Disclaimer: Inuyasha is, very obviously, not mine.
A/N: This is my first posted fanfiction. I've enjoyed working on it so much that I actually came to the realization that I might get around to finishing it… which, let me tell you, is a wonder in itself. Anyways, please enjoy the story!
……
Chapter 1: Into the Depths
……
Mournful eyes rested on the dirt covered stones as she waited in the darkness. Pain coursed through her body, her mind and her heart and she felt herself breaking under the weight of it. So full of hurt, she didn't even look up when the doors beyond her cell moaned as a guard pushed them open and white light flooded her cell.
"Stand," a voice commanded from the light and she obeyed.
A rusty key jammed into the lock and the cell door sprung open.
"Follow me."
She stumbled after the voice, away from the darkness of the cell but still delving in the shadows of her own heart. Her bare feet dragged across the icy floor but she did not notice the cold. Nothing seemed to break her expression, her stature, for she was already broken. At least, so she thought. The real pain, pain that reached heights that she could not possible imagine, had yet to come.
…
"Let her in," said a cold voice, tinged with amusement. "And bring her to me."
Nodding, a guard turned away and pulled on the shoji's thin wooden frame to slide it open before returning to his original post.
A second guard stepped into the room, pulling his prisoner by her shackles. He brought her forward to the figure standing at the center of the room before stepping away.
The figure standing before the prisoner frowned.
"Miko, it would do you well to bow before your superiors."
The light was gone from her eyes but she could not resist a small smile. "I'll do it when I see them."
Feeling an uncharacteristic bout of irritation, the figure sprang forward lazily and swung his arm against the miko's face, watching as she crumpled to the ground. Her smile disappeared but her face did not change. Hopeless and empty, she did not even feel fear. Naraku smiled despite himself. No anger, no sign of hope within her… she hadn't even tried to defend herself. He had truly broken her will to live. Now if only he could break one last thing, her shattered soul would literally be in his hands.
Taking a step back, he continued speaking, goading the miko. "To think it is upon your power that my chance of success rely upon… who would have thought that I would end up depending on such a frail human. To think that such power was bestowed upon you. Such a waste. Still, I can nearly guarantee victory through your power… I shall be able to rid myself of my boldest enemy using the very woman he has sworn to protect. Ironic, don't you think?"
The miko did not move. Only her face changed as she registered Naraku's words. Everything seemed to slow–the beat of her heart, the flow of her blood… so this was why Naraku had taken her and left the others. After the moment of shock passed she felt nauseous, disgusted by both Naraku and herself. She had allowed this to happen… she'd been trapped in a moment of weakness, had brought this upon herself, lost to Naraku, and with her own defeat she had guaranteed Inuyasha's downfall.
Naraku could not help but smirk at the miko's expression. She would feel anger soon, he knew. It couldn't be helped. It would be against the miko's nature not to fight against the fate he had so delicately planned for her. He would simply have to crush that anger from her, break her soul until she was no more than a tool for him to use.
Waving his hand carelessly, he called the guards forward.
"Take her back to her cell," he ordered them.
Looking back to the miko, he could not help feeling amusement at her expression. She deserved that pain, that wretch. After all, was she not the reflection of the very woman that had caused his human heart so much pain? Twisting his face in hate, he scowled at the memory.
And then, just to twist the knife a little deeper, he called out, "Goodbye, Kagome. I'll let you ponder what Inuyasha's face will look like when you drive one of your arrows through him, just like Kikyo did so long ago."
…
She was tired of it. The endless cycle that tortured her. Fate twisted and turned, moved back in time and spread a path upon the old, putting its puppets into scenes they'd already acted. Wasn't once enough? Hurt wracked her small frame and she couldn't help but bitterly think that humanity was destined to repeat the same endless circle of events. Nobody would get anywhere, she told herself, and nothing would ever change. They were all doomed to wander in this endless hell called life forever. After all, even the almighty Kikyo hadn't escaped it.
Inuyasha, Kagome knew, had probably believed to have escaped his dark fate. After all, had he not believed to have been given two paths out of the darkness? One with Kikyo, into the depths of hell where he could forevermore let go of the struggle called life and simply slide into a weary sleep. The other, at least Kagome had hoped, had been with herself. Together they would have been strengthened, inseparable and more than capable enough to handle the hardships life threw at them. Of course, having been in such confusion as to which path to choose, Inuyasha had, in most likelihood, let both opportunities slip through his fingers. There would be nowhere for him to go now. He would be all alone, Kagome knew, just as he had feared from the beginning.
Miroku had been one to flaunt his pettiness in order to escape the larger truth. He too was trapped in the cycle of darkness, his family line infected by the foulest of creatures, Naraku himself. As his fathers before him, Miroku was fated to a short life and a demise that would bring him no rest. However, Kagome had taken note that Miroku still clung to hope–the hope that the curse could somehow, someday, be removed. There was also, somewhere in the shine he got in his eyes whenever Sango appeared, the hope that he could, someday, live the life of family.
Sango had never been one to deny her own sadness but Kagome knew that the tajiya had been hiding the fact she was somewhat resigned to her fate. Of course, some form of hope had presented itself to her when she joined Kagome, Inuyasha and Miroku but her fears were so overwhelming that it would take years for them to be quelled and years was something she simply didn't have. Naraku would not wait for the tajiya to gather her resolution. To take the time to do such a thing would be literally placing her life into Naraku's hands.
Shippou, though still a child that retained some of his innocence, had seen too much to not be overcome by the dark truths of his own past. He, of all of them, perhaps believed in most strongly that Naraku could be defeated but Kagome feared that was simply because he saw his comrades (or, rather, protectors) as stronger than they were in reality. He did not realize, though he himself was a master of illusion, that he was trapped in a delusion and still viewed the world through the eyes of a child. Soon enough, Kagome knew, he would grow out of his illusion and be forced to face the world as it was in reality–a reality in which Inuyasha and the others could not always protect him.
Hidden in the depths of Naraku's darkness, Kagome dwelt upon her own misery and let the shadows devour her.
…
Kikyo watched as the Shinidamatsu disintegrated around her. The souls of the dead flew free and she felt her own grip on the world begin to fade. No, she thought to herself, I am not yet finished here. I must still… Inuyasha…
But none heard her frantic thoughts as the binds that held her in the Sengoku Jidaii broke. She had stayed too long in the living world, she knew, but she could not help but curse the heavens for making her departure so abrupt. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she fought the pull to the otherworld and for once her eyes were bright with emotion. Her body of clay began to fall apart and she watched as the missing piece of Kagome's soul–Kagome's soul now, not hers–burned its way out of her. Kikyo could not help a bitter smile. At least, if the others forgot, Kagome would know.
And with that final thought, Kikyo was no more in the living world.
…
Kagome snapped out of her daze. Something was different. That extra sense that she could never really identify but always helped so much when looking for Shikon shards was telling her that something had changed. But what was it?
Concentrating on the feeling, Kagome closed her eyes and tried to meditate as Kaede and Miroku had so often taught her to. They had said it would help focus her power.
Eyes flying open in shock, Kagome felt the blood drain from her face. The feeling of completeness where there had once been emptiness… Kikyo's part of their soul? Had Kikyo died? It was impossible for her to exist without at least a portion of her soul… had the Shinidamatsu failed in their tasks? Or had Kikyo been killed? But who could do such a thing? Naraku had tried and failed… Was there someone else?
Or, a part of Kagome reasoned, perhaps Kikyo had had enough of the living world, with all its torments. Perhaps she'd finally let go of her share of their soul, willingly, and returned it to Kagome. Of course, that was it. Wasn't Kikyo supposed to be the clever one?
…
The others watched warily as Inuyasha returned to them, fatigued, wounded and with a dullness in his eyes they had never seen before.
"Where's Kagome?" Shippou asked hesitantly, his small voice trembling. "Where is she? You were supposed to bring her back."
Inuyasha did not answer and did not dare face the kit.
"Where is she!" Shippou yelled. "Your job is to protect her! Can't you even do that, you worthless hanyou!"
Inuyasha visibly drooped lower.
"Shippou!" Sango reprimanded the kitsune. "Inuyasha tried his best… he doesn't need you berating him," she said, trying to hide behind the façade of a responsible adult.
Shippou simply glared at Inuyasha and let tears role down his cheeks.
"I hate you," he whispered.
Miroku looked down silently at the crying kit, then to tajiya, trying to hide her pain behind the mask of a warrior, and finally to Inuyasha, who hid his face in shame from the others, knowing that they knew of his pain but not wanting to reveal it. The monk sighed. Without Kagome they really were a mess.
Deciding it was time for him to do something about the state of his comrades and, perhaps, serving as a distraction from his own pain, Miroku stepped closer to the others.
"We should rest for the night," he said, "for we are all weary beyond words and to fight in such a state would do Kagome no good. We must rest and regain our former confidence. Kagome needs us and we can't help her by letting our emotions get the best of us. Shippou, gather some firewood. Sango, tend to Inuyasha's wounds. I'll get us something to eat and then we all take a full night's rest."
Inuyasha looked up in disbelief. "A full night's rest? Are you insane, you idiot? We don't have that much time to spare, we can't-"
"We can and we will," Miroku responded evenly. "Especially you, Inuyasha. You are the strongest among us and have the best chances of freeing Kagome from Naraku's hold but you will be absolutely useless to us if you have not even the strength to find Naraku, let alone fight him."
Inuyasha glared up at the monk angrily but said nothing more. Miroku sighed in relief and got working on preparing something to eat. Inuyasha's anger vanished and faded into cruel hurt as the monk pulled out cartons of ramen Kagome had brought them. Sango hid behind her stony face and the kitsune came back with a pile of firewood and a frightful glare of hate and grief that had no place on a child's face.
As the moon rose in the night sky, they each fell asleep, one by one, even Inuyasha. That night he dreamed of a world without darkness and a young miko who held his tired body lovingly. But the dream twisted into something else and he was left to watch as the miko vanished from before him and left him in the shadows of what could have been.
…
Kagome awoke to find warm tears on her cheeks. Had I cried in my sleep then? she thought to herself. Perhaps, in a way, I was mourning for Kikyo's death. Or maybe her life.
If only… if only Kikyo had never known the pain of betrayal, the sorrow of her fate and the torture she had lived through both in life and death. Perhaps then she might not have been so bitter. So angry. So sad.
Shaking her head, Kagome trembled as she wiped away her tears. Why should she pity Kikyo now? a voice whispered inside her head. Kikyo was dead; she had escaped into the otherworld. She had broken free from this hurt stricken world, into a better place while Kagome was left here to slowly fade into the darkness. Kagome closed her eyes and clenched her fist. Yes, she thought bitterly, after all, I got my secret wish, didn't I? That Kikyo should die and leave this world forevermore. Only I didn't get what I wanted.
…
Inuyasha looked at the sleeping faces that surrounded him and knew he should wait but knew he would not, could not. He would be betraying them by leaving without waiting but he would be betraying Kagome by wasting time and prolonging her captivity. And though the others were his comrades and his friends, Kagome was so much more and, what's more, she was responsible for their very existence, their lives. She had saved every one of them but it was Inuyasha whom she had saved first and foremost and that was a debt he could never repay. It had been his responsibility to protect her and, in failing to do so, he had betrayed her on a level even Kikyo hadn't reached. For that he would lay his life down for her and hope it would be enough.
…
Kagome thought nothing of it when the wooden door of the prison room swung open and several figures stepped forward. Perhaps Naraku had summoned her again and wanted to gloat some more.
Still, she felt nothing, not even the tiniest shred of fear, as her cell was opened and three men entered her cell. Perhaps they will hit me, she thought. Beat me until I can move no more and then Naraku will come down and offer to save my life in exchange for my servitude. Well it isn't going to work. I would welcome such a death. I can't believe that idiot would be so naïve.
It was only until one of the men began undressing that she understood her own naivety and felt the first pangs of raw, uncontrolled fear. She began inching away but the man caught her, grinning, and threw her against the wall, holding her fast against the cold stone. With his free hand he ripped off her clothing as she struggled. Tears began to course down her cheeks as she tried to fight her way free. Panic coursed through her body and pain, horrifying pain, filled her mind with terror. This isn't happening. This can't be happening.
…
Eventually, the men had had enough and left her pressed against a corner, hiding in the shadows. Dirty, she heard the small voice inside her head say. You're filthy now, look at you. Disgusting. How must you hate yourself. How you must hate your friends, for abandoning you to this fate. They let this happen, you know. The second they let you be taken they condemned you to this. Especially, Inuyasha. He was supposed to protect you, wasn't he? And look what has happened. It's his fault. How your hate for him must rage.
…
Naraku smiled as he cast his web of lies over Kagome's mind and let the darkness in her heart grow. It was a simple thing really. A small string of events here and a few persuasive words there could have the most drastic affects. After all, there was a shadow in the heart of every human being, even pure, sweet Kagome. Well, she wasn't so pure anymore. Naraku smiled cruelly, satisfied that his patience had worn off. Soon enough Kagome's will would no longer be her own and it was only a matter of time until the others followed her into that great abyss of hate.
…
Kagome let her hatred consume her for she had nothing left to fill her. She tried to remember the love she once had, for her friends, her family, Inuyasha, but the voice told her to forget that love. Look where it had gotten her, after all. Obviously those feelings of love had been false, trapping her in the dark. And now there was nowhere else for her to hide but in the shadows that had been cast over her.
When Naraku had first summoned her, she had a faint moment of recognition. This is a bad man, she thought. No, the voice exclaimed. There is no bad. There is no good. There is only power. And this man is simply powerful.
And I am not, Kagome thought to herself.
"Miko," Naraku started. "It is time for you to use that hidden power of yours and release your hatred upon the world, the world that has obviously wronged you in so many ways. People have hurt you, violated you. And others stood by and let it happen. It is time for you to reap vengeance on those who would take advantage of your weakness and show them that you are no longer weak."
He gestured to his guards and the shoji screen was slide open. Three men, bound and gagged, were lead and pushed to Kagome feet. Her hatred flared at the sight of them.
"These," Naraku continued, "are the men that so deeply hurt you. They took advantage of your weakness but now you will have vengeance and take advantage of their own powerlessness."
Naraku handed her a dagger, hilt-first, unsheathed and glinting in the light. Kagome took it in her hand and stepped towards the first man. She stopped before him and raised the blade to his neck. She froze, unable to move any farther.
Remember, the voice said. This man hurt you, entered your body and ripped it apart just demonstrate his power. Kagome's face twisted in hatred and she jerked the dagger across the man's throat. He let out what might have been a scream and felt to the floor. Kagome moved on to the next man, even as he begged her not to hurt him. He cried out words of apology but those words only made her hatred grow. How dare you, she thought. How dare you.
Two more bodies hit the floor and Kagome looked down to see her hand covered in blood. Human blood. Naraku could not help but smile. He had created Inuyasha's ultimate adversity.
…
Naraku spent the next few months training the girl in the ways of death. He had instructed her in the matters of pain and the difference between those with power and those without it. Now he merely needed to teach her in the ways of extracting her retribution.
She was good with a bow, he had to admit. She merely needed to be taught the use of a sword, to fight at close range and show her victims the face of their killer before they died. Night and day, her hatred pushed her harder, demanding that she sharpen her skill with the blade. She was already strong but she needed to be stronger, quicker. Without strength, how could she wreak vengeance on the world?
Naraku himself did not teach her but let others do so. However, he never left her with the same instructor for more than a few weeks. It would be dangerous, he reasoned, to let her become familiar with anyone.
He sent out distractions to those that would wish to take her back, namely Inuyasha, the tajiya, the cursed monk and the wolf prince. Every now and then he would release a small piece of false information into the outside world, making sure that it would somehow get to his enemies. And off they would go, in search of what was not there. Those desperate fools, he laughed at their stupidity. They wouldn't find Kagome until it was too late.
…
As her training began drawing to an end, Naraku tested Kagome's skills in not only warfare but her capability of actually going through a killing. After more than a few innocent men had died by her hand he deemed her ready to take on the outside world.
"Kagome," Naraku began. "You have done well. Now it is time to seek out those who had brought this dark fate upon you. The tajiya. The monk, Miroku. And Inuyasha, the filthy hanyou that betrayed you on a level I can only imagine. You must find these individuals and extract your revenge. I'm letting you do this so that you can return to me stronger than ever, more powerful than you have ever been before. Now go."
Kagome nodded, bowed once and left.
…
The miko rode through the woods on a horse provided by Naraku. Her face was stony as the horse trotted along smoothly. Where to find the tajiya? The monk? Inuyasha?
Go south, a voice whispered.
Nodding to herself, Kagome changed course and urged her mount to go faster. Her hatred would not allow her to waste much time and she only rested when the horse needed a break. Occasionally, on her journey she would come across humans and demons alike but they were disposed of easily enough.
Only once did she freeze up for a brief instant. There had been a woman, no more than a young girl really. Her hatred had urged her to kill the human girl but once her blade was raised and the girl was cringing in expectation of the coming blow, Kagome could not bring her sword down. She is me, she thought, and I am her.
No, the voice said. She is weak. You are powerful.
Kagome nodded to herself. Yes, I am powerful. The sword rang as it cut through the air, through flesh, through life.
…
Inuyasha listened, stony-faced, to the conversation going on between two humans. He was in the forest and they on the road so they would not see him and he walked quietly as to not attract unwanted attention.
"…yes, yes, I've heard that as well. Suri told me some lord to the north of us has been on a killing rampage. He has some prized fighter that's been killing people right and left."
"I heard it was a woman."
One of the men snorted. "I'll believe there's some crazy warrior sent by a lord to massacre our villages but not that such a fighter could be a woman."
"But Hotaka told me he saw her! He'd been traveling and he saw her kill a whole traveling party near the Shinjai village!"
"Hotaka must have been drinking again…"
The voices faded as Inuyasha walked away. Could this 'crazed warrior' possibly be one of Naraku's? Well, there were plenty of 'crazed warriors' making their way across the country but a woman? Inuyasha could think of only one lord that used women as warriors. And anything that one 'lord' did concerned him greatly.
…
Kagome walked through the bustling town of humans in disgust. So many of them crawling around every which way, in the illusion that they were safe. They were weak and she knew it. It would be so very easy for her to kill every one of them, snap their necks or skewer them with a sword until they breathed no more, talked no more, laughed no more and the light faded from their eyes.
Still, she did nothing. Her goal was not to needlessly kill every being she came across. She was hungry and that came first. Not having any coin, she simply snatched a loaf of bread from a stand and an apple from another. The owner of the second stand saw her steal the apple and began to protest but she drew her cloak to the side very subtly and he stopped with his protests once he caught sight of her sword.
Power, she told herself. I have it and they don't.
…
Sango stared quietly at the meal before her. She wasn't hungry. She didn't remember what being hungry felt like. She didn't remember what much of anything felt like. Her life seemed to be nothing but a long, painful blur.
Miroku looked at her in concern and said, "You should eat something, Sango."
Sango nodded, blank faced, and lifted some rice to her mouth, chewed and swallowed, feeling like the effort was more than what it was worth.
Miroku sighed and put his bowl away.
"Make sure you put your bowl away when your done," he said, "I'm going to sleep."
With that he rolled out one of their sleeping mats, collapsed in exhaustion and left Sango to stare empty eyed into the fire.
…
Kagome wandered around the town for a while, listening to the rumors of the fabled half-demon Inuyasha. It seemed tales of him were being spread across the countryside as a hanyou who protected humans from youkai. Kagome's hatred flared at the words she heard. Inuyasha protect no one but himself.
Giving up on trying to pinpoint the location of her enemies by listening to the local gossips, Kagome decided it was about time to leave. It would do her no good to stay in this place any longer.
Sighing, she turned around and began walking towards the outskirts of the town, leading her horse by its reins. Soon enough she was free of the crawling masses of humans, back within the depths of a silent forest. However, the quiet only lasted so long. No more than a few minutes after she had climbed up onto her horse's back there came a loud crashing noise of something rather large scrambling through the forest.
Kagome stepped down from her horse and let it trot off a little way. It would not wander away too far, she knew. Drawing her sword she prepared herself for battle.
Soon enough the youkai came in view, a disgusting mindless creature with nothing but brute strength and a vicious appetite.
Kagome eyed the creature in distaste. How weak, she thought. How pathetic. This creature has lost itself to its simple power.
Swift as ever, Kagome was quick to strike with her blade and was doing well enough until something distracted her. An aura, entirely too familiar but she could not place it… old, old feelings of comfort, warmth… what was this feeling? She froze in concentration.
The youkai took advantage of her state and sent her flying through air, only to hit a tree with a thud and fall to the ground. Her vision blurred and pain shot up her arm. I broke my arm, she realized in shock. How careless…
She looked up at the youkai before her and knew she should feel something… fear, perhaps. Anger. But nothing came and she was reminded of the last time this numbness had filled her. It was only then that she remembered her hatred.
However, before the youkai could land another hit, a figure dashed forward and destroyed the creature with a single strike. Kagome's eyes widened in shock. Such power, she thought to herself. It was only when her eyes focused and she recognized the tall figure that her shock turn to hatred, so fierce and biting that her eyes stung and her body shook with the intensity of it.
"You!" she managed to gasp as she grit her teeth against the pain in her arm and tried to stand.
………
A/N: So… what do you think?
Sorry for the cliffhanger… but there'll be more soon.