Hi all! This is the first fic I've written for OUAT. Of course this doesn't belong to me, yadda yadda yadda. I intend for this to be a one-shot, but there is another chapter that I am toying around with to make it a two parter if it is well-received.
AU. Post-Neverland, no impending curse. If this has been done before, my apologies. The idea has been fluttering around in my head for a while now. Enjoy!
Things had been progressing fairly well for the Neverland crew since their return from that less-than-idyllic place. Everyone was settling into a comfortable lifestyle in Storybrook and aside from a few squabbles of little import, life was good. Especially for Killian Jones.
For once in a very, very long time, Killian felt like he belonged somewhere other than aboard his ship. True, the Jolly held a special place in his heart, but the ship was not his only source of comfort any more. Things with Emma remained complicated – and things with Baelfire even more so – but Killian was happy. The Crocodile hardly crossed his mind of late and of that, whenever he thought about it, he was not sure what to think. He had not lied to Emma whenever he promised not to allow his thirst for vengeance interfere with the search for Henry, but a part of him still felt like he owed it to Milah to avenge her death. What does it say about a man whenever he does not avenge the death of his beloved?
This was the thought swirling through Hook's mind whenever Baelfire – Neal – approached him as he was gazing out at the sea from the helm of the Jolly.
"Miss it?" Neal inquired, drawing Hook out of his reverie.
"Hello, Bae," Hook greeted, keeping his eyes on the horizon. His relationship with Baelfire – if one could call it that – was an unusual one. In Neverland they had acted like fools in the presence of Emma, but Neal was still Milah's son and Hook still held a fondness for the man. "What do I owe the honor of you being here?"
Neal had been leaning his weight to the right, but shifted to the left and put his hands in his pockets, clearly nervous. "It has to do with my mother."
At this, Hook stiffened. His Milah. He would never forget her, never, but she crossed his mind more and more infrequently as Emma Swan continued to race through his thoughts constantly. If he didn't know any better, he would suspect that Neal could read his mind and knew that right now was one of those moments whenever he could not get his first love off his mind.
"What about Milah?" He turned his gaze to the man, trying to figure out what in all the realms Bae would have to say about Milah. It was a touchy subject between the two – between anyone – and he just hat no idea what to expect; he hated being on the receiving end of surprises.
"I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you, not anymore," Rumpelstiltskin's son looked at the pirate, both visibly uncomfortable. "Neverland showed me that you aren't the villain I made you out to be in my mind for all these years. I can see why my mother wanted to leave my father, I can see why Emma looks at you the way she does, I can even understand why you did what you did to me all those years ago in Neverland, but Hook, there is just one thing I'll never understand."
Hook could tell that this was one of those big, emotional moments and he was definitely, 100% unprepared for. Until Emma, his life had no room for any emotion other than revenge after Milah's death. What possessed Neal to come here, he had no idea, but he was going to try his best to not cock this moment up. But Neal wasn't finished.
"I'll never understand how you chased your revenge for all of these years, but just gave it up. How do you just let it go?" Hook recognized the flash of pain that went across Neal's face and immediately knew what this conversation was about. It wasn't about Hook letting go of Milah, it was about Baelfire letting her go, about Bae forgiving his father truly. Bae may have uttered words of forgiveness to his father, but words can be empty.
Hook took a step towards Neal as the latter continued to stand there nervously, trying to prepare for whatever onslaught of words Hook was thinking up in his mind. "You don't."
Two words, so simple and so true. That was all Hook could muster up to offer the boy – man. Upon receiving a confused stare from Neal, he elaborated, "You don't just let it go, Bae. But that doesn't mean you let it consume you, either. It consumed me for 300 years. Look at me," He commanded whenever Neal wouldn't hold his gaze, "I loved your mother. Devotedly. It is that same devotion that I twisted into hatred for your father; a hatred I'm not planning on giving up any time soon no matter how many good deeds the Crocodile commits. But you learn to live for other things. You move on, but you don't let go."
Silence followed for a minute. Two. Three. Neal absorbed the information that Hook gave him, mulling it over in his head and trying to find the words for an appropriate response. "Thank you," He offered lamely.
"I don't deserve your thanks," Hook pointedly responded, fiddling with his hook absentmindedly, "But I appreciate your forgiveness." As more silence engulfed the two, Hook was anxious to move on from this increasingly awkward conversation. However, he surprised himself with what he said next, "Your mother wanted to come back for you, Baelfire. More than that, I wanted it, too. Rumpelstiltskin cocked up being a father to you and I cocked up as well in Neverland. Do better than we did. Be a father to Henry."
A nod was all Neal could respond with, trying to process the information Hook had given him. With a nervous laugh he made to leave the ship, "Parental advice from a pirate, huh?"
Hook smiled tightly, it not quite reaching his eyes, "Aye, parental advice from a pirate."
That night, unsurprisingly, Hook was plagued by nightmares of his Milah. In the past, he would have relished seeing her in his dreams, but tonight she was just a reminder of his failures. His failure to keep her alive and safe, his failure to have some sort of family, his failure to take down the man that ripped out her heart and crushed it.
Killian had been doing a grand job of not drowning his sorrows in rum since he began to realize the depth of his feelings for Emma, but when he awoke following his dreams of Milah, he was sorely tempted to dig out his best rum and drink himself into oblivion. For reasons unknown to him, he squashed those thoughts and instead decided to take a walk through Storybrook. After all, he had no plans of leaving the town, so why not acquaint himself with it better?
There was a chill in the air and it could not have been any later than five in the morning. He saw no one in the streets as he began walking from the docks. He had no particular direction, he was just wandering. Before the trip to Neverland, he always moved around Storybrook with some purpose – usually malicious. Now... now he just wanted to walk. Just wanted to clear his mind naturally without the aid of alcohol.
The lights were on at the Sheriff's Office and Emma's yellow Bug was parked outside, but he decided to avoid that route for now. He knew how he felt about the Savior, but he meant for her to realize her feelings on her own. Right now it was clear that Emma needed space from both him and Neal, so he gave her that. Plus, if he was downright being honest with himself, he was way too emotional to chat with Emma and possess that usual air of emotional indifference he had perfected over the years.
Instead, he continued on until he reached the forest on the outskirts of town. This was really a lovely little town. He would remain here as long as Emma wanted him to; the once fearsome Captain Hook reduced to abiding by the wishes of a lady. He didn't care. He had done a cracking job cementing fear in the minds of those that chose to battle against him, but when it comes to his affections for Emma he could not care less about what outsiders thought of him now.
Emma. Milah. Milah. Emma. It was of no surprise to him that his mind was always filled with one or the other. What amazing women they were. Are. Was.
With a heavy sigh, he sat himself on a log and ran his good hand through his hair, more for the sake of doing something with his right hand than to really fix his hair.
Then he heard a twig snap.
His thoughts may be occupied by the fairer sex, but his reflexes were as in tune with the environment around him as ever before. He snapped up from his sitting position and had his blade in hand in seconds.
The voice that greeted him was not not not what he wanted to hear right now. "Stay your hand, pirate."
Cursing his luck, Hook did not relax his position but cast a vicious scowl towards the imp. "Are you following me, Crocodile?"
"I would hope your perceptiveness has not waned so that you do not already know the answer to that, Captain," Rumpelstiltskin spat the title out as if it was the most distasteful word in all the realms, "No, I was not following you."
"Then be on your way then, Mister Gold," Killian conveyed the same amount of distaste in his utterance of the word "mister" as Rumpelstiltskin had with "captain".
"I was not following you," He reiterated, "But I do need to have a word with you."
The pirate rolled his eyes, not wanting to be in the same town with this bastard, much less exchange words with him. He flicked his sword towards the Dark One, indicating for him to get on with it.
"I understand that you had a conversation with Baelfire yesterday," He paused, leaning both hands on his cane, relaxing his stance that Killian hadn't even noticed was so tense in the first place. "I came to offer you my thanks."
Much to his displeasure, Hook was quite certain he actually guffawed at this, "I do beg your pardon?" He quirked his eyebrow at the imp, smiling at him menacingly, "While I do appreciate the populace's sudden desire to bestow upon me their gratitude for this and that, a thank you from you is the last thing I want to hear. Nor do I need it. If you would please take your poisoned tongue else where, Crocodile, this conversation is over."
Hook made to start off in the other direction, but the pawnshop owner raised his hand and effectively froze Killian in place, much to the pirate's obvious displeasure. "You'll want to hear this, pirate. So, if you don't mind," He flicked his hand, "Sit down."
Whatever hold Rumpelstiltskin had on the pirate made him obey and if looks could kill, the Dark One would have been dead on the spot. He kept his mouth in a firm line, not even bothering to address the imp and beckoning him to continue on and get this over with with a simple nod of his head.
"As you know, my relationship with Bae is a bit, hm, strained," The eye roll from the pirate went unnoticed so it seemed, "And I know that he came to visit you yesterday on that ship of yours."
"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of whom I spoke with yesterday, Crocodile. Get. On. With. It." Hook ground out, growing increasingly annoyed with the invisible barrier that had him sitting here listening to his greatest enemy chatter on.
"Patience is a virtue, Captain," This time there was no malice in the imp's tone as he uttered Hook's title, "As I was saying, I know you two had a chat yesterday and for that I owe you my thanks. You may have stolen Milah from me – ."
"You're still telling yourself that, you bastard?!"
Hook's outburst silenced Rumpelstiltskin, but he continued, "But you also made Baelfire realize he has it in him to give me a second chance. For that I owe you my thanks, and for that only."
"I already told you, I do not want your thanks. If that is what Baelfire got out of our conversation, splendid for you. You win again." Hook was on the verge of flying into some sort of dark emotion and he wanted the imp to go away, go away, go away. He promised Emma he would not cause any trouble in town and that he was done pursuing this devil in front of him. He was not fond of breaking promises.
"Yes, pirate," He waved his hand again and released his hold on Killian, "I do consider my second chance as a father to Baelfire as a win."
Killian began stalking off into the woods, his mind even more muddled than before he had set off on his walk from the Jolly. What hell was this where he was not only speaking to Rumpelstiltskin, but receiving thanks from him?
"You'll get your second chance, too."
Why the bloody hell was that imp still talking? Wait... what? Second chance? He was clearly talking about Hook's failed attempts at being a fatherly figure towards Baelfire in Neverland. Right?
"Fucking hell," Hook murmured to no one as he turned abruptly on his heel to look back at the Dark One, smile lighting his impish face. "What was that?"
Hook could have swore the git actually giggled at this. "Oh, I forgot. You didn't know. There was more than one heart beating in Milah's body whenever I yanked hers from her chest." That malicious glint was in Rumpelstiltskin's eyes. No matter the forced civility their present situation brought upon them, these two men hated each other and always would.
"No," Was all the pirate gasped out before he felt his heart break in his chest. A family. He would have had a family. More than just romance, but a family. And this.. this thing in front of him robbed him of it. Using all his strength, he threw his sword at the imp, but it was of no use. He had already disappeared.