Disclaimer: Not mine. Not at all.
A.N: First story after the final book. Hopefully not the last. :)
The dialogues were directly taken from DH.
MUTUAL MADNESS
A huge thanks goes to my amazing beta, Gingerale, who came to the rescue at the right moment.
"I get it, you chose him."
The words hit me like a slap across the face and the next minute he was gone.
I was shocked, extremely taken aback with his outburst and the abruptness of his departure. He had left without giving me the opportunity to make it up, and express my genuine sentiments.
I remember that hollow night so vividly. The weather was dreadful. It was raining heavily, as if the sky wished to drown out the noise we were making inside the tent. Everything had started all of a sudden. Harry and I were just enjoying the piece of useful information about Horcruxes when out of the blue, Ron blurted out the silliest thing ever.
"You two carry on. Don't let me spoil your fun."
I was stunned. Harry and I immediately exchanged a clueless glance. He looked as surprised as I was and tried to ask me wordlessly if I knew what Ron was talking about. I shook my head in disagreement.
With an oblivious blink, Harry turned to Ron. "What's the problem?"
"Problem? There's no problem," answered Ron, avoiding our eyes stubbornly staring at the underside of the upper bunk instead.
"Well you've obviously got a problem," continued Harry. "Spit it out, will you?"
With a sudden movement, Ron swung his legs off the bed and sat up. He looked unnaturally cold and brutal, unlike himself. I held my breath in wonder.
"All right I'll spit out," he started. I stared at his face curiously, wondering what he would have to say.
"Just add it to the list of stuff you don't know." Ron blurted out with an icy expression. Oh no, don't start this, I sighed to myself with apprehension. No, no, no.
I don't know?" repeated Harry, looking suddenly furious. "I don't know?"
I knew the argument was going to be complicated. Plunk plunk plunk. The rain poured hard and heavy on the canvas. Panic rising in me, I insistently looked into Ron's eyes, trying to make him notice me. But he didn't. I prayed mentally he would just drop off. But Ron continued making me stressed and sick worried.
"It's not like I'm having the time of my life here," Ron bit out.
Recovering from the initial shock, I found my voice and called out his name softly. But he looked so mad that he didn't seem to hear me. I tried to make him stop talking, sensing from the tone of his voice that a terrible row was soon to come. He proved me right.
"I thought you knew what you'd signed up for," remarked Harry indignantly.
"Yeah, I thought I did too," Ron snapped back just as stubbornly.
"We thought you had a real plan." No, he didn't mean that. Stop it, Ron. Stop it, I thought.
But it was the truth and as it goes, the truth hurts. "Ron," I said between my gritted teeth, seeing that he was getting serious. However, he completely ignored me.
"Well, sorry to let you down," Harry said coldly.
Ron then continued to mock Harry for his inability to round up all of Voldemort's Horcruxes, not realising how much he was upsetting Harry and I.
"Take off the locket Ron," I interjected, pleading as they carried on their argument. It was the locket, which was causing the argument; I knew it. But neither of them seemed to hear me.
"You wouldn't be talking like this if you hadn't been wearing it all day," I pointed out.
"Yeah he would," Harry opposed right away. I shot him a pleading look, which he didn't seem to notice at all. He obviously thought I was making up excuses for Ron.
Harry continued, anger bristling in his tone. "Do you think I haven't noticed the two of you whispering behind my back?"
I was shocked at his outburst. "Harry we weren't-" I started; but Ron cut me off.
"Don't lie," he hurled at me. "You said it too," Ron was now shouting at me.
"I didn't say it like that," I cried, finding myself in the middle of their stupid argument. It was true; I had complained too, but what I had told Ron was totally innocent. We had discussed the circumstances, and our disappointment.
But to use those conversations against me--. I started crying in despair.
A few moments of silence prevailed, leading me to think that they were going to drop off the argument. The thought was just wishful thinking.
"So why are you still here?" Harry asked Ron. Oh, no.
"Search me," retorted Ron.
"Go home then," Harry challenged.
"Yeah maybe I will," he shouted, taking several steps towards Harry, making me jerk in terror.
"Ron," I said, impulsively trying to force myself between two. I tried to explain the situation; it was only the locket that made Ron so sensitive. After all, we would find out if something horrible had happened to his family. But Ron continued shouting at Harry, claiming that he was comfortable since his parents were safe, whereas his family was in danger. This was more than Harry could take, and he too lost control.
"Then go," he roared. Ron made a sudden movement. Harry clenched his fists. My heart leapt with fear in my chest.
Then to my utter disbelief, they pulled out their wands, both looking furious and ready to hex each other. All I could do was stand there and stare at the two of them, speechless. And then recovering my senses, I cast a protection charm between them.
I thought the charm would give them time to calm down and realize that their argument was ridiculous but Harry didn't let the issue drop. "Leave the horcrux," he demanded with a glare, as if he would never want to see his best friend again, as if he was talking to a stranger. Ron left the chain into a nearby chair without delay. No, he's not going anywhere, he was bluffing.
Ron glanced at me. "What are you doing?"
I swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"
"Are you staying, or what?"
I was caught off guard by his question. I stood dumbstruck on the spot, my mouth agape.
"I..." I trailed off, utterly terrified. "Yes-" I admitted. "Yes, I'm staying Ron," I said, my voice cracking. "We said we'd go with Harry," I reminded him, hoping that our earlier promise would change his mind.
However, he only gave me a cold glare. "I get it you choose him," he exclaimed.
I stood frozen, trying to take in what he had just said. It was pure madness. How could he have expected me to make a choice? I was being logical. He was being sensitive.
That was the last thing he told me before he grabbed his rucksack and sprinted out the tent. No, no, no.
"Ron, no- please- come back!"
Instinctively, I ran after him but I got blocked with my own charm. When I finally removed it with my shaking hands, he had already stormed off. I dashed out of the tent and ran after him, shouting his name and begging him to come back. I ran amongst the trees under the heavy rain. But he had disappeared.
Realisation hit me hard at that moment. He wasn't going to come back.
With him gone, I felt split in half.
He left me. He left me just when I thought he loved me. But it was just unacceptable. There were no excuses for him.
Damn the locket, damn him.
---
That night, I didn't sleep a wink and hoped he would come back. But knowing him, knowing his temper, I knew it wasn't going to happen.
And there was Harry. Expressionless. Moody. Hurt but still hanging on to his pride. He couldn't accept the accusations Ron made. I couldn't accept his breakaway. We didn't speak about Ron and acted as if he was never with us in the first place.
It pained me to look at Harry. He reminded me of Ron's departure. The Horcrux hunt felt meaningless without him. It was totally unbearable.
Ron. He was a complete prat.
I understood that he was terribly worried about his family, especially about Ginny, who he recently learned had been sent to the Forbidden Forest as punishment. He had shared his concerns with me. I always consoled him; we comforted each other. But apparently my attempts at comfort didn't work. He finally brought up all the anxiety.
At nights he would lay close to me, always by my side. It had become a habit of mine to check if he was sleeping beside me. When he'd left however, all I would see was his vacant bed. I didn't have a peaceful night's sleep for a quite a long time after his departure. Nightmares of Ron leaving me would plague my mind whenever I slept.
But after a while, I lost all strength, and tears, to cry for him.
But millions of thoughts crossed my mind. How was he? Did he think of me? No, no, no. He left me.
Many nights I planned to leave the tent and find him. But where was he? At Burrow without a doubt, safe with his family. But then I would decide that to look for him would be madness.
I desperately waited for him to come back. There was this little hope I carried inside me. I stared at the door, hoping to see him, helplessly wishing him to return to me.
Harry noticed my misery but I didn't mind. He didn't need an explanation. I was suffering and I couldn't hide it. He already knew how I felt, as a matter of fact.
Merlin knows I had had enough with this vagabond life. But Harry needed me.
I needed Ron.
Weeks and weeks passed without him. I spent the Christmas without him. Our second Christmas, cross with each other.
But then one night, after weeks and weeks, I got interrupted from my sleep that I had hardly fallen into. I opened my eyes. It was Harry. I quickly streighten in my bed, slightly panicked. Strangely, he was wet but looking excited.
"What's wrong? Harry?" I looked up at him with concern. "Are you all right?"
"It's ok, everything is fine," he said. But he had the strangest expression. "I'm great. And there's someone else here."
"Who?"
I turned my head and stared. It was Ron. He stared back. The warmest feeling filled my heart. I felt like the world made sense again. A whole minute passed, bemused, lovelorn.
I slid out of my bed towards him, hypnotised. I debated with myself: should I go and kiss him, or go and slap him? Two emotions were battling in my heart. But then I remembered. He had left me.
I kept staring at him. There was a sheepish look on his facethat I knew very well. Arms half-raised, he flashed me a hopeful grin. Did he expect me to run to him and give him a hug? If so, he was mad.
I dashed to him and instead punched every bit of him that I could reach. I punched him for all the pain he caused me. He needed to suffer. After weeks and weeks, I was finally letting go of a nervous breakdown.
"Oww. Ouch. What the-"
"You – complete- arse –Ronald- Weasley." I bellowed and I meant it. I felt completely mad at that moment; I punctuated every word with a blow. He backed away, shielding his head.
"You crawl back here after weeks and weeks, where's my wand?" I shouted, suddenly struck by a genius idea.
"Protego!" I heard Harry mutter. An invisible shield erupted between us, much to my dismay.
"Hermione- calm-"-
"I'll not calm down!" I shrieked, even before Harry could complete his sentence. I felt the blood rush into my head. How dare he ask me to calm down?
"Give me my wand," I demanded Harry, "give it back to me."
"Hermione, will you please –"
"Don't tell me what to do, Harry Potter," I said and turned towards Ron who had the purest scared expression on his face.
"I begged you to come back." I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"I know," he answered simply. "I'm sorry." Was that all he would have to say?
His defeated attitude was making me more and more furious. "Oh, you're sorry!" I gave a nervous laugh, feeling totally out of control.
"You come back after weeks – weeks–" Yes, I had been counting the days. Pathetic. "And you think it's all going to be all right if you just say sorry?"
"Well, what else can I say?" he shouted at me. He was fighting back. Oh, damn the shield between us.
"Oh, I don't know!" I yelled mockingly. "Rack your brains, Ron, that should only take a couple of seconds –"
"Hermione," interjected Harry, who looked uncomfortable with my outburst. I knew it would hurt him but I didn't care in the slightest. "He just saved my –"I didn't want to hear what valiant thing he had done. He had left me.
All I needed was my wand. Where was my wand when I needed it? He deservedly needed to be hexed. Oppugno? Stupefy? Even Crucio?
But Harry Saint Potter was visibly protecting Ron.
"I don't care!" I shouted with never decreasing wrath. "I don't care what he's done! Weeks and weeks, we could have been dead for all he knew – "
"I knew you weren't dead!" bellowed Ron, drowning my voice for the first time, and approaching as close as he could with the Shield Charm between us. "Harry's all over the Prophet, all over the radio, they're looking for you everywhere, all these rumors and mental stories, I knew I'd hear straight off if you were dead, you don't know what it's been like –"
"What it's been like to you?" I asked pointedly, not helping the little growing hope in my heart. I needed him to tell that he suffered like the way I did. Mutely, I waited for him to continue.
"I wanted to come back the minute I'd Disapparated, but I walked straight into a gang of Snatchers, Hermione and I couldn't go anywhere!" He began telling his story, making amends. Were we even? Not likely. He had no clue about the damage he caused in me. What excuse would save him from my hands?
The tension was just too much. I collapsed onto the nearest chair. He looked cautious. It served him right. "I wanted to come back," his words constantly kept playing in my head. He was trying to tell me something.
"I was listening to the radio really early on Christmas morning and I heard…I heard you."
"You heard me on the radio?" I asked incredulously, this information catching my attention.
"No I heard you coming out of my pocket. Your voice," he held up the Deluminator, "came out of this."
"
And what exactly did I say?" I asked, not helping the skeptic tone in my voice.
"My name. 'Ron.' And you said…something about a wand…" I felt turned a fiery shade of scarlet. "Oh," I sighed. I had always avoided saying his name.
The silence stretched out as he checked my reaction. Prat.
He wanted to come back. He was regretful.
He was back.
Finally my temper worn out, gradually replacing with happiness. Merlin, I had missed him. The warmest feeling turned back to me. But he didn't need to know it. Grudgingly I returned to my bed. However, I could hear them talking in whisper tone. I caught the word "canaries."
I couldn't help but smile at the memory, feeling totally tranquil.
"I haven't ruled it out yet," I retorted, a small smile curving on my lips. I knew he too was grinning sheepishly behind my back.
But indeed, I hadn't ruled out yet.
I long reviews.