Every day's the same. I wake up, go to school and see the same people. Sometimes some of those faces are missing, but I know I'll see them again eventually. Everything's the same. Every night, I either go home or to work, eat and sleep. And I dream. I dream of places I'd like to go, of people I'd like to see. I think of leaving everyday. I wish I could. I keep myself busy so I don't have to think about things like that, but it doesn't help.
Eventually, I will leave. But I want to go now. Somewhere that's different, where everyday changes. Where I see new faces and make new friends, but also keep the old. And I hope one of those friends is someone I can talk about this to, instead of keeping it to myself. I'm not one of those people who dreams of finding their one true love. I dream of leaving. Though, I wouldn't mind finding someone to take along, but it's not a necessity. I'd like to find someone that thinks the same way, too. Something's telling me I will, and I hope it's soon.
I think about if I wasn't here anymore, it wouldn't affect people on the other side of the world. So, if I wasn't here to begin with, would my friends still be the same? Would my family? Or if I was a completely different person, would everything stll be like it is now?
I want something new. I suppose I'm being selfish though. People are probably suffering somewhere and here I am complaining about a life they would dream of having. Why am I here? Just to dream? To want? There has to be something more to life. I know there is.
I don't know when I started dreaming about this sort of stuff. It's just always been there. Masybe it will always be there. Like a tattoo of wanted branded on my skin from birth. But I just don't have the courage to leave everything behind. What if, where I go, isn't that great? And I can't come back? I guess life is made of "what if's". Maybe courage is considering the "what if's". And if I never find the courage, what will I do then? Just stay here wanting? It's like a disease wasting away my very exsistance. I've decided. I have to leave. I'm going to leave. But, I don't want to go alone. But I will if I have to. I won't let this wanting take over my life.