Yes, I KNOW I still have... three stories and a 100 theme challenge to finish up, but I need to write while I have ideas. And here's my idea. STENNY. -twitch- WFNPF will be finished on the 26th, it's one year anniversary. CGVP will be continued when I finally get the courage to write lemon. It's shockingly embarrassing, I didn't think I'd have this much difficulty. X3 SLA will be updated gradually, I'm not doing terribly on it yet, am I? And same goes for my challenge. Yeah... so here's THIS. TWOW. Much more serious than anything else I've written. Yes, even more so than Maxie's psychotic parents! O:

If you're a Pocket virgin (meaning you've never read my stuff before) please note that I have abnormally long A/Ns because I often like to rant about my life and various other things to you guys. You do not have to read them if you don't want to, though it's possible there are important things about the actual story in there, so you're taking the risk. -nodnod-

And if you wanna suggest things, by all means, PLEASE DO. I need halp 'cause I really only know how this story's gunna end. That's it. X3 But whatever, ya know? I'll just wing it.

Oh, and one more thing, I'd like to advertise myself for a roleplay. Please. I wanna start rping South Park, I've never done it before, and it sounds EXCITING. O3O I'll do most any slash pairing.

And soooooo, here we go~

It wasn't that I liked him, it was just- yeah, okay, I liked him. He was dirty, poor, perverted, got bad grades, smoked, and drank, but damn did that boy make me blush. His smile was... breathtaking. Charming. Gorgeous. It made his beautiful baby blue eyes sparkle and dance on his face, even when shadowed by his hood. He was extremely thin, but the hard labor that served as his part time job provided him with a good layer of muscle.

I, on the other hand, was pathetically short, skinny, and had since elementary school lost my great sports ability. I was still good, but seeing as everyone else was tall and bulky in comparison... you get the picture.

I'm not gay, exactly, it was just him. Just Kenny. I'd learned to control my reflex to throw up on someone I liked, and for a few years I didn't even get nauseous. But one day, about a year ago, he hugged me from behind for a reason I forgot and I felt myself gag. I thought at first I might just actually be sick, but I wasn't and it kept happening. Around Kenny.

Kyle seemed to think this was extremely funny. He's my best friend, I tell him everything. So I thought me having potentially gay thoughts about one of our friends was something he ought to know about. I soon found that I was mistaken because he did nothing but tease me about it constantly.

He'd grown very tall and lanky, and had apparently found a permanent spot on the basketball team. His jew fro had softened up a bit and the curls now hung voluminously around his face.

Now Cartman, still fat and an asshole, had caught on to Kyle's subtle hints at school, though he didn't seem to get the point of them, and had taken it upon himself to constantly make fun of our "fag love". Kyle and I had been horrified at this development, and Kyle fought him on it, but Kenny didn't seem to mind. He even laughed at it. I couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing.

This particular day was the beginning of winter break and Kyle was leaving to spend Hanukkah with their family in Connecticut. So since my super best friend was gone, I made plans with Kenny. It made me feel a little bad when I used Kenny as Kyle's replacement, but Kenny had told him he didn't care. And usually when I made plans with Kenny, he stuck to them. We always planned around his work and he didn't seem to have anything else to do. But this time he bailed. Yep, Kenny bailed on me. That has never happened before. Ever. But if he'd given me a good reason I wouldn't really mind. Thing is, he didn't.

He bailed on me and wouldn't tell me why, even though I asked about a hundred times. But somehow, Cartman knew. Cartman. Over me. Yeah, they were "best friends" or whatever, but did they actually tell each other everything like Kyle and I did? I couldn't see Kenny trusting Cartman enough to do that, or vice versa. Either would definitely abuse the information.

I mean, if Kenny didn't feel sorry for him they wouldn't be best friends, right? And since I'd hardly ever even seen him and Kyle alone, wouldn't that make me his real best friend, even if the label wasn't there? I came to the conclusion that Cartman had figured it out on his own and was now blackmailing Kenny with it. That or he'd found something to blackmail him with and was making him do whatever had made him ditch me.

It wasn't exactly a suspicion, more of a hunch. Something serious was going on with Kenny and I needed to follow him. And while ultimately I did find out what he was doing through this process, it was definitely not one of my better ideas.

Regardless, with Kyle away, Cartman doing something stupid he refused to tell me about, and no school for two weeks, I followed Kenny. I admit it was a little... creeper-y of me. He stayed home for a little while, doing nothing in particular, ate a Pop-Tart for dinner with his family, and then he left. It was easy to follow him undetected, he didn't seem to be paying attention to anything really. I wasn't paying attention to anything but Kenny which was a really, really bad idea.

"You lookin' for a date, cutie?"

I glanced at the woman who had spoken to me and did a double take, mouth gaping in horror. She was bleach blonde, a little chubby, had the thickest makeup and biggest boobs I'd ever seen, and was wearing five inch heels, booty shorts that covered about 2 percent of her ass, and a red lace bra. The spitting image of a prostitute.

I slowly looked around me. Shit. God, what was this placed called? Colfax Point? Yeah, that was it. The red district of South Park. What the fuck was Kenny doing here? I knew he was a pervert, but he couldn't be so desperate for sex that he'd waste money on these diseased whores. There was just no way.

I was about to tell the woman that no one in their right mind would spend money on doing anything with her, but I spotted Kenny's orange hoodie disappearing behind a building corner and sprinted after him. There was just no way he could be doing this... I spun around the corner and looked around for him frantically. But... where was he?

I did a full turn, desperately searching for a flash of orange, a freckled face, messy blond hair, perfect baby blue eyes, anything. But he wasn't there. I couldn't find him. I began to panic, though I wasn't completely sure why. But then I saw him. He was coming out of a small alley, and- my stomach did a back flip. If his eyes weren't so familiar to me, I would have thought I was mistaken.

He was wearing a skin tight, bright pink tank top, cut off denim shorts that almost exposed him as much as the woman, and had ditched his shoes. His nails had been painted a bold red and I'd never noticed exactly how perfect they were. He began walking down the street and was almost immediately called out to by a man in a stopped car. He smiled flirtatiously at him and approached, leaning in the window. My stomach dropped and in one moment of horror, I realized why Kenny was here.

I quickly forced my feet to move from the spot they were planted to and rushed up the sidewalk towards him.

"Kenny!" I shouted as I neared. He looked up, alarmed, but before he saw me the man speedily drove away, attracting his attention once more.

"Wait!" he called angrily. "God damn it! Who the fuck-!"

He stopped. I was three feet away from him and glaring. The hiring prostitutes would have been one thing, I could have gotten over that. But this... this was stupid. Ridiculous. Maddening.

"Stan..." he muttered. Yeah, Stan. My lip was shaking, shocked out of speaking, and I couldn't move, couldn't get any closer. He looked terrified, like a child who had just been caught breaking the number one rule, and his eyes were watering. I stared at him. He didn't say anything else, and eventually our mutual silence got to be too much and I choked out the only thing I could manage.

"What the fuck, dude!"

And very suddenly, he looked angry. "I-It's none of your business! I told you I couldn't hang out already! And you just scared off a customer, so leave me alone!"

I blinked at him. What?! Of course it was my business! My friend was whoring himself out to horny old men who probably had outrageous amounts of communicable diseases! How the fuck was that not my business?!

"Dude, no!" I yelled as he walked away, taking another step forward. "You're gunna get AIDS or herpes or something!"

"So I'll die and come back perfectly fine!" he called back, without turning around or even slowing down.

I rushed after him, my mind racing, and grabbed his wrist. "Why would you even do this, though? It's so stupid!"

"I need the money, Stan, okay?!" he barked, turning to face me angrily, tears shining in his eyes. I blinked. I hadn't seen Kenny cry in forever. "My family's situation is getting worse and my job isn't enough. I make as much as I can from it, but this pays a hell of a lot more and I need it! So fuck off!"

He yanked his wrist out of my grip and continued walking. I stood frozen for a few moments. So that was it. Money. I hadn't even thought about it. It was so obvious now that I did. But that he thought he had to do something like this... I would have lent him money. Given it to him. So would Kyle. Our parents would have been happy to help him and his family. So why? Did Kenny think they wouldn't? Was he too embarrassed to ask? I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts, realizing Kenny was walking away from me, and I trotted after him.

"Kenny, wait a minute!" I said, catching his wrist again. He spun on me and glared. It almost frightened me. He was a lot taller and a lot stronger than me. But I knew him well enough to know he'd never physically hurt me, so I proceeded. "Even if you need money, don't do something like this! There's no reason-"

"No reason?" asked Kenny, giving me an exasperated laugh. "Dude, I'm a sex addict. I put my skill into convincing people to sleep with me, even if they don't want to really. By doing this, I'm getting sex from people who not only want me, but who are willing to pay for me! I'm getting my favorite thing and the thing I need most, all wrapped up in one neat little package. Perfect job for me. I didn't want you to know 'cause I knew you'd react like this. But you had to go snooping around. It's your own fault you found out. So seriously, Stan, fuck off."

He turned back around to leave but I tightened my grip on him and shouted, "No!" He sighed. "Dude, I'm not gunna let you sell your body! I don't care if you need money. No amount of money should be able to buy you. We'll help if you're this desperate! You're coming back with me. Now."

He turned to look at me once more and grinned. "Make me."

Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. Like, ever. Kenny equals tall and strong. Me equals small and not so strong. Kenny plus me equals me not being able to make him do anything. What theorem was that? I couldn't remember, geometry was two whole years ago. But math aside, if I was going to get him to come with me, I'd have to choose my words very carefully.

"Why does Cartman know?" I asked.

"He asked and I told him," he replied simply. I was shocked. Of all people to tell without a fight, Cartman? He wouldn't even tell me!

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

"'Cause he's my best friend, dude," he said, a pained expression on his face. Not the answer I expected. "I know he's a dick, and I choose what I tell him carefully, but really he's not going to get anything out of telling people about this. I told him because I knew he would tell me off without trying to stop me, and I knew he'd find out anyway."

I stared at him. I couldn't believe he actually thought about Cartman like that. Eric Cartman. While it was kind of sweet of him, the whole idea was just stupid. Was Kenny just stupid? No, he wasn't. He did bad in school because no one expected anything of him so he didn't care. He made choices that were bad for him because he never stayed dead so it didn't matter. But it sort of... seemed like a dumb excuse for having a fucked up life, I guess. And it made me... sad? Annoyed? Disappointed, I guess, was more the word I was looking for. I really should have kept it to myself, though.

"Kenny," I said after a long pause. "Can you please just come back with me? I can't leave knowing you're doing something like this..."

His expression softened and I knew I had him. I just had to make him feel bad. Like he was affecting someone else he cared about with what he was doing wrong. It's ridiculous how difficult it is to make him realize it. Exactly the right words... He sighed.

"Yeah, fine, whatever," he said, finally turning all the way around. "I'm not quitting, though."

And so Kenny got his stuff and we left. We went back to my house and just sort of played video games and talked all night and stuff. And during winter break we hung out more and more, and even when Kyle came back, I invited Kenny along with us. Kyle didn't mind or really pay attention to the detail at all. And somewhere during those two weeks I started liking him. And somewhere near the end I realied it. It kind of freaked me out at first, but when he smiled at me... I just didn't care any more. And you know what? I still don't.

I am in love with Kenny McCormick.

Kay, so, near the end of writing this I decide that the entire story is just Stan explaining what happened. He already knows how things end up and stuff. Yeah... Meh, I dunno. Just trying something new. Soooooo, I'm gunna spare you guys the details of my life at the moment. I'm not sure how soon you should be expecting an update, 'cause I have theatre... plus my other stories, ya know? And I still have no idea what's happening in this one.

Reviews, please~? I don't update till I get at least four. But you guys can do better than that!