sounded surprised and happy. "I thought you were celebrating with Mic. "At the mention of the other man's name there was a short flicker of annoyance in his eyes.
Mac shrugged but didn't respond. Instead she asked "can I come in?"
Immediately Harm stepped back, motioning her to come in. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asked, curious why she was showing up at his doorstep so unexpectedly. Not that she was unwelcome…
"Tea will be fine," Mac answered and flopped down on the couch. Without thinking she had chosen her 'own' spot and while he walked to the kitchen to fix her tea Harm couldn't suppress a smile.
He put the tea in front of her and sat next to her waiting for her to speak. It took a while but then she sighed "Mic and I are over."
Harm's jaw dropped. Everything but this ... This he hadn't seen coming!
"What happened?"
"I … I said something stupid. And it went downstairs from that…" Mac more or less explained, not wanting to tell what exactly she had said. "It was very … disclosing. It made perfectly clear why it never really worked between us."
Harm was dying for her to tell more but refrained from asking. After all, it was none of his business.
Mac jumped to her feet, suddenly to jittery to sit. She paced the room a few times before ending up staring out of the window.
"Mic once said I didn't love him, I just didn't want to be alone. And maybe he was right. Maybe I'm not capable to maintaining a relationship, to … love."
Harm took her hand. "Mac, that is not true. I see you, I know you. I know how much love you have in you."
"But I don't like to be alone, that much is true."
Harm realized he should proceed with care. "Let's sit down and I tell you a story." A bit surprised Mac did as he asked.
"When I was at Pensacola, I spend a long weekend at the old farm once, with Grandma Sarah. And I was complaining about the same thing. Even with all my friends I felt lonely. I didn't have a girlfriend. Never had a real one either."
Mac looked bewildered. She had thought he would have had numerous girlfriends during high school. Harm blushed a bit. "You won't believe it, but I was rather shy at high school. Besides that, I was obsessed with finding my dad, remember. And this was before I met Diana. Grams sat with me and talked. She told me it was perfectly all right to long for a mate. That people are social creatures. Grams never was one to scatter Bible verses around but then she quoted from Genesis 'And God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.' She told me that when the time was right I would find mine. But I shouldn't be too critical, for nobody is perfect but at the same time 'aim for the best'. I shouldn't settle for second best only from fear to be alone. That would not be fair, not to me and not to my partner. There is nothing wrong with living as companions rather that husband and wife, as long as you both feel good about it but she felt I was much too young for that and she didn't think I would ever be happy in such a relationship. Mac, what you had with Mic…"He hesitated for a second. "You know I was never a big fan of him." Mac screwed up her face. He didn't need to tell her that. "That doesn't give me the right to criticise your relation. But I think you deserve the best and …"
Mac nodded slowly "And that Mic was second best." She rose again and stood before the window once more. "You are right. Even though Mic loved me and I loved him back, it was not enough. He was a second choice." She snorted. "I'm a sucker for men telling me they want me." She knew who her first choice was and he was standing only feet away. If only he would tell her he wanted her. He wasn't perfect and there would be bumps in the road but still he was the man she longed for.
Harm didn't know what to say so opted for keeping silent. He wished he could tell Mac she was his number one and would always be, but he feared she would reject him. After a while Mac said "You were playing when I arrived."
Glad she broke the silence before it could become awkward Harm nodded. "I did. Do you want me to play some more?"
Mac smiled "That would be great." She meant it; she always enjoyed listening to his playing and singing, even if he didn't do it often.
Harm was happy to humour her. He was prepared to do everything to wipe the sad expression from her face. He started with Silent Night and worked his way down through The Little Drummer Boy, O Holy Night and many others till finally he couldn't think of a another one.
Mac had been sitting and listening and now gave him a soft smile. "Thank you, I really liked it. But when I arrived you were playing a different song?" The innuendo was clear; she wanted him to play that one but Harm hesitated. He was afraid the song would give away more than he was prepared to. But as usual, he couldn't resist the pleading look in her deep brown eyes. Hiding a sigh he strummed the strings again and opened his mouth.
Dawn slowly breaking
Our friends have all gone home
You and I are waiting
For Santa Claus to come
There's a present by the tree
Stockings on the wall
And knowing you're in love with me
Is the greatest gift of all.
At the first notes Mac had closed her eyes and let his voice wash over her again. It took till the end of the first verse before she paid attention to the words.
The fire is slowly fading
Chill is in the air
All the gifts are waiting
For children everywhere
Through the window I can see
Snow begin to fall
Knowing you're in love with me
Is the greatest gift of all.
By now Mac felt a strange tension within. There was something is his voice … like it wasn't just another Christmas song … like the words were a message … like he meant them one by one.
Just before I go to sleep
I hear a church bell ring
Merry Christmas everyone
is the song it sings
so I say a silent prayer
for creatures great and small
Peace on Earth, good will to men
is the greatest gift of all.
Peace on...
Mac eyes fluttered open and she stared at him. Their eyes locked. Harm played a postlude. "Knowing you're in love with me is the greatest gift of all" he repeated before the music faded away. His eyes never leaving hers he put the guitar next to the sofa.
Mac was like mesmerised. "Would it be?" she whispered.
He nodded solemnly.
"What would be my gift?"
"I love you. I am in love with you," Harm softly said. He gave her time to let the words sink in. then he slowly leaned in to kiss her.
But just before his lips touched hers Mac pulled back.
"Renée?" she asked.
"She and I are history," Harm declared.
"Since when?
"A few weeks." It seemed like he blushed slightly.
What happened?"
Now his face was definitely a darker shade.
"It … well…" he stammered. "Actually after my fall from the Admiral's chair. You know I hit my head but waved it aside and said I was fine. But I wasn't! I was seeing things. I saw you …" he felt silence.
"You saw me?" Mac asked surprised. "That's not weird. I was there."
"No," shook Harm. "I saw you holding … our baby." Mac gasped.
"Renée was there, pregnant as well," he continued "In fact all women at the office were expecting. And I was the father of all of the children." Now he was beet red and despite the serious situation Mac burst into laughter. "You must have been busy," she teased.
"And then I went home. Renée was there, too. For real. She was preparing dinner and told me to sit down and rest. And then I saw you again, coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel and water droplets. And I asked you what you were doing."
Mac's jaw dropped. "That didn't go well with Renée, I suppose," she managed to bring out.
"No. She was … well, furious and sad at the same time. That was when we both knew it was over. Even if we didn't say it out loud. The next day she went on an assignment. When she returned we tried again…"
"Why?" Mac wanted to know.
"Guilt, I guess. She didn't deserve it."
"Anyway, we had a heart to heart and decided to end our relationship."
He leaned in again and this time Mac didn't pull back. Their lips met halfway, warm and tender. When they split, both had an equally dazed expression on their faces. Mac slowly touched his face.
"This is happening?" she asked dreamily.
"Yes," Harm answered equally softly.
Mac sighed and snuggled in and Harm was most happy to wrap his arms around her.
After a moment she said. "I was almost falling asleep this afternoon. Then came Mic waking me up because he made coffee. And I called him 'Harm'. After that … it was over very soon."
Harm chuckled. "So our breaking-ups were almost the same."
Suddenly he jumped to his feet, headed over to his stereo and hit the play-button. The voices of a duo, a man and a woman, filled the air. Mac recognized the melody immediately. Harm reached out with his hand. "Dance with me," he requested. Mac took his hand again they were in each others arms, slowly swaying on the beat of the music. Harm softly sang the words with the music Knowing you're in love with me is the greatest gift of all."
The second time Mac sang along, before pulling his head down for another kiss.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!