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Superhero's Weekly
In this issue:
Robin's First Love—and how he lost her!
Wonder Girl's In Love!
Aqualad Walks Out!
And More!!!! Superman! Wonder Woman! Supergirl!
* * *
Robin's Tears
Robin still smiles when he thinks of her, the one who taught him the real meaning of unconditional love. Her name was Susie and she was there whenever Robin needed her. The two of them played together, traveled together, ate together and sometimes, cried together. She chased away nightmares and shared his bed for years without anyone knowing.
Susie was his first and best friend and Robin still wants to cry when he thinks of her, gone too soon in a terrible car accident five years ago.
"She was my best friend, no one will ever take her place, I'll never forget her, never!" Tears stained his cheeks as Robin made that vow while holding the body of his lost friend, sitting on the side of the road after the husky/collie mix was struck and killed on a sunny afternoon in the Wayne Botanical gardens, killed when an out of control taxi jumped the sidewalk, ending the life of Robin's first real love.
***
Wonder Girl Breaking Up the Titans!
Wonder Girl admitted to us that she cries sometimes when she thinks about how she's going to have to break the heart of one of her closest friends.
For years people have speculated which of the handsome Titan boys has won her heart. No one can deny that both Robin and Speedy have stars in their eyes when they look at her but those stars are doomed to fade as Wonder Girl has fallen in love for real—with Kevin Jonas!
The beautiful teen dynamo and the hunky heart throb met up backstage during the Jonas Brothers recent series of concerts in Madison Square Garden and sparks flew. Insiders tell us that Kevin was overheard asking Kid Flash what shape stone she might like for the ring she's having designed by Famed Tiffany's!
***
Aqualad Slams the Door to Titan Tower
"I can't stay here, not any more, not after what I've seen!"
The angry words floated in the humid air of the Titan's pool area as Aqualad dove into the water and headed back to Atlantis. Representatives for Speedy deny that he was found getting up close and too personal with Aqualad's longtime main squeeze, Aquagirl. But our sources tell us that the two were caught in a compromising situation and while neither of them want to hurt their old friend, they have to be true to themselves.
"I don't know when he's going to be back, but he has to understand that Speedy and Tula (Aquagirl's real name) are serious. They don't want him upset, but these things happen. He's going to have to decide if he can work with them now or not. He may decide to stay back in Atlantis if Tula doesn't go back to him. This could be the end of the Titans for him." The source went on to add; "But Speedy's a player. I know he likes Tula, but he's always on the lookout and she may not realize that. She's head over heels right now because he's something new but as soon as he sees the next girl he'll move on. Garth really loves her and I just hope he takes her back after this."
UPDATE! Sure enough, as soon as Tula (Aquagirl) realized that Speedy has a drug problem she dropped him like a hot potato and went swimming straight back to her true love, Garth (Aqualad) who greeted her with tears of happiness in his eyes.
***
Speedy's Demons
Speedy looked out at New York Harbor from his room in Titan's Tower and prayed for the strength to resist the poison threatening to take over his life again. "I know there are people who care about me and who would do anything to make it work, this time. I know I'm strong enough—I know it!"
But it wasn't to be.
According to a close source, Speedy was found, naked and unconscious on the floor of his private bathroom at Titan Tower. Sources told us that he was found by Robin who'd returned from a mission and decided to check on his friend, walking in on the tragic scene. An ambulance was called and the young hero's life was saved by paramedics who administered life saving drugs to combat the poison speeding through his veins.
Our source tell us: "He got the drugs from police evidence lockers—he always gets his s**t there. At first the police couldn't believe that one of the Titans would ever do anything like that so they didn't say anything but they finally had to put a stop to it. It's really sad."
Speedy was admitted to Hazelton Rehab Facility two days later. We wish him the best.
***
Jimmy Olsen Insists 'We're Just Pals!'
Jimmy Olsen took the time to talk to Superheroes Weekly to deny the rumors flying about him and the big guy—you know the one, Superman.
"Sure we're friends but the idea that there's anything more than that, c'mon! He has a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend. We hang out sometimes, we're buddies, 'watch the game, share a beer kind of stuff."
'You sure there's nothing else, Jim? We'thinks thou dost protest too much!
***
Supergirl's Secret Love
"He's the most handsome boy I've ever met!" Supergirl gushed to anyone who would listen about her first boyfriend. The beautiful heroine couldn't hide her happiness whenever she thought about her new love, a young merman from the Atlantean capitol city of Poseidonis, a young man she met on one of her many life saving missions, this one taking her to the exotic undersea nation.
His name is Jerro and he's as tail over heels as the beautiful blonde who's heart has been caught in his love net. "Supergirl is the most amazing girl I've ever met; and she's as sweet as she is smart. I'm the luckiest man under the waves!"
Should we expect an announcement soon?
***
Wonder Woman's New Gal Pal
The beautiful Amazonian princess had stars in her eyes and a smile on her lovely lips when she gazed across the small table in one of Manhattan's most romantic restaurants last object of her attention was none other than the Material Girl, herself, Madonna, who looked back with an expression that mirrored Wonder Woman's infatuations.
Other diners tried not to stare at the two woman whispering sweet nothings to one another and holding hands across the table as they fed one another from their own plates then got up to dance as the band played a seductive slow waltz.
Although representatives from both women denied that there was anything other than simple friendship between the two, pictures don't lie and we wish them every happiness.
***
Green Arrow Caught Two-Timing Black Canary
Green Arrow and his long time love are going through a rough patch lately which has driven the Emerald Archer into the arms of another—the Mistress of Magic, none other than Zantanna.
Playgoers were astonished last night as the two quietly chatted and laughed at private jokes before and after a performance of Phantom of the Opera. Seated in the third row of the orchestra section, they were the real stars of the show as they only had eyes for each other, barely noticing the performers. During the intermission they were gracious while signing autographs for several well-behaved fans, but answered no questions and disappeared into the night after the curtain came down.
Could this be the end of one of the longest enduring love affairs in herodom?
***
Is Batman Batty For Catwoman? Is Robin Jealous?
"I don't care if you love her, she's a criminal!"
With these words the Teen Wonder stormed out of the Batcave and straight to the safe haven of Titan Tower. The cause of the loud and painful argument between two of our most beloved Superheroes was the oldest in the book—Batman has fallen head over heels in love with Catwoman and Robin is beside himself with worry and hurt.
"She's a thief, she's never going to reform and he'll end up being crushed by her. I've begged him not to get involved but he won't listen to me—he won't listen to anyone. And he doesn't need me anymore. This is the end of Batman and Robin!"
Bravely fighting back tears and trying to see something positive in the situation, Robin shrugged and said, "I've been ready to fly off on my own for a while now. I guess that this might be the time to make a break and leave them with a empty room to fill with their own baby bird." He squared his young sholders and lifted his chin, detirmined to move past the hurt. "And since Wonder Girl's my baby-mama, I'll be too busy to worry about him anyway."
***
Aquaman's Secret Love Spawn?
Official spokesmen for King Orin are denying that he's the father of Flight Attendant, Sue-Ann Merriweather's three year old daughter.
"He can deny it till he's blue in the face, but he knows what we shared and that Peggy-Sue is his." When questioned she told our reporter that they met on a flight almost four years ago on which she had the pleasure of meeting the Sea King when he was a passenger in her first-class section of the 747 traveling from San Francisco to Tokyo. "We had plenty of time to get to know each other because first class only had five or six passengers and he was so nice, he wasn't all high and mighty, he was just like a regular person—really down to earth aside from drinking a lot of water."
"By the time we landed he asked me if I had any plans for the weekend and then he asked me out to dinner. He just took over and treated me like a queen! We had sushi and then we went for a swim in the hotel pool. He even asked everyone else to leave and then we got really close. We spent the entire weekend together and I think we'll always be friends. A couple of months later I learned that I was pregnant. I tried to call him but it's really hard to get good reception a mile or two underwater so I guess he never got my messages."
***
And In next week's issue!
Oracle's Satorial Tutorial!
Flash Flashes (Special high speed photos!)
Femme Crimefighters Fabulous Figure Tips!
Superman Reveals Why He'll Never Marry!
Lindsay's Superhero Dream date!
Will Wonder Girl Really Appear on True Blood Next Season? The Answer!
On Sale the 23rd—Reserve Your Copy Now!
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