Part 1 - A bump in the road

Chapter 1

Once upon a time there were two very sweet and very handsome boys: one fair with beautiful blue eyes which became indescribably stunning when he was either very angry or very passionate, and one dark-haired with warm brown eyes which spoke volumes without a word being said.

When these two boys met it was murder – not really; when they met it was true love, pure and simple. Actually, it was friendship which quickly blossomed into a deep and enduring love. And although they tried to resist at first (particularly Craig), in the end they knew they could only ever be completely happy if they were together. So after a sunset ending which was truly fitting for a love so pure, they went off to Dublin and lived happily ever after, until...

It's 7.30am on the morning of 26 June 2011, and Craig Dean is sitting at the breakfast bar of his New York apartment drinking his first cup of coffee of the day and reading the paper, or at least trying to – he's been finding it almost impossible to focus on anything since his boyfriend John Paul walked out three days ago. It's his birthday today, and he should be very happy; his life has turned out just as he always wanted it to. After both he and JP graduated from Trinity earlier in the year, they came to New York and got jobs almost immediately (Craig at a consultancy firm and JP in advertising). They'd spent two and a half blissful years together in Dublin; and although working hard, had always found time for each other - they were a perfect fit.

As he drinks his coffee, Craig finds his mind drifting back to his last birthday in Hollyoaks. He remembers how he felt when he saw JP walk into the Hollyoaks Student Bar to join him, Sarah and Jake to celebrate, and knows his feelings are just as strong now as they were then. In fact, they are even stronger now because he's gotten to know JP so much better and their shared experiences have brought them closer together. He knows JP loves him and cares about him more than he's ever cared about anyone. He has proven his love in a so many different ways over the years; and yet during the time since they arrived in New York, Craig has felt JP gradually slipping away from him.

He cannot pinpoint the exact moment things started to go wrong - this is of course a lie, he knows it began the moment JP introduced him to Jack Geller, his new work buddy, the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even before Craig met him, he knew all about Jack, because JP never stopped talking about him. When they were at Uni, it was Craig showing JP the ropes, and everything JP talked about was stuff they had in common. But now he is in his new working environment, a place Craig has no connection with, with new friends, including Jack (Craig hates Jack soooooooooooo much). He knows it is selfish of him to be thinking this way, but it hasn't helped that JP settled in so quickly to life in New York. Craig cannot explain to JP what he is feeling because he wouldn't understand. JP is the sort of person who can walk into any room and see the people there as his equals - he is fearless.

Putting the brakes on his uncomfortable thoughts, Craig gets up, rinses his coffee cup and heads off to work.

Across town, JP has just woken, and for a second he thinks all is well in his world; but then everything comes back to him and his eyes well up, as they've done many times over the last three long days. He sees the time on the clock and realises that he's slept through the alarm again, making him late for work. He just cannot get used to waking up without Craig. In the years they've been together, it has always been Craig who wakes first in the mornings. He usually wakes JP by snuggling up close to him, and playfully nibbling on his ear or kissing his cheek whilst whispering "Hon, it's time to get up, wakey, wakey" until he is almost fully awake. Craig then drags him into the shower, where they spend a lot more time than they need to. JP smiles, remembering, but then realises he has to pull himself together as time is passing. He determinedly pushes all thoughts of Craig and their morning routine to the back of his mind and drags himself out of bed.

When he walks into the kitchen, Jack is already there. He smiles, says "Good morning," and offers him a cup of coffee.

JP remembers that Craig made the best coffee, and then mentally bashes himself about the head. "He's not dead, you fool," he mutters to himself. He hurriedly takes a few sips of the coffee and heads off to work.

As he closes the apartment door, he hears Jack calling after him, "What about my good morning kiss?"

Jack enjoys teasing JP about what happened. And even though it touches a raw nerve, he's not going to complain – being relieved that Jack is taking it all so lightly, seeing as Craig almost accidentally knocked him from JP's and Craig's sixth-storey apartment balcony that surreal night three days ago. JP has never seen him so angry, and still can't believe he went so far. Since it happened, Craig won't speak to him, take his calls or return his texts. He knows that his staying in Jack's apartment will only add to the weight of evidence against him in Craig's mind. But after Craig threw him out, Jack's spare room was his only option, and he has been so depressed since that he hasn't been able to face trying to find anywhere else. Of course, taking the step of finding a more suitable place to stay would also be an admission that this is going to be a more permanent situation, and there is no way JP can deal with that.

Meanwhile, Craig has arrived at work and is trying to get through his workload, but with little success as he keeps getting distracted by thoughts of JP. He knows that he is shortly going to be 'surprised' with a big cake, and everyone is going to the pub after work to celebrate his birthday with him, for which he should be grateful. But although he will smile and laugh through it all, he knows that only JP could make his birthday truly happy.

JP is getting on no better at work than Craig, but things are a bit easier for him as he has confided in the two guys he works closest with about their fall-out, and so does not have to walk around with a forced smile all day. He did try to phone Craig twice to wish him a happy birthday but his phone was turned off - he will try again later. It makes him even more miserable to realise that he can't be with him on his birthday of all days. When he thinks about what happened (which he often does), he can now see how Jack being a part-time DJ would have been a problem for Craig – with him and Jack having loads in common work-wise and social-wise, Craig obviously felt left out. This might all have occurred to JP sooner, but he had been so caught up in his exciting new life in New York that he'd completely missed any signs of Craig being unhappy. And to be honest, things had been so great since they left Hollyoaks that the thought never crossed his mind that Craig might suddenly start to doubt him after all this time.

Craig is grinning from ear to ear. He's lost count of how many beers he's had - every time his glass comes close to emptying someone swaps it for another - turns out he's not as good at hiding his heartache as he thought, and everyone's decided he needs cheering up. One of his colleagues, Phil, wants to cheer him up so much that he has to explain that no matter how drunk he gets, he will never be able to cheat on his beloved JP. He then proceeds to tell Phil all about JP for almost an hour before the guy manages to escape. Life is good - he doesn't give a sh*t about anyone or anything - he is Craig Dean, hotshot consultant - bring it on. In fact, by about 2.00am, he has decided that he cares so little about JP that he's going to go straight over to Mr Jack "I've met Brad Pitt twice" Geller's pad and tell the loved-up couple exactly what he thinks of them - he feels a bit dizzy, but that's no biggie. He gets into a taxi and heads off to have a showdown. When he arrives at the apartment block he cannot remember which one is Jack's, and so decides to ring every buzzer until he gets the right one - he cannot stop giggling when he thinks about the amount of trouble Jack will get into with his neighbours over this (it's quite a poncy-looking building). He rings the buzzer of the first flat three or four times and eventually hears Jack's sleepy and disgruntled voice on the other end – bummer. He tells Jack who he is, and demands to be let in. He is buzzed in without comment, and a few minutes later is banging on the apartment door, which is opened by JP - Craig raises his hand to make an angry gesture, takes a deep breath to start his rant, and promptly passes out. A surprised JP manages to catch him before he hits the floor.

After JP has settled Craig on the sofa and put a quilt over him, he goes into the kitchen to speak to Jack.

"I'm so sorry," he says sincerely. "I'm not sure what's gotten into him, although it's his birthday today so that might explain the state he's in. To be honest, he never could hold his drink."

"That boy is definitely not boring," says Jack smiling. "He loves making a dramatic entrance, doesn't he? Has he always been like this?"

JP then starts to tell Jack about Craig, going back to the first time they met. The longer he talks, the more Jack realises that it's not patience he's going to need if he's going to get anywhere with JP, it's a miracle. The love and affection in his voice when he talks about Craig are unmistakable. When Jack eventually manages to break into JP's ever more excited chatter about the wonders of Craig, he tells him that as Craig is obviously so important to him, he has to find a way to work things out. Jack doesn't mention Craig's attack on him; he knows he wouldn't have let him fall from the balcony that night. In fact, when Craig realised where they were and the danger, he immediately pulled Jack back into the apartment, and seemed as shocked himself about what he had just done as Jack was.

Shortly after, on his way back to bed, JP stops for a minute to watch Craig as he sleeps.

He is lying exactly as JP left him earlier, but with one foot sticking out from under the quilt. He's wearing a pair of JP's multi-coloured socks (all Craig's socks are either navy, black or white); but JP doesn't read anything into this until he notices that Craig is also wearing his watch instead of Craig's own, and the ring he gave JP the previous Christmas: because they knew it would be their last Christmas in Ireland, JP and Craig had bought each other identical rings with a Celtic design, which would always remind them of a wonderful time - Craig is now wearing both.

JP's heart melts at these little signs that Craig is missing him.

Studying him more closely, JP notices how pale and tired he looks. He wants so badly to comfort him but knows that Craig would only push him away - somehow he has himself so completely convinced that JP cheated on him, that he can't recognise the truth when he hears it. JP now realises that it's up to him to force the issue and decide things one way or the other. As he heads off to bed, there is a determined look on his face.