It was safe to say at this point in his life, Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin was beyond fucked.

Totally.
Absolutely.
Fucked.

Now, you would probably be asking me, dear reader, what kind for trouble Eggsy was in. Well, safe assured, he hasn't stolen a car, he isn't drunk a hasn't been in almost 6 months or more and hasn't ingested one illegal substance.

Nope, Eggsy would have traded his current state of affairs for any one of those right now.

Instead, Eggsy has to watch one of the men who shaped him from his shitty life, look for bugs in his rundown hotel room, while carrying the child of a supposed dead man that no one was supposed to know about. Ever.

"I can't fucking believe this dump, Eggsy. This place could be crawling with - " Eggsy cut Merlin off with a tired sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don't mate."

Merlin, the wanker, frowned at him. "I will lecture all I want Eggsy Unwin. I almost had to send Lancelot to Europe to track you down and Galahad almost had a stroke when you disappeared. They're almost half dead in London because of you."

Okay, that stung a bit. Eggsy couldn't bear the thought of Roxy being that determined. But, he guessed that Roxy would run to the ends of the Earth for him, knowing her personality. As for Harry, after that incident with Valentine, he wasn't the same man. Even if Eggsy loved him.

It was all so simple. Roxy held a Kingman Christmas party at HQ to celebrate the year. Eggsy on one hand, had too much to drink and Harry, with his stupid ideas, decided he would be the one to drop Eggsy off at home. Big Mistake. As th evidence suggests, they didn't make it past Harry's own home before everything came to a head.

When he had found out about the baby, it was with his own GP in small room in the middle of London. He left in disbelief afterwards, but soon was freaking out. So, he ran and hid like a coward.

Tears started to boil up into Eggsy's eyes and he tried to wipe them, one accidently dropping onto his now rather rounded stomach, once flat abs smoothed out and rounded like a slightly deflated beach ball. Sensing his distress, the little one started up, wriggling a withering around to be noticed.

Eggsy chuckle a little, seeing Merlin turn out of the corner of his eye as he gently poked at the parts that went through the skin. "It's alright little bit…" He murmured, words sounding warm as the child calmed down. "It's alright."

"You know…" Merlin finally spoke, softer this time, but no less brash. "This is going to take a lot of explaining. You know he's going to kill you, right?"

Eggsy looked up at Merlin. "What makes you think I'm coming back with you?" Merlin just glared him down angrily at that sentence.

Eggsy growled, frustrated as he managed to get up (on his own thankfully, he'd die if he asked Merlin for help.) Couldn't they fucking just leave him alone?! "Fucking fine, alright! Fuck you!" He slammed the bathroom door on Merlin (in his face no less) and sat down on the toilet, breaking down rather quickly with his head in his hands.

Merlin sighed.

It was going to be a long night.