Allen walked into the army's strategy tent looking for Roy. He had not joined the army for dinner and it was becoming a habit for him to skip meals. Roy was hunched over a large map mumbling to himself. Allen could barely see him because the room was so dark. It was very odd.
"Master Roy, you will go blind if you don't light some candles." His tone was lighthearted, not his usual loud and overexcited self.
Allen lit two candles and brought them to the table. Roy winced at the light but didn't seem to even notice Allen sit down across from him. Leftover food was sitting cold on Roy's plate, seemingly untouched.
"Master Roy!" Allen practically yelled as he slammed his fist on the table.
Roy jumped as if he had woken up from a daze. "Oh! Allen, I am terribly sorry. I guess I was lost in my thoughts." He rubbed his eyes and forced a smile but Allen saw right through it. Roy looked as though he had not slept for days and his full plate of food told him he had not eaten as well.
"You seem to be thinking a lot these days." His voice was somber and concerned. "When was the last time you have eaten or slept?" He eyed the full plate of food letting Roy know he couldn't lie.
Roy followed his gaze and sighed heavily. "I honestly don't remember, Allen."
Allen stood up angry at the thought that no one had stepped in earlier, himself included. "Forgive me for speaking out of place but why aren't you taking care of yourself? This isn't like you…"
Roy was staring off behind Allen, almost through him like he wasn't there. "I'm responsible. Everything is dependent on me, my decisions! Don't you understand that!"
"Master….I"
Roy smiled meekly almost holding back tears after his outburst. "Every death, every injury is because of me. I can't rest until I make sure no one suffers. No victory is a true victory unless no one dies."
Allen understood Roy's pain but it was simply unrealistic, no matter how much he hated the truth. How many comrades had he watched die alongside him? It was something you just had to live with. Everyone he cut down with his own weapon was fighting to survive as well. As a knight you have to believe that those deaths were necessary for the goal of peace.
"This is war, death is unavoidable. You are putting so much pressure on yourself when you have people who can help you bear that burden. Trust in your comrades. We support you with all our strength. I know I don't fully understand how hard it is to lead people knowing some might die, but I fight as hard as I can to make sure that doesn't happen."
Roy looked down his voice quiet. "You may think me mad but I won't give up. I believe in a true victory and I will make it happen."
Allen was beside Roy now and very serious. "Then you must make me a promise. Trust in us and rely on us to help you fulfill that goal. You will end up killing yourself at this rate. You must start eating and sleeping. This isn't an option now that I know the situation."
Roy's eyes lightened up a little and he nodded. "Thank you, Allen. I'm sorry you had to become such a serious person for my sake."
Allen stood up and crossed his arms. "Still able to make fun of me through all this serious talk, huh? Guess that's a good start to recovery." The two laughed and Allen saw a glimpse of the Roy he knew, the one he would do anything for.