The sun was low in the sky when the group found a decent spot to stop for the night. It was only a small opening between the trees, a clearing big enough for a fire and nine people to sleep on the ground and still maintain a semblance of cover from the miners. Clarke set about clearing away some brush for a fire while Madi scurried around the tree line for kindling and branches. Clarke quickly got some flames going with a flint stone from her pack. The easy routine of this action threw the others off kilter. They would have to relearn the land, and the survival skills, that they had packed away in the recesses of their minds during their time on the Ark.
Monty was the first one of them to speak since they set off from the crash site. There had been introductions, of course, but Madi could already recognize and name the newcomers. The Arkers, on the other hand, had not seemed to be prepared to see Clarke, let alone an eleven-year-old girl. After the shock and relief of finding her friends to be alive, Clarke busied herself with categorizing all the changes in them, as they were probably doing to her, while her and Madi lead them back home.
"What can we do, Clarke?" he asked, stepping forward with eager eyes, and frown lines that Clarke didn't remember being there six years ago. She was startled, just a little, by the intrusion on the silence so common when her and Madi worked together. She smiled and stood, brushing her hands on her pants.
"Um, we're good, actually. Just rest. We still have quite a hike tomorrow." Monty gave a small smile in return and slung his pack off his back and the others did the same, unpacking bedrolls and rations for the night.
Once the fire was going strong, the group sat in a circle around it, talking quietly. Harper and Monty were sitting by Clarke and Madi, and awkwardly began making conversation, in a dismal effort to make up for lost time. Raven joined them, and after a quick hug, the conversation turned to the bunker, and the work it would take to get their people out.
Clarke had spoken to everyone but Bellamy when she noticed that Madi was no longer beside her. She spotted her sitting a little ways away from the group, huddled at the base of a tree. The light from the fire barely reached her face, but Clarke had been alone with her for long enough now that she didn't need the dim light to see the frown etched in the girl's face.
"Hey" Clarke said in a low voice as she approached, "you doing okay?" she asked. The answer, Clarke knew, was no, but Madi had been forced to age even faster than Clarke. They were both used to hiding it all away. Instead of answering the question, Madi just hugged her knees closer to her small body. Clarke sighed and sat with her, leaning against the trunk.
"We've talked about them coming down for so long. It's different having them really here, isn't it?" Clarke mused, gazing at the orange glow of the fire across their small camp. Murphy and Emori had laid out their bedrolls by the flames. Sitting hand in hand they soaked in the warmth, taking in lungfuls of smoke and pine and all the things they had missed. Echo, Monty and Harper had also chosen spots to lay out their bedrolls and though the three were lying horizontally, Clarke could see the tiniest movement of their mouths, whispering to each other in the dark. Bellamy and Raven still sat up, hands outstretched towards to fire, talking in low tones and looking up to the sky, reacquainting themselves to this view of it, just as they all had when they first came down six and a half years ago.
Clarke tore her glance away from the scene and back to Madi. She noticed, alarmed, that the girl was crying silent tears.
"Hey, hey," Clarke whispered, wrapping her arms around Madi and tucking her into her chest, "What's wrong?"
At these words, Madi burst out into sobs. Her eyes filled with fresh tears and Clarke hugged her tighter, effectively soaking the shoulder of her shirt. Regardless, Clarke rocked Madi back and forth, letting her cry.
It was a few minutes before Clarke thought it was acceptable to pull Madi back and ask what had started all this. As soon as she moved to do so, Madi withdrew her arms, which were wedged between their bodies and threw them around Clarke's midsection with a vice-like grip.
"Wha —" Clarke started before Madi wailed,
"We were supposed to be a family!" and her sobs were renewed with full force, tears now soaking the front of Clarke's shirt. Clarke glanced back across the field, and she could see the silhouettes of Bellamy and Raven, the only other two people still awake, stare at the source of the outburst. She ignored the curiosity in their eyes. They had each other up on the Ark. All she had was herself, for a time. And then Madi, the strange nightblood child who miraculously survived on her own. So, Clarke focused on Madi once more.
"What are you talking about? Of course we're a family. You and me, kid." Clarke tried to calm the girl who had been her companion for so many years now, smoothing the back of her hair and rocking her once more.
"All those stories, every single one and he was in it," she sniffed, "If you love each other so much then why aren't we a family?" Madi gave a shuddering breath before she said, "I wanted you to be my parents."
It was at these words that it all clicked together in Clarke's brain. She had desperately clung to the past all these years, telling Madi all the stories she had. The ones from the Ark and the ones from the ground. Most of them featuring a tall man with dark curly hair and a self-sacrificing streak ten miles wide. Clarke even told Madi the stories Bellamy had in turn told her. The ones about the ancient Greeks and how he had named his sister because of it all. Of course it sounded like she loved him. She did. But she had been living in the past. Between the radio calls that remained unanswered and the stories she told, she knew she loved him and had for a long time, but she had not given much thought to how the future would actually play out.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Clarke hoped that when the five years was up, her friends would come back to her and she and Bellamy would live in whatever happily ever after they could get on the ground. She never allowed herself to fantasize what it would be like when that happened. The time and distance were too daunting. Now that they were here, Clarke had to come to terms with how much things had really changed. For her, for the Ark, for her and Bellamy. Facing that reality made Clarke want to cry too. Instead she peeled Madi off of her and looked her square in the eyes, which were red and puffy and nowhere near dry. She sighed.
"Six years is a really long time. People change. Feelings change. But you and me? We are always going to be a family. I promise."
"So, you don't love him anymore?" Madi questioned.
"I'm saying you can't make someone love you back," Clarke gave a sad smile, "but he can be a friend and he can help us open the bunker." Madi just nodded and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Clarke smoothed her hair down again and kissed her forehead.
"You and me, kid. Time for bed." and with that, she pulled Madi off the ground and led them back towards the dying fire. With just enough light to spread their bed rolls out on a flat piece of land, Clarke tucked Madi in before laying down herself. Her blue eyes caught brown ones across the meager flames, which held hers for a fleeting moment before he broke away, deciding instead to stare at the embers. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, the image of the man she knew and the man sitting across from her burned behind her eyelids.
She knew she needed to stop living in the past. Her and Bellamy needed a fresh start. One that acknowledged their shared history, but would allow space for them to grow and learn each other again. It might not be love, not for Bellamy, but she knew there would always be a place in her heart for him. They still had a lot of work to do, after all.