So, I got the idea for this oneshot after someone commented on one of the latest chapters for The Calm Before the Storm that it would be hilarious if Alan Wood did attempt to have "the Talk" with Wills. I took it a step further and this was the result. A thoroughly enjoyable oneshot to write...
Note for first-time readers - this is based my current on-going series about the Woods. Definitely recommend reading the others to get an idea of where this is coming from. Wills first makes his appearance back in Surviving Hogwarts, though his storyline with Daisy Wood doesn't really start up until the short Where There's a Wills, There's a Way or maybe even before that... we see the potential for a relationship as far back as Playing With Fire, but it doesn't really start picking up until Where There's a Wills...
And with that... enjoy!
Wills sighed heavily as he stumbled into his flat after practice. While his coach Oliver Wood said he was trying a new training routine for the playoffs, he could have sworn Wood was intentionally trying to inflict injury as payback for Wills dating his daughter Daisy.
McIntosh did have a certain glint in his eye after he and Truffle stood talking to the coach a few moments alone and then glanced over at the chaser while he was warming up with the others.
The end result was many more bludger hits than usual for a normal practice. With Vane and Jakes not getting targeted nearly as much. Even Ashley couldn't help but offer a sympathetic smile as they all trudged to the locker rooms afterwards.
"Chin up, Wills. He'll get used to it eventually," she had said as she patted him on the shoulder.
Maybe Wills was wrong in thinking he could play quidditch forever. He was only 33, for Merlin's sake. He shouldn't be feeling this rundown after practice. If Wood kept up this routine for too long, he may have to retire much sooner than expected just to save himself.
So it was with growing pleasure that he was finally making it back home to ice his aching body, even though part of him wished to be at the Woods with Daisy. Perhaps he'd see if she wanted to come over. She was likely to have had an easier go at practice than he did. And she'd likely bring along the various potions and concoctions she made regularly for her and her brothers when they got injured.
"Took you long enough," a voice said from the sofa. Wills froze as he dropped his team bag in the kitchen and walked into the living room. While he wasn't shocked to see a Wood in his flat, he had been hoping to see Daisy. Not Alan.
"What brings you here? And how did you even get in?" Wills asked, confused. Alan chuckled as Remus came striding down the stairs.
"Mate, we snuck into just about every place we could at Hogwarts. We've got our ways," he said, grinning.
"Pix let you in, didn't she?" Wills asked, looking back and forth between the two, seriously beginning to wonder why they were there in his flat.
"Nah, she doesn't know we're here," Jamie said from where he popped up behind Wills. Wills just stared at him in shock as he walked over and sat next to Alan on the sofa.
"Please, have a seat, Wills," Remus said, motioning to the armchair, still grinning. Wills gulped slightly as he walked over and sat, looking around the brothers. Even though he was older, there was something slightly terrifying about the triplets together. They were all tall - roughly 6'4 or so. And broad, bulky. Alan and Remus more so because of their training as beaters with their bulging biceps. But Jamie definitely had some bulk to him as well. More than your average keeper.
Granted all that muscle and bulk was deceptive. They could still move lightning quick.
At only 6'1 and a bit lighter in build - something he needed as a chaser - Wills was currently thinking that if they were here to beat him up, he didn't stand a chance. But why? He had always thought the Wood brothers liked him. Did their father put them up to this?
Remus stepped closer to him, crossing his arms in front of him.
"So… to what do I owe the pleasure?" Wills asked, remaining calm. Even if he had already gone through several scenarios in his head where he did not make it out of the flat unscathed, he wasn't about to let the three Woods know.
"Well… we're here to talk about Daisy," Jamie said, looking serious. Granted he always looked more serious than the other two, so that shouldn't worry him. Wills glanced over at Alan and then Remus, noticing the smiles had vanished from their faces.
Merlin, they were here to threaten him.
"Very well… what do you want to discuss?" he asked, sitting back in his chair, further continuing the charade that he wasn't nervous.
"We like you, Wills. But that doesn't change the fact that Daisy is our little sister," Alan started.
"And as such, we want to make sure you understand that we will do anything - anything - to protect her," Remus said, stepping closer.
"Come on, this is a joke, right? You can't be serious… You all know I love her," Wills said, smiling. The triplets remained staring at him, all with mirroring stern looks on their faces.
Blimey it was like having Oliver Wood times three. Minus the yelling. But at this point, he'd take the yelling over their deadly silence.
"We're rather serious," Jamie said, frowning at him. "Pix has had a bad run of it in the relationship department and we want to make sure that you understand if you so much as step a toe out of line or do anything to make her cry, we will be there to pummel the daylights out of you."
"So much as a whisp of something in the press about you stepping out of her and it's over," Remus said, now glaring down over Wills. Alan stood and strode over, standing right in front of him.
"She's our Pix first and foremost. We're her personal bodyguards," he said.
"Always have been, always will be," Jamie said, standing and moving next to Alan. Wills' eyes widened as he shot to his feet, sputtering.
"I'd never do anything - ANYTHING - to hurt Pix, and you lot know that!" he shouted. He thought standing might make them appear less menacing, but with the extra four inches and their wide shoulders, it didn't help at all. Especially now that Remus was flexing his biceps.
"Better not. You think Dad's bad, we're worse," Remus said, glancing over at Jamie. "This one gave her first boyfriend a black eye when he lied about dating her for a few months."
"These two nearly killed a fifth year when he kissed her without permission," Alan said.
"Thought that was you?" Remus asked, temporarily distracted.
"Oh right, it was… well… all of us, actually," Alan said. He chuckled slightly. "Blighter nearly pissed himself he was so scared. He didn't so much as look at her for the following two years."
"And we'll do worse to you," Remus said, returning to scowling at Wills. Wills gulped again, looking around the three. For the first time in his life, he was actually afraid of the Wood triplets.
After a few moments, Alan's mouth twitched. Suddenly the three brothers were howling in laughter, Remus bent over and holding his sides.
"Blimey! The look on your face!" he shouted, looking over at Wills.
"Classic. You looked like you seriously thought we were about to jump you," Alan said.
"I thought you lot were a bit barmy for wanting to do this, but I'll admit, it was fun," Jamie added. Wills looked around the three before scowling.
"Wait… this was a joke?" he asked. The three nodded as they continued laughing.
"Pix gave me the idea," Alan said.
"Tell me she wasn't in on it," Wills said.
"How do you think they got in?" Daisy shouted. Wills looked up, seeing her leaning over the railing on the loft, grinning. "I mean, yea, Jamie could have just as easily got them in, but I wanted to see it for myself."
"How dare you, Pix!" Wills shouted up at her. She walked around, bounding down the stairs. She was holding up an odd contraption.
"You get it all?" Remus asked.
"Yep. Thank god you thought about that. Now we have it for posterity's sake," she said, handing the little box over to Remus.
"What's this?" Wills asked, looking at it.
"Camera phone. Got a nifty little thing that lets you record videos," Daisy said, grinning. "Borrowed it from Kelly. He uses it to keep in touch with his family and such." Wills blinked as Remus flipped it around, showing him a screen. On it was an overhead view from upstairs. Wills was seated in the chair with the three brothers around him. Daisy touched the screen and suddenly Remus' voice could be heard.
"Have a seat, Wills," he said. She touched it again, causing the scene to freeze. Wills looked at the four.
"Why would you record that?" he shouted.
"Dad's going to love it," Alan said, still chuckling.
"Reckon he'll have everyone watch it at Christmas," Jamie said. Wills face started turning red, which just made the Woods laugh even harder. It was awfully fun when he was the brunt of the joke.
"He wouldn't," Wills uttered.
"Oh, he would," Remus said. "He still likes to bring out the photos of all the times Pix jinxed us."
"I particularly like the time I snuck some of Uncle George's snackboxes into your Christmas dinner," she replied, laughing at her brothers. "Took Mum hours to reverse it and you lot were stuck blue the whole time."
"Still got that photo of you with Wanderers' hair too," Alan said. Daisy frowned slightly.
"Still not forgiving you for that one," she said.
"Come on, Pix. Of all the things we've done to you, that's the one you're going to hold a grudge against? No one even knew about it because you kept changing it to normal," Remus said.
"Just tell me that this isn't going to be a regular thing - the pranks," Wills said, glancing around them. Daisy just shrugged and smiled.
"You did fall in love with a Wood. You knew what you were getting yourself into, Wills," she said.
"And now we have a new victim," Alan said, grinning.
"All of you out!" Wills shouted, pointing towards the door. The triplets laughed as they started for it, Daisy following. "No, not you." Wills grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.
"Ah, getting a tongue-lashing, am I?" she asked, still grinning up at him.
"I'd be careful, she's much faster with hexes now that she doesn't need a wand," Remus called out.
"Not a tongue-lashing, no," Wills said, smiling slightly. Blimey, he really couldn't stay mad at her long when she smiled up at him like that.
"Don't worry. I brought some bruise paste and pain potion for you. Thought it might help take some of the sting out of the prank," she said. Wills pulled her into his arms and sighed.
"Quick! Make a run for it! They're about to start snogging!" Alan shouted.
"I'd rather not see that… or anything else," Remus replied, glancing back at them.
"Just what do you think we do alone? Sit around and snog the whole damn time!" Daisy shouted at them.
"I'd rather not think about it, Pix!" Remus shouted back.
"Get out!" Daisy yelled.
The three brothers left the apartment, their laughter following them down the hall.
"Was this really your idea?" Wills asked, glancing down at her. Daisy smiled.
"No, but I saw what they were planning in Alan's head and insisted on being a part of it," she replied, a devilish glint in her eye.
"You almost look like your dad with that glint," Wills replied, his face paling slightly.
"Don't worry. I don't intend to sic Remus and Alan, or McIntosh and Truffle, on you," she said, stepping on her toes to kiss him.
"Add Campbell and Blanks to that list, will ya?" he replied. Daisy chuckled and extracted herself from his arms, walking over to her bag that she had hidden behind the sofa.
"How bad was he today?" she asked, digging through it.
"The worst," Wills said with a sigh as he sat on the sofa. Daisy walked around and set the various jars and bottles on the coffee table. She looked back at Wills.
"Where's the worst of it?" she asked.
"My torso," he said. Daisy motioned for him to remove his shirt.
"Off with it," she said.
"If you wanted me to take my clothes off, you could ask nicely," Wills said, winking at her. Daisy rolled her eyes and grinned.
"After I fix you up," she said. Wills grinned and pulled his shirt off, grimacing slightly. Daisy knelt down, looking over a particularly nasty bruise across his left rib. "They weren't taking it easy on you." She reached over and grabbed a jar, deftly opening it and started rubbing it on. Wills hissed slightly, holding his arm up.
"He says it's a new training technique. I think he just takes a perverse joy in seeing me get hit with multiple bludgers at once," he said, glancing down as she continued applying the cream.
"Well, Mum's banned him from jinxing you, so I suppose this is about the best he can do," she said, still concentrating on the bruise.
"Worth it if I get to call you mine," Wills said, causing her to roll her eyes slightly. "You think he'll ever come around?"
"He's going to have to eventually," Daisy replied. "I mean… we're connected. The only thing to get rid of that is for one of us to die."
"I'm sure he'd gladly take that task on," Wills said, grimacing again as she hit another tender spot.
"Wills… he's not going to try and kill you," she said.
"Dunno, you haven't seen that look in his eye on the pitch," he said. Daisy stopped and looked up at him.
"He won't kill you. Because he knows I'll kill him in revenge. And he wants to stay alive long enough for me to get a World Cup and MVP," she said, smiling slightly.
"Keep it up and at least the MVP will be yours this year," Wills said. Daisy returned to mending the bruise, a shadow falling across her face.
"I wouldn't be so sure. I did have that rough patch at the beginning," she said, concentrating on the bruise. Wills looked down at her and pushed her hands away. He then tilted her chin up so she was looking at him.
"It's yours, Pix. Stop being so hard on yourself. You made a brilliant comeback and are doing better than even last year," he said softly. She sighed.
"Just… it's not set yet. We still have some time before the end of the season. Still time for me to royally screw it up," she said. Wills laughed.
"You won't. Stop doubting yourself," he said. Daisy laughed softly and stood up, kissing him.
"You always know what to say to me," she said, grinning. Wills wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down onto the sofa, causing her to squeal. "WILLS!"
"What? I can't snog my girlfriend senseless to cheer her up?" he asked. Daisy tossed her head back, laughing.
"Well then, hurry up and kiss me," she said.