Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything associated with it,
so there.
The Embarrassing defeat of Pegasus
Talon: "So Pegasus, it comes down to just you and me. Pegasus! Prepare to be defeated!"
Announcer: "The final match has started; now shuffle and cut each other's decks. Good...Pegasus, Talon, It's time to duel!"
Pegasus: "Well Talon my boy, I guess you can go first." (It's not like I don't know what he has, or is going to play, thanks to my Millennium eye!)
Talon: "First, I'll set a monster, and lay one card face down, that ends my turn."
Pegasus: "Let me play a little psychic game for a moment..., Could your set monster be the Man Eater Bug, and your other card, could that be the trap card Bottomless Trap Hole?"
Talon: "Well, you'll just have to wait and find out now won't you."
Pegasus: "That fool, does he not know the power of my millennium eye?"
Pegasus: "Now, I will start out by playing Harpies Feather Duster, thereby destroying your trap card."
Talon: "Damn it!"
Pegasus: "Now, now, no need for foul language. Then I summon the Witch of the Black Forest and attack your Man-Eater Bug!"
Talon: "Ha!, think again Pegasus. You did not attack my Man-Eater Bug."
Pegasus: "What!?"
Talon: "You attacked my Big Shield Gardna!"
Pegasus: "How is this possible!?, I have the millennium eye, it showed me that card was a Man-Eater Bug!"
Talon: "Oh, that's not all I also play this quick play magic card, The Reliable Guardian, which raises the defense of my monster by 700 points, making you lose 2200 life points, which means that I win!"
Pegasus: "But how?"
Talon: "Since you asked, I am also in possession of a millennium item."
Pegasus: "What?, But I haven't seen it!"
Talon: "Of course you wouldn't."
Pegasus: "Well where is it then?!"
Talon: "You don't see it because I'm wearing the millennium condom!"
Pegasus: "What?!, is there such a thing?"
Talon: "Yes, and it has the power to confuse the other millennium items! But for some reason it only works when I have and erection!"
Pegasus: "But you beat me too fast, I didn't even get to play my Relinquished!"
Talon: "What is a Relinquished?"
Pegasus: Holds up the card "This is a Relinquished."
Talon: "Oh!"
Pegasus: "Hey!, what the hell?!, I see rainbows in my millennium eye!"
Talon: "Sorry bout that, its just that your Relinquished, it, it..."
Pegasus: "It what!?"
Talon: "It looks like a giant..., well..."
Pegasus: "A giant what!?"
Talon: "A giant vagina!"
Pegasus: "Well I guess it kinda does..., Wait, what am I saying! This is my card, it is not a vagina, and it's one of my most powerful spellcasters! Now get out and take your prize money!"
Talon: "I'm going, I'm going, no need to yell"
Announcer: "The victor, Talon!"
Pegasus: "I'm not upset that I lost, I'm upset that he thought my Relinquished was a vagina! It's a good thing he didn't see my Thousand Eyes Restrict! Hey, wait a minute, I said get outta here Talon!, stupid millennium condom!"
The Embarrassing defeat of Pegasus
Talon: "So Pegasus, it comes down to just you and me. Pegasus! Prepare to be defeated!"
Announcer: "The final match has started; now shuffle and cut each other's decks. Good...Pegasus, Talon, It's time to duel!"
Pegasus: "Well Talon my boy, I guess you can go first." (It's not like I don't know what he has, or is going to play, thanks to my Millennium eye!)
Talon: "First, I'll set a monster, and lay one card face down, that ends my turn."
Pegasus: "Let me play a little psychic game for a moment..., Could your set monster be the Man Eater Bug, and your other card, could that be the trap card Bottomless Trap Hole?"
Talon: "Well, you'll just have to wait and find out now won't you."
Pegasus: "That fool, does he not know the power of my millennium eye?"
Pegasus: "Now, I will start out by playing Harpies Feather Duster, thereby destroying your trap card."
Talon: "Damn it!"
Pegasus: "Now, now, no need for foul language. Then I summon the Witch of the Black Forest and attack your Man-Eater Bug!"
Talon: "Ha!, think again Pegasus. You did not attack my Man-Eater Bug."
Pegasus: "What!?"
Talon: "You attacked my Big Shield Gardna!"
Pegasus: "How is this possible!?, I have the millennium eye, it showed me that card was a Man-Eater Bug!"
Talon: "Oh, that's not all I also play this quick play magic card, The Reliable Guardian, which raises the defense of my monster by 700 points, making you lose 2200 life points, which means that I win!"
Pegasus: "But how?"
Talon: "Since you asked, I am also in possession of a millennium item."
Pegasus: "What?, But I haven't seen it!"
Talon: "Of course you wouldn't."
Pegasus: "Well where is it then?!"
Talon: "You don't see it because I'm wearing the millennium condom!"
Pegasus: "What?!, is there such a thing?"
Talon: "Yes, and it has the power to confuse the other millennium items! But for some reason it only works when I have and erection!"
Pegasus: "But you beat me too fast, I didn't even get to play my Relinquished!"
Talon: "What is a Relinquished?"
Pegasus: Holds up the card "This is a Relinquished."
Talon: "Oh!"
Pegasus: "Hey!, what the hell?!, I see rainbows in my millennium eye!"
Talon: "Sorry bout that, its just that your Relinquished, it, it..."
Pegasus: "It what!?"
Talon: "It looks like a giant..., well..."
Pegasus: "A giant what!?"
Talon: "A giant vagina!"
Pegasus: "Well I guess it kinda does..., Wait, what am I saying! This is my card, it is not a vagina, and it's one of my most powerful spellcasters! Now get out and take your prize money!"
Talon: "I'm going, I'm going, no need to yell"
Announcer: "The victor, Talon!"
Pegasus: "I'm not upset that I lost, I'm upset that he thought my Relinquished was a vagina! It's a good thing he didn't see my Thousand Eyes Restrict! Hey, wait a minute, I said get outta here Talon!, stupid millennium condom!"