Chapter 1

Marinette was in that haze between awake and asleep, where the warmth of her bed had slowly tugged her conscious away. The day was over, there were no more akumas to fight, no more people to save. At least for tonight. Tap. She almost didn't hear the knock at the trapdoor to her balcony. Tap Tap.

I could ignore it, thought Marinette get some well deserved sleep for once.

Yet the hesitant knocks continued once more, gaining in resolve. As she was pulled from her sleepy state, Marinette wondered what could possibly be outside of her room this late. Her guard, which had been down, suddenly arose with some anxiety- what kind of villain did Hawk Moth create this time? She opened the door carefully with only a little fear- to see Chat Noir, hand raised as if he were about to knock again, interrupted by the opening of the door.

"Chat Noir? Wh- is there danger in Paris?" The fear Marinette held in her body melted away to see just her Kitty there. He didn't respond, instead he looked startled as if he didn't think she would answer his calling. His eyes were large, Marinette thought, almost sad. Though they held no evidence of the rushed panic they held while they were running from akumas.

"Don't you need to find ladybug?" Marinette shuffled nervously imploring his green, slightly wide eyes, what if Cat Noir knows I'm Ladybug and that's why he's here?

"No need to worry Marinette, all of Paris can sleep safe tonight," Chat sadly smiled, "I'm sorry if I woke you." He glanced down at her pajama's. Marinette let the breath she had been holding out, her identity was safe. She smiled at Noir, grateful he didn't know that she was his lady, looking less than presentable right now, she might add.

"Come in Kitty, unless you like to get soaked in the rain." A light drizzle had kissed the streets of Paris, hazing lights shining from windows of all the Parisian artists that were awake and would be far into the night. She moved back allowing him to come into her room.

"A cat that likes being in rain? My Marinette you wound me, I thought you might know my feline tendencies better" He placed a hand over his heart exasperated, looking down trodden, until he made his friend giggle.

"I thought I knew them," Chat had, after all, had saved her many times while she was Marinette, "but I didn't know cats were nocturnal." Marinette yawned, the battle they both fought earlier had taken more energy than she'd cared to admit. Between school, her parents' bakery, her fashion designs and the ever energetic Alya - Marinette's given more of her time to others than she left for herself. Chat blushed,

"I'm sorry, I should let you sleep," he jumped from the relaxed position he was laid about in, moving to leave, "I just couldn't sleep. Or rather I couldn't be alone anymore. But that's no reason for me to bother yo-" Marinette grabbed Chats tail, keeping him from moving any farther away from her.

"Don't be in such a rush to leave, you just got here." Marinette looked earnestly at her partner. He looked less than sure, doubting the kind offer, thinking her gracious invitation as a polite nicety but not a genuine one. "Please?" she sensed his hesitation, his eyes found a place to rest on everything in her room except her, "maybe you can tell my why you can't sleep."

Chat wanted nothing more than to stay, truly. Marinette was a good friend, a confidant. Chat, Adrien couldn't think of anyone else he would want to talk to about his family- or what's left of it anyway. Nino would give him sympathy- but the girl before him would give him a distraction- even a little piece of happiness for him to return home with. He slunk back into her chaise with an embarrassed smile.

"Thank you Purrincess." It might have been the affectionate nickname or the rasp of his voice as he spoke, but Marinette blushed and nodded not saying anything; partly to leave room for Chat to talk but partly because she didn't want him to see her flustered and fishing for words like she did around Adrien. Chat was silent for a minute, lost in whatever thoughts that roamed about his mind. He looked troubled, Marinette noticed. She grabbed his hand and looked into his startled eyes. He jumped a little at her touch, scardey cat, her face lit up in a bright smile.

"You can talk to me about anything." The material of his suit was so similar of her own, it was comfortable and even familiar to the touch. Marinette's hands brushed a little up Chat's arm, just to feel the material she felt so confident in. She only realized what she was doing when she heard Chats breath hitch ever so slightly, looking up to see why, Marinette saw his face burn red. She quickly pulled her hands back into her lap with a coughed up sorry. The awkward silence was ended when Marinette's chanton cleared his throat roughly.

"Today was a hard day… during the akuma attack, I especially struggled." Chat seemed more relaxed now than he had the entire time he had been in Marinette's room, like he had been tortured with his thoughts until his lady had been kind enough to let him rid of them.

Marinette thought that Hawk Moth had found a stronger victim to akumatize this time as well. Their very passionate anger led to a fight more.. dangerous than the duo usually had to face.

"Being a hero isn't always easy I'm sure, even if you and Ladybug make it seem so."

Chats lips curved up without a trace of the smile reaching his eyes, his voice nearly a whisper

"The hero-ing is actually the fun part, the only part of my day I get to live... authentically. Despite the mask, maybe even because of it- I can be who I truly am."

Marinette seemed at a loss, she agreed partly, but then,

"Why was today so difficult? You and Ladybug defeated the baddie, harder as the battle was, I agree- or assume! As you seem to think…" Marinette slipped, forgetful that she could be only so open with her partner or else she might reveal her secret. She scolded herself mentally, trailing off her sentence to do so. Chat began to speak in the absence of her voice,

"Ladybug got hurt, I let her get hurt." Chat put down his head, he couldn't tell Marinette his mistake while looking her in the eyes. He wondered what she would look at him with. Was there pity in her bluebell eyes? Anger, sadness, confusion, he wasn't sure what he was scared to see, or wanted to see. "I don't think I'm good enough to be her partner sometimes." Chat continued but bit his lip before he said anymore. His head stayed bowed until Marinette spoke softly,

"Oh kitten," A whisper so gentle Chat had to look at her to see if her lips had actually moved at all. She looked heartbroken, her eyes unbelievably open for him to read pain. "You did everything you could."

The shard of memory shoved itself into both their minds. Hawkmoths villain grabbed the outstretched arm of a ladybug poised to capture him with her yo-yo. He spun her around to the wall behind them and before either she or Chat had a chance to react, he attempted to demobilize her. The person hosting the akuma had been in the circus; a knife thrower, talented and more importantly, dangerous. Like magic a small knife was in the hand that wasn't holding Ladybug and with strength superseding her own, he plunged it through her hand into the wall to hold her captive and unable to defeat him. Even after the battle Chat could only clearly remember the shock on his lady's face, and the way her lip quivered in anguished pain as she pulled the knife out with her good hand to continue the battle.

Marinette winced remembering the pain-but she had healed when she de-transformed- Chat should know that, so why was he so torn up over it?

"My best wasn't enough though," Chat jerked his mop of blonde hair upwards, he looked at her with fierce intent, "If I can't protect her who else can?" Marinette was stunned into silence, she couldn't remember a time where she had seen her Chat so serious. He was always so happy and carefree. He still couldn't look away from Marinette, pleading to her like a guilty man begging for repentance. "To see her hurt, caused by my own carelessness, a part of me wanted to die- and the other part of me thought Ladybug would be better off if I did."

Marinette watched as tear sprung into his evergreen eyes. It hit her so perfectly on the chest, it stole her breath- Chat Noir cared about her life more than he did his own.

Marinette was overcome with emotion, she stood up weakly, unsure what she was about to do. Chat Noir blinked up at her so that a thin line of tears streamed over the black mask and down his cheeks. She ran from her desk to the chaise where he sat tensely and tried to wrap her arms around him before he could see her own welling eyes. She had been so quick to embrace Chat that he hadn't time to prepare for her body to collide with his own. He caught her up in his leather clad arms but the force with which she had run to him knocked them both back. They stayed like that, her clinging to him, Chat stiffened in surprise. He relaxed and tightly held onto the small girl laying on his chest, one of her arms pinned under his back, the other wrapped around his head and his hair lightly. Marinette's face blushed a deep red, but she moved to whisper in his ear anyways,

"You my kitty, are irreplaceable. Nothing could ever diminish your kindness and deep motivation to protect everything that is good in the world. You tear yourself apart to eradicate evil in Paris; to keep it from touching those you love." Marinette's lips brushed the tip of Noir's ear she was so close, he could feel the heat of her breath as she continued, "For that you truly are the better half of Ladybug, the one she couldn't live without."

Marinette didn't know how else to tell him without revealing who she truly was. Chat was her better half, how could he not see that?

There was apparently one more person to save before the night was over, she thought.

Marinette didn't loosen her grip on her Chat, waiting for him to move first. She had decided that just her words weren't enough, but holding him, that might communicate her gratefulness. They clung together, battling their own thunderous oceans, slightly holding tighter when a wave threatened to overpower them. The rain beat against the windows of Marinette's bedroom, ran down the glass panes trying, thought Chat, to drown him. Earlier he might have let the water steal the air from his throat and fill his lungs. But now- Marinette has given him a reason not to. His Lady. He would live for her.

"Marinette-" And this girl, Chat vowed he would protect Marinette.