That was just the way I loved you…

Sam walked out of the house that Dean had bought with Castiel fuming. But there needs to be some background before why Sam is fuming will make any sense.

Dean and Cas had only been together for about four months officially, but they might has well have started dating upon their first meeting. Every few seconds they would stare at each other and look away and blush tomato freaking red every time someone realized that they were eye fucking. It started off really cute, but when it continued to happen after they had known each other for a year and neither of them had said anything about it, then it was annoying.

It took Dean for-fucking-ever to realize that he loved Castiel, and once he did, he almost lost him. Dean pushed and shoved Castiel away for a month, and Castiel almost took the hint and left. In fact, he was halfway out the door when Dean decided that realizing that he was gay and hating himself for it wasn't worth losing the only person he ever loved that wasn't blood related.

Sam was happy for them. They were perfect for each other. Dean made Castiel a bit wilder, and Castiel made Dean a little more grounded. There was nothing that would be able to tear them apart. It was like they were made for one another.

When Sam went to meet Castiel's family, he was immediately drawn to Gabriel. All of Castiel's other brothers were standoffish and came off as cruel and uncaring. Sam guessed that it was the stark contrast that Gabriel was to all of the others that drew him in. Sam found himself talking to the shorter man at events that Sam and Dean were invited to and soon Sam and Gabriel started dating.

It was a rollercoaster ride every day. Gabriel was like a child in that he ate too much candy, was always up to something and had absolutely no regard for the rules of society. Gabriel did what he wanted and dared anyone and everyone to tell him that he couldn't. They never did. That was another thing that he loved about Gabriel. There was this air of authority about him that made people listen to him, but he hardly abused that trick.

Sam loved the unknown that was associated with being with Gabriel. He really did. But soon Sam started to crave stability and to have a normal relationship like Castiel and Dean did. They were happy with stability and Sam wanted that happiness. He knew he couldn't have that with Gabriel and so he started to lash out. They fought more and more often and soon, they broke up. There was too much pain for there to be anything worth fighting over. Gabriel always was a lover, not a fighter anyway.

So Sam left. He had hurt, just like any relationship that ends does, and he tried to move on, he really did. But there was still a piece of him that was still mourning over the loss of the love and affection that he had with Gabriel. He started dating another guy, and he tried to be happy. He was almost forgetting why he hurt so much when he thought of Gabriel.

Until, of course, Dean and Castiel invited him to their house warming party. Sam went alone, due to his boyfriend being on a business trip, but that was fine. He would just make an appearance and then leave. That was the plan, at least.

It was threatening to rain when Sam got to the house. He walked in and found Dean, handing over the housewarming gift that was a 6 pack of beer with a bow on it. Dean grinned at him and they started to talk. They managed to hide away in the kitchen, just bantering like brothers do, when two things happened at once. Castiel decided that he was going to try his hand at grilling and the doorbell rang. Dean shot a pleading look at Sam and ran to the backyard before Castiel could burn the new house down and Sam went to go get the door. When he wrenched it open, he froze.

Gabriel was standing in the door way next to an Indian woman. She was tall and lean and had a perpetual scowl on her face, which just made her that much more attractive. When the door was opened, she brushed past the man at the door and went deeper into the house, probably looking for something that could be described as suitable company to her. Gabriel, on the other hand, continued to stand in the doorway and stare.

Sam.

He hadn't expected Sam, for some reason. He wasn't ready for the swirl of emotions that flew through him at warp speed and landed roughly on regret and sadness. He coughed and tried to clear the lump that was rising in his throat. Sam granted mercy on him through and just turned from the door. No hello, no greeting at all, just left Gabriel standing there and went back to the kitchen and his beer. Gabriel followed him, mostly because there was nothing else to do. The glare that he got for his trouble, though, made him keep walking out to the yard to go find Castiel.

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Sam sucked down the last of his beer and went to go find Dean and tell him that he was leaving. When he walked outside, big, fat raindrops were starting to fall and Dean and Cas were trying to get everyone inside. Sam found Dan amid the throng of people and grabbed his arm. Dean turned, saw the expression on Sam's face and understood. "Gabriel?" Dean asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, I'm going to head out. I'll see you soon, yeah?" Sam asked hopefully. Just because his brother moved away didn't mean that they wouldn't see each other again.

"Yeah, call me when you get home," Dean replied and hugged his brother quickly. Wow, Cas must really be rubbing off on him. He turned from the mass of people and started to walk out the side lot of the house and down the road to his car. Fuming.

Gabriel saw Sam leaving and made a split decision. He went after Sam, having to jog to keep up with the moose of a man. "Sam!" he yelled, hoping to get the man's attention. It just made Sam walk faster. There was no way that calling out to him was going to stop the Sasquatch, so Gabriel took off at a run and grabbed Gigantor's arm. Sam whirled on him and growled out, "What?"

"I just want to talk to you. I feel like I haven't in ages. What have you been up to?" Gabriel asked. There was a hint of desperation in his voice and it clawed at Sam. He didn't want to have to deal with this. There was still too much hurt there, and the more that Sam was around Gabriel, the more potent it became.

"I don't want to talk. I thought that we were done talking. Especially after you told me that I don't listen to anyone and that I never let anyone in," Sam spat back. Gabriel flinched; felt as though he was burned. He could tell Sam was glad, sort of, that he could get a reaction out of Gabriel. He knew Sam felt like he never could when they were dating. On the other hand, he could tell that Sam was hurting. That he felt like hurting Gabriel was just hurting himself. Gabriel saw the realization in Sam's eyes; he didn't want to hurt Gabriel. Sam tried to walk away, but Gabriel's voice wrapped around him effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"I miss you," he said quietly. By the time that the sound reached Sam's ears, it was just a whisper, but it stopped Sam in his tracks, and that was just enough of a sign. "I miss you, Sam. I miss screaming and fighting with you and crying about it later. I miss kissing you in the rain and tasting the taste of you on my tongue mixed with the rain. I miss waiting for you at two in the morning and cursing your name because all I want is to go to sleep, but I knowing that I won't be able to until you're holding me. I was so in love that I acted insane, I know that now, but that's the way I loved you…Breaking down and coming undone…no one has ever done that to me. It's kind of like…like a roller coaster, kind of; a rush. I never knew I could feel that much and that scared the hell out of me. So I pushed you away. I'm sorry, I know that that was wrong now," Gabriel rambled. He knew he was rambling, but Sam had turned around to face him in that time that he was rambling and he couldn't stop. He knew that if he stopped, that Sam would leave again and he couldn't bear that. He couldn't walk out again…he couldn't bear it. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused you and that even though I was fucked up and crazy, that's the way I loved you," Gabriel finished.

His voice was a rasping whisper, but he didn't care. He was so relieved that Sam stayed to hear the whole thing. There might be a shot. Just a small one, but that hope was an oasis in a desert of grief and he couldn't stop himself from plunging head long into hope. He stood there, in the rain, soaked to the bone and waited for Sam's reaction.

"That's the way that I loved you." That phrase rang in Sam's head over and over again. Love. Gabriel had loved him. Gabriel had loved him and he was scared because he had never loved anyone else before. Everything started to make sense. It wasn't that Gabriel was a bad boyfriend and that he was a commit-i-phobe. It was that he was afraid and he wanted to do the hurting before he got hurt. He should have known. It was a classic Dean move.

Love. Gabriel loved him. That was all that mattered.

Sam thawed suddenly and walked slowly up to Gabriel. The shorter man had his head down and was waiting for the onslaught of mean and terrible things that Sam could have said. He was completely unprepared for the quiet reply that came from a person that was a lot closer than he expected.

"I missed you too," Sam said as he raised Gabriel's head. When their eyes met, Sam very slowly leaned down and kissed Gabriel's mouth. It was sweet and chaste and it was all the tenderness that Sam had in his body poured into one kiss and placed lovingly on the man that he loved. When he pulled back, Sam looked into Gabriel's eyes and said, "And I loved you, too."

Gabriel thought his heart might stop. Sam missed him. That was enough. He would take that and run with it if it meant that he could get Sam back and heal this freaking chasm that had opened up where his abdomen should have been. The kiss that followed that admission almost had Gabriel in tears. There was so much packed into such a small gesture, but it meant the world to him. When Sam pulled away, Gabriel's eyes were suspiciously bright. With the declaration of love from Sam, the long held back tears broke free and Gabriel fell into the taller man's arms.

Sam held Gabriel, and wiped away the tears that he promised that he would never see on this man, his angel's face, ever again.