Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Harry Potter or anything created by J.K. Rowling for that matter. Healer McCarthy is mine, though- if only I could swap him for Draco!
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Warnings for this story- please read these first!
This story is about a homosexual relationship between two men and contains the issue of male pregnancy. If you don´t like this or even feel disgusted by it, don´t read.
I won´t take any flames because you haven´t heeded these warnings, nor do I want to hear any crap about homosexual love being perverse or something like that.
Same goes for mpreg- it´s not everyone´s cup of tea, so please refrain from bothering with this fic if you know you can´t stomach it.
Thanks.
Furthermore: the story is AU and only partly DH-epilogue compliant. It will deal mainly with pre-mpreg.
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Author´s notes:
This story was inspired by a conversation with friend of mine who said heck, he´d even go through pregnancy if that meant he and his lover would be able to have a child of their own.
I´ve written it quite a while ago, unsure how I felt about the subject myself up until then, and have decided to post it now since I don´t have much time to update my other story Wicked
(but those of you who´re following it: rest assured that I am working on it in between, the new chapter is underway!).
Timeframe for this story: set in the present; Hermione´s daughter rose was born in 2006, thus she´s three years old of now. Harry and Draco are 29 years old.
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And now: enjoy!
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Part 1: Hold me, thrill me...
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Draco watched as Harry played with three-year-old Rose, chasing the little girl on its toy broom across the lawn, and pretending not to be able to catch her at all. She squealed with delight every time she escaped him anew, never tiring of the game. Harry´s carefree laughter rang out through the garden, and Draco found himself smiling.
He looked up when Hermione sat down next to him on the bench, Hugo in her arms. "Hello there, Sleepyhead," Draco said as the little boy evidently wasn´t completely awake yet and buried his face in his mother´s shoulder, yawning widely.
Hermione smiled: "If I wouldn´t wake him, he´d nap all afternoon." She shifted the child and bent her head down to its ear: "Did you see that Uncle Harry and Uncle Draco are here?" she whispered. "Uncle Harry is playing with Rosie, look."
Hugo turned his head and cautiously peered over his shoulder, but then his gaze came to rest on Draco. He was a smaller version of Ron, Draco thought, but if you looked closer, you could find Hermione in him as well.
They looked at each other solemnly until Hugo suddenly burst into grin and quickly hid his face behind his hands.
Draco hid his face as well, peering at Hugo between two fingers. The little boy, who had been peeking at him of course, giggled as Draco quickly hid again. Hermione watched them, an unreadable expression on her face.
After a while, Hugo squirmed out of her arms and climbed onto Draco´s lap instead: "Daddy pway gee-gees!" he cried happily. Draco complied, pretending to drop Hugo off several times and eliciting gleeful squeals from the child, but raised a questioning eyebrow at being called "Daddy".
Hermione smiled fondly as she watched her son bounce on Draco´s leg, pretending to sit on a horse: "He calls every man Daddy right now, I don´t know why. Maybe because it´s easier than memorizing the names."
Draco nodded, eventually stopping and setting the boy down: "Look, Rosie is beckoning you over to her. Better go and see what´s up!"
As soon as Hugo had toddled off towards his sister and Harry, Hermione looked at Draco inquisitively: "Tell me what´s wrong?"
Draco returned her look, astounded by how well she was able to read him, but didn´t reply anything.
"Come on, " Hermione said with a touch of the impatience Harry swore was one of her trademarks, "every time you´re around the kids you seem downtrodden after a while for some reason. I noticed some time ago."
Draco had a defiant answer on his tongue, but then found he couldn´t lie to her. He sighed and averted his eyes: "It´s just... it makes me a little sad, is all," he finally said.
"Why?" she asked softly.
He shrugged; the warm sunlight suddenly seemed too bright, making him squint: "I guess I´d like a kid of my own."
He could hear these words echo around in the momentary silence that followed, half-wishing he hadn´t said them, half-relieved that they were out.
Hermione nodded slowly, he could see it from the corner of his eye: "Does Harry know?"
"I think he does," Draco said in a low voice. "We haven´t exactly talked about it, but... you know."
Again, they fell silent and watched Harry play with the children. "He loves them so much," Draco mumbled, his face sad again. "I guess he´d like to be a father."
"I was just wondering," Hermione said slowly after a while, "wether you are considering of actually giving it a try."
Draco turned to her: "Adoption, you mean? Or a surrogate mother? I don´t think-" "That´s not what I meant, no," she said. "I was talking about getting pregnant."
A snort of laughter escaped Draco: "You´re pulling my leg," he said.
"I´m not." Hermione looked as serious as could be. "I was talking about male pregnancy."
Draco stared at her: "Male..." he echoed, disbelievingly. "Are you sure you´re not pulling my leg?"
Hermione subdued a laugh at the expression in his face: "Yes, I am! Are you telling me you´ve never heard about it?"
"Heard about what?"
Draco flinched at being caught like that and looked up at Harry, who had joined them and dropped into the chair opposite them, looking flushed from running around. Tracking and Stealth during Autor training, Draco thought darkly, had certainly taught his lover how to move inaudibly.
"Er..." he then said awkwardly, unsure as to how Harry would react to this: "Hermione and I were talking about... about male pregnancy."
He ended with a laugh, as if waving it off, but Harry stared, looking as confused as Draco had before: "Male..."
Hermione rolled her eyes in mock desperation: "Oh, for heaven´s sake- it´s not that uncommon!" She got up and went inside; when she came back a moment later, she was carrying a glossy magazine: "There´s an article about it in here," she said lightly and handed it to Draco. "I´m going to make some coffee while you´re at it."
"She means reading," Harry translated for Draco, who grinned: "You don´t say."
Harry sat down next to him, and they leafed through the magazine until they had found the article. "Loopholes," Harry read the headline aloud. "Are you sure that´s the one?"
"Hmm..." Draco had already begun reading, so Harry fell silent.
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When Hermione appeared on the terrace with a tray, both men were deeply immersed in the article and wearing an almost identical frown. "It´s quite interesting, isn´t it?" she said while she poured the coffee.
Draco looked pale: "It´s mainly scary," he said. Harry only nodded vigorously.
Hermione sat down: "It is an option, however," she said, trying to sound casual. "If you really want children and are not inclined to adopt or use a surrogate, it might be the solution."
Harry looked from her to Draco: "Er... how come I suddenly got the feeling this is concerning us?"
Draco returned his gaze apologetically: "I´m sorry... it... just came up somehow."
As if emphasizing this, they heard the pitter-patter of small feet before Hugo threw himself into Draco´s arms: "Daddy pway ´gain?"
-
Harry was very quiet that evening. Draco eyed him surreptitiously, wondering wether his lover was mad at him, but didn´t know how to address the issue.
He retreated to bed early with a mug of tea and a book; when Harry joined him a while later, however, he crawled under the covers and snuggled up close to Draco, sliding his head underneath his arm so that he could rest it against the blond´s chest.
Draco put his book aside and wrapped his arms around Harry, leaning his cheek against the unruly mop of jet black hair: "What´s bothering you?" he asked very softly.
Harry sighed: "Children," he murmured. "It´s not that I didn´t think about it at times, I just never thought you´d want your own."
Draco hesitated: "I didn´t know either," he admitted. "But being with Rose and Hugo, it seems that there´s more to them than changing nappies and trying to stop them from crying all the time."
Harry gave a short chuckle: "I bet Ron and Hermione would be glad to hear that."
Draco caressed his back: "What do you think?" he said, almost timidly.
Harry sought for words: "I... don´t know... can you imagine us as parents?"
Pictures of Harry playing with Rose came to Draco´s mind, and he smiled into Harry´s hair: "Yes... I guess I can."
"Well, then..." Harry muttered, "then we should think about it."
-
Draco hardly found any sleep that night. Harry and he had curled up together, and as he lay there, listening to his lover´s heartbeat, he tried to imagine what would happen if they decided to have children.
A child. A little person which they both had created together, which would look a little like Harry and a little like himself.
It sounded too miraculous to be true, he mused.
Harry sighed in his sleep, nestling closer against the blond; Draco smiled as he felt some drool landing on his chest. Those little details were what made a relationship worthwhile in his opinion. Harry and his quirks... he smiled even more.
No, he then said to himself, he couldn´t consider adoption or even a surrogate mother when there was another option, an option which would truly make him and Harry the parents of their child.
If Harry agreed to it, he decided, he would choose male pregnancy.
-
Three months later found Draco in St. Mungo´s and asking himself wether he had completely been off the rocker when he had convinced Harry that he was ready and able to carry a child.
They had been to see Healer McCarthy, a specialist at St. Mungo´s who had explained the whole procedure that was necessary if a male wizard wanted to become pregnant:
"As the male body normally isn´t equipped to be carrying a fetus, there are some complicated spells that have to be performed by specifically trained mediwizards, which will then induce the necessary changes. They take three days to complete and initially are extremely painful, as there are some major transformations of inner organs, formations of new organs and an expansion of the pelvis to be achieved."
Harry and Draco exchanged a look, thinking the same: ouch.
The mediwizard continued: "During that time, no pain relievers can be given, since the risk that they might do some irreparable damage is too high. The respective wizard remains in intensive care and is thoroughly supervised throughout the whole process however."
At this, Harry looked outright alarmed: "How high exactly is the risk at all?" he asked.
"Very," Healer McCarthy confirmed. "There is no mistake about it: if something goes wrong, there might be lasting damage to the respective wizard´s health. As long as he´s sufficiently cared for, however, everything should be well."
Harry seemed to want to say something else, but Draco cut him off by clearing his throat: "And... assuming that everything goes well... how does the baby... come out in the end?"
Healer McCarthy conjured up a chart: "During the process of reforming, as we call it, a temporary birth canal is being produced, similar to a woman´s. Its orifice will appear in the area of the perineum. After the insamination it usually closes and stays like that until shortly before the birth, thus it usually doesn´t affect the male other than being a little sensitive."
Draco and Harry stared at the chart: "I rather thought they´d execute a C-section..." Draco said feebly.
The Healer shook his head: "That has proven to be too dangerous," he said quietly. "The mortality risk is three times higher than the other way."
He put the chart down: "We have had two male pregnancies during the past three years, and both have been successful," he said encouragingly. "It is important for the future fathers to know about the risks, as such a decision shouldn´t be taken lightly, thus I´ll give you a few brochures to take home. You are of course welcome to contact me if you have further questions."
-
That evening, after perusing the brochures they had gotten, Harry looked at Draco wide-eyed: "You are not going to have that done to you, you aren´t!" Draco would have laughed at him, hadn´t he read the brochures for himself.
"It´s enough to make you feel queasy," he admitted. Harry shook his head though: "It´s seriously dangerous. Draco, if the price for a child is that high, I am not sure we should do it."
Draco swallowed, hardly able not to show his disappointment: "Healer McCarthy said the last few have been successful..." he argued.
"The last two, you mean," Harry replied. "That´s not exactly reassuring, in my opinion. Don´t you think there would´ve been more if it were so easy?"
"We might not have been the only ones who didn´t know about male pregnancies in the first place," Draco reminded him. "There might be more if it were more common."
He looked at Harry with a resigned look on his face: "The more I think about it, the more I want it," he said, his voice sounding weary.
Harry leaned forward, taking his lover´s hands in his: "All I´m saying is that I´m fearing for you," he muttered softly. "I hate the idea of you being in such pain."
Draco leaned forward as well, closing the distance between them until their foreheads touched: "I´ll be fine," he whispered.
-
He wasn´t so sure about that now, however, as he was lying on a hospital bed. He had been in St. Mungo´s for two days already; Healer McCarthy had assessed his health to see if he was in the required condition to endure the reforming process, and had pronounced him qualified.
Right now he was standing at the end of Draco´s bed, preparing for the spells he was about to perform.
Harry, who had been at Draco´s side nearly all the time, had been sent outside since the magic that was about to enfold was powerful, and the mediwizard was not going to take any risks.
The Healer now turned towards Draco: "Are you ready?" he asked. Draco nodded; as ready as could be, he thought.
"Kindly remove your shirt," McCarthy said. When Draco was merely clad in loosely fitting cotton pants, the Healer asked him to lay back and close his eyes.
Draco´s skin prickled with nervousness.
He had no time to dwell on that, however; he never heard a word, since the Healers were required to perform the spells nonverbally so as to prevent any misuse, but his stomach suddenly clenched painfully, feeling as though he had swallowed a block of ice.
It was unpleasant, and the weighty coldness now spread into the rest of his body, accompanied by a fierce, cramping ache that robbed him of his breath.
A moment later, Draco lost consciousness.
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To Be Continued
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