Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

"Okay…why aren't we going the way we always go to Groovie Smoothie?" Freddie merely whined. It was a brisk day in Seattle, as the trio of friends walked down the street. Carly and Freddie were dressed appropriately, while Sam just...well, she didn't seem to care. He was punched in the shoulder by the blonde headed girl next to him.

"I just wanted a smoothie! One you're gonna pay for, right Freddork?" He rubbed his shoulder. It was a common thing for her to do that to him. He grumbled and walked beside his two friends.

"I just wanted to take a different route," Carly said, with just a bit of bitterness in her voice. She was still a bit upset her two friends not telling her immediately that they kissed.

"Come on, Carly! We said we were sorry! And that there would be no more secrets between us!" Freddie replied.

"Yeah, Carls! So what's with all the anger still?" Sam added. Carly still walked forward without saying much. They walked down the street, until Freddie had paused for a moment, to look at something that had caught his eye.

"Hey guys? Isn't this that building that was condemned a few years ago?" he asked, pointing to the building. Sam and Carly walked back to him.

"I think so," Carly replied. "Huh…I didn't know they brought it up to code and rented it out again. When did that happen?"

"Well…all this talk isn't getting me a smoothie any faster," Sam then said and began to walk down the street once more. Carly called out to her.

"…If you come and explore this with us, Freddie will buy you some food as well!" Freddie turned to his best friend and gave her a look. Sam quickly darted back to the two of them.

"Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as she did. "All right Carls….ya got me, then."

"Wait…I never agreed to - ouch!" Freddie began to protest, until Carly slapped him on the shoulder. It didn't really hurt; it was just more of the fact that she hit him on his already sore shoulder. Carly smiled.

"Then it's settled!" She pushed open the glass door and walked into the building, her two friends in tow. The building was tiled in a black and white checkerboard pattern with brown wood paneling. At the opposite end of the hallway was a pair of wooden double doors. To the right of those doors was a reception desk, at which behind it sat a woman that was busy filing away papers. Her short, black hair swished to and fro as she put papers away. Hearing the trio approach, she stopped and smiled at them warmly. "Uh…hi….we're-"

"Oh, no need to explain!" the woman began, cutting Carly off. "You're here for your eleven-thirty appointment!" They all exchanged confused glances at one another, while the woman merely pressed a button on an intercom. "Sir?" A moment later, an electronic response came through.

"Yes?"

"Your eleven-thirty is here."

"Ah, excellent. Please send them in, Ms. Tribal." The woman then turned to the trio.

"He'll see you now," she said sweetly.

"Um…I think you have us confused with someone else," Carly began.

"Yeah…confused with people that actually care," Sam quickly added.

"Sam!" Carly quickly replied. "You'll have to forgive her; she's really not a bad person." Freddie turned his head towards Carly.

"…You're joking, right?" he asked. Sam slugged him in the shoulder again, while the receptionist shook her head.

"No," the receptionist began. "You're Carly Shay, Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson, right?" The three of them stood there, in disbelief.

"…I don't claim to be anyone without a lawyer present," Sam replied. Carly shook her head.

"Yes…that's us…but…I don't ever really remember making an appointment for…umm…what exactly is this place?" Carly went on.

"…To be honest, I'm not at liberty to say. All I know is that my husband and I have a good life and that's all that really matters," she replied with a smile. Carly smiled as well.

"Aww! That's so romantic!" Sam just stuck out her tongue. "Sam!"

"What?" the blonde-haired girl asked innocently. Freddie just rolled his eyes, as did Carly.

"Is your husband the one that we're going to see?" Carly went on.

"Oh no, my husband doesn't work here," she replied with a chuckle. "But please go on in, he's waiting for you." And together they all walked through the large doors. The office was rather nice - on both sides of the walls were pictures and portraits - many of them were not known to the trio of friends. On the right side wall, there was another door, while the left had a medium-sized window, allowing a view out to the city streets. There was a large desk at the end of the room with a few pictures sitting on top of it; behind it, a man in a blue Armani suit sat. On a hanger behind him were two things - a long, brown trench coat and a black fedora. He was an older man, possibly as old as Carly's grandfather. His goatee was trimmed and neat and his eyes held many years of wisdom behind them, much more than a person of his age should have. He sat there, his hands folded together, as they approached. He gestured to three chairs that were presented before his desk.

"Please," he began, "sit."

"Not to be rude-" Freddie began.

"Speak for yourself, Fredwina," Sam interjected. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"As I was saying, not to be rude, but why exactly are our names in an appointment book at a place we've never been to?" The old man smiled.

"Well…I feel that after Miss Puckett's revelation to Miss Shay about the kiss you two shared, I think that a…clearing of the air is in order…" Sam stood straight up, her hands clenched tightly into fists.

"What the chizz? Even this old geezer knows we kissed? Man! You get all hopped up on loopy gas and you begin to blurt things out!" Sam protested. She grabbed a hold of Carly's shoulders and began to shake them. "How many other people did I blurt that little secret out to on the way home that day? Spencer? Gibby? Dare I say…Lewbert?"

"Miss Puckett…relax…I am not here to judge you. I merely feel that for the sake of your friendships, the clearing of the air would do all of you some good."

"And why are you calling us Miss Puckett, and Miss Shay? My name is SAM! And this is Carly! Geez…old people…you do realize that we have names that we announce all the time on iCarly?"

"I am well aware of your show, iCarly. I find it rather humorous," he replied. "Especially 'Messing with Lewbert'. That segment always has me going." Sam shrank back down into her chair.

"Oh…" she muttered. "Umm…sorry," she mumbled. The old man grinned.

"You are forgiven. Now then….you three have been through a lot. Such as when Miss Shay and Miss Puckett, the two of you fought over Mister Benson's friend." Freddie remembered that. He wasn't too thrilled that his two friends were practically drooling over another friend of his. But especially that Sam was. He almost did give to charity that day though that Sam sat in that kissing booth…

…Did I really just think that? Freddie asked himself. He shook his head quickly, dismissing such thoughts.

"Mister Benson, do you remember when you and Miss Puckett vied over a locker?"

"Yeah," he replied. Sam chuckled

"He called me Princess Puckett," she replied smugly.

"You insisted everyone call you that!" he shot back.

"Your fault," she replied to him. "If you didn't call me it in the first place, then we wouldn't be having this conversation now, would we?"

"But that makes…argh!" Freddie groaned in frustration and just sighed. The old man just watched the two of them while they bickered.

"In any event, you all have been through quite a bit in your time as friends. And I would hate to see such a tightly knit group of friends break up over something like a kiss."

"Well, Freddie I can understand not telling me," Carly began, "but Sam! We're best friends! You should have told me you and Freddie kissed!" she huffed.

"Hey, whoa here now, Shay! You told us you were cool with this! And besides, I didn't want you blowing this all out of proportion!"

"I would so not do that!"

"You are right now!"

"All right, enough!" Freddie shouted. "…Yes, we should have told you Carly, and we've already apologized to you for that! You need to calm down! It's not like it was a big deal!" At least not to Sam, he thought to himself.

"This is a VERY big deal! And don't tell me to calm down! Spencer tried that and he found out why it's a very bad idea for a guy to tell a girl to calm down!" Carly huffed. She began to breathe more rapidly, almost as if she was going to hyperventilate.

"Miss Shay! Calm yourself and take slower breaths." Carly began to do as she was instructed and her breathing returned to normal. "…Good. Why don't I start with you? Oh, and before I forget, these will be individual conversations," he added. "Miss Puckett, you can wait out in the main hall with Ms. Tribal. Mister Benson, you will go with my assistant." The side door opened, and a shorter man in a tee shirt and a pair of jeans came out. "Mister Underhill, take Mister Benson here to the break room." He then turned to the three friends and added, "Where are my manners? Would any of you care for something to drink?"

"Could I just have a water please?" Carly asked.

"Nothing for me right now," Freddie replied.

"…Have any ham?" Sam asked.

"…How does a donut sound, Miss Puckett?" Sam just nodded.

"Yeah, that'll work," she replied. His assistant brought the items requested by the iCarly cast and then gave them a moment before they were needed to leave. "…Hey Carls?" Sam began, biting the donut. "I was wondering…" Pieces of donut went spraying as she spoke.

"Okay…Sam? First off, can you please not talk with your mouth full? We've already had this discussion before. And second, what is it?" Sam swallowed the bite of the donut before she continued.

"Can we really be sure this guy isn't some sort of maniac? I mean yeah, he seems harmless…in an old person sort of way…but how do we know this won't turn out like it does in those horror movies? 'Cause let's face it, if this is going to turn into a horror movie, the girly girl dies, the cute one survives because she's cute and the tough one winds up beating the crap out of the creature."

"Don't worry, Sam. I'll protect you," Freddie said with a smirk. Sam rolled her eyes.

"What makes you think you're the tough one, nub? You're the girly girl." …Although, she began to herself, it was sweet of him to say that…whoa, back that train up! Get those thoughts OUT of your head, Puckett!

"Guys, relax! We'll be fine!" Carly said, reassuring her two friends…and in an effort to keep Sam from killing Freddie. Sam went outside into the main hallway, while Freddie followed the assistant through the side door. Carly walked back over to the chair she was sitting in and sat down. She took in a deep breath and then looked up at the old man. "Okay," she began, "let's start."