Author's Note: Just know, I normally put this at the bottom, but I felt to put it up here to warn you all. This fanfic isn't like anything else I've ever written before. To explain, I was in the last two weeks of my mission looking at some old ideas I had written down at the beginning of my mission when I came across this idea. It had been right at the back of one of my notebooks only as a title. I hadn't written down the idea, yet I remembered the concept I had for it, and I found the concept so hilarious that I told it to the missionary I was with. We then laughed and talked and joked with each other about it... and this was the end result, modified by me a bit. You're welcome ezrapasse. I hope and pray that the rest of your mission goes well. ;).
Deathstroke the... Shipper?
Today's scene is set in the Titan's Common Room in the middle of a nice wintery (at least by Southern California Coast Standards) day. The sun was shining in a cloudless sky outside the windows. It was a perfect balmy 70 degrees both outside and inside. The best part; the rest of the Titans were out in town for the whole day, which allowed the two relaxing Titans on the couch the whole day to themselves alone in the Tower.
"And the, um, uh, wrodpher?-" "Roster." "Oh, thanks Rae. And the roster was, hmmmm, full?" *nod* "Of… degshatatives-" "Detectives Gar." "Yeah yeah Rae. And the roster was full of detectives, to choose from."
You all probably know which two Titans it is by this point. ;)
Beast Boy and Raven sat side by side on the couch. A small novel hovered on a diagonal black disk between the two, which allowed Beast Boy to read aloud, and for Raven to correct him as he read. While he wasn't a fan of her correcting him every time he said a word wrong, being allowed to hold hands and cuddle with her very much made up for it.
It wasn't the craziest thing they could have done together in their free time. It felt pretty slow to Beast Boy in all honesty since he still struggled with reading. But the reading was part of a compromise they made with each other before they started dating. The compromise was that he'd spend an hour or two a week with her doing something she liked, and then she'd spend an hour or two a week with him doing something he liked.
It was a little bumpy at times here and there. Overall though the compromise had worked out surprisingly well. Plus, besides the chance to cuddle, there had been some other unforeseen consequences because of the deal.
Beast Boy now had a favorite series of novels he was trying to read on his own. His comic books were gathering dust in his room because of this. He couldn't help it either. He really appreciated the fact that there was an author who wrote about cool mythologies with a modern twist. His favorite character from said author was an animorph named Frank. He thought he was pretty cool, though Beast Boy wished he could do something like kill a few poisonous cows and become all big and buff; without killing a bunch of cows of course. (Once a vegan, always a vegan)
Raven, surprisingly, was also beginning to like one of his game series. She'd never go for Super Smash Monkeys V or any of the other ones, but she was really starting to like Kingdom Hearts. It had started out a little bland to her at first. Go around, destroy heartless, beat bosses, etc., but then she had slowly started to get into it as the plot thickened. It helped that she could relate to the characters at times, like being raised like a Nobody, or having to deal with the darkness inside her heart constantly. She especially liked how it portrayed the battle between darkness and light.
She still wouldn't be caught dead playing it alone. She'd stick with the excuse that she played it with Beast Boy under their 'compromise' because it was his least annoying game that he had. Though the Keyblade chain necklace around her neck that he had given her as a gift last week was a pretty obvious give away that she was falling for the game. Along with the new Sora, Riku, Kairie, Roxas, Xion, and Axel minifigures on the nightstand in her room.
Plus, as mentioned before (and probably Beast Boy's favorite benefit), it gave them the opportunity to cuddle together. Something that didn't normally happen between them since Raven, being as private as she was, didn't like to display affection that often around others, even her own teammates.
Robin and Starfire already had a lot of paparazzi and crazy shipper fans to deal with as it was. Raven didn't feel ready to have that same kind of attention on her too whenever she went out in public. And though Beast Boy didn't show it, he honestly didn't feel ready for that kind of attention either. Sure he enjoyed being the center of attention at a party, but not one that had the possibility to stretch on for months and years on end.
…
"That, was when he chose, the prefect-" "Perfect." "Uh huh. Perfect, man for the job." Beast Boy finished the chapter.
The book closed in front of them. "How well did I do this time pretty mama?" Beast Boy asked her.
Raven blushed a little bit. "Could you just use the normal nickname you have for me Gar?" She asked.
He smiled toothily at her. "Okay okay dude. How did I do pretty Rae?" He asked again.
Raven tried to not focus on the blush that was deepening on her face from being called pretty. "You did better. You were able to finish the chapter within the hour this time."
Beast Boy sat back into the couch. "Wow. That chapter there was so boring too. Like there was no action or nothing dude." He said.
Raven rolled her eyes. "It's a detective book Gar. It's meant to show how a character solves a mystery."
He rolled his eyes at that. "Why can't the mystery be more action packed? Cause if there ain't no bullets flying around on every page, then it's a pretty boring mystery to me." He said.
Raven almost wanted to chuckle at his comment. It was so ridiculous to her how he looked so serious about it. "Alright. We'll try a different book next time." She relented.
Beast Boy looked up to her in slight surprise. Then his smile grew bigger on his face before he squeezed her hand. "Thanks Rae." He said.
The two of them stared each other in the eyes for a moment… it was moments like this where it just felt like their connection ran deeper between them. Like it wasn't them doing something together out of a compromise, but because both of them wanted to do something together...
Beep!
The two looked up at the screen in surprise. A red button was flashing on the control console.
Beast Boy looked confused. "Huh. I wonder who's calling us now?" Beast Boy asked himself.
"Probably whoever is on the other end." Raven said sarcastically.
Beast Boy rolled his eyes a little at that as he stood up. "Yeah yeah. Thanks Miss Smartypants." He grumbled.
Raven smirked a little bit. "Your welcome Mr. Fat Cat." She said.
Beast Boy got to the console and pressed the receive call button after checking the ID to see who was calling in. If Raven had gotten another rise out of the changeling, he didn't show it. "Alright, what is it now Rob-" He was saying.
"Greetings Titans." A voice said interrupting Beast Boy as a familiar figure appeared on the screen. The two of them looked a little surprised since the Caller ID had been Robin..
"Slade?" Beast Boy asked.
"In the flesh." He said emotionlessly.
The two looked shocked for a couple seconds. "I have a message to give to you Titans-" He started to continue.
"Ugh."
Raven's groan of annoyance interrupted him. "Don't tell me you hacked Robin's number to call us again." She said irritably.
Slade looked slightly taken back on the screen. "No, I didn't do that. I'm using his-" He was saying.
Beast Boy's surprise also turned into an annoyed look. "Dude, don't you realize it's like, supposed to be our team's day off today. Couldn't you have like, chosen another day to mess with us or something dude?" Beast Boy asked.
Slade now looked a little confused, and a little annoyed at being blown off. "I'm sorry. Did you two wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He asked almost sarcastically with his hands on his hips.
"Um, duh. It's kind of like our sit back and relax day, and you're like ruining it for us dude." Beast Boy said.
"I was honestly hoping we'd have no one interrupt our relaxing time here in the Tower either." Raven said blandly.
Slade's eye narrowed at them. This wasn't making any sense. "Why are you two acting like-" He was saying, when his eye widened in realization. "Wait." He looked around the room. His eye caught the closed book, the powered down GameStation, several other different things that only he could observe from their body language. "Blowing me, your archnemesis off like I'm not important! The remnants of a blush on Raven's face! Why would she have been blushing unless- *Gasp!* Two indents on the couch cushions!" His tone got more excited with each word.
The two Titans seemed a little caught off guard. Slade's personality was transforming on the screen in front of them. "No other Titans in sight! You two alone on the couch in the Tower! There's only one thing this could possibly mean!"
Soon, it was no longer Deathstroke the Terminator in front of them... it was Deathstroke the Shipper who raised his hands in victory above his head. "I knew it! I so freaking knew it! My favorite ship of all time has been confirmed! My favorite fetching ship has finally been confirmed!" He yelled happily, repeating himself in his excitement.
The two heroes looked surprised (probably a weak word to describe seeing their fiercesome archnemesis acting so out of character). I mean, he wasn't wrong that they were together. But to them they hadn't really done anything extravagant or whatever to get that kind of a response from what appeared to be a major fan.
Besides, there was much more confusing things then that.
"Favorite, ship?" Beast Boy asked as he scratched his head in confusion.
"Confirmed?" Raven asked.
"BBxRae! It's real! It's finally real! Woohooooo! Wintergreen!" Slade ran away from the console as he cheered.
The two blinked rapidly, as if they couldn't believe their eyes (they most likely didn't). In the background Slade could be seen cheering happily. A very surprised Wintergreen got swooped into a massive hug when he came in holding a tray with Slade's tea on it. "It happened Wintergreen! It's finally happened! My two favorite Titans finally got together!" Slade yelled happily before releasing him. "This is the best day of my life!" Slade continued running and cheering.
Wintergreen quietly dusted off his shoulder and exited the room. It looked like he didn't want to question (or deal with) Slade's sudden OOCness.
The two Titans sweatdropped and looked at each other. "I, um, guess we have another crazy fan?" Beast Boy said in confusion.
"I, guess we do." Raven said in an uncomfortable tone. It turned out that the idea of having the Titans main nemesis be a fan of their relationship was making them more than a little uncomfortable. (Can you blame them?)
...
"Yeah, this is a little too weird for me dude." Beast Boy admitted.
"Ditto." She said.
"Any ideas on what to do Rae?" Beast Boy asked.
Before she could respond, a smiling happy looking Slade reappeared at the screen. He looked to have calmed a little bit. "You two seriously have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! Like, it's been years!" It wasn't by much to be honest.
"Really?" Raven asked skeptically.
"You two looked to click so well with each other when I first watched you interact on camera." He said happily.
"Wait, you watched us on camera dude?!" Beast Boy asked.
"Yes, back when you first built the Tower and I was planning on how to destroy all of you. Just watching you two interact made me secretly hope you'd get together. And now it's finally happened!" Slade yelled in victory.
The two didn't really know if it was because their arguments back then would have divided the team, or if Slade was being sincere. The whole situation was mind boggling as it was.
"You mean, you've been expecting this to happen, for years?" Raven again asked skeptically.
"Of course. I mean I was a little worried when Terra started to intervene, but I took care of that obstacle real easily." He said almost offhandedly.
Beast Boy looked caught off guard at that. "What!? You didn't just turn Terra against us to try and destroy us?!" He asked angrily.
"Of course. Of course I didn't. I always have more than one reason for what I do, and that girl was ruining my plans for getting you two to get together." He said with a wave of dismissal. "Now enough about that blonde bitch. Give me the juicy details! How long have you two been together!? What stage in your relationship are you at? Are you at the holding hands stage, the hugging stage, the making out stage, possibly more?" He wiggled his eyebrow under his helmet with that last statement.
The two looked way weirded out that the middle aged villain was now trying to pick at their love life. "Um, only like half a year. And I mean, we're trying to take it slow. It's not like we don't make out very often-" Beast Boy was saying.
"But you do make out!" Slade said in victory.
The two blushed, and Raven glared at her boyfriend. "You promised not to tell anyone." She said through gritted teeth.
"That does it! Now I have to hack into your mainframe again and get all the videos for myself!" He yelled in victory.
The glare quickly fell off of Raven's face. "Wait, but there isn't supposed to be-" Raven was saying as Slade quickly pressed a few buttons.
A video appeared over a corner of the screen.
"Mmm. Mmmmm." The screen showed a clear video of the two of them making out in a deserted hallway of the Tower.
"Um, heh heh, oops." Beast Boy said to himself nervously.
Raven turned to give a four eyed glare at Beast Boy. "I thought you said there was no cameras in that part of the Tower." She said icily.
"I guess the key phrase there was that I thought." Beast Boy said with a little bit of a nervous chuckle.
Raven's glare was as cold as ice. "Awww, I always find it so cute when you two get in your little fights with each other." Slade said on the screen. Then his single eye widened a little bit. "You said not that often, but I'm getting videos almost every day back to three months ago of you two making out." Slade said in surprise.
The two of them looked back to the screen again. A mortified expression was on Raven's face now. Slade was shuffling through video after video of them in the same deserted hallway. Most were simple make outs. A few, if twisted the wrong way, looked very incriminating.
The two not only looked angry, but were starting to blush heavily. They had just looked at it as heavily kissing each other. Watching it on video made it look a whole lot worse.
Slade smiled really widely on the screen. "This is amazing! My plan finally worked! It took years of meddling here and there, but it finally paid off!"
Beast Boy moaned almost as if he was in pain. "Please don't tell me you're saying that you did more than manipulate Terra!?" Beast Boy asked defeatedly.
"Oh, I ran the animal DNA lab that unlocked your dark Beast. Adonis really did me a great service there. And I also secretly put Malchior's book in Raven's library for her to find and read. You know, just little bits here and there that would help you two to grow and rely on each other. And as I can see here, it worked!" He said happily.
The video on the screen showed Raven open a portal, and they stepped in still kissing each other. Beast Boy looked like he wanted to curl over onto the floor and die. Raven looked really peeved off. Her pale face was taking on a greater tinge of red. Fortunately (this time) it wasn't because she was about to turn into some demon that was going to destroy the world. Even her ears were blushing with her embarrassed face.
"You mean, all this time, you've been meddling with our lives, breaking our hearts using other people, forcing us into situations where we'd learn on each other, just, as some ploy, to get us together?!" She started icily, but then got so angry to the point that she screamed it out at the end.
…
"Does that mean you didn't want to be with me Raven?" Beast Boy asked sadly.
Raven looked back to him at that. His ears were drooping down, and he looked down. A lot of her anger disappeared. "Of course not Gar. You are a very nice guy... Much nicer than what I deserve." She said as she shyly put her hand in his.
"Do you mean it?" He asked.
She gave him a small nod. "Of course. I'm not idiotic enough to let you go." She said.
Slowly, a smile came onto his face again. "Just checking." He said as he gave her hand a squeeze. She smiled a little for him too.
"Awwwww! You two look so cute! You're so meant to be together!" Slade interrupted their moment on the screen.
Raven's face became flat again. "I'm just mad that Slade apparently went through so much work to make it all happen instead of letting it come naturally." Raven finished in a flat tone as she looked up to Slade again.
"Oh I didn't really do all that much. Heck, looking back on it I probably didn't need to do anything to get you two lovebirds to move along." He said.
The two again blushed at that. "Heck, you two might be in the bedroom right now if it wasn't for me intervening!" Slade said excitedly.
"Will you please quit it dude. I don't think my face can take much more." Beast Boy gritted out. He was blushing so hard, that his green skin mixed with the rushing blood made his face look like an overripe tomato. Raven's face was blushing so badly she could have passed for a normal teenage girl now despite her pale skin, hair, eyes, and chakra.
"Besides, if you think I went through a lot of effort to get you two together, you should have seen what I had to do to get Robin and Starfire together." He said almost offhandedly again.
The two again looked surprised. "Please don't tell me?" Raven groaned.
Slade smiled widely. "You bet!" He said.
Both of them groaned. "How?!" Beast Boy comically asked.
"Oh. A lot of things. It was mainly work on Robin than on Starfire. You know, forcing him to fight her, controlling that creature on the space station to crash your ship on a distant world, convincing Killer Moth's daughter to ask Robin on a date, getting that egotistical space guy *who shall not be named for hurting Starfire* to insult Starfire around him." Slade listed off the tip of his head. "Heck. I finally chose to sacrifice one of my best associates in Japan to get him to accept his feelings for her. And it finally worked!" Slade said.
The two looked mind boggled. Which was saying something since it had already been confusing enough as it was. "What is wrong with you dude? That's messed up." Beast Boy said.
"Oh, many things. Too many to count. But I'm just so happy for you four! That means all that's left is for Cyborg and Sarah Simms to get together and I'll finally have all my Titan's West ships confirmed! Then, my Tumblr page will finally be able to take the Internet by storm!" Slade yelled in victory.
…
A grasshopper could have been heard with how silent the two became…
"Cyborg and Sarah Simms are getting together, right?" Slade asked.
"Um, about that dude..." Beast Boy started.
"Cyborg has been dating Bumblebee recently." Raven finished.
They didn't know why they said it. It had already been weird enough as it was. But the happy look on Slade's face disappeared, and his more normal cold stone exterior reformed. "Is that so." He said in a more icy version of his baritone voice. "I guess I have some business to take care of in Titan's East later. Bumblebee is supposed to be dating Aqualad, not Cyborg."
Beast Boy and Raven decided inwardly to try and roll along with it. It wasn't like things could get more confusing anyways. "Titans East ships? Who else are you shipping besides all of us?" Beast Boy asks.
"Oh, I'm shipping you two. My favorites of course." Slade said almost seeming to dote over them. "Then there's Robin and Starfire. Cyborg and Sarah. Bumblebee and Aqualad. Speedy and Cheshire-" He was listing.
"Whoa whoa whoa, Cheshire and Speedy?!" Beast Boy asked.
"Yeah. Every villain knows those two have been secretly dating since the Brotherhood of Evil incident." Slade said almost nonchalantly.
That honestly wasn't as weird as everything else. In hindsight, it actually made a lot of sense to them since they knew who Speedy was. "I guess we know who Speedy's secret girlfriend is now." Raven muttered.
(Note: Down below the parentheses is what Slade is saying on the side, not me. So not me, though I cry tears of laughter every time I read it)
"Yes yes. Now anyways, where was I... oh yeah, those two. Then there's Jinx and Kid Flash. (I'm expecting those two to have a kid who'll run a popular YouTube channel one day. He/she will run around everywhere jinxing people with bad luck when they don't give him a soda when he says the same word as them at the same time), Then Kole and Jericho. (Love my son to bits, but his girlfriend really should dye her hair something other than pink. And get someone better than a caveman as a father in law. And move away from the frozen North. I don't want to visit my grandkids up there when my arthritis gets horrible) Pantha and Red Star (Both are big, buff, and speak with foreign accents. They're also total opposites personality wise, so they're totally meant for each other). Hot Spot and Argent (A fire dude with someone who might have her powers from the Martians. Would probably end up being real chill together. Hehehe, get it?). Kyd Wycked and Angel (They were so cute together in the H.I.V.E.! I really hope they stayed together afterward they were released from Bro. Blood's mind control), Puppet Master with Menos (Cause Puppet Master needs less in his life). Mas with Cinderblock (Because Cinderblock really, really needs more in his life. I've been really hoping for those two actually. Since, you know, the time Mas helped take down Cinderblock. I just think they'd have such great chemistry living together). Wildebeast with Kitten (Hate Fang so much. He should just die. Kitten can do so much better than him. Though he did turn out to be a nice tool to keep Robin away from other women). Killowatt with Thunder and Lightning (Now that would be an electrifying love triangle in my opinion, am I right, or am I right). The Ravager with Red X (I mean, they're just totally meant for each other. And even if it turns out that the theory that Red X turns out to be my son Grant is correct, their genetics are already way messed up because of me. Seriously, what is a little incest going to do to their kids that I couldn't do?). Wondergirl and Seemore (It's obvious. They're totally meant to be together.) Billy Numerous with Billy Numerous (Eh, some people might call it masturbation. But it's really a clone with a clone. They know each other perfectly. Thus, they're perfect for each other!) Bro. Blood and Mother Mae-Eye (They're both weirdly controlling of other people. They could control how they wanted their relationship to be like really easily!). Blackfire and Trigon (Hear me out on this one Raven. One literally looks and acts like the devil around everyone, and tries to ruin everyone's lives. The other lives in Outer Perdition. In other words, they're totally meant for each other!). Mento and Madam Rouge (Sorry Beast Boy. Elastagirl was more meant for Robotman and Negative Man than that man whore wearing a helmet. Besides, the two absolutely hate each other. Thus they have just as much capacity to fall in love with each other! The Brain and Monsieur Mallah got together, so why can't they?). Oh, and I can't forget Al and Frank (still not sure on what their back story is, but I thought I heard a really plausible theory that in a certain situation from a friend's friend who heard it from a sister that was married to this guy who heard it from his nephew that heard from a brother's friend's aunt who heard from a passerby that it was implied that they might be gay for one another, so I think it's totally real and I'm shipping it!) to name a few." Slade summed up.
…
The two heroes looked like they were trying to process what they had just listened to. Beast Boy looked like his mind was melting, and words couldn't describe the look on Raven's face. She looked like she hadn't expected to hear any of that in her lifetime, or in any other lifetime for that matter. And being half demon, she was likely going to live a long time. Or die early in life because of her genetics. If she had to listen to all that again, she might start to hope for the latter instead of the former.
"I'll take by your stunned silence that all my ships are confirmed then." Slade said with a smile.
The two really looked like they were trying hard to forget some of the ships in their minds. Beast Boy still appeared to be melting though. A look of pain was on his face. "Yeah, I'l just leave it at that." Raven said quietly.
Ding!
A device dinged somewhere off Slade's screen. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He did a face palm. "Sorry about that, I was just a little caught up in the moment there." Slade said apologetically.
"If that's a little, I don't want to see the rest." Raven muttered sarcastically to herself.
Slade coughed to clear his voice. "Now since I don't have as much time Titans, I'll simplify my message." He spoke more normally. "I kidnapped your fearless leader earlier today. You have one hour to track my signal and face me, otherwise I'll punish your leader by forcing him to view fanart of him and I together." Slade said in his normal baritone.
That seemed to snap Beast Boy out of his melting stage. "Okay. Now that's just plain weird dude!" He said.
"Trust me Beast Boy. There's a lot of weirder things people come up with nowadays." Slade said flatly.
"I can only imagine." Raven said flatly. 'I can imagine all too well now.' She thought.
"Indeed. There's even fanart of us together Raven." Slade added almost as a sidenote.
"WHAT!?" Beast Boy yelled as Raven looked between a mixture of horrified and disgusted.
"Yes, oh, and before I forget, there's also fanart of us together Beast Boy. Very suggestive fanart." Slade said, wiggling his eyebrow under his helmet.
"WHAT!?" It was Raven's turn to yell, and Beast Boy's turn to look horrified, disgusted, and terrified all at once.
"Remember, you only have one hour to save Robin." He said normally, and then he brightened under his mask again. "And also, I want to see you two make out at least once while fighting me off. You know, just so I can see the ship I worship with my own one eye." He finished.
...
"We'll... see what we can do about that dude." Beast Boy said.
After everything else that had gone down in that conversation...
Slade gave a slight nod. "I'll fight you in an hour. See you then, lovebirds." He said with a wink, before the signal cut off.
…
Before the two could even speak, a map of the city appeared on the screen. A bright red dot flashed near the top of the center skyscraper on the map. Next to it, a crayon drawing of the two of them appeared. It looked like both of them together were kicking a happy Slade's butt while probably kissing (it was a crayon drawing. They couldn't tell what the stick figures were doing).
…
Confusion, surprise, flabbergasted, all of them seemed to be weak words to describe in complete detail this whole exchange. Some minds were probably blown. Some things said there probably shouldn't have been said by any human mouth, or heard by any human ear for that matter.
Beast Boy looked to Raven. "Was all of that real?" He asked
"Unfortunately. It was." Raven said dryly.
Beast Boy looked back to the screen. "Maybe after this, could you come up with something to erase our minds of that experience? Because I still can't get my mind to wrap around all that dude." He said.
"I'm already thinking over several options in my head." Raven said. "But first, we have to save our fearless leader before Slade poisons his mind with that fanart." She said.
Beast Boy gulped a little at that. "Even if it means making out at least once while fighting him? Because, I mean, I know you said you wanted to keep our relationship, like, private and all-" He was asking.
Mmph!
Raven responded by making out with him on the spot. He was caught off guard, but then he quickly melted into her embrace.
Finally, Raven broke it off. "Does that answer your question?" Raven calmly asked.
Beast Boy still looked a little dreamy eyed at the unexpected make out. "When you get rid of my memories of the last hour, I want to keep my memories of that." He said dreamily.
Raven smirked a little bit. "I could replace the whole last hour with memories of that while playing Kingdom Hearts if you wanted." She suggested.
"Dude, that would be like, the best memory ever compared to reading boring detective books while listening to Slade." He said dreamily.
Raven chuckled a little bit at that. "Come on Romeo. We have a weird fan to crush under our feet." She said.
He snapped out of it. "Yeah! Let's go kick Slade's butt! And then afterwards maybe I could finally take you to the movie theater to see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie!" He said happily as he ran for the doors.
"Don't push it. I'm still not comfortable with going to the movies just yet." Raven said flatly before she followed along behind him.
'Especially one about teenage turtles that can talk and fight.' Raven thought.
Slade took a deep breath after turning off the screen. "There. That should help push your two friends to become more comfortable with their relationship Boy Wonder." He said normally.
"Thanks Slade. That was quite the show to watch." Robin said a little smugly.
"I do hope you soaked the favor I owed Allen for all it was worth. Because I am never doing something like that again." Slade said flatly.
"I got it all on camera right here."
"If you value your life, you'll never let it see the light of day." Slade said.
"Don't worry, I won't be showing it to anyone else. This is just for me to laugh at." Robin said happily.
Slade wanted to rub his forehead in annoyance. It'd be hard to do that though when he had a mask in the way.
"I'm just hoping now that after this they won't try to hide their relationship from everyone else anymore." Robin said.
"Oh, I'll be so the happy that I'll finally be able to organize the double of dates with friend Raven in the future now!" Starfire said happily next to Robin.
"Yeah man. And I'll get to follow behind as the annoying fifth wheel until my little Bee gets here next month!" Cyborg said happily behind them.
Slade narrowed his eye at Cyborg. "Seriously Titan. If I were you, I'd go and see that civilian girl again. It's not often you'll find someone normal who wants to be around you." He said to him in a serious tone.
Cyborg looked a little caught off guard at Slade's comment. "Wait, you weren't kidding about that?" He asked.
"While a lot of it was mind games, I was being rather serious there." Slade said nonplussedly, much to the shock of the older Titan. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure my robot self is ready to fight your two friends before I disappear to plan my next major scheme against you heroes." Slade said to them before he started to walk towards the shadows. Wintergreen followed silently beside him.
"Wait. I still have one question for you Slade." Robin said.
Slade turned his head to look back. "Who do you ship yourself with?" Robin asked.
"Who do I ship myself with?" Slade asked with an upturned eyebrow.
"You mentioned a lot of heroes and villains there to Beast Boy and Raven. But I didn't hear who you shipped yourself with." Robin said in a curious tone.
Slade took a few seconds to contemplate it. "First off, I wouldn't recommend searching for fanart of us online Robin. Some of it is just plain weird." Slade said emotionlessly.
The comment seemed to confuse Robin. "Why would you mention that? That wasn't related to my question-" Robin started to say, when a look of horror came onto his face. "No, you wouldn't." He said in a horrified voice.
Slade smiled a little too evilly under his mask. "Now who said I wouldn't agree with some of the fanart, Robin?" Slade asked.
He chuckled evilly as he disappeared into the shadows.
Robin looked even more horrified. "Wa, wha..." Robin said almost in a stupor.
"Did my ears hear that correctly man?" Cyborg asked, looking similarly shocked like Robin.
"I am the confused. Who does the villain Slade ship himself with boyfriend Robin?" Starfire asked.
Robin looked a shade paler than before as the realization creeped in. "Let's just get me in my captive position before Beast Boy and Raven arrive." Robin ordered. 'So we can get this over with and delete all this film so we can pretend that all this never happened.'
I regret nothing. Except the tears of laughter I shed while writing this. What a waste of good salt and water.
Till Next Time
Allen