Nicky opened the door quietly, closing it and tiptoeing into the kitchen.
"Nicky" Nicky cringed when he heard rod's voice. He had been caught. The lights were flicked on and Nicky looked at rod who was sitting crossly at the kitchen table. They were both silent for a minute. Nicky considering his options, and Rod waiting for Nicky to speak. "Hey Rod." Said Nicky finally, taking a seat across from his friend and roommate "What are you doing up so late?" Rod mentally tsked at the weak attempt. "Where were you? You were supposed to be home four hours ago. You didn't even call!" asked Rod, throwing his hands up angrily at the end of his rant. Nicky bit his lip, thinking about where he was.
-FLASHBACK-
Nicky chugged back his beer, watching people dance. He wasn't at Around The Clock, no he decided to check out a bar downtown. There was a lot more varieties of couples here. Gay, lesbian, straight, he had even seen a few transsexual men laughing and chatting. It was all really new to him, and he was happy just to watch. Nicky looked back to his table when a man about his age sat down across from him. 'You're new around here. My name's Jack." Said the man, offering his hand for Nicky to shake. Nicky shook his hand, smiling at his friendliness. "My name's Nicky." Responded Nicky, returning his hand to his side of the table. The lighting changed in the club as a new beat pulsed out of the speakers, people started cheering. "I love this song, come dance with me." Exclaimed Jack, pulling Nicky onto the dance floor before he had a chance to say no. Nicky wasn't sure what to do but he soon started mimicking the thrashing of bodies around him. Soon he was grinding against Jack, enjoying the music and the excitement of the crowd around him. Nicky gasped when Jack kissed him, grinding into him just as hard. Nicky could feel their excitement, groaning at the overly pleasant friction. Looking back he knew he wasn't thinking when he should have been. Thinking hadn't mattered in that moment. Straight, gay, just words that meant nothing in his pleasure-clouded mind. Jack lead Nicky outside, getting on his knees to give him a blowjob just as it started snowing. When it was his turn Nicky returned the action with eagerness. His mind was elsewhere completely.
-ENDFLASHBACK-
"Well I uh" responded Nicky, mind racing for a suitable lie.
"You know what, I don't even want to hear it if it's only going to be a lie." Sighed Rod "Nicky you're my best friend, I worry about you." "I know, I'm sorry for staying out so late." Apologized Nicky, he knew what happened shouldn't have, but he really didn't want to tell Rod about it. Rod stood up to go to bed but Nicky stopped him, pulling him into a tight hug. Rod returned the hug, surprised at the sudden burst of affection. Nicky bit his lip to avoid groaning. Resisting the urge to press even closer. As shameful as it was, he was still undeniably turned on by what had happened. Rod pulled away when Nicky didn't, searching his friends eyes for some meaning. "Are you all right?" asked Rod, concerned by Nicky's flushed completion. He reached up to press his hand to Nicky's forehead, but Nicky caught it first, holding it firmly. "I'm fine, I just need to sleep. Good night Rod." Answered Nicky, he hesitated a moment before pecking Rod on the cheek briefly and walking off to collapse on the couch. Rod took his questions to bed with him, leaving Nicky to sleep on the couch. Nicky buried his head into the throw pillows. How could he think of his best friend like that? Rod wasn't just some guy; he was someone Nicky cared about deeply. Nicky let out an exasperated sigh. Nothing was different than it had ever been! He had just had his first gay experience since high school and he was just a little shook up. That's it, nothing more, nothing less. Nicky closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind. Although it didn't work very well. Nicky groaned as his head was flooded with mental images. Except this time it wasn't some guy at a bar, it was Rod. -.-
Rod shut off his alarm when it went off. Seven O'clock. It was only an hour later than he usually got up for work but is he slept in late he would stay up late and then he's be tired for work in the morning. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he got up and got dressed. Quietly he headed out of his room and into the kitchen. Usually Nicky slept into the noon or later but this morning rod found Nicky in the kitchen, staring at a cup of coffee. He looked like he had stayed up all night!
"What are you doing up so early?" asked rod, he wasn't sure what else to say. He did know that "You look awful" wouldn't score him any points in the good friend category. "Couldn't sleep." Mumbled Nicky, eyes still fixed on his cup "The coffee tastes really bad, I think I put too much in. You shouldn't drink it." Rod dumped out Nicky's attempt at coffee and started brewing a new pot. He sat down across from Nicky, looking at him with concerned eyes. "Something happened last night, you can tell me about it. It might make you feel better." Said rod softly. All was silent but the mechanical whirrs of the coffee machine. Nicky glanced up at Rod, adverting his eyes again soon after, his cheeks heating up again. He was such a bad friend, thinking about rod like he did last night. "Please tell me Nicky, whatever it is I can try to help." Continued rod in the same soft, concerned voice. Nicky took a deep breath, blowing it all out until there was nothing left. He closed his eyes and refused to look at rod when he said this.
"I had oral sex with some guy at a bar last night." He carefully left out the fact that he was thinking about rod the whole time. Rod blinked, well, that was as far away from anything that he ever expected Nicky to say as possible. "Excuse me? What?" asked rod. Surely this was a joke or he was hearing things. Nicky stared at his coffee again; he suspected that it was getting cold. "I wasn't thinking, I just ..it was nice." Mumbled Nicky. He got up and dumped out his coffee, returning to his seat only to start fidgeting with the table cloth. Rod was speechless. What should he say? What could he say!
"So what does this mean exactly?" Rod asked, finally done mentally reconstructing his shattered vocabulary "Will this be happening often now?" Nicky bit his lip, thinking again. Would it happen often? It had defiantly been nice enough for him to want more but "No." answered Nicky firmly, looking up from the table cloth 'It won't happen again because there is only one person I want to do it with." Nicky's mind reeled, what was he doing? Those were all fantasies! Dreams you never told anybody about. "What are you talking about?" asked rod nervously, this is a conversation he did not want to have, was too scared to have. Nicky was coming dangerously close to the invisible comfort zone he placed himself in. "I want someone, very badly. But I don't want to be rejected. I've always just ignored, never thought about it. But I knew it was here." Explained Nicky. His eyes on the table cloth again. Rod gawked at Nicky, could he even allow himself to believe the Nicky might possibly be talking about him. "Nicky..." started Rod, not exactly sure on how to finish that sentence. Nicky got up; walking over to Rod's chair then pulled him into a standing position. They looked into each other's eyes nervously.
"Rod I .I'm not sure how to do this right or how to make it sound romantic but I love you, and I want you to love me too." Said Nicky finally, squeezing rod's hands gently. Rod quivered, he felt like crying. He never ever thought he would actually hear Nicky say those words.
"I love you too." Said rod quickly after he realised he hadn't said anything yet. Nicky smiled at him, placing his hand behind Rod's head and pushing their lips together for a rough, long desired kiss.
